Chapter Text
group chat “INSECT CHILDREN”
3 online
16:38
Goerge: …. lads
Eggboy: wat
Goerge: did you see it?
Ringo: see what ?
Goerge sent a picture
Goerge: it’s a fuckin letter??
Goerge: from the rug????
Eggboy: …. richard did u write dis
Ringo: what the fuck ? no ??
Eggboy: okay paul isnt in the group yet and doesnt want to be yet
Eggboy: so he’s gonna
Ringo: gonna what
Goerge: gonna what
Eggboy: hi it me
Goerge: oh hi Paul
Eggboy: :))) I’m gonna type now :)
Eggboy: anyway, this is INCREDIBLY rude
Goerge: how??
Goerge: ANYROAD
Goerge: it just,,, it has FEELINGS??
Goerge: actual feelings, and thoughts, and it experiences things???
Ringo: did i just hear pol yell incoherently ?
Eggboy: its me again
Eggboy: i cannot believe that that thing has an actual BRAIN
Goerge: right???
Ringo: wow now i heard john yell
Eggboy: it’s me again!
Eggboy: the fact that that,,,, that THING only remembers me sicking up all over it and George cleaning it even though I cleaned it HUNDREDS OF TIMES, y’know, (and the fuckin HOOVER gets credit for it) is quite frankly biphobia and I want to sue.
Goerge: hhhhhhhhhhhh
Ringo: no don’t sue !! it has feelings n stuff, right ?
Ringo: doesn’t that make it a pet technically ???
Goerge: I-
Goerge: I guess?
Ringo: another screech from paul ??
Eggboy: real eggboy here again, hi
Eggboy: and i suppose it is really a pet
Ringo: john ? is that you yelling ?
Goerge: love that you keep me updated on who's screaming in our apartment while I'm at the library, Ritchie
Ringo: :) i'm a nice person
Eggboy: fake Eggboy here!
Eggboy: since it has feelings, I… I guess you could call it a pet then?
Ringo: cool !
Goerge: wow.
Ringo: so that means we’re not gonna get a new rug?
Ringo… did i just hear paul scream again?
16:51
Paul yeeted himself off the bed, throwing John’s phone in his unsuspecting face. Anger and frustration was filling his entire body as he stomped out of his bedroom and approached that of the disaster twins, throwing open the door. The doorknob hit the wall with a satisfying bang, and Ritchie, who’d been casually sprawled out over his twin sleeper, startled so badly he actually fell off his bed.
“WE”, Paul fumed, tactfully ignoring Ringo’s wide-eyed stare, “ARE NOT. KEEPING. THAT. RUG.”
John cackled.
THE END.
SIKE.