Chapter Text
“Make an incision, right there.” Shane pointed. Ilya looked at him horrified.
“Hollander, you know I can not do this.” He pleaded.
“Ilya, that guy will die. You’re saving his life.” Shane said calmly. “I can not stab man, Shane.” Ilya said in a low voice. He hated blood, it was not something he could stand seeing in person. How could he push a knife into someone? What was this horrid week!
“Listen, Ilya, you are just making a small hole for the air to escape. Ok?” Shane said in a soothing voice.
“So put the knife on that spot. Come on. I believe in you.” Shane said again.
“Oh god. You are sure, malysh?” Ilya asked. “I think I am a doctor. You found a profile called Dr. Shane Hollander right? How else would I know this?” Shane tried reasoning.
“Now, pick up the knife Ilya. Put it there.” Shane pointed again to the waiter’s chest.
Ilya lightly touched the knife to the body. “Ilya, baby you have to push a little harder.”
“A little more, come on, you can do this.” Shane kept saying in a calm voice. He was pretty sure this was some kind of Lamaze training he’d had for pregnant women, but it seemed to be helping Ilya so he kept at it.
“You are so strong. You are doing wonderfully.” Shane repeated. Ilya managed to cut into the waiter’s chest, a little blood came out.
Ilya tried to not faint or throw up. “Ok, that’s good. That’s very good. Now take out the top of the bottle, and put it on the hole. Now Ilya! Do it now!” Shane yelled a bit, because time was running out.
Ilya removed the pourer and put it on the incision he’d made. A puff of air released and was heard.
“He's breathing. He's breathing!” the manager yelled joyfully.
“I'm a doctor. I knew it!” Shane exclaimed. “I'm a doctor!” Ilya lied to the restaurant, who were all looking at him in shock, many had their phones out.
“Thank God. The ambulance will be here right away.” The manager said.
“Ask if St Matthew’s is the nearest hospital from here.” Shane instructed.
“Do you know where the nearest hospital is?” Ilya asked the manager. He confirmed it was St Matthew’s so that is where they headed next.
“I may have been a home-wrecking slut, but I saved lives.” Shane smiled, thinking that. He knew he couldn’t be a horrible person. Not totally right?
“Hollander, that was insane. I have never saved life before.” Ilya said feeling very light headed.
“It's the best! One minute you're looking at this monitor, and someone is about to die but then BANG! You bring them back.” Shane babbled, oblivious to Ilya looking a bit faint.
“What is this?” Ilya wondered, seeing a flick of red on his finger. “Oh that’s just a little blood.” Shane said non chalantly. “BLOOD?!?!?” Ilya exclaimed and then fainted.
“Ilya?!” Shane screamed seeing Ilya faint. Luckily Ilya’s fainting spell lasted only a minute. “Are you ok? Did you hit your head?” Shane asked crouching down. “I…I think I am ok. Is fine, Malysh.” Ilya said gently. Shane’s concern touched him. It made him feel cared for. Something he hadn’t felt in a while.
As soon as they entered the hospital, all the memories came flooding back into Shane’s mind. “ILYA! I work here! I remember now!” he squealed.
“You sure, Shanya?” Ilya asked.
“The receptionist, her name is Amita. It's all coming back to me now. There's JJ and Hayden. and Michael and...” Shane kept talking. Ilya went to the receptionist and asked about Shane. “Shane? Shane Hollander? Please wait a minute.” The receptionist said, tearing up a bit.
Few minutes later, Hayden came to meet him. “Hi, Dr. Hayden Pike. I was, am Shane’s best friend and colleague. And you are?” he asked Ilya, evaluating him.
“Ilya Rozanov. Could you tell me what happened to him?” he asked cautiously. “Yes, Hayden will know. He’s my dear friend. Oh Ilya! That address was his! It was 256 not 255. He has four kids….” Shane kept talking while Ilya ignored him.
“ I need to know your relationship with him.” Hayden asked, skeptically looking at Ilya. “I was….his lover.” Ilya said finally. “Ew, Ilya no! Say boyfriend” Shane replied. “I mean, boyfriend.” Ilya corrected, blushing a little. The idea of being Shane’s lover/boyfriend was making him feel a lot of things. Things he’d never felt before.
“Seriously? He never told me about you. And I know everything about him.” Hayden said a bit rudely.
“See, he was a workaholic, his whole life was this hospital. How could he have even met you?” Hayden asked. “Um yes, it was recent. I live in his apartment…..building. I live in his apartment building. Plus, he is you know, shy kotik. I am his uh first. He did not want to tell anyone yet.” Ilya prattled on.
Shane looked at him surprised. “How did you know I haven’t had a boyfriend?” he asked.
