Chapter Text
It's only when he's gazing absentmindedly at the roses that something clicks.
He thinks of all the cards, about the words Robert had written. He thinks of all the conversations they'd had in the days before the deliveries.
And then he knows.
He thinks of the flowers and the words and everything Robert's done for him, and he reaches for his phone, pulling up Google and typing away.
Flowers and their meanings.
He thinks of the argument: "Hyacinths," Chas coos. "How lovely! How's he gone and fucked up this time?" But her words are softened with a grin, by the way her eyes are glassy and proud. It makes him uncomfortable, the way she's scrutinising him with that fond look on her face.
He shrugs noncommittally. "Just some argument," He mutters, fighting back the blush that's threatening to rise up his neck. "You know what he's like."
Chas laughs, and even her tone is gentle. "I know that he loves you," She says instead of a proper reply. And it's weird to think of how much she'd hated Robert at first - now she's the first one to jump in and defend him.
For the first time in his life, Aaron's proud of his decisions.
Aqua-blue varieties of hyacinth blossoms mean sincerity in the language of flowers, while violet blooms represent the asking of forgiveness from the recipient.
He's grinning before he realises it, thinking about how soft his husband actually is. They'd been lovely at the time, sure - but now they make his heart skip a beat, the memory of it rose-tinted and safely tucked away in his mind.
He thinks of the others, thinks of the birds of paradise, exotic and striking and the way Victoria had smiled when she'd seen them.
"Happy anniversary," She grins as Robert lets her through the front door, offering a card and a hug. Aaron takes them both, remembers how much she loves them both and how much they both love her. She's their biggest supporter - always had been, especially when things had been tough and they'd been split apart. "I'm guessing Robert bought the flowers."
Robert snorts, but his fingers find the curve of the younger man's elbow. "As if it was going to be him," He teases, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. He's cheeky and gorgeous and so, so in love. Aaron can see it written all over him. He wonders how he could've ever doubted it. "He's the least romantic person I know."
Aaron pinches Robert's hip, hand sliding it's way under his shirt and then just sitting there. "They're birds of paradise, apparently. Although I would've been happy with four cans of Stella."
"Birds of paradise?" Vic starts. She's gone soft around the eyes and impossibly softer around the mouth, wrapping her arms around her middle. "Aren't they-" But Robert's nod cuts her off, and she's smiling at him like Chas smiles at Aaron. Proud and in awe, familial and loving.
It warms Aaron's heart.
Bird of Paradise symbolises exciting and wonderful anticipation.
His mind drifts to the carnations and the way they'd made him smile when nothing else could. He thinks of them glittering in the sunshine and how they smelt.
And then he's scrolling on his phone again, words blurring as his fingers move, and he bites down on his thumb to stop the soppiest grin from spreading on his face.
Robert comes home, face flushed and breathing heavy like he'd been running, rushing around. He looks exhausted but lights up at the sight of Aaron anyway, and his palms cup the younger man's face as soon as he's in reach. "I love you," He murmurs, bringing their foreheads together. "How have you been?"
"Good," Aaron confirms with a nod. He's not even lying this time. "I've been good - thanks to you, I mean." And he jerks his head towards the flowers. Robert smiles, a brilliant pure thing that makes the sun seem dull in comparison, and he presses the softest of kisses onto Aaron's lips.
"I was worried," Robert admits, thumb lazily tracing the line of Aaron's cheekbone. They're close but not close enough, not with the way Aaron wants to climb inside his husband and fill up all the cracks and gaps, to make sure he's never lonely again. "I'm always worried about you."
Aaron closes his eyes, breathes in Robert's scent and soaks in Robert's warmth and listens to Robert's breathing. He feels Robert. "I don't deserve you."
"You deserve better," The older man whispers, kissing Aaron a little deeper this time.
White carnations suggest pure love while peach carnations mean devoted love.
The lilies - they were something he wouldn't have even dreamed of liking, but he loved them. They weren't showy or strong, just delicate blooms and dainty stems. They were understated but beautiful, and that's honestly exactly how Aaron thinks of his marriage.
Robert steps through the door, but he's slower than normal - more careful. He takes his time, unlaces his shoes and places them on the rack, and hangs his jacket up. He's almost silent, but Aaron just watches him with a smile on his face. "Hiya," He whispers, shooting a glance at Liv on the sofa. She's fast asleep, blanket tugged up around her neck and mouth wide open.
The older man smiles back and heads to the kitchen, fills a glass with water. "Did you have a nice day?" He asks lowly, leaning against the counter and peering at Aaron through half-lidded eyes.
Aaron rises from the sofa, pads over to Robert and takes the glass out of his hand. He puts it carefully on the side and presses up to kiss his husband chastely, balancing on his tiptoes. "You didn't have to leave, you know," He murmurs, one hand squeezing Robert's hip and the other resting on his chest. "You're family, too. I said as much, didn't I?"
