Chapter Text
With the ceremony over, it was now time for what everyone had been waiting for. They all headed to a nearby Dark Forest mansion
The grooms made their great entrance to the dancing hall, Verity now taking his humanoid Tumblr sexyman form and wearing a more comfortable white dress that was 40 sizes smaller. They danced. It was very romantic, I guess. Guys im writing gay Minecraft YouTuber fanfiction. Do I look like I've ever romantically danced with anyone?
Lookout was STILL wearing that fuckass hat by the way. Everyone wondered how low the bar had to be for that to be acceptable to Verity.
As they danced, slippery, melancholically, watched them from the crowd, BBC Sherlock-style. Alexa Play good luck babe. Alexa, can you hear me? Alexa.
Verity insisted he should have the parents dance with that mob since he was TECHNICALLY his creator, but everyone told him that it would be very uncomfortable and bring way too many questions to the table. Also, everyone had agreed it was useless to give any speeches since they all had their attention span fried from watching YT shorts and would fall asleep in an instant. So after throwing the flower bucket, which hit falsity right in the face by the way (congrats xqree ig), the party was finally ready to start!
Everyone danced like they were in the ending of the average Illumination movie.
Slippery was hitting the griddy when Freaky Verity (now Verity3D) (yes, 3D is his last name here) approached him sneakily.
"They are here." He said with no explanation.
"Who is here?"
"THEY!"
"Them energy?"
"What...? No! They are here to get my husband!" Verity whispered.
"THE STINKY OILED UP HORSE?! You mean... SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN?!"
"Yes, and it's not only him. I Saw whispys body in the hall with the hoof prints when I went out to go to the bathroom."
"Wait, you go to the bathroom-? I have so many questions."
"The important thing is, they have been following us for months. The visitor, the fiberglass Monster, I've been keeping it secret from him for a long time. I didn't want him to go all psycho like he usually does- though I DO love it when he's all violent and he looks SO hot with his gun and it's really sexy when he-"
"FOCUS YELLOW FUCK."
"Right- so I knew our wedding was the perfect time to take vengeance. So I told little Jimmy to follow you into that cave."
"Wait, you told YOUR 11-YEAR-OLD STEPSON to go TO THE TORTURE DEATH EVIL CAVE?"
"WELL HE WASN'T THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WASN'T HE?!"
Slippery sighed.
"Well, what ARE WE supposed to do?"
"I have the verities and the others guarding every entrance. They are all pretty powerful, especially in their final forms, but that Horse is what im worried about the most. I've never met another entity that can see through spectator mode- and god knows who their leader is." The groom said. "Look, ja- I mean, slippery, I know we don't get along, but we both want to see Lookout Happy, right?"
"OF COURSE I WANT MY BOY LOOKOUT TO BE HAPPY! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?
"Right, so I need you to look around for anything suspicious. I'll make sure he is distracted."
Slippery tough about it... Did he love Lookout more than he hated Verity? More importantly, did he love Lookout more than he loved pots?
"Hmmm... All right, I Guess, ill help you, smelly bouncy balls."
"Great. Its a deal, the-"
Suddenly, Someone grabbed Verity by the waist.
"Hey baby." Said lookout.
GOD. How long had he been there?
"Hi baby!!" Responded both verity and slippery.
The three went silent, staring at each other. Despacito played in the background.
Lookout smiled uncomfortably.
"What were you guys talking about?"
"Just, stuff- about-"
"Sponge Bob Yaoi," Slippery said confidently.
"Ayo...?" Lookout took a sip of his wine."Okay. By the way, have any of you guys seen Whispy? I haven't seen him in a while ."
"NOPE!" They both said in unison.
"I think he left before the ceremony." Started slippery.
"That kinda sucks, but alright, I guess."
Verity looked at the furry and remembered their plan. He grabbed his husband by his tie and pulled him closer.
"Heyy, Lookout~ so... Now that we have some time... Why don't we go have some fun... Just the two of us~" He breathed into his neck.
Can you belive this is the first time I use "~" in a fic? I just felt a part of my soul being taken by the devil.
Lookout felt his face go red. Slippery didint know whether to tear his eyes or ears out first.
"Nah, you freaky ahh- can't you wait till we are home?"
Verity smiled in that creepy threatening way. He held his tie harder, almost choking him.
"NOPE! I WANT YOU RIGHT NOW."
"Okay- OKAY- I'll see you later, slippery- LETS GOO."
And just like that, the two freaks were gone.
Slippery grabbed a torch from the wall and started roaming the halls of the building.
"UGH! I HATE THAT BALL!!" He began, "HE GETS TO MAKE OUT WITH A HOT GUY WHILE IM OVER HERE PLAYING GHOSTBUSTERS?! That punk... Not cool, man."
