Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Fall, 2014

It was 23 games in, more than a quarter way through the new season, and they had 20 wins. Twenty fucking wins, baby! Cliff Marleau, Stanley Cup winner, was on top of the world. He and Roz were connecting like crazy on the ice and this was shaping up to be Cliff's best season ever. They’d been unreal in their game against Montreal last night, which they won 3-1. Roz and Cliff both got Gordie Howe hat tricks, and they both had the busted lips to prove it. It was way too early to even think it, it was a jinx actually, nearly sacreligious…but the knowledge sat in the back of Cliff’s brain, nonetheless. Back-to-back cups was a real possibility with the way everyone was playing. 

Cliff even had a plan for his personal life. He was a lot of things: great at hockey, great at sex, athletic, enthusiastic, fun, sorta funny. Cliff had a lot going for him. What he did not have was smarts. Which led him to a terrible habit in his relationships. Normally he’d get with a girl casually, then it'd be less casual. Maybe a vacation together, or some flashy gift. Then they’d be serious, then it’d all fall apart. Usually it all took about six weeks.

Nicole was like the fifth girl he was sure he could make it work with, and he wanted to be right this time. They'd just started tipping from casual to less casual, had a nice short trip to Aruba over a three day break. And it was on the plane ride back that Cliff did maybe the smartest thing he'd ever done in his entire life. He just...told her. Just, cards on the table: hey, I'm a hockey player with 10+ concussions. I haven't read a book since the fourth grade. I like you but I am very stupid. I am too stupid to make a relationship work unless you know how stupid I am and account for it. Please, always remember how stupid I am. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it, but just remember I never really know what I'm doing.

And she'd just laughed, and kissed him, and agreed to be exclusive. Smartest move of his life.

The Bears were more than half way through a roadie, but had two more games before heading home. He’d have a few days for Thanksgiving and Nicole was bringing him around to meet her law school friends. It wasn't her mom and dad, but it wasn't bad, either. He'd take it.

His phone buzzed. 

The Boys 

7:19pm

Gravy: club tonight?

Hammer: can’t move after that hit
Hammer: video games and takeout?

Roz: I vote video games and dumplings 

Hammer: Roz says no club? 

Roz: got my soul sucked out of my dick last night
Roz: mariokart is the only cure for this I think

Hammer: Montreal girl?

Roz: 😏

Cliff was happy either way. Club, Mariokart, whatever. He was in a good mood, his boys were with him, Nicole was smart enough for both of them, and he was playing like a beast lately.

Cliff: I'm up for whatever

Gravy: I need alcohol

Cliff: ?

Gravy: Sera broke it off

Hammer: thought you guys were good?

Gravy: we were
Gravy: but she said we’re done
Gravy: hoped she’d cool off by now
Gravy: but she hasn’t texted me this whole roadie
Gravy: i really fucking liked her, man

Cliff: ah, that sucks Gravy, sorry

Roz: but a few weeks without you she will call again, no?

Gravy: i fucking hope so

Roz: she will

Gravy: no offense Roz 
Gravy: but the fuck would you know about it?
Gravy: you never see the same girl more than twice

Roz: untrue! some repeats
Roz: Sveta, for one

Gravy: 🙄🙄

Cliff: I'm with Gravy, long term FWB don’t count

Roz: my Jane

Cliff: Montreal hookup? don't think that counts either

Roz: no, she is not just road girl
Roz: not just convenient 
Roz: she is the best

Gravy: yeah, she sucks your soul out your dick, we get it

Roz: no, it’s weird with her
Roz: idk if anyone else ever has this happen
Roz: but i can’t get enough from her
Roz: usually after sex with someone i am done
Roz: but the more I have of Jane, the more I want
Roz: is weird, right?

Cliff: same with Nicole
Cliff: the more i have the more i want

Roz: yes, right, like that

Hammer: sounds like you’re falling for her, Rozy

Roz: no, no
Roz: it's more like, sometimes I want to see her even after sex
Roz: or text her but not send dick pics
Roz: weird feeling, like horny but for talking and hanging out
Roz: it's confusing, hard to explain

Cliff: you’re literally just describing liking a person

Roz: no, i am not explaining right
Roz: i love sex with her
Roz: i love teasing her, she gets so annoyed
Roz: and when she gets mad and won’t answer i'm happy
Roz: because I know when i do see her she will angry-fuck me
Roz: with angry little kitten face 😾
Roz: it's the best

Hammer: Rozanov!
Hammer: you are straight-up into her 

Roz: no, let me try to explain it right
Roz: bc it is not like that
Roz: she has stupid boring takes on everything
Roz: reads boring books
Roz: doesn’t like to go clubbing
Roz: takes herself too seriously
Roz: but is crazy CRAZY
Roz: absolute fucking freak in bed

Gravy: Roz? falling for a sex freak? who’d have guessed!?