"Yeah," Robert half laughs, embarrassed and sweet. "But you two need each other sometimes, and that's alright. I don't want to intrude." He drops a kiss onto Aaron's hairline, and then they stand there for a moment, arms around one another and swaying.
They're interrupted by Liv groaning from the sofa, but they don't spring apart like normal - just slowly untangle themselves, and end up holding hands instead. "Rob?" The girl sighs, lifting her head and then dropping it back again. "Those flowers are lovely, you know. Nice thought. They're my mum's favourite." She sounds wistful and looks it, too; Aaron can tell even from here. Because even though they're a family, Liv misses her mum. It's alright, Aaron understands.
"They're nice," Aaron confirms, pressing his lips against Robert's jaw. "Thank you. I love you, you know?"
Robert flushes slightly under the attention, not used to it (and Aaron thinks he should probably change that) but he pulls the younger man in tighter against his side and flashes a smile at Liv. "I know," He murmurs, and Aaron looks around at his family. His family. He wouldn't change a thing.
Lily of the Valley symbolizes sweetness and purity of heart.
Sometimes he dreams of flowers, of blue skies and glittering petals. Robert's always there, telling Aaron he loves him and that he'll never leave him. Sometimes his dreams are memories, like that time Robert did this or Robert did that. Sometimes, he dreams of Robert in that pub, on their tiny insignificant date, threatening a man three times his size. Sometimes- sometimes, he just doesn't know what he did to deserve a love like the kind Robert possesses, fierce and unyielding.
"Robert," Aaron says quietly, sitting at the table. Robert is next to him, reading the paper and eating his breakfast without a care in the world, but Aaron tucks a foot under his husband's thigh and puts his fork down. "Can we talk about last night?"
Robert hardly looks up, just makes a noise in the base of his throat and glances up. "There's nothing to talk about."
"So we're not going to talk about the fact you could've gotten yourself killed by sticking up for me?" He hisses. He's not angry, he's not - he just remembers what Simon was like back then, he remembers what he was like himself. They weren't nice people, neither of them. And Robert, god, what if he'd have gotten on the wrong side of the man? A spike of fear stabs through his heart at the thought of losing his husband.
"I didn't, though, did I?" Robert counters, meeting Aaron's eyes. He looks hard and determined, but there's no less love on his face. "And I'd do it again, if I had to. Talking about it won't change that." He swallows down his mug of tea, stands to put his plate in the sink, but Aaron catches his sleeve.
He pulls Robert around so he's facing him, holds him there with his gaze. "You can't put yourself in danger for me," He says, hates the way his voice wavers.
Robert blinks, suddenly soft and sweet, and cups Aaron's face in his hands. "I would go to the ends of the earth for you, Aaron," He whispers, brushing his lips against the younger man's forehead. "I mean it, I'd do anything for you. Just remember that, because nothing you say will stop me from protecting you when you need it."
Daisy conveys loyal love.
He'd kept the lilacs in the portacabin and claimed they made the place smell better, but he didn't mind Adam's constant ribbing. The flowers- alright, it was kind of weird at first, but then he'd grown to appreciate them. He was a bloke but he finally understood why women liked getting flowers. He liked the surprise, the reassurance they gave. He liked looking at them, liked remembering Robert's love for him. That's why he didn't mind the jabs. That's why he smiled and flipped Adam off every time.
"Could you get me a bigger bunch?" Aaron asks, tone dripping with amusement. He glances at Robert, smiling softly in the moonlight, and lays his arm across his husband's bare stomach.
"You deserve them," Robert says, matter of fact, confident. He links their fingers and brushes his thumb over the engagement-turned-wedding ring. "You deserve all the flowers. I meant what I wrote, though - you might not be my first love, and the others do count, but you're the only one where I feel like I can be myself."
Aaron blinks away the tears clouding his vision and settles his head on Robert's chest, counts the thudthudthud of his heartbeat, the seconds between his breaths. "That means a lot more, doesn't it?" He asks, even though he knows the answer. He knows because he feels it too, the way he lets Robert see everything, the way that Robert loves him in spite of all of his flaws.
"Yeah," Robert whispers, grasping his hand a little tighter. "You're the first love because you see me for who I am, and you don't hate me. That- that means everything, Aaron."
The younger man drops a kiss to Robert's collarbone, soft and barely there and nothing but comfort. "Soft lad."
Purple lilac symbolizes first love.
There are so many days that Aaron could call the best one of his life, but there's just one that really stands out, front and centre. Their second wedding day, the registry office in Hotten, black suits and pink flowers. The Dingles happy, the Sugdens supportive. It was more than Aaron had ever wanted - even expected - but he didn't want anything else with Robert. Just being tied to each other. Forever.