He sat down on the wooden floor, the torch only illuminating some blocks around him. He started fantasizing about trapping Verity in an obsidian room with a warden and a wooden pickaxe as he made shadows with his paws.
MAN THAT WAS SO BORING. He considered going back there and dancing with the others when he saw a large shadow Next to him, followed by the sound of millions of squeaks and chattering and grinding of small teeth.
He yelled as high as his lungs allowed him. THEY WERE BACK! IT WAS HAPPENING!
"THE RATS ARE COMINGGGG!!!"
The gigantic mass of rodents pounced on him, then started following through the infinite halls and rooms Looney Tunes style. Slippery was starting to lose his breath when he saw a staircase and knew that was his chance. He quickly went Up and grabbed a conveniently placed piano, then threw it downstairs
He heard a loud, painful chirp and hoped that meant It had hit them. He hid behind a wall, feeling seconds away from a heart attack.
Suddenly, he felt a presence at the end of the hall.
He jumped, then realised It was just Lovity in her humanoid form.
"Slippery! Come with me; we've tapped something!" She said in a rush.
He followed Lovity to the treasure room with no hesitation to meet the other two verities. A big rocky structure had been built in the middle, trapping something inside that was oddly still.
"How did you have time to build that?" Slippery asked.
"W a i t." A familiar breathy voice said from the inside of the trap. "S L I P P E R Y I S T H A T Y O U?"
"YOO, CHILL guy? What are you doing here?"
"I m h e r e T o w a r n y o u."
"Why? Hasn't lookout slimed you out like 81821 TIMES?"
"I m j u s t a c h i l l g u y b r o <3"
"Ah, of course! What do you want to warn us about, chill guy?"
"T h e l e a d e r H e I s h e r e H e w i l l e n d l o o k o u t a n d e v e r y o n e i n t h e w e d d i n g. A n d w h e n h e i s d o n e, h e d e l e t e v e r i t y a n d
c o m e f o r h i m i n r e a l l i f e."
Everyone gasped. No one had considered the extent of the mob's vengeance.
"Don't worry, Lookout will defeat him with his Mr Beast sludgy poop treasure powers!"
"With the what?" Og verity asked.
"The treasure me and Lookout found poop town in Oh my pc adventures! That's how we met; he got me out of Jail! We also met Jimmy and Steve! We MURDERED Jimmy's dad!" Slippery said proudly.
"You did WHAT?!"
"Yeah, maybe that WASN'T the Best thing ever; we had fun, though!"
"Man, That Guy was weird before Verity...but those powers work in real life?"
"... I mean... Probably not."
"Then we need a better plan. Im sorry, but we cant keep this hidden anymore. We must tell everyone the wedding is over."
"But Lookout will be so sad!"
"It's either that or his Life."
Slippery sighed. It seemed like all of the efforts he had made were going to be in vain.
"... Alrighty, I'll find the husbands and give them the news."
" G o o d l u c k S l i p p e r y."
"Thank you, CHILL guy! OH BOY WE ARE GOING TO END THIS WEDDING!"
"We'll go after you to tell the others. Good luck, slippery."
BYE, GUYS!" He said enthusiastically
He sneakily walked back downstairs, walking through the bodies of the rats he had killed and making sure no other creatures were following him. He reached the main hall where everyone was still chill and dancing and drinking
He got near Grox and Froggy, who were taking turns hitting a villager with a bat like a piñata.
"HEY GUYS. Have any of you seen the stupid freaky grooms?"
Grox passed the bat to his friend. The villager screamed in pain.
"I think I saw them enter the dressing room in that hall right there." He pointed.
"Okay, thank you, SEXY DARK ALPHA DADDY skeleton."
"Alright, bettt."
As he walked through the people, he realised some of them were already there. He noticed the Farlands Monster hiding amongst the crowd. That thing had taken them ages to defeat! There was nothing they could do but run and hide.
He ran into the hall and almost kicked down the dressing room door.
Grox was right; Verity and Lookout were inside the room, on the floor with their clothes barely on and French kissing with a little bit of Germany.
"OH MY GOD GUYS, can you keep your hands off each other FOR FIVE MINUTES?" Slippery cried out.
They both pulled away and jumped off each other in surprise. Verity seemed the most startled of the two.
"Slippery? Is it time to cut the cake already?" asked Lookout, buttoning his vest.
"NO, IT'S NOT, LOOKOUT. WE AREN'T CUTTING NO CAKE TODAY; HE IS HERE!! SOMETHINGS GONNA HAPPEN!!'
"Who is here?" asked Lookout, extremely confused.
"Their leader is here?!"