Roz: the sex is so good
Roz: i am always thinking about it at least a little bit
Roz: but sometimes something (not sex) happens and I think, oh Jane will think this is funny 
Roz: and I tell her abt it after we fuck 
Roz: or I’ll text her 
Roz: and she’ll laugh and tell me to fuck off
Roz: and it's nice bc she is thinking abt me

Cliff: yeah, that’s not a casual hookup, man 

Roz: no, no, you are wrong
Roz: definitely casual, just best ever sex
Roz: so its in front of my brain usually

St. Vicky: hold on, lemme catch up 

St. Vicky: okay, yeah, no
St. Vicky: Roz you’re like actually in love with her
St. Vicky: genuinely, that’s what falling in love is

Roz: ugh NO
Roz: is a sex thing
Roz: sex so good it confuses my brain and my dick

St Vicky: (and his heart)

Roz: NO, not love 
Roz: last year we didnt even text for like six months 

St. Vicky: oh, yeah?
St. Vicky: how often did you open the text thread?

Roz: idk, once a week, maybe?

St. Vicky: bro…

Roz: mostly to reread old sexts

Roz: after we won the cup i saw her 
Roz: had the hottest sex of my life 
Roz: fucking unreal 
Roz: wish we recorded it 
Roz: but it's better we didn’t
Roz: you would find me dead from thirst with my dick in my hand

St. Vicky: jfc, dude

Cliff: once a week ain’t bad, actually
Cliff: when Nicole's mad I check texts like every five mins

Roz: see? not love
Roz: very easy to not think of her
Roz: very hard to not think of the sex
Roz: and I’m hard when I do think of the sex 😏

Gravy: ok, cool, split the difference 
Gravy: we’ll say you’re in love with the sex then

Hammer: so, mariokart?  

Roz: no, fuck mariokart 
Roz: let’s get fucked up

Cliff: hell yeah, brother

Roz: Gravy, we'll find some women

 
Gravy: meet you in the lobby at 10?

Hammer: you fucking idiots
Hammer: gravy, call sera and apologize

Hammer: roz, seek therapy
Hammer: like, copious amounts of fucking therapy

Roz: booooo, so boring

Cliff felt good, great even. He was drunk and loose. Gravy was tense, pent up and looking for something, but Roz was all easy laughter and eager movements. They owned that dance floor. There were girls and booze and party favors and VIP tables and the three of them were enjoying every fucking second of it. 

He kept half an eye on Roz and Gravy, they were going a little hard, sure, but nothing outrageous. Cliff just danced right along side them.

“Remember Captain Hook and the crocodile?” Gravy shouted to them, sometime after 2am. “Peter Pan was on TV a few nights ago and I finally got that whole thing! Like, the clock and ticking was him getting older, and Hook was chasing Peter Pan to like, destroy his youth because Hook can’t have it anymore! 

“What?” Roz looked him up and down with his funny little half-smile. 

“I just saw that and was like, oh, I get it! I get it now! Like, I feel like that sometimes! Like there’s a fucking clock-crocodile chasing me, you know? Time is coming for us, guys, and it’ll rip off our other hand, too!”

Cliff just moved his shoulders to the music. Hockey players could be depressing as hell when they remembered their bodies would break down eventually and their careers would come to a grinding halt. Cliff just wanted to dance. 

“I have no idea what the fuck you are saying!” Roz yelled back. “Don’t be sad tonight, sad is so boring! Boring to focus on shit we cannot change, like fucking passage of time. We are professional athletes, the eh, what is word, sand clock thing? It's going already. We are on borrowed time. Live while we can, okay?” Roz took shot glasses off the tray a server carried around and handed one to Cliff and Gravy, each. 

“Fuck yeah, boys. Live while we fucking can!” Cliff clinked his glass against his boys' they all threw back their shots. They danced for a while, drank some more, and Cliff had a blast and did not waste a single fucking second mourning the vulnerability of falling in love or the fleeting nature of life. Perks of being stupid, maybe.

