Chapter Text
"Okay! We got everything we need for this journey."
Parrot huffed, finally. That shit took forever. Like an entire night. He's way too pampered by the fact that it takes about two seconds in video games.
He brought a map, a compass, a stopwatch, (aka the original kit for all the protags, and so Parrot managed to dig up these three as well, y'know, since he's the protag.) Although Parrot understands he will have some importance in the main story, since he's a protag and all. He's taking great pride in basically being the same person as one of the protagonists of UU: TOTB.
Anyone would, of course.
Maybe he should tone his pride down.. seeing how a literal prince is less proud than him.
There were also more things he brought, food, water, a spell book, his rubber-band-made-slingshot, (it's really effective, trust him). And gold coins. Which may or may not be his. Money is money, fair game. Wifies had been reading one of the books he borrowed from the library. And... did not help with the packing, more importantly.
What luxuries the royals have, huh?
"Come on Wifies, put your hood back on, and we'll get going!" He pointed at the.. closed door. But they were going to open it!
He did as Parrot said, covering his face again. It's only so long until some soldiers of Paragon come knocking on his door asking for info. If Paragon is as strict as the PZE was.
Him and Parrot walked through the town. Parrot waved at people who seemed to recognize him. That situation has happened a good amount of times, people remember him through his past achievements, and ask about the incident. Wifies held onto his freehand sleeve, just in case a swarm like that ever happened again. It'd be pretty bad if Parrot lost Wifies in the crowd.
They people would say stuff, and he would answer.
"Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah.. I'm taking it easy, don't worry about me!"
"Oh! You! I've seen your name on books."
"Uh, yeah.. me.. haha.."
"I can't believe Spoke pushed you off a balcony! You two used to be close as ever, make sure to give him work for what he did."
"We.. were? Well I mean, I guess."
"Who's your friend behind you?" Parrot pulled down Wifies' hood further until it was suffocating him. He laughed it off, a pitch a pit too high, then dragged Wifies away before they could try to get a better look at him.
"You didn't need to do that." Wifies said once they were out of earshot. "Well, yeah, I didn't, but I also didn't want to get executed. So."
As they walked further out of the kingdom, less and less people started to appear. Packing took all night, so the sun was just rising now. Signs of closed shops still up. With the few gold coins he brought, he was able to rent a horse. A small stable at the edge of the kingdom. The old man running the place didn't seem to care about Parrot under-paying, almost like he was asleep.
(And Parrot realized he doesn't know how to ride a horse, but he'll figure it out.. he's a quick learner?)
He plopped another coin on the fence ledge for the old man to collect later, Wifies needed a horse too, and there was no way he'd be able to guide a horse with two people on it. "Do you know how to ride a horse?" He looked over at Wifies, who had perfectly tamed the horse.
"Do you not know how?"
"Memory loss, remember?" He reminded, failing to hop onto the horse yet again.
"Oh.. sucks."
"Yeah... sucks for me.." Pity party, yay.
Once he was able to get onto the horse. (Which did happen, alright?) They started going to their destination.
"Are we following Spoke's instructions?" Wifies asked, to the side of him. "He was the one who pushed you off a balcony.. do you still trust him?"
Parrot smirked, Wifies didn't know what was coming.
"We'll decide once we see the first clue." He declared. The prince gave him confused look, but Parrot didn't answer.
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The horse ride was oddly quiet.
Not like Parrot expected to be like, best friends with Wifies right off the bat. But the silence was suffocating. Usually he didn't mind quiet or awkward teamwork. He thrived off of solely having transactional relationships in school. He didn't hate any of the people he worked with, he just didn't feel the need to have an emotional connection.
Seeing Wifies right there is making him sweat. It's odd.
Parrot didn't care for him at all in the game. He went missing, it had a bit to do with Wemmbu's storyline. But nothing more.
There are a bunch of side characters Parrot just never got to know. And now that they're real and standing in front of him. (Beside, but that's not the point) Parrot feels unnerved.
How many people have lives outside of the protagonists?
Whenever he had thoughts about the people he worked with in school.. he just tried to avoid it.