Suddenly, they heard loud, high-pitched screams coming from the main hall. It was already too late.
Verity grabbed his husbands hand and followed Slippery to the main room.
The sight was like nothing they had seen before: plates and glasses were shattered on the floor, guests where strugguling against hundreds of horrid creatures, from Peppa Pig to the sludginator and the visitor. Some of the bravest had already fallen víctims of them. Blood was splattered everywhere, and evreything had been destroyed.
"Oh, no no no no... This cant be HAPPENING! I tried to prevent this- I-" Verity sobbed.
Lookout faced his husband.
"Dude, you knew this was going to happen?"
Fuck. He didint know what to say. What excuse could be made?
"I mean-" he took a Deep breath. "Yes... we all knew."
"Slippery, you too?" He nodded. " And why didint you tell me?!"
Verity, this is so sad; play bachata.
"We didint want to ruin your special day!" Said the groom.
"It was OUR special day, man! We could have prevented this!"
He dodged a flying table.
"Im sorry... Please don't hate me..."
"Dude, I don't hate you- I can't hate you." He cupped his rounded head into his hands. " I love you."
Verity laughed
"I know you do."
Ew.
"Of course... You know evreything.
Insert aliens holding hands in a hayfield picture.
"Awww... That is SO FREAKING STUPID STINKY FUCKING- Cute guys! CAN WE START FIGHTING THESE GUYS NOW?!"
"OH, yeah, right."
Lookout got his Mr Beast sludy poop treasure gun (FUCK, why did he call It that) and ran into the crowd. The other two did the same.
Slippery chomped the arm off the demonic pig and hit him with his pot as Verity stabbed the visitor with his heel. Thatmob and Twixxel beat the shit out of the sludginator. Grox and Froggy were having a fun time torturing all the bros and probably were too wine drunk to realise the Gravity of the situation.
I don't know what orangeboi would be doing in this situation. Come on guys, I cant watch EVERY Minecraft YouTuber.
Of course, entities like Larry, Steve, Grousome Steve, and Slippery's Sensei were doing most of the work against the more powerful creatures like the fiberglass Monster, but the YouTuber's will to fight was impressive to say the least.
The three other varieties came down and joined the fight in their final forms.
Little Jimmy, trying his best to help his parents, saw a familiar face amongst the crowd. Could It be? It was!
His father, his true father that had been murdered years ago, the mayor of poop town, was right there in front of him. As soon as they crossed gazes, Jimmy's face was full of tears. He dropped his diamond sword and ran to embrace his true parent. The man instantly recognized his face, and immediately forgot every single goal of vénganze and feeling of rage he had felt within him. Instead, he felt the warmth of his precious son's arms around him, the only thing he had thought about as he choked in his own Blood, and the only thing he had missed this entire time.
He remembered all the times Lookout had accidentally and purposely killed him and hurt him. That time he left him on the Moon, that time he left to get some milk... Despite the fun times, he had been the most horrible, cruel man in his life.
But, as he hugged his father in the middle of that bloody battle, he realised that wasn't how it was meant to be, was it? It was all an illusion; things could never go back to how they were.
He grabbed a shard of glass from the floor, and, in the most painful hand movement in his life, stabbed him, right in the heart.
"BOOOM!! GONEEE. GONEEE!!!" Lookout laughed maniacally. "Great job, little Jimmy! Who even was that Guy?"
The kid wiped the string of tears off his face.
"No one..." He whispered.
Anyways!
When Reff summoned his army of enslaved villagers, they all thought they were winning that fight. But something wasn't quite right. Suddenly, the celling started shaking violently as if there was an earthquake. But they all knew Damm well that wasnt possible..
In a second, the entire second floor went flying off. Even the Evil entities looked up in surprise at the event. The Moon, with a mischievous look on his face, started violently shooting lasers to the guests.
This caught them all by surprise. The warden was hit by a Beam and fell dead to the ground, so did Larry and Froggy.
Slippery chickened out and hid under a table, watching the Battle change completely and his Friends dying before his eyes.
"STOP."
A voice spoke like It was omnipresent, and suddenly, evreything went silent.
The horse appeared in the middle of the room as it teleported. But they all knew it wasnt the one that spoke. It was only announcing his arrival
Every creature bowed in unison to their leader.
A Beam of light appeared behind the animal, followed by a cloud of smoke. When the smoke dissipated... Only a box appeared. Something moved inside it, and everyone knew what It was. The Horse turned around and opened it.
"Hello there! Im freakity, your personal freak assistant!"
BOOM. BET YOU DIDINT EXPECT THAT. Im kidding; you probably did.
"FREAKITY?!" Lookout and Verity yelled.
