Chapter Text
The Hamato Dojo came to life every day at 10:30 in the morning. Sunday mornings were always busiest, the opportune time for the younger students. The higher level students always came first, which led to Leo holding large kicking pads in front of him while one teenager practiced their kick routine. “More power, Suni, come on!” He encouraged, earning a bit of a heavier hit, but still not enough. “Harder, again!” His student, a sixteen year old girl, grunted and kicked again with more vigor, causing Leo to stumble back slightly. “There we go! That’s what I’m looking for!” Suni stopped kicking, but kept bouncing on her feet while she cooled down. Leo dropped his arms, and went to pat her on the shoulder. “Good job, keep it up. Go get some water and take a moment, we’ll start spars in a minute.”
Raph was in the other corner, helping a kid while throwing punches. He jabbed lightly at the kids side, causing him to stumble. “Stay up,” Raph instructed, “Keep your eyes on your opponent at all times. You got this.” There was a determined huff from the kid before his fists were back up by his face, ready to fight.
Donnie was standing at the front desk with Mona, chatting away, and Mikey was helping students just coming in to warm up. Leo checked in with several other students, pushing them to hit harder, sharpening their form, congratulating them on recent belt advancements, and so on, until Raph called for spars. They happened right about when the newer students came in and greeted their Sensei, or Senseis, in today's case. A way for new students to see what they could work up to, and of course, time for the Senseis to show off a bit. Usually, Raph and Mona would start, but when Leo heard his name called out, he froze for a moment.
He looked over to Mikey, who was looking smug and like he was trying to stir up more trouble. Leo was busy trying to ignore the heart palpitations from his recent discovery and he had a sneaking suspension that “Dr. Feelings” wasn’t going to let that slide. “You’re spending too much time hunched over and reading, you need to throw some punches.” He taunted.
Leo frowned. “You really want the punches I want to be throwing?”
“Absolutely.”
“You’re asking for it,” Leo sighed. He should have known better than to try to suppress feelings while in Mikey’s presence.
The two of them walked to the front of the room, Leo clenching and relaxing his hands as he got warmed up. Mikey followed with that weird, floating kind of grace he always had. Kids scattered away from the main floor, gathering with their friends to keep stretching or to talk as the fight went on. Raph clapped his hands to catch everyone’s attention as Leo and Mikey planted their feet, facing one another. “Ready?”
Both of them nodded.
“Hajime!”
Mikey jumped forward, ever light on his feet, with his hands up to his face. He swung once, narrowly missing Leo as the older one slipped by. “You’re avoiding some important feelings, I can tell.” Mikey muttered, spinning on his heel to watch Leo.
“I am not avoiding anything, I am simply… prioritizing. I have a lot of work to do. Fantisiz- thinking about this new predicament is not a priority, nor will it help me in any way.” Leo grumbled as he dropped low and tried to sweep his leg beneath his brother.
“Oh please,” Mikey jumped back, “You’ll get more distracted the longer you dwell on it and then it’ll explode in your face.” He taunted, rapidly moving around Leo to keep him confused. He jabbed Leo slightly at every turn, agitating him quickly.
Leo caught on to his pattern and started blocking the quick jabs, eventually grabbing onto Mikey’s wrist and using it as leverage to pull the younger brother forward. Leo slid his foot forward, causing Mikey to stumble over him, falling to the ground. “I will not explode! There’s just a lot going on and that can’t be one of them.” He insisted.
Mikey tumbled onto his back, but shoved his feet forward into Leo’s abdomen, sending both of them further away. Mikey jumped to his feet. “You’re freaking out over nothing, Leo,” He smirked. “What's the big deal, anyway?”
“What’s the big deal?” Leo asked incredulously, “Usagi barely likes me as a colleague, let alone a friend!”
Mikey narrowed his eyes. “I think you misunderstand him. If you guys are hanging out–”
“–literally just researching and doing our jobs–”
“–hanging out, then I think he likes you more than you think! Even if just as a friend. That’s a starting point.” Mikey said, taking a quick step forward and throwing a punch. Leo deflected it, taking the hit on his forearm before mirroring the move.
“I’m not going to ruin a good thing,” Leo murmured, trying to figure out how best to end this fight so he wouldn’t have to keep talking.
Mikey acted quickly on Leo’s distraction, sidestepping him and tackling him down to the ground before Leo even understood what was going on. Leo didn’t even try to fight back, just lying limp on the ground with his face in the mats, double tapping to signify his forfeit.
“Oh come on,” Mikey whined, “at least make my win a little more fun.”
