Chapter Text
"PENNY," May screamed the second she heard the sound of the door.
Peter knew what was coming, but he still hoped every day that she needed to stay longer at work.
He slowly made his way to the kitchen — ignoring the wrong name that she used — and lowered his head because he didn't dare to look her in the eyes.
"My boss invited us for dinner at a restaurant, and you're coming with me." She explained with a surprisingly calm voice.
"Do I really need to come with you?" Peter asked shyly. He probably shouldn't have asked her that and should just be thankful that she didn't hit him like usual.
"Yes, and you're going to wear a pretty dress, not those ugly boys' clothes!" She explained.
"But I don't wanna wear a dress!" He knew it was useless to argue, but the last thing he wanted was to wear a stupid dress.
"I don't care, Penny! You're going to wear a dress, whether you like it or not, and grow out your hair; you look like a boy!" She said harshly.
He just nodded in agreement, keeping his head low, and made his way up to his bedroom.
As he stepped through the door, his eyes were already burning, filled with tears.
He locked his door so May couldn't come in and walked over to his closet, looking for the dress he still had. After pulling it out, he looked at it and couldn't hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.
It was a simple, black dress with long sleeves.
He was not going to wear this. That was one thing that was sure, but he also didn't want to disappoint May even more.
Tears were already storming down his cheeks, falling down on his hoodie.
He grabbed the dress, throwing it angrily at the wall.
His breath hitched. He tried to breathe steadily but it felt almost impossible.
He knew this feeling when he felt like he couldn't breathe, when his heartbeat increased and when he was sweating even though he was cold.
He basically ran to his bed, searching for his little box under it.
He opened the small box and searched for the blades between everything else that was in there. He had this box for emergencies like this. Everything he needed was there.
Bandages, blades, pills, — everything he needed.
He grabbed the blade, closed the box, and sat down on the bed and took off his hoodie, which he threw at the floor.
On his arms were still old scars which already faded and some newer, but there were also fresh cuts from a few days and weeks ago.
He placed the blade carefully on his arm, still trying to catch his breath.
He pressed harder and pulled the blade over his arm. His sobs immediately got quieter as he felt the soothing pain in his arm.
He inspected the cut. It wasn't deep, but deep enough that the thoughts in head got quieter.
Blood was coming out of the wound, flowing slowly down his arm.
'You will always be a girl' he heard his aunt saying.
'We can fix you'
'Pussy Penny'
Another cut. Right above the other one.
This one was deeper. He hissed at the pain, but found comfort in it the moment he saw the blood coming out of it.
He quickly hold his arm about the floor, so it wouldn't drop on his bed, ruining the white bed sheets.
His head was empty for a moment, before his thoughts started racing again.
He just wanted to be accepted as a boy.
Or even better, he disappeared.
Then another cut and another.
Only when his mind started to shut up an went quite, he stopped.
Grabbing a tissue from the table to wipe the blood away on his arms and on the floor.
He pulled out a bandage and wrapped it around his arm, ignoring the fact, that it could get Infected, but he couldn't care less at the moment.
"We are leaving in 30 minutes Penny!" He heard May screaming.
"Yeah." He tried to sound normal, not like he had cried or almost had a panic attack.
He still didn't want to wear it, but he feared he had no other choice.
After putting his blade back into the box under the bed, he pulled his phone out of the pocket and decided to text the stranger, noticing he knew nothing about him, just that he's a man which he guessed from the way he texted. Also he didn't correct him after Peter called him old man so it meant he was a man.
Peter:
Watcha doing?
TTYL means talk to you later btw.
Within a second he got a respond from him.
Unknown number:
Nothing much. Just working, and you?
And what means btw?
Peter:
Same
It means by the way.
Unknown number:
Okay, got it!
Why did you text me?
Peter:
I just noticed that I know nothing about you besides that you're a man which I figured out.
How old are you?
Unknown number:
Old.
Peter:
And what's your name?
Unknown number:
Won't tell you, kid.
Besides I also don't know your name.
Peter:
My name is Peter.
Now tell me yours.
Unknown number:
No, you can give me a name.
— Peter changed 'unknown number' into 'Old creepy man' —
Old creepy man:
Heyyyy that's rude.
I'm not creepy.
Change it right now!
Peter:
Then tell me what you like.
Old creepy man:
I love technology, math, and building stuff.
— Peter changed 'Old creepy man' into 'robot' —
Peter:
Better?
Robot:
Yes.
Thanks!
Peter:
I need to go. Byeee
Robot:
Bye, kid
He threw his phone on the bed, remembering they were going in a few minutes.
He bend over to grab the dress which was still on the floor from earlier.
After taking off his clothes, he slipped in the dress and felt already extremely uncomfortable.
He kept his binder on even though he was wearing it for 10 hours straight.
The look in the mirror only made it worse. Before he would cry again he looked away, telling himself over and over that he was a boy, no matter was his aunt was saying or what he was wearing.
Peter made his way down to the kitchen, seeing his aunt already on the door smiling at him.
"You look so much better in a dress than in those ugly boyish clothes."
She said happily.
The only respond she got was a murmured 'mhm'.
They walked to the car together, but before getting in May spoke up again.
"Please behave Penny." She pleaded.
It looked like this was an Important meeting, but he didn't dare to ask her why she is so happy and especially so nice to him.
He just nodded at her request and walked to the other side of the car to get in the passenger seat.
The drive to the restaurant was quiet. No one really talked much. Just a simple question from May about the school. Peter didn't feel like talking, not when he was wearing a dress and felt uncomfortable.
"Tony! Put your phone away and listen!" Fury said.