Aaron frowns at the books on the coffee table, the expensive kind that don't even say the name on the front, but apparently Robert likes them because they're intelligent, Aaron, god. He tidied this morning, put everything away after Liv had torn through the house like a hurricane, and now it's messy again. "Robert," He calls, voice pitched and a little bit angry. The older man skids to a stop in the living room, in nothing but joggers and his socks. "What are these?"
He goes to lift them, but Robert places a hand on his arm. "Don't!" He says, strangled and pitched. "They won't be ready yet." He's blushing, and yeah, this is when Aaron knows he's hiding something.
"Are you going to tell me?" He asks, raising one eyebrow.
"I was pressing the boutonnieres," The older man mumbles, crossing his arms across his bare torso like he feels to exposed. "So we could keep them."
Aaron feels his face and body soften with affection, and he sighs, lifting the top book off. The peonies are there, flattened and drying out, and he fights the smile off his face as he carefully drops the book back where it was. "You wanted to keep them?" He teases, resting his fingertips on the points of Robert's elbows. "I thought I was the sentimental one."
"Yeah, well," Robert sighs, but he's grinning now, cautiously. "Just want to remember the best day of my life, don't I?"
Peony symbolizes a happy life, happy marriage, good health and prosperity.
He still flushes with shame when he thinks about the night he was drunk, because Robert was right - he is supposed to be better. It's just that sometimes, not often anymore, he feels like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. He knows that Robert loves him. He just doesn't understand why. But he pushes the memory out of his mind and thinks about the roses the morning after instead.
"I'm sorry," Aaron whispers, quietly padding into the living room. Robert's sitting on the sofa, typing something out on his laptop - probably something to do with the deal from last night - and he looks exhausted. Neither of them had slept much, just laid there touching each other and breathing in sync. "I was out of order."
Robert looks up and blinks, like he hadn't realised Aaron was there. "I just really hoped we were past this," He sighs, sounding desperate and sad. He shuts the lid of the computer and pats the space next to him, lets the younger man fold himself into his side. "I'm sorry if I made you think I was flirting, but I wasn't. I promise you."
"I know that, I do," Aaron chokes out, squeezing his eyes shut. Conversations like this are always the hardest, always make tears claw at his eyes, but there are things that they need to talk through, and this is one of them. "I just- I'm not a good person, am I? I don't have anything going for me, and you could have the world at your feet."
"You are my world, Aaron. You're the best person, and I loved you before, I love you now, and I'll always love you. You might not believe it but I'll tell you every day if I have to," He murmurs, tilting Aaron's chin up with a finger. "You're my husband and I love you. I've never wanted anyone else."
Aaron lets himself be kissed, lets Robert scratch his fingers through his hair, lets Robert's hand rest on his ankle. He wants to believe it, and if he tries hard enough, he feels like it's real and unwavering.
He tries.
A red rose is an unmistakable expression of love. Red Roses can also be used to convey respect, admiration or devotion. 12 red roses is the most popular of all which conveys "Be mine" and "I love you".
Aaron waits, the house silent. The telly's off, Liv's in town with Gabby and Jacob - it's quiet, and he taps his foot restlessly and bites the skin around his thumb. He waits.
He's up like a shot the minute he hears Robert's key in the door, the way it's twisted once to the left and twice to the right to stop it sticking and then the definitive click. He shifts his weight between his feet, and why exactly is he nervous? This is his husband, his best friend, his soulmate. He shouldn't be nervous.
"Hi," Robert breathes, smile on his face and a light in his eyes like he hasn't seen Aaron all of six hours ago. The younger man takes two large strides forwards and pushes Robert against the wall, kisses him with all his worth. "What was that for?"
"I love you," Aaron says, firm. "I love you, and I don't tell you enough but I do - and I appreciate you. Everything you've ever done for me, Robert, I love it and I love you." He reaches up and kisses Robert again, licks his way into the older man's mouth and shudders at the breath he gasps out.
When he pulls back, Robert's eyes are clouded with lust, dark and glittering, but he just smooths a hand down Aaron's side and smiles crookedly. "You know, then," He laughs, swaying forward into his husband's space. "You figured it out."
"I did have a look, yeah," Aaron confirms, kissing Robert sweetly, closed-mouthed and gentle. "You're amazing, you know that? Soft, but amazing."
"You won't tell anyone, will you? I've got a reputation to maintain," Robert teases, leading them both to the sofa. He drops down, pulls Aaron on top of him, and then shifts until they're laying, staring at each other. "I'd buy you flowers every day if I had to, Aaron."
Aaron flexes his fingers and then curls them into his palm, feels the metal of his ring digging into the skin. Thinks, he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me, and breathes out slowly. "Save your money," He murmurs, letting the tips of his fingers ghost through Robert's hair. "But, y'know, every once in a while wouldn't be so bad. Nice surprise."
The grin that lights up Robert's face is blinding. "I'll keep that in mind."