“No.” Leo said as students started clapping, “You don’t deserve that.”
Mikey scoffed, standing up and offering his hand to Leo. “Rude.” Leo frowned as he took Mikey’s hand and stood up. “Just think about what I said.”
“I’m not doing that.” Leo grumbled. Mikey tightly squeezed his hand, to the point where Leo wasn’t certain his hand wouldn’t snap. He tried to yank himself free but Mikey didn’t let up, all with a pristine smile on his face. “Alright, alright, damn! I’ll lightly consider it.”
Mikey let go. “I’ll take it.” The younger turtle turned towards the rest of the students and encouraged them to start taking their place on the mat while Leo stood there and thought.
So. Not an ideal situation, all things considered. He felt a little pathetic. Not being able to identify when he started liking Usagi romantically only made him feel worse because admitting he had a “crush” at the ripe age of 32 felt a little silly and something maybe teenage him would do.
It would be him of all people that would fall for a guy that barely liked him. Just his luck, he supposed. Leo could feel his heart rate rising along with the heat on his face. He slapped his hands over his eyes and groaned. He was so not chill about this. He was going to be a mess and with everything going on, he couldn’t afford that.
Maybe he could just rip that band-aid off and get rejected and move on with his life.
…
Yeah, absolutely not. That would throw him off his game so detrimentally. Maybe once the cult stuff blew over, he could say something and once he was embarrassingly shut down, pretend like nothing ever happened and fuck right off into his office, never to be seen by that annoyingly cute rabbit again. Sounded like a plan to him!
A young voice interrupted his scheming. “Uncle Leo?” Karai asked, pulling at his hand. “You’re in the way. We can’t start class.”
“Huh? Oh, sorry.” Leo shook his head as his thoughts cleared, realizing that he was, indeed, standing in the middle of the floor with a bunch of children staring at him having a crisis. “Have fun, guys.”
“Are you not staying to train?” She asked, her voice already sounding disappointed because kids always know how to guilt trip him.
Leo swallowed, “Uh, no. Not right now, sweetie. I need to uh… go email someone.” He said, without really thinking about it. He should go check in on Usagi, though. Make sure he was doing alright.
Karai looked confused but shrugged and let him go. As he stepped off the mats, Donnie called over from the front counter. “By the way, ‘I’ll email you later’ was one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever heard you say. Get his number, you weirdo.”
“Shut up, Donnie! I don’t want to hear it!” He ran off with his hands over his tympana as Donnie cackled behind him.
_________
Usagi didn’t want to be in Leo’s apartment when he got home. That was too horrifying. It was bad enough that he had stayed there for the weekend, living purely off of delivered food because he was too nervous to use anything Leo had in the fridge. It was Sunday afternoon when he finished cleaning everything so pristinely that it almost looked like room service had come in. Usagi grabbed his keys and made his way down to the lobby. At the last door, he hesitated. He still didn’t feel that safe, but the anxiety had simmered down since Friday. He bit his lower lip and left the apartment building, immediately feeling the cold bite of the November air.
It took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out where his car was, in some overnight visitor parking lot past the side of the building. His eyes darted around every corner and shadow, making sure that there weren’t various sets of eyes watching his every move. He slipped into his car and took a deep breath. Starting the car and getting the heat running, he looked through every mirror and really had to fight the thought that ‘maybe they’re hiding in your back seat’.
His phone buzzed with a notification, making him jump. He fumbled around with his shaky hands, both from the cold and the nerves, until he unlocked his phone and saw the email notification. He wasn’t prepared to return to class and emails after the past week… He perked up slightly when he realized who the email was from.
Clicking on the notification, he had to stop a laugh of confusion. Leo had sent a quick email, no intro or proper signature at the end, so it really resembled a text more than anything. It read, "What's the state of you?” Which was… odd, to say the least. He could almost imagine Leo trying to figure out what to write and whether or not to be annoying about it.
He answered simply, thanking Leo for letting him say and that he tried to clean up the best he could. He hesitated before adding a little smiley face at the end of his message and sending it before he could think twice. It was a little smile. It didn’t have to mean anything. It was fine. Everything was fine.
Usagi took a deep breath before he started some quiet music and began driving home. He kept his eye out, looking at every face he could catch and ensuring no one was following him. When he finally got back to his own apartment, he ran inside and stood in the quiet stillness of his home. There was no noise aside from his own breathing, which was tense and waiting. He spent several minutes creeping into each corner of his apartment to make sure no one was hiding where he couldn’t see them. No one in the closets, under the bed, in an empty cabinet he never had enough dishes to fill, behind his curtains, literally just the middle of his living room. He had to make sure.
