Chapter Text
It has been now two weeks. You were feeling like crap, still had no news from your brother, your parents were not dealing with their mistakes well so they were blaming you, your deadline for your project was arriving pretty fast, your drawing tablet had died so you had to work with your old one and the last but not least your relationship with Raphael had really deteriorated. Since the transformation incident, even with your best efforts you felt ...unsafe. Yes, unsafe was the right word, you couldn’t help to feel unsafe whenever he was around. You forced yourself to text him and your conversations were empty. When you were hanging out with the gang, you would always get as far as possible from him. You even ran away from him once. God, you felt so bad. So now you had two being feelings conflicting one being the fear toward him and the other being your( not crush cause there was no way it could be it ) attraction toward him. With all this stress and lack of sleep, what had to happen happened. You caught a cold… a pretty bad one.
You woke up with a horrible headache. But you quickly forgot about it when you saw his name in your notification. When was the last time you saw each other?
….Oh yes, that time.
*Flashback*
You were basically squatting at the turtle's, watching TV and laying couch that day with Casey. Since you couldn’t get as much TV channel as they had. You and Casey were talking about everything and nothing. You just had finished the chip bag so you decided to steal another one ( a necessary payback for every time they ate yours), so you want to the kitchen to grab a new one. As you were grabbing the bag from the top shelf, you saw Raphael from the corner of your eye. At this instance, your entire body, every muscle of your entity froze as if you were made of ice.
“RUN AWAY!” “GET AWAY” “MOVE ”Were the words shouting in your head
You slowly turned around and made eye contact with him. You put on your most beautiful false smile and grabbed the chips bag close to your chest. It all went silent. He was trying to talk to you but you could hear. You took a deep breath and turned around to see that he was now very close to you.
“ Oh, hum hi,” you said awkwardly,
“ hi…. So how are ya,” he replied awkwardly,
“good …. Good……….You?” you said trying to slip away from this awkward situation,
“ good…. So how’s ya … wounds ?”
“ It’s going ….. Great I guess… hey sorry, Cassey is waiting for me…. So later….” you said before almost running away
you were only able to hear his sigh as you left
*end of the flashback *
You were taken out of your thought when you felt your phone ringing. You checked it. Strange it was Donny. He told you one sentence and hung up. You grabbed your coat and put on shoes. You ran out of your apartment.
you arrived at the lair panting,
After someone question and confirmation, you were able to identify your brother. He was caught shoplifting by a security camera. Good news, he was New York… Bad news, he saw last saw with a small gang affiliated to the purple dragons. But you were relieved, Yes knowing him it would have been something he would do but he was alive and seemed okay.
A couple of seconds after your vision was starting to get blurry the adrenaline had dropped and you were suddenly hit by a wave of death. Oh, you just remembered that you had a freaking cold and you had run like an idiot with just a small coat in the middle of February. That was a dumb thing to do. You started to loosen your grip, you tried to stay present but fail and your legs gave up. You felt hands on your back, reassuring hand, you opened your eyes and your heart stopped you tried not to show too much emotion you were staring right into Raphael's eyes… tender eye, weren't you supposed to be afraid of him?
Has he caught you he almost dropped you again because of the heat? Your fever had gotten worse since the adrenaline was gone.
“Oh okay lucky are you okay?” he asked concern
“ .y-yeah... just pretty tired” you covered up
“ you are burning up….”
Donnie came up to you and placed his hand on your forehead.
“ She has fever… a big one. ”
“I am … fine” you got up “ It’s just a cold, I go home I’ll rest and it will pass” you step out ready to leave.
“ Okay ….. But at least …. Let ….. Raphael take you back home “ Donnie begged your heart stopped...oh no it was going to be super awkward…. But you really weren't in condition to get back home by yourself. So you accepted, you left the lair with Raphael in an awkward silence. When you got out. You both hesitated but he ended up picking you up bridal style to your surprise. You made sure to not hold him to tight….
( A/n spotlight of Raph)
“ This is the worst. Goddamn Donatello, now I bet she can’t wait to run away from me …. She must really hate…. Okay Raph you drop her off, make sure she takes that med and get to bed ……..Fuck, this is so awkward .” He said to himself
(A/n back to you )
despite everything, you were pretty comfy in Raph’s arms… since he was a cold-blooded creature, his skin was chill and it helped with your fever. You almost feel asleep in his arms but a sudden flashback of the event woke you up.
You arrived at your apartment, you weren't all there. you crashed on your couch too tired to go to bed
Raphael had completed his mission. You didn't run away from him this time. You seemed asleep so he gently patted your head and step away. But something held him back by the hand… you. You had grabbed his hands. You looked really sleepy… he assumed that you weren’t all there so, he tried to explain that he was leaving you alone. But when he tried to get his hands out of your grip, he heard you mumble something.
“ Sorry…. I am sorry. Raph…”
“ Are you awake.... lucky? “ he asked confused,
“ … yeah… I am sorry for ….acting as I did,” you apologized as you let go of his hand look down
A couple of awkward seconds which felt like an eternity passed.
“ Lucky answered truthfully do you hate me? “ he said unsure looking away
“ I ...I… don't hate you… I never did... Never will, ” you responded not prepare to hit the core of the suspect this fast,
“ Then why did you run away from me?” he said frustrated
*Awkward silence*.
What were you supposed to say…..You couldn’t just drop then the truth like that …but you were tired and you preferred an ugly truth than a beautiful lie.