Maybe it wasn't the best idea to text with a stranger during an important meeting. But on the other side, this meeting wasn't even important.
He shoved his phone back into his pocket and tried to listen.
"Like I said, we need to know his identity, he could be a danger for the city." Fury continued.
"He is just a kid, I don't think he is dangerous." Tony interrupted him.
"And he's just stopping robberies, so no big deal." He continued.
He knew it was useless to discuss with Fury, it was also useless to know Spider-man's identity.
"I don't care! Who wants to find him and tell him that?" He asked, not answering Tony.
Suddenly all eyes were on him.
"Ughh. Why me?" He asked. He didn't want to waste his time on a kid who isn't even doing anything wrong.
"Okay. Then, Tony, you're going to talk to him. You can all go now!" Fury responded, ignoring his question one more time.
They arrived at the restaurant, making their way inside and looking for the table her boss reserved for them.
When he spotted them, he stood up, held out his hand to shake May's, and greeted her politely.
After May sat down, Peter also shook his hand.
"Nice to meet you. My name is Pet— I mean Penny." He introduced himself, feeling May's eyes on him when he almost say Peter.
"Nice to meet you too!" He replied, sitting down on the opposite side from May so he could face her. Peter copied his move and sat down right next to May.
They were talking about work, but Peter didn't really listen, his mind drifted away.
He only talked when he needed to, like when he got asked something or the waiter asked for his order.
He just wanted to go home. He felt so embarrassed from wearing a dress in public and he hoped no one would see him he knows.
When they finished and paid, they said bye to each other and headed back to their car.
"I'm glad you behaved." She spoke more to herself than to him.
Peter only looked down on the ground, not wanting to talk.
After they got home, he threw himself onto the bed, feeling extremely tired.
Before he could fall asleep, he needed to change into comfortable clothes and get this stupid dress off.
It didn't take long for him to fall asleep and drift into a bad sleep.
It wasn't a surprise that he woke up 4 hours later from a nightmare where no one accepted him as a boy.
Looking at the time, he saw that it was almost 2 a.m and he knew it was useless to try to fall back asleep.
Instead he stood up, ignoring his arching rips and walked to the bathroom to wash the sweat on his face away.
After he went back to his room, he grabbed his suit out of the closet and threw it on.
May was already asleep, so she wouldn't notice when he was gone. But to be sure, he locked his door and swung out of the window.
The night was quiet, there weren't much crimes. Just a few robberies and two guys were trying to break into a house. So in the end he sat on a tall building again, waiting for more crimes.
But after a few minutes, he felt a presence from someone behind him. The person didn't do any noises, but his Peter tingle went off, telling him to turn around.
When he did so, he wasn't surprised by someone who wanted to kill him, instead he saw fucking Tony Stark, without his suit.
Peter immediately got up, taking a step forward and had not a single clue why Tony Stark was behind him.
"Hi Spider-man." He said calmly, also taking a step forward.
"H-Hi." Peter stutters.
"I'm not going to talk around the point. Take the mask off." Surprised from that request, he needed a second to think before he shook his head.
"Okay, listen to me. We can't let someone run around with superpowers, without knowing their identity. You could be dangerous. So please take of your mask and don't cause further problems."
"Can't do that, sir." He responded before he threw himself off the building once more.
'Holy shit, fucking Tony Stark talked to me!' He thought on the way home. He knew he couldn't get away with this so easily, but at least for this night.
When he got home again, he climbed through the window into his room, like every single time after patrol. He was so tired that he could fall asleep on the spot, but he needed to change first.
He took off his suit and binder, feeling already the pain crawling up his ribs into his chest.
"Fuck!" He murmured. He should start paying more attention to his health and stop wearing his binder the whole day.
After he changed in a random shirt and some pants, he fell on the bed, trying to fall asleep.
But everyone knows that Peter has terrible luck, so his phone started ringing.
'Who the fuck would call this late?' he thought.
Without a glance he grabbed his phone from the table next to his bed and answered the phone.
"Hello?" He asked, still not knowing who was on the other line.
"Hey, loser!" The other person responded. He immediately knew who it was. Not only because of the familiar voice, but also because of the name. Only one person calls him loser.
"Mj? Why are you calling at almost 3 a.m?" He asked his best friend.
"Just wondered if you did the biology project for tomorrow. And it wouldn't be you if you were already sleeping." She continued.
"What biology project?" His voice was filled with tiredness, but he couldn't care less.
"The one from two weeks ago?" That was definitely one reason Peter liked her so much. She remembered everything and knew exactly what Peter might have forgotten.
"Fuck!" He said. Standing up again, he sat himself down on the chair of his small table.
"Do you remember what topic I had?" He asked Mj again.
"DNA." She quickly answered.
"Thank you so much, Mj!
"No problem, loser. I'm going to sleep. Bye!" She said and hung up the phone before Peter could reply.
'I guess I won't get much sleep tonight' he thought before starting with the presentation.
When Tony got back to the tower, all Avengers — even Fury — were standing in a line, waiting to get told who Spider-Man was in reality.
"Don't look at me like that. He ran away... or technically swung." He grinned at his own stupid and unfunny joke.
Before the other ones could respond, he made his way to Pepper and his bedroom, where Pepper was already sleeping. Of course she was, it was almost 3 a.m and they both had a lot of meetings today.
The next morning when Tony woke up, Pepper was already gone, probably doing some work.
Their relationship wasn't complicated or anything. They were just two busy people who didn't have much time for each other.
Pepper did all the paperwork, and Tony needed to work on his suit and on the weapons from the other Avengers.