Once comfortably reassured that no one had broken into his home, he got to work organizing his next steps.
_________
Was it stupid to be back at the tunnels? Yes. But the thing was, they needed answers before resources got cut. Before the cultists came by and took everything. So there Usagi was, curled up in the seat of his car while he waited for more of his team to arrive. Usagi’s classes had gone… somewhat well that morning and afternoon, if not a little lackluster. He was tired and way too on edge to keep a train of thought, but he got through the material, mostly. He would probably get some more students than usual during his office hours to clear up some stuff.
Admittedly, Usagi had avoided Leo like the plague. He ran past his office like he was going to get caught for a crime and kept his own office door shut. While walking to his classes, he took the long routes in case Leo was out and about. On the two occasions he couldn’t avoid Leo, when he was leaving his office while Usagi was returning to his and when they arrived at the staff parking lot at the same time that morning, Usagi was incredibly short with his answers and got away as fast as he could.
He was embarrassed. A bit ashamed, in all honesty. Now that the weekend had settled, Usagi had a full memory of how he had acted and frankly, he kind of wanted to explode about it. He was so ashamed at how he acted, how fragile and inconsolable he had been and then proceeded to take up a bunch of Leo’s space.
Usagi bonked his forehead onto the steering wheel as he thought about it. He felt a little bad about how avoidant he was being, as it looked like Leo had wanted to talk, or at least… be normal. The turtle had been a little odd, as well, stuttering quite a bit while trying to get through the quickest conversation Usagi could manage.
Leo didn’t know Usagi was at the tunnels. It had been a scheduled meet to follow up on whatever they finished up on Friday, so it wasn’t like he was intentionally looking for trouble. Part of Usagi really wanted to ask Leo to join, again, but the idea of being around him was haunting and nauseating after what had happened. He really hadn’t ever wanted to be seen in such a state, let alone a guy he unfortunately had feelings for, let alone Leo.
Thankfully, he wouldn’t have to dwell on it for much longer, as a few of his team members pulled into the small parking lot, giving him plenty of reason to throw away his regrets and get to work replacing them with other anxieties.
He stepped out of his car, immediately searching the surrounding wooded areas and pathway to the tunnels. No one that he could see. He had called and demanded for higher security and with some arguing, they listened. More officers from the HCPD had been sent out, along with the ones that had already been regularly stationed at the site.
After a few standard greetings, he and the few that arrived started moving towards the tunnels to wait away from the frigid breeze for the other team members. Ivana, wrapped up right in two scarfs and a long coat, started asking some follow up questions from class earlier that day, which was a nice distraction. He paused her question for a moment when they reached the entrance.
“Dr. Yuichi,” a new officer greeted, reaching out to shake his hand. “We’ve already gone through all of the rooms within the first mile and no one was down there. How do you want us divided?”
“Two to each group, minimum. I want you guys in the rooms and outside in the halls. We’ll go over details once the rest of the team gets here.” He said, immediately heading into the tunnels with a slightly stronger sense of safety, though hardly any. The others followed him in, uncomfortably leaning against the walls while they waited for the rest of the team.
Thirty minutes after the designated meeting time, Usagi was getting a little concerned. Two of his field techs hadn’t shown up, a raccoon Yokai and slime Yokai, who were usually quite punctual. Usagi turned to Cavir, “Have you heard from Rico or Tana?”
The Ibis Yokai looked at his phone and poked around for a moment before shaking his head. “Nope. No messages.” He looked at the rest of the team. “Any of you guys hear from this weekend?” They got a wave of shaking heads in response. “They went home before Ivana and I did on Friday.”
Anxiety quickly swelled in Usagi’s chest. Something was wrong. He waved at the closest officer. “Who was working on Friday that stayed the latest?”
He looked a little confused. “Abbott and I did. Abbott was watching another pair before he came over to me.”
Caviar nodded, “Olsen was with us, yeah.”
“Where’s Abbott?” Usagi asked, looking around as its muscles started to tense.
Officer Olsen looked up the stairs and called out for his friend. A moment later, another officer joined. “What’s going on?”
Usagi stepped forward. “When you walked Rico and Tana out of the tunnels on Friday, did you see them get to their cars?”
“Uh- No, I-” He looked around, confused. “I didn’t walk them out of the tunnels. I went with Olsen to keep watch.”
Shit. “How about when they were leaving, did they look okay?”
He swallowed. “I didn’t see them leave.”