The ball laughed maniacally. His Bones craked and twisted as he changed into his humanoid form.
AND HE WAS EMO!!
"Long time no see!" He began, getting near them. "I missed you, dads..."
No one freaking gasped.
"Freakity! What are you doing here? I thought you went back into my bouncer!"
"Well, if you really want to know. When your husband here saved you from the virus, our files were separated, leaving me floating around on his computer... Until I found your files... as I traveled through them... I could only find tortures and destroyed entities, all forgotten by you. So... I started uploading them to your Minecraft worlds and recruited them for my army, all for vengeance... All for this day! And now, when Im done with you two, I will come and get you... IN REAL LIFE!"
chan chan chan channnn. Kill him in real life? Oh, that was serious now.
"Freakity, why are you doing this dude?!"
"All I wanted was to play! And you treated me like garbage. You treated ALL of us like garbage. Why? All I wanted was love, so did my friend here." He brushed the animal's mane. "And not only did you not have the decency to love us, but you also wanted to GET RID OF US."
BOOM shakalaka.
Sorry, it was getting too serious.
Pretty sure the rest of the Evil gang didint know it was that Deep.
"Man, SHUT YOUR CORNY ASS UP. If you two loved me SOOO MUCH, you wouldn't have threatened me and tried to kill me to make me stay!"
Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Lol.
"I WAS YOUR SON! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME, I WAS A CHILD." Freakity cried out.
"Im sorry abortion isn't legal in the state of Minecraft!"
The kid breathed heavily.
" Do you have any idea how much you've hurt ALL of us? You are both MONSTERS. No, you know what? ALL OF YOU ARE ENSLAVING, TORTURING, KILLING. YOU DESERVE ALL THE PAIN IN THE WORLD. And we will make sure you feel that pain."
"FREAKITY HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE GUYS?! they are all like 10 times worse than me!"
"Yeah, they are all stinky poopy dipers!" Said... We all know who said that.
"Do i LOOK like I care what they've done to others? When have you ever cared for what they felt? For that I felt?"
And with the snap of his fingers, every creature pounced over them. Verity, seeing no other escape, decided to do something he promised he would never do again.
"Wait! Freakity, my son!" He yelled.
Against all odds, Freakity actually made the angry mob stop.
Lookout side-eyed his husband; he winked. Ohhh right.
"What do you want?"
'I- im sorry. Okay? In all this time that has passed, we've spent it learning together, and slowly realising and regretting all of those horrible things we've done. We should have treated you better. We were horrible parents, and im so sorry about that. I now realise- all you ever needed was some love; we can give you that! There is still time, isn't it?"
They both extended their arms.
"Please, let us love you..."
Freakity stayed silent, tried to stay indifferent, but he couldn't hide the tears in his eyes.
He transformed back into his ball form and rolled into his parents' arms, sobbing and crying loudly.
"Im sorry, im sorry!" He sniffed."I love you, dads! Oh god... I've waited so long for this. "
Lookout looked at the Horse.
"You too, man!"
The Horse trotted towards them and wrapped its long neck around the three.
Slippery also joined the Hug because why not.
Verity pulled away and cleaned the tears off his son's eyes.
"It's okay, we are together now." He said sincerely.
Im sorry for all the harm we have caused you all. I hope you can forgive us," apologized Lookout, an arm around his child.
Everyone still alive aww'ed.
Damn, the power of forgiveness and love and Friendship really was strong.
"I..." Freakity sniffed. "As much as I would like to stay... I don't think I can."
"What?!" The three said.
"We will build a kingdom, far, far away! On Terraria." He jumped on top of the Horse. "And we will all live in peace and become better people, just like you guys have. I will follow your steps."
"That's wonderful, honey!" said Verity. "Take care, okay?"
"I will miss you, dads."
"We'll miss you too, son!" Said lookout.
Freakity gave them one last smile before turning around.
"Lets go, guys!"
And they all flew into the Rainbow because gay rights are human rights.
"Welp! Half of our Friends are dead now," said Slippery once they were gone
"Well... This is Minecraft, dude, they'll respawn."
"Oh, yeah, right! I love video Game logic!"
Everyone stayed silent, staring at the dead bodies, Blood and shattered glass on the floor.
Worst. wedding. ever.
"Thank god he left, because I really didint want to pay child support." said Verity to his husband.
"Yeah. The important part is that, at the end of the day, we all learned a very important lesson. And that is that we should love and respect one another and that forgiveness is the most powerful weapon of them all!"
"Oh Lookout, that is so sweet! You really mean that?" asked Slippery with his eyes full of pride.
"NAHHH BRO. I didint learn ANYTHING from today, I regret NOTHING- LET'S GOOOO."
The end