You sat up
“it’s just that after the…. Transformation incident. *sigh* I saw something in you that scared me away…I guess”
“What have you seen?” he asked, afraid of the answer.
You took a big deep breath lifted your head. Pain in your eyes
“ I saw… hate, rage, anger, and violence… directed towards me and it- it came from you
And then every time I saw you, I would recall all those things, the rage, the bloodlust, this desire to kill …me. I saw all that your eyes and I got so scared, I couldn't believe it. I tried, I swear, I tried to get over it faster but my entire entity was screaming me that you were danger … I have been so mean to you, ignoring you... avoiding you ….” You responded and lowered your head… you were very ashamed of all this” I am sorry Raphael.”
“Raph...?” you asked, you looked up, he had turned around making you face his shell … you got up and pressed your back against it. Which Raphael jump a bit
“That thing... it -it turned me into whatever emotion I felt when I turned… I was so angry at Leo… and I took it all…on....on you,” he said …, you started suspecting something,
“Raphael… it’s fine, I won't run away or be scared okay, I am getting over it... you see” you reassured him.
“ I think I got scared too,” he said faintly,
“ yeah… of what ?”
“ I was scared of losing you, I was so sure that you hated me...”
You could feel in his voice that those emotions were very sincere.
“ I know how you feel, the aftermath of taking your anger on someone else is horrible... the best way to avoid that is to communicate more so you don’t bottle up like …..(You wanted to say “me” but it wasn’t a good idea.) What happened…okay”
“Okay, anyways, rest now we will search for your brother when you wake up.” He patted your head and left without letting you see his face.
The next night you were just okay enough to leave your apartment. So you want back to the lair. Donny had pinpointed when your brother was. The boys geared up, time to scare some low-level gang.
Matiss was with a group of individuals they just met up to gather up their loot of pickpocketing all day. One after the other they show their most prestigious seizure but when it was Matiss turn there was nothing. That was mad, not having anything, Matiss own them a lot. They have sheltered him and feeding him, what an ungrateful kid. Someone was gonna have to teach him a lesson. Suddenly a widow crashed, four shadows appeared.
A big deep voice appears ” isn’t it a bit late to play in the streets,”
A different voice joined”; good kids should be at home before dark.”
Another one; “ you all aren't good kids and you know what happened to bed kids”
The last voice joined, menacing” They get punished”
A more feminine voice appeared “ I suggest you guys leave this place or else-”
One of the gang members got up “ or else what? You fuckers think you sca-”
But they didn't finish their sentence once they saw a sword blade coming out of the shadow.
The entirety of the gang froze.
The largest figure stepped forward and the entire group ran away.
“except you, Matiss, you stay right where you are”
Your brother froze, eyes winded, shaking.
“y/n?” he asked afraid of the answer.
He slowly turned around to your figure tear apart of the shadow, you walk slowly up to him, every step you mad making him closer to his demise, the sound of you step like the trumpet of the apocalypse. If you were in fiction you would have had a big aura coming out of you.
You were now a foot away from him.
You suckerpunch him right in the face, making him lose his balance then grabbed him by the collard.
(a/n in your first language)
“ You fucking idiot, do you have any idea of how worried sick we all were?”
tears started to form in your eyes
“I-I tough you were dead… Why didn't you contact me? Why didn't you come to my house? I was so scared….” You said ending in a cry
You hugged him tightly as he started to break down.
“ I am so sorry, I am sorry, Y/n, I was so mad at the parents that I want to prove to them that I didn't need them. But it-it got out of hand and and …*sob* *hiccups *sob* I am sorry ” he hugged back
“ It’s okay now you are safe...sh ..shshhhhhh. I am here, big sis is here. “
In the shadow the boys were, looking at the scene from a distance, each saying to them selfs, “ I am happy to have those guys”. Mickey putting his around the shoulder of his brothers in a semi-weird hug.
*time skip*
finally, it had all ended, you had found your brother.
He met the turtles and had time to fanboy a bit.
At some point Donnie, made you stand next to your brother, both of you were confused.
“ No, but like seriously, look at them there's no way they are not siblings, look at their eyes. They have the same” he said
“ true, when we were little, we would play a game where the three of us would hide behinds the couch with a box with only holes for the eyes and make our parents guess who it was, it was….so fun” Matiss started very excited but ended looking down
Awkward silence
“ I wonder if we photoshopped the eyes of the other on your face we would see a difference, “ said Mickey out of the blue.
“Let’s do it !” you said, in hope that your brother would stop thinking about all this
You spent a bit of time in the lair.
then they took you back to your apartment. The gang left but Raphael rested.
Matiss went in to take a shower. Your body out of nowhere remembered that you had a cold and hit with a wave of fatigue, you let yourself drop on the couch.
You thanked Raphael for everything and realized he was looking at the windows
he turned around and with a big smile he said
“You know what you said about communicating better….., Lucky... I.. I really care about you”
And left before You could say anything or see his embarrassment.
He left you there with your face turning light pink in confusion …
“ hehehehe bet you have a crush on him!” said Nicolas laughing who had witnessed the entire scene, walked up to you
You froze…. “ Oh …. Fffuuck,” you said in a desperate tone.
Your brother tried not to laugh but failed.
“ Hhahahahahaha OH MY GOD! (y/n) the “I am never falling in love again” highness has a crush….. OH MY GOD HAHAHAHHAH”
“ Oh shut up,” you said punching him behind the head playfully