What.
“What?” Usagi asked, voice growing colder.
Abbott tensed up, “I, uh, there was some weird noise further down in the tunnels, so I went to investigate. One of them said they were done and were going to head out before I got back so… I just… went to go stand with Olsen because I figured they had it handled.”
Usagi felt his heart in his stomach. “You didn’t see either one of them when they said that?”
“No,” Abbott's voice was getting smaller as he shook his head.
“You-” Usagi took a deep breath in before turning around to face his team. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit. This was bad. This was bad bad. “Ivana,” He said suddenly, “you drove here by yourself, right?”
His student looked confused, “Yes?”
“Go home.” Usagi demanded. “Immediately.”
“What?” She looked concerned, if not a little insulted.
Usagi shook his head, “Nothing to do with you or your skills. You’re doing great. But you are a student and this has become infinitely more dangerous than anything you should ever be around. You’re off of this site from here on out. I’ll still get your hours and experience and whatnot dealt with, but you shouldn’t be here. Go home.”
She hesitated, “Um, y-yeah, okay.”
Usagi pointed to a different officer not far down. “You and Olsen, walk her to her car and dont, for a single fucking second, take your eyes off of her. Make sure she leaves safely.” The other officer nodded and the three departed. Once they were out of ear shot, Usagi sharply turned back to Abbott. “Explain to me, in detail, why you didn’t properly check in with them before they left.”
“I didn’t think I had to-”
“Didn’t have to?!” Usagi exploded. He looked at the rest of his team to see if they were hearing the same things he was. He was met with various expressions of concern. He turned back to Abbott. “You mean to tell me, dumbass, that you get assigned to watch over people researching an incredibly dangerous site and you don't think you need to double check everything?! Did you ever consider that the weird activity was a distraction? Maybe a way to draw you away? Because it clearly fucking worked!”
Usagi could understand if they went after him. He was the one researching and exposing what was going on. If he put himself in danger with his work, so what. But not his team. More people were in danger now.
“These are cult infested tunnels! Who in their right mind gets loose with precautions in a place like this?!” Usagi ran hisands over his ears as he turned away for a moment. This was bad. This was bad bad. “We need to submit missing persons reports. You,” Usagi pointed at Abbott, “need to alert their families.”
He didn’t know what to do, what to start with. Two of his field techs were missing. One of them was the lead on mapping. His field techs were missing. They weren’t seen leaving the tunnels and no proper confirmation that they had even gotten the chance to leave.
“We need to search the tunnels.” He said. “See…” His words trailed off as a horrible image appeared in his head. “See if they’re still down here.”
Abbott spoke up, “That’s not something you-”
“You shut the fuck up. I’m doing what I want.” Usagi refused to look at the man, hand up to silence him. “We need to find the other entrance to the tunnel and see where that leads. Then you guys are all done down here.” The remaining group of his team looked at each other, discomfort riddling their expressions. “Stay in groups, minimum of two. Watch each other's backs and please, for the love of all that is good, don’t get attacked or caught or who knows what else, got it?”
They just needed to find the exit. Usagi could come back at his own risk to further investigate any rooms, but he refused to put his team in any more danger than he already was. They were already there and time was of the essence. There was work to do.
The head officer came down to the group after another minute, alerted by one of the officers Usagi had sent out earlier. Usagi filled him in on what was going on, not without heavy distaste and petty remarks. By the look on the man’s face, Abbott was not going to be employed for much longer.
“Okay,” Usagi said once every group was ready. “Just brute force it. Vaguely mark out rooms that are of highest intrigue or importance and then move on. I don’t want us staying in one place. I’ll deal with the weird rooms later.”
With that, and enough anxiety to power a lifetime of panic attacks, they were off. The team walked through the main tunnels together, past that horrid message on the wall and further into the unknown. When they got closer to where their map ended, Cavir came to a slow stop by a room Usagi hadn’t recognized. Immediately, he understood. It was the room where Rico and Tana had been.
Usagi went to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder. Cavir sighed, a sad look in his eyes. “I’ll try to call Rico.” He muttered.
“You’re not going to get reception down here and I don’t want you leaving on your own.” He said softly.
“Right. I’ll give him a call later.” Cavir rubbed his neck and kept walking, head tilted down as he went. The way he spoke made Cavir sound so sure. So sure of a plan set in stone that would have a good outcome. It was a false hope. Even though confirmation was far from reach, they all seemed to know how that would end. Rings would go off until he was eventually sent to voice mail and then Cavir would hear the voice of a friend he may never hear from again. Usagi wanted to hang on to hope. Hope that maybe they hadn’t been taken, that maybe something else had prevented the two of them from showing up. But even still, radio silence meant something had happened. Usagi just really hoped it wasn’t what they already knew.