He's been taking this whole Isekai thing unseriously.. and it's creeping him out now that he thinks about it. People matter besides the protagonists. Especially since earlier he was just bragging about being a protag. Wifies had a life and future other than just being a part of whole building or the child for a popular ship.
...it's hard to think about.
So he's not gonna!
"Um, hey.." He wasn't sure whether or not he should use Wifies directly. Or address him as prince? He's just been saying Wifies mostly in his head because it's fast—
"What?"
"Oh.. um, right, why did you ask to come with me?"
He chuckled, the rays of the sun working in his favor. Damn royal energy. (Parrot MIGHT just be petty)
"I'm surprised you didn't ask that yet."
"Yeah, I didn't." He stated flatly. "Sorry, yeah, I'll answer. I told you that you're interesting. And I want to get out of Paragon." He looked at the sunset with too much love for the world, love that Parrot had lost long ago. (aka ever since he got his first 70) "I clearly achieved that with you here, so I'm grateful..." He trailed off.
"Is there something else you wanna say?"
"You lost your memory.. and you didn't know how to ride a horse. To give credit where credit's due, you did learn."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome." He replied quickly. "You did get me out of the kingdom. But again, you lost your memories. With all your knowledge. I'm just not so sure about your survival skills in the wild because of that."
Parrot blinked.
"Wait so.. are you questioning my competence?"
"If you want to put it that way."
His eye twitched. (He almost jumped over and tackled Wifies to the ground) But instead of yelling at Wifies, he realized he'd probably get royally humbled. Wifies' standards are high and all, being a prince. So maybe he expected a royal tour guide instead of Parrot. Who.. just wants to save the world. Brought along a prince too.
"Okay, fine, your highness, my bad for being too incompetent. Would you ever forgive me?"
"Hmm.. no."
Parrot sighed, Wifies was smart enough, (if he took account of the glaze) to figure out that Parrot was being sarcastic. Probably. Social cues and intelligence cross, but don't always go together. Lowkey, he was just ragebaiting Parrot. Even if he didn't know what those words meant.
"On another topic," Wifies began. "Are we almost at the location? How do you even know where we're going?"
"I know Spoke well enough."
"How? Memory loss?"
"I read my old diary.." He lied. "And you could hear coordinates in the recording." Which was the truth. "Oh, right, those."
Now, when they feel back into silence, Parrot felt slightly better.
Because he noticed the way Wifies hadn't been overthinking this. Probably. He can't ask him directly, or mind-read, but he looks pretty content just watching the sunrise from here.
Maybe it's a better view than from Paragon.
Princes, Kings, Queens, Monarchs, royals in general.. they're all just people at the end of the day.
And so is he.
(but he's definitely gonna save the world watch)
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As he looked down at the paper he jotted down the coordinates on, he looked up at the two stone towers in their view.
"Is this it?"
Wifies questioned, slowing down his horse. "Do you have leads, by the way?"
Parrot scuffled for his bag. "Uhh, yeah, they gave these two with the horses, not really, but I do have them." He dismantled his horse too (a little less gracefully, but it was good enough for someone who learnt how to ride a horse like yesterday) "And yes, this is it from what I can tell." Parrot answered. Handing Wifies the leads. "Potential stealing, Parrot you really are building up your crime list." Wifies took the leads, attaching them to both horses.
"I don't even have a crime list yet, I got discharged from BAT's medbay like two weeks ago. Harsh, much."
"You don't know about your past crime list?"
Parrot paused. "No.."
"Well, I don't either, so I guess you're in the clear!" He gave a dumb smile, almost marketable. Parrot did not reply with the same energy.
"Whopty-doo."
Once Wifies finished tying the rope to the fence, which should work, stay in place, because it worked in game? The two of them split up, and went to the both towers in order to investigate better.
The tower Parrot got was dimly lit. And mossy. And kind of boring.
Never had he seen it in the real map of Unstable, so it was new at least. The shape was simple, and if Spoke was the one who made it, then it wouldn't be all that hard to get the materials for. It's funny to imagine which place his storyline will go. He is still a protagonist. He should stop treating it like a title, just like a fact. That fact will impact his journey on trying to stop the guild.