When Hayden turned, “Is easy to guess Hollander. I see you check me out in shower and blush like virgin bride.” Ilya said, winking in his direction. A nurse saw, and thought Ilya winked at her, she blushed and giggled.
Oh Jesus. Shane rolled his eyes but he knew he was blushing again.
“So, you don't know about the accident?” Hayden turned around and asked. He had a chart in his hand, it had Shane’s name on it. Shane knew instantly what it meant. Shane was a patient here. In the very hospital he’d worked at.
“Accident?” Ilya asked, wanting to know more. “Oh Ilya, I remember it now. I was changing the radio and…” Shane trailed off.
“It was awful, it was three months ago. How come you’re coming here now, after all this time?” Hayden said, walking in the direction of a room. Ilya followed. “I was um away. I am Russian, had gone home for some work and Shanya…Shane did not tell anyone about me so I did not know whom to ask.” Ilya lied.
They approached a room, and Ilya’s breath got caught. There was Shane, or rather Shane’s body. He looked so different, smaller. There were all kinds of tubes around him, one inside his mouth, helping him breathe. “Oh moy angel, what happened?” Ilya thought, realising he teared up a bit. This was Shane, the real Shane. He looked so perfect, he didn't look injured at all. Except that he wasn't awake.
Hayden noticed, and it must have led him to believe Ilya. “Mr. Rozanov I can give you a few minutes, but after that I have rounds and I can’t leave you here by yourself for too long.” He said apologetically. Ilya nodded.
“It's you, it's really you, Shanya. You're... you're not dead, you're alive.” Ilya said, his voice a bit throaty.
“I know, Ilya, but I'm in a coma. This is not good.” Shane said, reading his chart and the machines. He knew what this meant. There hadn’t been much activity in his body in weeks. The room was filled with balloons, and cards and a few photos. “Oh, my photo from my nightstand.” Shane pointed, it was an adorable picture of him and Rose, drunk of their asses. “Rose must have brought it here.”
“Shanya, see you do not have scars. You will be ok?” Ilya asked, bringing Shane back to the problem at hand. “You look handsome, kotik.” Ilya said, lightly tracing Shane’s freckles with his hand. Wow, he was finally touching him. Touching those beautiful freckles of his. It felt incredible.
“Ilya! I felt that. Do it again!” Shane said excitedly. He felt Ilya’s warm hand on his cheek. It made him feel all tingly inside. Ilya was touching him, and he could feel it. Amazing.
“But you know Ilya, three months, that's a persistent coma.” Shane replied, remembering how much time had past. “We are here now, maybe you can you know… get into body.” Ilya gestured, snapping his hands together.
“Maybe I should try this.” Shane lay down inside his body. This is how he’d taken control of Ilya’s body, maybe it would work here. Sadly, it didn’t.
They tried a few times, but Shane’s spirit just wouldn’t go into his body.
“Ugh! Ilya what is this! It’s like I am not connected to my body at all!” Shane grumbled.
Ilya stroked his hair a bit. “Did you feel this?” he asked. “Yes, I did.” Shane replied quietly. “You are connected to body Shanya.”
“Monitor doesn’t agree with you.” Shane pointed out. This was something he understood. Medicine, machines, charts. This was his territory.
This paranormal experience, relationships………sex. Those things were not his forte.
“Machines do not know everything, malysh.” Ilya said gently. “Everything in my training tells me they do.” Shane said a bit sadly.
“Then how am I speaking with you?” Ilya countered. He had a point.
“I don't know.” Shane admitted. This whole thing was so confusing. On multiple levels.
“Mr. Rozanov? I'm sorry. I have an appointment, and I can't leave you here unattended.” Hayden said, entering the room again.
“Few more minutes, please Pike? I am saying goodbye.” Ilya sounded emotional. Shane wondered if this was an act for Hayden or it was real. Did Ilya really feel emotional looking at Shane? The way he’d stroked his cheeks, Hayden hadn’t been around for that. You don’t just do that for anyone, right? Right?
“Of course.” Hayden agreed and left.
“This is great photo, Shane. You look great. Like actual human person and not medicine robot.” Ilya joked, as he picked up the photo of Shane and Rose.
“Look at me now.” Shane joked. “My levels are decreasing.”
“Shanya, I have to leave soon.” Ilya reminded him. Time was running out.
“Shall I wait downstairs?” Ilya asked him. He didn’t feel like leaving at all. If anything, he wanted to stay here, spend the night. He felt like he could spend the whole night staring at Shane’s face. Count the freckles, take in his features. How had he not noticed just how gorgeous he was before? Probably, because he never shuts up, Ilya thought smirking a bit.
“No, no, that's sweet. But you should go. Thank you for helping me.” Shane replied. He didn’t want Ilya to leave, but he couldn’t leave his body now that he finally found it. Not yet.