He hadn’t realized he had stalled by the entrance of the room before another field tech had called out to him in question. Usagi started chewing on his lower lip. “I’m going to look in this room for a bit. Maybe they left something behind. Go on ahead of me.” He waved them off. They all exchanged looks of general unsurety before slowly continuing on ahead.
Usagi stepped into the room, eyes quickly scanning the shadows for anyone waiting in silence. He was alone. The room was covered in a thick layer of dust, which was consistent with many of the rooms down here. A sick feeling appeared in his stomach when distinct markings of something heavy being pulled away were beneath his feet. There were a few foot prints in the dust, showing the movement of his team members before a different set came in. The rest of it had been wiped away.
Pressure quickly built up behind his eyes and in his chest with a knot in his throat. Don’t cry. He demanded. Not now.
The room was dim, the torch light from the hallway barely leaking in. Even so, it was clear that this room had been for resting. Several beds stacked on one another were against the wall to Usagi’s right with a few cabinets for storage lining the further wall. There was a bookshelf now almost completely empty to Usagi’s left. He couldn’t help but think about what Rico and Tana had been looking at when they were taken. What had they found? What had they felt? All of his questions were swiftly followed by dread. Dread because they were Usagi’s responsibility and he had let them down. They had been put into harm's way because of Usagi. It was his fault.
He was putting people in danger. People shouldn’t be in the tunnels. He was putting everyone in danger. His team was in danger. Leo was in danger. Someone else was going to get hurt. And it was his fault.
His fault.
A hand on his shoulder shocked him out of his dwelling.
Nearly jumping out of his skin, Usagi whipped around and without a second thought, threw a punch at whoever had snuck up on him. His fist landed square in the jaw of the taller man and it wasn’t until Usagi saw the vibrant red crescents over green skin that he realized his mistake.
Leonardo grabbed the side of his face, bending over slightly as he groaned in pain. “Holy shit! I am so sorry!” Usagi rushed forward, throwing away any previous anxiety about being around the turtle and replacing it with concern for his well being.
“Jeez, you can throw a punch,” Leo mumbled, hand pressed against his cheek.
“I am so so sorry, Leo,” Usagi grabbed Leo's hand to move it out of the way before taking Leo’s face into his own hands. The light was blocked from the door, so Usagi, without removing his hands, turned the two of them so that Leo was facing the light.
Moving his face around, Usagi inspected for any damage. His skin was turning a muddled red from the impact. A bruise would surely form within the next few minutes.
“Are you okay?” He asked, moving Leo’s face to be centered once more.
Leo’s brown eyes were blown wide, mouth pressed tightly shut as he stared at Usagi. Usagi felt horrible. Red was spreading across Leo’s face rapidly. How badly had he hit him?!
“Leo?” Was it possible to give someone a concussion by punching them? Leo’s eyes were rather dilated, now that Usagi really looked into them. Wow that brown is beautiful– Shut up that’s not the point right now! “Are you okay?!”
Leo started sputtering. “Uh- I- Yeah! Yup!” His hands waved around rapidly.
Usagi knew he didn’t need to get closer, but he was worried, okay? That’s all it was. He brought Leo’s face closer and looked at him intently, “Are you sure? Your eyes are dilated and you seem a bit out of it. I hit you pretty hard!” Usagi rubbed his thumbs over Leo’s cheeks to try to soothe the pain, worried that he had done more harm.
The red only seemed to get worse. “It- uh- no, I’m, uh, I’m good! Totally fine.” Leo’s voice cracked slightly.
“You scared the shit out of me!” Usagi started moving Leo’s face around again, checking for the bruise.
“I figured-” Leo choked before hesitant, shaky hands rested over Usagi’s. Wow, we are close. Usagi suddenly felt very awkward. “I’m okay. I promise.” His voice was quiet and gentle. Usagi’s hands stilled and Leo’s brought a stop to his frantic searching. Quickly, Usagi pulled away and moved to an appropriate distance for coworkers.
“Why are you here?” He asked quickly and perhaps a bit too sharply, voice caught in his throat from embarrassment. Did he sound too harsh? “Not that I don’t want you here! It’s just- uh- I hadn’t mentioned that we were coming today, and, and-”
“Ivana emailed me.” That shut Usagi up. What? “She said something was going on and said that maybe I could help you.”