Light peaked out from the hatch, Parrot pushed it open to see the blue sky, and a good view of the cave in front of the two towers.
Beside his tower was the tower Wifies had climbed up on, and he was fine, he followed suite, meeting Parrot's eyes when he made it to the top. It probably would've been bad if he had been injured or something.
The tower wasn't just a platform view of the giant cave, it also had a pressure plate.
Redstone, probably.
Parrot stepped onto the pressure plate, sure hope this doesn't blow up anything, a small click when Wifies did the same.
Thankfully, it didn't. The entrance of the cave opened up, the stone retracting into the walls of the cave. And behind the cave doors was complete and utter darkness, but Parrot can get this thing quickly.
He eyed Wifies, pointing back at the ground. He got the signal, and headed down the tower around the same time Parrot did.
"This is the most trapped thing I've ever seen."
"Definitely a Spoke-move." Parrot agreed. "So then what? We just let this 'life changing-info' in his hands?" He made air quotes. Parrot scoffed. The forbidden magic isn't even in his hands by this part of the story. But how would he know that?
"Nah, you wanna come with or stay back?" Parrot looked over his shoulder, a step from going into the dark cave.
Wifies grimaced, head turning to the horses, and then back at Parrot.
"I mean.. I guess I'll come with you, I wanted to see more of the world?" He hesitantly stepped next to Parrot. "I won't be your human-meat shield, just saying." He warned, walking down the cold floors of the cavity. "Didn't expect you to." Wifies mumbled, sticking close to his side.
He looked forward at the chest, not too deep in the cave. It could definitely be a trapped-chest.
As Parrot and Wifies made their way closer to the chest, he noticed that it was on a pedestal of some sorts. Chiseled stone, made to look like a lost temple. Something like that.
"Hold on, stay back, this is trapped."
The pedestal could just be to cover up the TNT near the chest. Or the redstone connecting the TNT.
Wifies inched back a little.
"Further."
He was now 6 feet away from Parrot. "If you think you can get out of the cave at that spot, then go for it." Parrot offered. Wifies shuffled back silently.
Time to see what the chest had. Parrot knelt down, slightly, just so he was still ready to run if he needed to. He tilted open the lid, snatching a Totem of Undying, and the crystal shard that Spoke left there for them. Once both things were in his hands, he pounced off of the ground, pushing his ankles to the limits. Luckily for him, this body did cross-country when they were in grade 5, so past ParrotX2 wasn't incredibly shit at running like he was.
A sizzle.
TNT.
"WIFIES— RUN!"
He yelled, seeing the young prince hesitate, which okay, he's a prince, he's probably guarded all the time. Parrot grasped onto Wifies' wrist, pulling him along out of the cave, some time in-between, the guy finally started to pick up the pace, out-running the explosion.
Parrot spun around, trying to get a good look at the cave—
—which was no longer a cave.
What remained was a crater in the ground where the cave used to be. The hole starting just where he and Wifies stopped.
"Oh shit."
He muttered, taking more distance from the hole. Dragging Wifies with him.
Realizing he had still been holding on, he let go.
"Sorry."
"Uh, it's alright."
He looked down at the totem and the shard in his hand. Then back at the big hole in the earth.
"...are you gonna listen to the message?"
Parrot shook his head.
"Nah, I'll do it later, we have somewhere else to go."
Wifies' face melted into confusion. "Wait, what? Why? Don't you need the message in order to find out Spoke's secret or something?" He stayed back while Parrot made his way back to their horses. The horses neighed and rustled around, they were shook from the loud noise of the TNT. Parrot tried to comfort his horse by petting it.
"I'll check out the messages later, I know what I'm doing, trust me."
After a few more strokes through the horse's mane, Parrot had successfully calmed it down. He cut the lead, rolling it back up to fit into his bag, and watched as Wifies walked closer.
"I won't let you die at least?" He promised, but it sounded like a question.
Wifies sighed, calming down his horse by doing the same. "I thought you said you wouldn't be my 'human-meat shield' as you so eloquently put it."