“Are you sure you will not come with me?” Ilya asked again. Why did he care? He wanted to get rid of the ghost in his apartment right? And now he was willingly offering for him to come back? What even.
“After all, is your apartment.” Ilya joked. Shane smiled cutely at him. Ilya felt like kissing him. If only he could.
“ It's fine. I can’t leave myself here. Not now.” He tried explaining.
“It just feels weird leaving you.” Ilya admitted. What he didn’t say is how his heart was hurting at the thought of Shane’s ghost roaming around this hospital alone. Or how he wished Shane would have woken up in his body.
“I don't know where else I belong. It’s ok. Bye Ilya.” Shane said softly.
“Goodbye Shane.” Ilya said looking at Shane’s body and then at his ghost. And then he was gone. Why did it hurt Shane to watch him leave?
Once Ilya was gone, Shane just wandered around the hospital. He overheard JJ and Hayden talking.
“Oh, I hate this. This is so unfair. Shane finally found someone and then…” Hayden was telling JJ. Who nodded. “I know. Calisse! And that guy was so cute.” JJ exclaimed. “I hope he had a chance to at least ride that man before the accident.” He joked.
Oh I wish I had JJ, Shane thought. Wait what?! Ride Ilya? Oh god, Shane’s thoughts were turning impure again.
He wandered into what would have been his office. He saw Comeau in there. “Guess you got my job huh?” he told the man who couldn’t hear him. Comeau was just talking on the phone, oblivious to him being needed on the floor.
“Yeah. I think I've earned it. I deserve it.” He was telling someone.
“You know there are people dying out there? Do something?” Shane said frustrated at the man.
“Hold on man, it’s Webber.” Comeau told whoever he was speaking to. “Hi Dr. Webber. Oh I have to do that? Ok sure.”
Do what? Shane wondered. How could they give the job to him?
That’s when he heard the sound of giggles. Familiar sounds.
“Zoe? Lily?” he yelled, so happy to see Rose’s daughters. The girls ran to Shane’s room. Shane ran behind them.
“Babies! You got so big!!!” he said happily. Wishing he could hug his god kids.
The girls were arguing about something, but Shane was just delighted to hear their voices again. Wait, he noticed the girls were touching his hands. And Shane felt nothing.
“Why could I feel Ilya and not you guys?” he asked out loud. But of course no one could hear him. Just then, Rose walked in. “Girls, I told you not to run here. Hi Shanebug.” Rose said, stroking Shane’s hair a bit sadly.
Shane couldn’t feel that either. He tried touching Rose’s shoulder. His hand went through it. “Rose, can you feel me?” he tried asking. But Rose couldn’t hear, see or feel him. What a nightmare.
“I guess not.” Shane said sadly. It made him miss Ilya.
“Mrs. Landry, hi. Dr Comeau.” Comeau said walking in. “Hi?” Rose answered, looking at him suspiciously.
“Could I have a quick word?” Comeau asked. “Sure. Tell me.” Rose replied.
First of all, I hope you know how much we all love and miss Shane.” Comeau started, his voice dripping with fake sweetness. “Oh please, you are loving this, you asshole!” Shane yelled.
“Because he was a senior resident here, we've taken some extraordinary measures to make her feel more comfortable these last three months. We all sign waivers when we join. Do you know Shane’s thoughts on prolonging his life?” Comeau asked. “Um no, we actually didn’t discuss it.” Rose replied, sniffling a bit.
“He was against it.” Comeau said. Which wasn’t a lie. Shane hadn’t wanted to be a vegetable on life support forever. But how was he to know at the time that he’d become a ghost that only one sexy Russian man could see?
“Really?” Rose asked, her eyes widened a bit. “OK, that was before. I am completely for it now. Rose, please.” Shane begged.
“Honestly, most in our profession feel that way.” Comeau continued. Shane had a feeling he knew where this was going.
Come on, Rose! You have got to feel me! You’re my medical proxy, and like my sister!” Shane yelled in desperation next to the oblivious Rose.
“But there's still some brain activity, isn't there?” Rose asked cautiously. The girls were playing with Shane’s bed. “Girls, stop it or there will be no ipad time for you!” Rose yelled at them.
“People have woken up from this kind of coma, right?” Rose said, bringing up some Google searches. Comeau’s face tightened. “Mrs. Landry those are extraordinary cases and are very rare.”
“Uh hello! Extraordinary case right here, you jackass!” Shane yelled in Comeau’s ear.
“Mrs. Landry, we need you to sign a terminal action form. We of course will not do anything without your approval.” Comeau said, showing Rose the form.
He wanted to pull the plug on Shane. Then Shane really would die.
Fuck.