Later the three of them stood shoulder to shoulder and smoked on the balcony. The sun was coming up. It was fucking beautiful, actually. Cliff hadn't planned to hook up tonight, obviously, but he couldn't help but notice that Roz and Gravy both they'd had their choice of a dozen beautiful women and instead they were out here on the balcony. Just looking at the skyline. Resolute in not looking at their fucking phones.

“You love Sera, you think?” Roz asked Gravy.

“I dunno. Can’t shake her, so maybe?”

“But you want more with her? Than just casual, I mean?”

“Yeah, probably, I think so.” 

“So, you fucked it up?” Cliff asked.

“Looks like,” Gravy agreed.

“But you do want her? And you could have her, still? If you do better?” Roz pressed on.

“Yeah, I think so. I think I could probably make it work if I fucking tried for once.”

Roz smoked his cigarette to the filter while he considered that. "So, why are you here, Gravy? Go do what Hammer said. Call her. Buy her gifts. Tell her you want her. Take her out for fancy dinners, take her to fucking Carribean, fuck her stupid and wake up next to her. Tell her you love her.” Roz didn’t look at either of them, he kept his eyes on the traffic below, the skyline, anywhere but at Cliff. 

“Big talk, Roz. What about you and your Jane? Vicky's right, it's like you're in love with her. You gonna tell me you don’t want more with her?” Gravy spat back.

“I don’t love her. I barely know her. We fuck a few times a year, send flirty texts in between. She likes it like this, occasional. She gets what she needs from me already, it’s not like I have much else to give." Ouch, that one sounded like it hurt, actually. "Our thing is just this, supposed to be fun. Easy. That’s all.” Roz shrugged.  

“Huh," Cliff said, looking at his own cigarette. "So you brought it up with her before? You’ve talked about it?”

And then Roz was back to all charm and easy smiles. “Well, it's hard to talk much with my dick in her mouth, but don't worry about me, Marly. We have fun. We blow off steam. We flirt and argue and fuck and it's good. Does not mean more than that.”

Well, that was bullshit. But Roz was a fully grown man. He could figure out for himself if he wanted more or not. Wasn’t Cliff’s place to challenge that. Fuck, Cliff had to focus on his own shit here. 

“Oh shit, Sera's calling," Gravy said as he ran off to find a quiet place to answer. 

Cliff and Roz shouted encouragement after him, although Cliff couldn't really think of a positive reason Gravy's ex was calling at 5am after Gravy had been dumb enough to post club pictures online.

Roz smiled, clapped a hand on Cliff’s shoulder and pulled him against his body. They stood like that a while, watching the traffic start to pick up. "Remember my rookie season, we came to team breakfast drunk? In Detroit, I think?" Roz asked.

Cliff laughed. "You were nearly benched, haha. Coach was so pissed at me, I was supposed to be watching you, he said."

"Yes, but you were very bad at that. Always gave in so easy."

"It's not even that, I told Coach you just outsmarted me at every turn. Not fair to ask me to keep you in check."

Roz laughed. "No, Marly, you are just a good friend. Never let me drink alone."

And they stood there, watching the sun come up.

March 2015

Everything was good. It’d be an uphill battle for the Cup, what with the way injuries had hit the team, but it wasn’t off the table, either. Roz was in a fucking groove. The Bears had picked up a new winger in Carmicheal before the trade deadline and he'd folded in seamlessly. He was a good addition to the team, a good match for the guys, and everything felt like it was coming together. Roz was steady for once, too. Usually, Roz had some wild fucking mood swings throughout the season. Bouts of depression, manic phases. But lately he was as close to mentally healthy as any young, famous, hockey player could be. And his play was solid. Whatever the kid was doing was working.

Nicole and Cliff were in a good spot too. They fought sometimes, sure, but they made up more often than they fought. She was fiery and took Cliff at his word that he was very dumb and any dumb thing he did was because of that, not because he didn't care. She still had limited patience, though, she was only human. Roadies were fucking killer, but it’s just the way it was. Nicole didn’t expect Cliff to be a saint, he still partied. Still hit the clubs with the guys. He just went home alone. It was working for them.

Cliff was fucking happy.

The Boys 

8:28pm

Hammer: what’s the move tonight?

Carmy: Roz, we doing the club? Your old hookup come thru?

Roz: yeah. eclipse, 10, vip section 
Roz: tell the team but we need a headcount if more than 15

St. Vicky: I’m outtie, gonna hit a titty bar with Marly

Roz: hot wings place?

Gravy: lmao, marly never shuts up abt it when we’re in Chicago 

Hammer: Nicole good with that?

