Chapter Text
They faded in and out of sleep, at first it was talking, then back asleep. The second time it was an embrace, then they returned to unconsciousness. This time they felt a jagged sway, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, over and over. It was warm, but when they pressed their face into the warmth it didn’t make them feel much better, it did make the swaying stop for a moment. Whatever it was, it smelled familiar, like a lake or river on a summer day. They liked it.
Avid awoke to a soft jingle of bells and a quiet, sweet muttering. There was something warm next to him and something cold on his forehead. He didn’t quite understand why the cold felt better than the warmth when he internally felt cold. Although he was never the smartest, and the sleepiness certainly didn't help him at the moment.
He slowly pried his eyes open into a squint and turned his head to the gentle noise. A white blob was swaying back and forth and singing a soft prayer, bells clutched in their hands jingling just as soft. He opened his eyes further and began to recognize the red ribbon wrapped around her arm, the three bells softly swaying, the plush hair that bounced with each movement, and the quiet, gentle voice of Gracie.
Right, Water had said something about Gracie caring for Avid, hopefully she isn't inconvenienced by their bad day yesterday. Was it yesterday? They had no idea how long they'd been asleep, they still felt drained so surely it hadn't been that long.
They shifted their head a little again and they became aware of the ache still present all over their body, shooting through their veins and stabbing into their head. Still, despite this pain they wanted to see what the warmth next to them was.
The first thing he saw was brown hair by his shoulder, and then the curled up form of Marm, face hidden, despite her facing him, by her bed head. Avid could feel her hugging his arm, a warm feeling spread across him, all fuzzy and welcome.
Despite the shooting pain in his neck, he tilted his head to rest it against Marms. He felt her jolt a bit, then she was sitting up next to him and pushing the hair out of her face. “Oh, Avid! We were so worried!” She fussed over him, removing the cool towel and feeling his forehead with the back of her hand. “How are you feeling now?” She spoke calmly and with a quiet concern.
Gracie, on the other hand, was quite distraught.
“Oh Avid it scared me so much when Water came into my room carrying you and you were limp! He told me you just passed out randomly and he told me y-you had a fever and- and then he carried you down into your room and told me to look after you and then apparently he told Marm who rushed over here as quickly as possible and now we're taking turns watching you! oh I'm so happy you're awake! That was really scary!” Gracie rambled and ended it with a whimper, and honestly Avid only caught bits and pieces, enough to get the vague story but they just couldn't keep up with Gracie right now. “I'm sure it was very frightening, Sheepie.” Their voice sounded hoarse and sickly.
They began to sit up and waves of electric pain shot up their spine and arms, but they needed to sit, who would Avid be if they couldn't even sit up? A weak person, that's who they'd be.
Unfortunately for Avid's pride, a slight twitch of their nose gave away their struggle and Marm's firm hand landed on their chest and pushed them back down, “if you're not feeling well you need to stay in bed and not push yourself!” She scolded them.
Avid laughed it off. The push had irritated their broken rib, and they really wished it had hurt in a good way, but it just added to his ache and pain. “Avid this isn't funny! You passed out! Water had to carry you!” Marm yelled at them again, her voice high in frustration. When Avid giggled she stood with a sigh, straightened out her rumpled dress and quickly finger comped her hair, then left the room.
“Hey! Where are you going?” They asked, a little surprised that she of all people would Storm off. “I have to go take care of our dragons, Killie isn't doing much better than you,” she said as she briskly walked away.
Gracie began to follow and before Avid could even ask where she was going she began her rambling explanation, “Legs asked if I could help him with something in the resource world earlier, he didn't tell me what he needs help with but I'm meant to help people and I made this promise before you passed out and I hate to just leave you here but-”
“It's ok,” Avid cut her off. “I'll just be laying here anyway. Have fun in the resource world.” He smiled, and she smiled warmly back at him before turning and hopping away.
Avid waited about a minute before starting the process of sitting up. His spine was electrocuting him, his rip was stabbing him, and his arms felt weak. He was sitting now, and it was his lower backs turn to ache and electrocute.