"Ehhh well, things change." He said, getting on his horse. "I'm not tryna get executed, y'know? Even though I already let you escape and come with me, I feel like I'd wage war if I let you die." Wifies looked conflicted as he heard that, but he got onto his horse as well. "I feel like you're already on trial for 'kidnapping' me."
"Funny joke, bro."
His silence was not funny.
"Wifies?"
"So, Parrot uhm..." Wifies murmured, quiet. "Did you not know what you were getting into when you let me come with you?"
"NO!?"
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So.
So, so, so, so.
He has apparently, allegedly, might've, accidentally kidnapped a prince.
By law's standards. Not with malicious intent.
The two of them had taken long horse-rides with cold-arguments and Parrot wanting a barf-bag. Now, they had taken a stop under some trees so they could take a break from horse-riding forever. Also to eat the food he had packed earlier. Parrot faced away from Wifies, and opted to stare at the wood on the tree. Arms crossed.
"You knew about this the whole time.." He shook his head, wallowing in the betrayal. "Parrot, we talked about this two hours ago." Wifies said, it didn't make his fate any less horrible. "Wifies, I will die in the next twenty-four hours, do you know what this means for me?!"
Wifies pressed his lips together, scratching his neck.
"I mean.. my friends have escaped from these trials, if my parents like you enough, you'll be fine!"
Parrot groaned loudly. He almost smacked his head against the tree trunk, before Wifies stopped him, pulling his shoulder back, by extension, his head.
"Don't do that."
"I'm gonna get executed, Wifies? Do you not— you don't, nevermind, you don't get it." He cut himself off.
If he thinks about it, the PZE guards are likely coming after his head.
Which is bad, because Flame is one of those guards. And he knows this because it was featured in both Flame and Wemmbu's storyline. A quest from the PZE to strengthen their bond with Paragon. That was the stupid mission? To find the 'kidnapped' prince? He should've figured it was related to the fourth route.. but they cut out random quests all the time! How was he supposed to know that?!
It was good to know he wasn't totally doomed. If he got on the good-side of Fluixon (who did most of the executing) he could make it out their with his head... just without his home, status, friends, social life. Great, just great.
"...so, on another topic..."
Wifies started sheepishly, slowly, testing out the waters.
"What?"
"Where are we going if we aren't even gonna listen to the message Spoke left?"
"Oh! So, you know that there are landmarks all over Unstable?"
Wifies face didn't scream recognition.
"Great builds? Made by that one merchant?"
Then his eyes lit up. "Ohhh, those landmarks, the ones Squiddo made." He nodded.
"Squiddo? You know her?"
He smiled. "We're good friends. What about her?"
Huh. That wasn't in the game. Not like Spoke really knew Squiddo that well.
"The master builders, the group of people they lead? They got pretty good payment from Spoke." He explained vaguely. "Or so I've heard." He added for safety and subtlety. He's truly a master of the art of being subtle. "I've heard. They actually told me about it."
"Would you know about the forbidden magic items they got?"
Wifies paused.
"..no."
"Since all the landmarks are now raided, and probably half-destroyed, I think we should find Squiddo herself."
Wifies raised a brow.
"Should we—?"
"You wouldn't happen to have an idea where she is? Would you?"
".. uh, on the road? Trying to find Spoke?"
Vault-breaking it is. Where Spoke is, will be unclear, he's still not definitively sure of the timeline. Maybe he could attempt to intercept one of the popular villages for stopping, but other than that, he won't have much of a chance at catching Squiddo.
"Well, I think we had enough of a break." Parrot tossed the apple to the side. "Are you ready to go yet?"
"Not like I have a choice."
"You totally had a choice, Wifies. You chose you went out of your way to come with me."
"I was just trying to guilt-trip you." Wifies admitted defeat.
"It didn't work." He said flatly.
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Back on the road— or, more like pathway, he kept looking back at the map. Their trip has gone on for around.. three days?
"You are the vaguest person I ever met, Parrot."
"How so?" He replied, not really paying attention, eyes glued to the map. "You talked about Squiddo and the landmarks she managed to get built, but you aren't saying where we're going. Or the context behind the forbidden items she got paid? Can you like.. explain more?"