Cliff: yeah, I mostly go for the wings
Cliff: best hot wings I’ve ever had 
Cliff: swear to god 

 

12:18am

St. Vicky: anyone know if Hollander has a sister?

Gravy: Shane Hollander? Idk, why?

Cliff: shut up, Vic, it’s obviously not

Roz: I think only child. why?

St. Vicky: one of the girls here looks EXACTLY like Hollander 
St. Vicky: could honestly be his twin

Cliff: pretty close match, ngl

Hammer: hahaha

Gravy: ahaha, that’s wild

Carmy: lmao, nice

Roz: hahahahaha

Roz: but what’s the bar again?
Roz: send address

Hammer: LOL

Carmy: lmao, Roz 

Roz: haha, no
Roz: but yes, really
Roz: tell me where?

Roz: where?
Roz: where is bar
Roz: ??

Gravy: Roz, you're doing fine here, what about that blonde chick?
Gravy: Roz?

Roz

12:20am

Roz: marly
Roz: where r you? ?
Roz: marly
Roz: marly
Roz: marleau
Roz: clifford fucking marleau
Roz: were the fuck are you?
Roz: don't after-midnight me you motherfucker

Team Chat 

12:23am

Roz: anyone!
Roz: what is this hot wing and titty bar marly is always talking abt?

Rook: gotchu cap
Rook: [location share]

Roz: bless!

Seb: bless? oh cap is DRUNK-drunk, huh?

Roz: rook gets out of one bagskate this week
Roz: seb doesd double 

Hammer: LMAO ROZ 
Hammer: is this a fucking joke??

Cliff: no one told the rook to never answer Roz after midnight?

Hammer: he’s like a gremlin, kid
Hammer: don’t feed him after midnight
Hammer: only causes trouble

Roz: unsportsmanlike conducts
Roz: betrayal from marly and seb and hammer 

The Boys 

12:25am

Carmy: Marly and Vic, Roz is headed your way, I think
Carmy: wasted btw
Carmy: just RAN outta here

Hammer: that was crazy, lmao 

Gravy: like a Russian sleeper agent being activated 

Cliff: yeah, he’s blowing up my phone

Roz

12:25am

Roz: im coming thru
Roz: just tell me 
Roz: i need to know to expect
Roz: this hollander stripper 
Roz: does she have freckles?

Cliff: LOL
Cliff: I love you, Roz 
Cliff: but you need some serious psychotherapy and shit
Cliff: this is deeply fucked 

Roz: hillandeer is ahead in the points race this season 😡
Roz: is it so crazy to want a lap dance from lookalike????
Roz: 😇 😇 😇
Roz: crazy to try for more than lapdance, maybe?    

Cliff: you’re gonna try to pull a stripper bc she looks like your rival?

 

Roz: depends. 
Roz: freckles?!??

Cliff: yeah
Cliff: cute freckles

Roz: stop looking. 
Roz: mine. 
Roz: freckles mine.

Cliff: the fuck???

The Boys

9:18am

Gravy: yo, Roz, you good?

 

9:40am

Carmy: Did he make it to you?

St. Vicky: for a min
St. Vicky: then he emptied the atm and booked a private room

Hammer: Roz
Hammer: Lmaooooo
Hammer: you’re actually twisted
Hammer: for real sick in the head, bro

Roz: what?
Roz: you would not take opportunity to fuck girl-version of your rival?

Cliff: i mean, idk
Cliff: prly not

Roz: lies. liars
Roz: american nonsense 
Roz: cowardice 
Roz: puritan hang ups
Roz: i weep for you

St Vicky: no, i think i get it

Gravy: Vic’s last girl looked exactly like his mom, it’s not helping your case, cap

Cliff: if we’re talking abt how fucked up Roz is
Cliff: can we talk abt that late-in-the-third hatty against MTL last year?
Cliff: cuz Roz was fully fucking hard in the locker room after

Roz: omg yes
Roz: was so beautiful 
Roz: half hard now thinking abt it

St. Vicky: man, you need to talk to the team doctor or something
St. Vicky: they got pills and shit you can go on

Roz: crushing enemies is good 
Roz: sex is good
Roz: dick gets confused 
Roz: such things happen with so many conquests 

Hammer: nope 
Hammer: no

Roz: it is ok
Roz: one day one of you will play good game
Roz: your poor dicks will not know what to do
Roz: but i am good friend and captain 
Roz: will find nice hockey rival stripper for you

Cliff: so, you had fun with the hollander-stripper, then?