Still, he pushed through the pain and slowly dragged his legs off the side of the bed. His knees cracked when he stood, but they didn't buckle like he feared they would. Each step felt like his shin was cracking, like his muscles were tearing, but still, he walked and he made it down his little set of stairs and to the mirror.
He grabbed the bottom of his shirts and took them off. His broken rib had a dark purple bruise on it that looked relatively fresh, meaning he definitely broke it recently, but he still couldn't remember how or exactly when. The rest of his torso was covered in bruises from his fight with Water. He could only vaguely remember the fight, he's pretty sure he was the one losing that time. How pathetic.
The cuts on his arm still looked irritated, but healthier now. He thought about grabbing his knife and testing if that pain hurt as well, but he decided it wasn't worth the risk.
He heard his door open and turned to see his favorite hater, Water. “Marm said you were up, I didn't think she meant up and about!” They said as they approached him, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. “I'm going to kill you! You scared the shit out of me!”
The world was spinning, his rib stabbed him, and Waters' voice hammered into his head. He must've made some sign of discomfort because Water immediately stopped shaking him and instead just held his shoulders.
Water took a deep breath before he spoke in a more collected tone, “don't do that again.” Avid rolled their eyes, why would Water care? “Oh yeah, like I can control when I pass out,” they scoffed. “That's not what I meant.” Avid looked up at Water and finally got a good look at his face. Water had dark circles under his eyes, he looked paler than usual, and like he might cry. They didn't understand how someone so stoic and cold could become so disheveled. It wasn't even the fun, hot disheveled that Avid wanted to see.
It just made them feel guilty.
“I don't want you to hurt yourself like that again, to push yourself past your limits again. There is no way you need that many cuts to perform your magic!”
Avid had bad news for Water. “That's why my magic is so powerful! And cool! It's because I put so much of my own energy into it!”
Water's face managed to look even more horrified, his eyebrows furrowed, tears welled up in his eyes, and his voice rose a little, “don't do that man! That's so bad for you!” His hands slid from their shoulders, up their neck, and landed on either side of their face. “Promise me you won't do that anymore.”
Avid didn't like seeing them cry, he realized it as soon as Water began to even slightly tear up. “I… I can't just not do it, it's how I use my magic.” he tried to argue. “So don't use your magic! You got by without it before, you can go back!” They shot down that line of conversation quickly.
Avid didn't know how to tell Water it wasn't only about his magic. He needed to cut himself, he deserved it for being royal, it gave him control over his body, and it was a reminder that he could feel. He needed those red lines just as much as he needed air.
The two of them sat in silence for a long moment, the air heavy as they just stared at each other, taking in each twist of the next expression and trying to make sense of any hidden emotions that might slip through.
Avid was sure his face gave away too much, but he couldn't put his mask on due to Waters' hands on his face. Sure, he could move them, but honestly? He really needed the physical contact to stay grounded. “Please? I won't even ask you to stop completely, just keep it to a minimal. I can't let you maim yourself like that just for the sake of magic,” they were quiet now, voice dropping down to a whisper. Avid wondered if they were like this to Marm whenever she did something self destructive or stupid.
“Pain's my thing, it's not just about magic, I like pain-” he began before Water was yelling at and shaking him again. “I'm not a fucking idiot! I know you have a death wish! I know you want to die! I don't want you to die, Avid!” They shouted in his face.
The shooting pain returned in his chest and he gasped quietly, hugging his ribs. Next came his legs, starting in his knees and burning out, they trembled for a moment before giving out on him. He crumpled into Water.
“What's wrong? Avid?” Water sounded concerned as they held him, but Avid could not respond, only shake and choke down sobs of “painful” pain. It wasn't even like the pain wasn't the good pain, it was just too much of a good thing. Too much of anything overwhelmed Avid and made it a bad thing. He reached for his mask and slipped it over his face, even though it was currently hidden by his hunched posture and Water holding him.