"Uhh..." Parrot mulled it over. "Yeah, no."
"Parrot.. I don't know why I came here if I learnt jack from this trip. You're getting executed for no reason. Basically."
"It's just hard to explain— I still don't even get it!"
Lie.
He's lying.
It'd just be hard to explain how he knew all of this.
"I can get it quick.. I'm good at learning and stuff." Wifies insisted. "It's like an hour of yapping, I wouldn't want to bore you." He switched tactics, if he wanted to be such a quick learner, he'd be bored just with the sheer amount of lore Parrot had to learn.
"Be like that, I'll just tell Squiddo you suck and tell guards that you kidnapped me. And not try to convince my parents to keep you alive."
"Would you really do that to me?"
Parrot asked.
He hoped he wouldn't regret asking that.
"Prince Wifies should honestly do that to you, ParrotX2."
Yep, he definitely regretted that.
Parrot stopped his horse, looking up on the road ahead, stood two people with netherite armor and sharp blades. On their shields had the yellow patterning of the PZE. Which told Parrot everything he needed to know. Not to mention he recognized the colored trims of their armor. And their faces, oh so familiar faces.
Flame and Mane.
These two were high-ranking guards at the PZE. Well, at this point and time. Flame was also a main character, so, there's that. Parrot assumes this is his first impression, and also an attempt to get him executed at the orders of Monarch Zam. Wifies glanced at Parrot, slight confusion flashing on his face, before he went back to a poker face.
Did he bring anything useful to allow them to get away?
He peaked in his bag— enderpearls!
All he needed to do was waste some time. He jumped off his horse, he gestured Wifies to come down. When his feet planted onto the ground, turned around, handing Wifies an enderpearl. "What are these—"
"Throw it top right when I do, trust me. Top right."
More scurrying through his bag, speed potions, and strength (not like he'd use it though) Parrot threw it at their feet. Which made the two brothers hold back a laugh.
"Are you really trying to fight us?"
Parrot shook his head at Wifies, there's no way that he'd be able to fight the Immortal demon. "Unless you're some combat master Wifies."
"Pfft, are you crazy?"
He mulled it over.
"Eh, yeah you're right, you're a prince and whatnot."
He listened for the footsteps, the two of them, pouncing off the ground, the zip sound of air breaking as an enderpearl was shot through the air.
"Throw!"
He chuckled an enderpearl as far as he could, which was actually further than he thought, Wifies aimed for around the same area. He braced for impact when the enderpearl landed, he scanned the area for Wifies, then pulled his arm to start running. Shoving a couple of enderpearls in his hands just in case they caught up. Only a stack, seriously? What was past him thinking?
"Come on! This is why I threw the speed potion!"
The grass shuffled and brushed against his boots (not ideal for running) as he closed his eyes and pushed forward. Again, this body seemed to have trained enough. Past ParrotX2 didn't have any life-wrecking video games to worry about.
"What about our horses?!"
"They're fine! Keep on running!"
"We'll have to come back for them?! To give them to the old man?!" Wifies jogged his memory. "I know that! Just wait until they're really off our trail!"
"I think they are."
"Oh." Parrot stopped running, legs buckling in like an old man in retirement. "Now I just look stupid." He pulled out his spyglass, resting on his belt, he unhooked it from the buckle. From the view of the lens, he was able to see Flame and Mane just completely laughing at him. Amusing. Why does everyone think he's amusing?
"You are stupid."
"I am not stupid and you know it."
"Yeah. I do."
He turned to Wifies. "What is the point of saying any of this?"
"Where are our horses? I'm not gonna walk all this way!"
"Bro this is the farthest you've ever walked in your life! It's not gonna pain you to walk a little longer. Also—" Parrot waited hearing the sound of the air splitting and the particles that came afterwards.
"—we got the horses."
His appeared right in front of him, and at the same time, Wifies' teleported behind him.
"What?"
"Yeah, so quit whining and get on, we got a vault to visit, since the village probably has other PZE guards."