Usagi blinked at him. “Has it been that long already?” Usagi peered down at his phone screen. It would have taken Leo just over an hour to drive to the tunnels and a decent amount of time to walk all the way to where they were. Now that Usagi looked, Leo was decently out of breath. Had he seriously run this far? That was well over a mile. Lo and behold, it had been about an hour and half since he had sent Ivana home. She must have emailed him immediately after she had left.
Usagi wasn’t sure if he was grateful or horrified that she did that. He wasn’t sure if he was grateful or horrified that Leo even showed up. Because of course he did. Leo always did. He showed up even if he wasn’t needed, but always when he was wanted. It made Usagi sick to his stomach in a way that only made him want to reach out and take more but he couldn’t, because that wasn’t appropriate and they were coworkers. It wouldn’t ever work like that. He shouldn’t wish for something he wasn’t allowed to have.
“What’s going on?” Leo asked, none the wiser to the swirling depths of Usagi’s mind.
Usagi wiped his clammy hands on the side of his pants, awkwardly looking away. Then the dread settled back in and the feeling of needing to cry came with it. He pressed his lips into a thin line, hard enough that he was surprised he didn’t start bleeding. He had gotten too caught up in his own juvenile emotions that he had neglected the actual issue at hand. How selfish of him.
“Usagi?”
“Two of my teammates are missing.” He bit out, nerves riddled in guilt. “Rico and Tana are gone.”
It was quiet for a moment.
“What?”
The words started falling from Usagi’s mouth before he could stop them. “Neither of them showed up today. And- and neither of them said anything about being late or not coming, nothing! No one heard from them this weekend. The- the one fucking guy who was in charge of them on Friday left before he ever saw them leave! He was… I don’t know, lured away and now they’re gone! They could be hurt, or even dead, and it’s my fucking fault because I kept bringing people down here when I knew the cult was active and now–”
Leo’s hands landed on Usagi’s shoulders. “Take a breath.” He interrupted. “Going into a panic isn’t going to help.” Usagi took a shallow shaky breath. Leo chuckled, “Whatever works, but just don't pass out from oxygen deprivation.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Usagi admitted weakly. His skin burned, heart wanting more of Leo, wanting more of his comfort, but his mind ripped itself free from desire. He backed away from Leo’s touch and wrapped his arms around himself. Distractions were what got him here in the first place. He couldn’t afford any more and his heart had a damn good sales pitch.
Leo looked confused, if not a little hurt by Usagi’s distance, but quickly replaced the expression with something neutral.
“What are you having the team do, right now?” He asked, voice steady.
“Brute force their way to the other entrance.” Usagi took a breath, trying to force down everything that hurt. “Then they’re leaving. They’re going home and not returning here until I know it’s safe.”
“Okay,” Leo nodded, “Is there a reason you’re still in here?”
Usagi swallowed, continuing to bite his lip for a moment. “I thought that maybe there would be something left behind. But, uh… there isn’t. So. Wasted my time, really.”
“Come on,” Leo encouraged, arms flinching as he stopped himself from reaching out. Usagi hated how much he wished Leo had gone through with it. “Let's go join them and get this done, okay?”
“Yeah.” Usagi agreed, quickly turning around and heading out of the dusty, haunting room. Leo was quick to follow, watching Usagi’s back like he always did. The thought alone made his face heat up. He was tempted to turn to the side and bang his head into the stone walls of the tunnels, but he feared that would raise more questions than anything.
After a painful few minutes of silence, Leo anxiously spoke up. “Is it an inappropriate time to ask why you were being weird earlier?” The bluntness of it made Usagi stumble over his foot.
“Not ideal, no.” He was short on time. The team wasn’t much further ahead, so he could either avoid the question and make everything worse or only sort of tell the truth and feel like a pathetic loser.
“Sorry.” Leo said simply. “You don’t have to answer.”
Usagi groaned, putting his head in his hands and tilting his head back. At least he didn’t have to look at Leo while he spoke. “It’s fine.” He inhaled deeply. “I just worry.”
“Frequently.”
“Shut up.” Leo scoffed at the demand. Usagi hated that he loved that sound. “I just felt really bad”
“About what?” Leo asked, as if it were the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Usagi scowled, even though Leo couldn’t see him. It was probably better that way. “I don't usually aim to show such a… disheveled version of myself to other people.” Let alone you.
“The situation was out of your control. I didn’t mind.” He answered simply.
Usagi saw his team up ahead, officers surrounding their group as a map was quickly scrawled onto paper and they moved forward.