Roz: when I marry my freckled beauty you can give wedding speech, marly

St. Vicky: she wear a hollander jersey for you, too, cap?

Roz: st simon, i cannot let this stand
Roz: my beauty wears my jersey when we fuck
Roz: you apologize to my beautiful wife or no wedding invite 

Cliff: not Roz falling for the stripper
Cliff: hearing wedding bells and shit

Roz: black tie event but hot wings for dinner

Cliff: omfg those hot wings at a wedding
Cliff: no bullshit, I actually think this could be a good move for you
Cliff: most guys shouldn't marry a stripper they just met
Cliff: but I legit think it would work for Roz

Gravy: marly really pimping cap out for some hot wings?

Sidebar (no Roz)

Carmy created Sidebar (no Roz) group chat
Carmy added you to Sidebar (no Roz) group chat

 

10:14am

Carmy: YO. Roz???

Hammer: yeah, he’s certif-fucking-fiable

Gravy: Seb saw the stripper leaving Roz’s room this morning, lmao
Gravy: even Seb was like, am i tripping or is that a girl-version of hollander

St. Vicky: genuinely Roz is so fucked up, haha

Carmy: no but seriously
Carmy: is this one of those insane crashouts you guys mentioned?
Carmy: like, do we address it?

Cliff: ehhhhh
Cliff: Roz crashes out sometimes
Cliff: this aint that tho
Cliff: he’s just super competitive and freaky as hell
Cliff: makes shit weird sometimes
Cliff: he got worked up talking about Lemieux's finals deke once

Hammer: lmao, i remember that
Hammer: no shame either
Hammer: found a girl and went to the club bathroom with her like four mins later

Cliff: he’s also has a thing about freckles

St. Vicky: oh yeah, Roz and freckles
St. Vicky: like, it’s a THING

Gravy: I’ve noticed the freckles thing before
Gravy: line ten girls up he’s going for freckles every time

Carmy: so if this isn't a crash out, what’s that look like?

Cliff: fighting a fan
Cliff: drug bender
Cliff: consistently dropping 10k+ on strippers 
Cliff: 3am posts with sad music
Cliff: thats when we intervened in the past

Carmy: intervene?

Hammer: take turns going over for videogames, works outs, shit like that

St. Vicky: keep him away from blow, he goes wild with it when he’s crashing out

Carmy: ok, fine but like
Carmy: I’m still hung up on the fact that ROZ FUCKED THE HOLLANDER STRIPPER

Cliff: he gets a little manic with it sometimes
Cliff: it’s fine, tho, it just means his play is abt to be INSANE
Cliff: watch, he's gonna be a fucking demon on the ice

Carmy: if you say so...

Cliff fucking told Carmy so. Bears went on a seven game winning streak, fueled in part by Roz’s intensity on the ice. He was locked in, fucking everywhere out there. He racked up assist after assist and goal after goal. He also led in penalty minutes, but Carmy was a beautician at killing the powerplay. It all went well, they were playing some unbelievable hockey. They locked their standings in for playoffs and were looking fantastic. Cliff couldn't help but think about the Cup, jinxes be damned.

But then their goalie got hurt, their reserve wasn’t as good, and fucking Shane Hollander and his Metros knocked them out of the playoffs in 6 games. It stung like it always did. But Cliff was more than a little amused by the glint in Roz’s eye every time he took the face off against Montreal’s captain. He wondered if Roz was thinking about the similar pretty brown eyes and freckles he'd had under him a few weeks prior.

The team was out for drinks, commiserating about their loss. Roz was smirking at his phone, texting some girl. Probably his Montreal girl, the way his face flushed. 

“Ahh, there he is, the blushin’ Russian!” Cliff chirped at him. Roz got pissed when Cliff teased him about blushing. 

“You know your eyes were straight-up twinkling during face offs with Hollander, right?” Gravy asked. “Good memories of pretty girls?” 

The boys hooted. Most of the guys knew that Roz had RUN to the strip club to find the Hollander-Stripper. And he didn’t seem appropriately shamed over it. He wore it like a badge of honor. Kid was fucking twisted.

“Ehh, no, not really. Hollander’s pads just reminded me of your mother’s shoulders, Gravy. They say she is built like a linebacker so I shot my line on her back, yes?” More shouts and hoots from the guys, Cliff laughed too. Roz was funny as hell.

"But don't worry, Gravy, I am not ready to be stepdad yet, I just keep your mom as my number four girl."

“You’re fucking deranged, Rozy,” Hammer said, shaking his head.

Cliff loved his idiot captain.