"No, wait, how did this happen? Horses don't just teleport unless you have some sort of magic!"
It's called being a playable character. He wants to say, but doesn't. "Stop questioning it, that just happens." He shrugs it off, he has to act like this is normal or else Wifies will genuine pull out all the books in his royal library to debate him on this.
"At least we got our horses back, right?"
"This is not possible considering all the research I've done in magic and the fact I've been with you the whole time, but whatever I guess."
"That's the mentality!"
"Let's just go to our next destination.."
"Roshambo vault here we come!"
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"At least he knew his limits." Mane commented, looking up, body laid back.
"No way bro was actually gonna fight us. That was the best he could do." Flame argued. "Whatever," Mane made a vague gesture with his hand. "We got some info on where Spoke might be.. Ro's vault? Zam's ordering us to come there with the rest of the guards."
"Oh well we gotta head over there then."
"Well yes that was just what I said."
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A few days on the road with their horses. Parrot actually named his this time.
"I'm gonna call her Earth."
"Why earth?"
"Because we are traveling on earth."
"That is the stupidest backstory I've ever heard behind a naming ceremony."
"Okay, if your naming skills are so great, what's your horse named?"
"Hmmm.. Bethany."
"Did you just fucking say Bethany?"
"Yes? What's wrong with the name Bethany? I think it suits her and you're just a propagandist."
"Did your father teach you that word?"
"Yep. How'd you know?"
Parrot exhaled, thinking back to all the clips of him executing Mapic pre-guild. "Lucky guess."
The two of them talked about stupid stuff like that. Parrot tried making things about opinions and stories rather than debates or facts. Because half of the things Parrot has memorized doesn't make sense for him to know. Heck, he shouldn't even know where Ro's vault is, he just does because he remembers doing it in the game. But past ParrotX2 wouldn't have a way of knowing that with what he's done in the past few weeks.
When the vault comes into view, a large structure, architecture all made by the same group of builders. It really is still a shock to him that Squiddo and Wifies are friends. There's no way that had been mentioned in the game though.
"I'm not actually sure if this vault is raided or not..."
"PARROT WE TOOK 2 DAYS TO GET HERE?!"
"Well yeah but like.."
If he thinks about the timeline, Spoke might've already broken in here.
"Like what?"
"It just looks raided, y'know?" He can't be bothered with in-depth explanations. Wifies places a palm on his forehead. "Do you know how much every book about literally anything talks about you?" He questioned Parrot.
"No?"
(Up until his time of being isekai'd, none of the protags really picked up books, so he never got the change to read an in-universe book)
"Way too much. You had way too much knowledge and experience and now it's.. gone."
"Harsh..."
"I don't hate you or anything Parrot, you aren't stupid,"
"—despite all you've said." Parrot interjects.
Wifies pauses. Then adds, "Despite all I've said, yes." Before continuing. "You're just.. not the stoic person I expected you to be."
"Really?"
"Maybe I set my expectations for the researcher ParrotX2 too high, but, I still like this version of you."
"Thanks."
Clap.
Somebody is clapping their hands, slow and mocking. He turns around, his worst fucking fear is behind him. A monarch draped in a blue cloak, dark skin, yellow hair, a clown on top of their head. Jewels accessorized her from head-to-toe, richness practically pouring off her. As if he very soul was laughing at him.
"Well, I didn't expect to see you here, ParrotX2. You're not Spoke, but you're someone."
Parrot gulped.
It was Zam. The ruler of the PZE.
He smiled, with a simple flick of the wrist, guards emerged behind him. Wifies reached out, he looked confused, a loss of words, but by the time she was finished laughing, Parrot was disarmed and on the ground. Cheek pressing against the mud.
"Fuck my chungus life." He muttered under his breath. The person holding him down twisted his arm further.
"Order the criminal to be judged under Paragon's rule." He is so fucking cooked. He is done for. Why give him an extra life at all? "Do not let him escape. Bring Prince Wifies along with his." He heard the monarch say.
"Wait—!"
Was the last thing he heard, Wifies calling out to him. Until someone forced his head to eat dirt.
Somehow this is Spoke's fault.