Chapter Text
Tsukishima Kei gets startled by his alarm. He has an extremely early job interview that he has to go to today. He tries to pretend that he doesn't hear it by just staring at the ceiling.
He doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to get up, he wants to stay with Yamaguchi, but when he looks to the side, he isn't there.
He didn't get back?
Tsukishima looks to the window where the translucent curtains reveal how dark it is outside. Tsukishima wasn't sure why he is surprised, it was five in the morning, and the weather hasn't been great lately. He reaches over and turns the digital clock off, then returns to his previous position. After psyching himself up for way longer than needed, he sat up and threw his legs down to the floor.
The cold floor sends shockwaves through his body when his feet came into contact with it. He ambles towards the bathroom to brush his teeth and to make himself appear approachable. He walks back to his bed to pick up his glasses.
He really wants this job. Well, he doesn't want it so much as he needs it. Yamaguchi has been stressing over the boring desk job that he has, Tsukishima doesn't even want to think about how difficult dealing with a repetitive occupation like that would be for his lover. Tsukishima has been trying for every job that he could, but none were biting. His resume was impressive, he had a full ride for college because of his intelligence, and he participated in a few clubs here and there. However, he didn't do much with the community, and his degree was mostly useless for every job that he applied for, so there were and equal amount of reasons why he was rejected. In recent years, more and more people have been turning out to be intelligent and social. The full package. It was something that he couldn't compete with.
That aspect of being harsh and unsociable has been changing for the better recently, even if it has been against his choice. On good days, Yamaguchi would encourage Tsukishima to put himself out there more, and on bad days, Tsukishima would fight to keep the conversation going because he was afraid of what Yamaguchi would do in silence. It was always the other way around, but now Tsukishima knows how it feels to talk to a wall, and he felt horrible for Yamaguchi who has been doing it for him all of these years. Talking so often for Tsukishima was physically and mentally exhausting. It was something about their relationship that Tsukishima really liked, he liked that he could be silent with the other. It's a rare feat in the more recent days.
There was pity. Some nights, Yamaguchi would come home with puffy eyes from either tears or weed. He'd come home with wide, veiny, and fidgety eyes, he'd come home with nails bitten down to the skin, he'd come home with flakes of flesh falling from his chapped lips. Tsukishima pitied him because of all the strain, and he pitied him because it affected him so much.
But he was the one without a job.
There was pity on both ends. Yamaguchi was supporting the two of them by himself, and Tsukishima was going from interview to interview. The only thing that Tsukishima has done for money is substitute teaching at high schools, which wasn't something that he wanted to do that frequently. They needed the money fast. They have to make a lot of sacrifices to get by with living how they're living. They shower at the same time, they never turn on the lights, they order a large pizza on Monday and ration it amongst themselves until Friday.
Tsukishima got dressed into a dress shirt and tie. He pops some bread into the toaster for breakfast, he doesn't bother to put any butter or jam on it when it was done.
"Shit."
He should have brushed his teeth after he ate. He decided not to risk it, so he did it again. Nowhere in the house did he find his Yamaguchi, and it bewilders him because the man never goes to work that early in the morning. The fridge did look a little empty, so he could have possibly just went out grocery shopping.
Tsukishima finds a note on the counter next to the fridge after brushing his teeth for the second time. It was addressed to him and written by Yamaguchi, who had put the date next to his signed name. Tsukishima always thought that it was funny that the other would continue to date all of his written documents after school had already ended, but he supposes that it is still just as useful. Tsukishima missed the note from the day before, because the date wasn't the current one.
The other morning, Tsukishima had to deliver something to Yachi. She lived within walking distance of the apartment that Tsukishima and Yamaguchi inhabited, so he didn't take the car as to save gas. Also because he couldn't find his keys in the first place. He did the deed before Yamaguchi awoke, but when he got back, the door was locked. Tsukishima got in using the spare key under the doormat and went to sleep for the rest of the day.
He only just thought of the possibility that something wasn't right. He read the note.
“ it's cold outside.
i left your keys by the stove, i would have given them to you, but when i woke up this morning, you weren't there.
i think you had something to tell me,
but i'm sorry,
i can't wait for you at the train today. ”
Tsukishima doesn't smile this time. He frowns, because he knew that he couldn't have been at the train in the first place.