“I did.” Usagi said sharply, embarrassment and shame burned into his mind. He picked up his pace and met up with Cavir, apologizing for the delay.
Leo didn’t respond. He seamlessly melded with the group, finding ways to help. Usagi noticed the several times Leo had tried to catch his eye. Usagi avoided each one, always finding something else to grab his attention. He wasn’t sure what hurt more; the ache in his heart or the look on Leo’s face when Usagi completely ignored him.
_________
Usagi was in another small storage room, with Leo awkwardly trailing him, when the word was called.
“Stairs!” Cavir's voice rang out. “Yuichi, there’s stairs!”
Usagi immediately disregarded the room he was in and ran out into the hallways. Surely enough, a bit further down where the light barely touched, there were stairs. He rushed to the group, past all of the rooms full of mystery and horrors and to what was surely the exit. His team let him through easily.
The stairs looked nearly identical to the set they had entered from. It was sealed off in a similar way, as well. He went up the stairs as far as he could without hitting his head on the seal. He couldn’t see the seams of the stone that blocked them from the outside world, but he knew that it had been moved recently, which meant that he could move it, too. “Can someone give me some light?” He asked quickly, hands up to feel around the cold and rigid stone.
Within a second, Usagi knew who would answer. “I got it,” Leo offered, stepping up the stairs and shining a light onto Usagi.
He looked over his shoulder briefly, “Thanks,” He forced a small smile. He knew the way he was behaving was unfair to Leo, and even still, Leo offered to help at any moment. It made that gross feeling in his stomach come back.
Usagi returned to his task, feeling around the stone for somewhere where the grain didn’t stab into his skin. He located the center of the stone, guided by the now visible seams of the exit. This entrance was larger than the other one, which meant the second he tried to lift it and move it on his own, he swore something pulled in his neck. He nearly crumbled, making quite the pathetic noise of pain.
Leo called someone else up to him and shoved the light in their hands before coming up to Usagi’s side. “You alright?” He asked quietly.
“Yup. Just a bruised ego.” Usagi answered, stretching his neck before resituating himself. Leo followed suit, placing his hands against the stone in a mirrored way to Usagi. “Slide it forward,” Usagi instructed before taking a deep breath. The two of them lifted the stone just enough to heave it forward. As the slab moved, a curtain of dust followed, nearly covering all of Usagi’s vision. Shortly after, pounds of leaves fell into his face.
When they finally pushed the slab far enough, it was dropped in favor of hacking out the various ecological substances that were drowning them. After clearing his face, his stinging eyes opened to see the light of the setting sun flowing into the entrance. A moment of simple relief felt like pounds of weight relieved from Usagi’s shoulders. It was only a moment before it all came crashing back down at the realization that they were so close. If they had found it a few days earlier, they could have been better guarded. They could have been better prepared. Rico and Tana wouldn’t have been taken.
The situation sunk in and instinct kicked into gear. Usagi grabbed Leo’s hand and tugged him down, making sure their heads weren’t above the entry line. Usaig honed in on his hearing to search for any unwanted guests. But all he heard were crickets and the sound of distant running water along with the rustling of leaves in the wind. They were alone. He stood up, without realizing he was still squeezing Leo’s hand like a stressball, and looked around. The exit was deep in the bordering forests around the site. It was expertly hidden in with the foliage, seemingly covered with plants and debris every time someone left to keep up the illusion. The trees were dense, overlocking branches that looked like a nightmare to get through for anyone over a sensible height. Basically Leo, but Usagi wasn’t going to say that. Well, he could. It would be turning the tables on all of Leo’s jokes about Usagi’s height.
Without thinking much more about it, Usagi turned to make the joke and saw Leo staring wide eyed at their joined hands. Usagi stared at them, too, while his brain short circuited before he quickly pulled his hand away. Joke thrown out of the window, because this was inappropriate, he turned around and went down the stairs.
The team looked exhausted. Relieved, horrified, and exhausted. “That’s it.” Usagi said bluntly. “You’re all done here. Great job, wonderful job, I am so very sorry I’ve dragged you through this as long as I have.” He clapped his hands together, “I know it's a long walk, but let's head back the other way. Getting out through there,” he said, pointing behind him without looking, “is going to be a nightmare for everyone. We should be out before sundown, and then we can all go home and you can all forget this ever happened!”
“Are you going to keep working on this project?” One of his field techs asked.
Usagi inhaled slowly. “Yeah. I can’t just leave it be. Especially now. There's something to be uncovered here and I’m in too deep, so I don’t have much of a choice.”
He didn’t leave much room for debate or discussion. He knew what he was doing was foolish and careless and a little farfetched, but he was doing it.
He led the team through the long hallways back, tuning out the weak conversation behind him. He didn’t know where Leo was, because for the first time, he wasn’t following close behind. It was almost like Usagi could feel his distance.
Usagi felt ridiculous. He couldn’t feel Leo’s absence. He didn’t do that. That was something people had once they had been married for fifteen years and dated for even longer, something like that. Usagi was nothing more than a dreamer. This whole thing was ridiculous. He was getting his feelings hurt by his own actions. He pressed his eyes tight and sighed. He was getting sick of all of this. Why did his heart have to leap head first into this mess in the middle of a cult disaster? Couldn’t it have waited? Who was it even helping? Because it certainly wasn’t Usagi!
He hated that he was creating distance. Leo was a person who liked being close. He teased and joked and pulled people into affectionate side hugs on a regular basis if he was close with them. The problem was that Usagi wasn’t like that. He couldn’t just switch up all of a sudden without throwing his crush into the open and making a fool of himself. This wasn’t the time. He kept telling himself that over and over again and it hurt more each time. He needed to focus on his work, not his silly emotions. He had work to do and rather dangerous people to fight. He was already putting Leo in danger by simply having him on the project, it would be even worse if they were closer. Usagi couldn’t do that. Not to himself and certainly not to Leo. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them, and that's under the assumption that Usagi would get anywhere with Leo.
Before he knew it, they had made their way to the first tunnel entrance. They were finally done for the time being.
One of the other field techs handed Usagi the roughly completed map with no indication of what each room was, but it was a full floor plan, and that’s what counted. He thanked them weakly then watched as each person headed up the stairs. Cavir and Leo were talking behind everyone, followed shortly by several officers watching their backs.
Cavir slowed when he approached, awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets. He cleared his throat. “I know you don’t drink, but some of us were going to head to a bar to get some drinks after… everything. Thought maybe you’d like to join, even if you don’t participate in the alcohol part.”
He wanted to. He did. But fear gripped at the back of his throat and made him shake his head. “You guys take some time to recuperate. I… I’ve got some work to do. And,” He sighed, “I can’t.” He said simply. Cavir would understand. The meerkat Yokai nodded and patted Usagi’s shoulder before heading up the stairs with the rest of the coworkers. Usagi offered a horribly weak smile to Leo before following. He knew Leo wouldn’t walk ahead of him. He hadn’t once since this whole journey started and he doubted that would change now.
They all walked to their cars in relative silence, eyes darting around the shadows of the setting sun. The longer safety seemed present, the more afraid people got. But then they were in the parking lot, and no cars had been broken into or hijacked and it felt painfully okay. How could it have been okay? How could they be safe after two of them had disappeared? It was wrong and it was unfair and no one knew how to feel about it.
“Um.” Usagi started, feeling worse and worse as the seconds passed. “Please let me know that you all get home safe. It feels ridiculous to ask that, but… I don’t know, I just…” His voice fizzled out as he slumped his shoulders.
“We get it.” Cavir offered a weak smile. “We’ll let you know. You stay safe, too.” He offered a wave before walking to his car, followed by several others who also awkwardly waved and got ready to drive away.
Usagi watched each one leave, making sure that no one had issues. Leo lingered. Because of course he did. He had parked right next to Usagi, too. He hated that it made him happy and pissed him off at the same time.
It felt weird to leave in separate cars. They had been together the past couple of times and now it just felt wrong. Another win for the stupid crush-brain, he guessed. He needed to stop getting used to things like that.
Leo walked with him to their cars, leaning against the door of his passenger side while Usagi leaned against his driver’s side. He didn’t know why he did it. He should have gotten in his car, said good night, and left before he gave himself more issues.
“You gonna be okay?” Leo asked, arms crossing slowly.
Usagi didn’t meet his eyes. “Yeah.” He swallowed. He was never a good liar.
“Usagi.”
“Hm?”
“You look like you’re going to throw up.”
Usagi frowned. Rude. It didn’t last long. He did kind of feel like throwing up. “I’ll be fine.” He mumbled.
Leo sighed. “Did I-” He cut himself off. “Just… get home safe, okay?”
“Okay.” Usagi nodded. Then swallowed. Debated saying something. Anything, really, because this whole interaction felt wrong. But he didn’t. He nodded again, turned around and yanked his car door open.
“Good night,” Leo said in a voice too weak for him.
Usagi cursed to himself. What in the world had he done?