Chapter Text
When Beau woke up—her eyes heavy, her vision foggy—she registered four things immediately. The first one was beautiful and Beau felt her body fill up with joy: Keyleth’s hair. It tumbled down her back towards the bed, a brilliant copper river glittering in the early morning sun. Right, Beau remembered, last night happened. She’d stayed over. She’d slept in the same bed as this gorgeous fucking woman. Sure, it wasn’t perfect. She would have preferred a little less drink (or at least vomiting) and a little more playing around, but, for her first real date (as opposed to one-night stand) in god knows how long, it was pretty good.
Unfortunately, the other three things Beau registered, each in turn, drained away those positive feelings. After the hair, there was the incessant buzzing coming from the other side of Keyleth. A steady buzz, then silence, then a buzz again. Beau pushed herself up to see what it was and that’s when she registered the next thing: her body. Her head felt like someone had taken a pneumatic press and pumped about six pounds of cotton into her brain cavity. She groaned, gave a loud, “fuck,” immediately checked to make sure she hadn’t woken Keyleth up, and then cradled her head. Except that irritating buzzing was still going. Beau looked past Keyleth and saw a phone slowly vibrating across the nightstand towards an early death at the hands of the floor. Stretching carefully across Keyleth, she picked it up. There was an alarm going that simply said “Running!” Beau hit a button and it stopped. She dropped it on the nightstand and lay back down.
Which is when Beau remembered the last thing, the worst feeling of all, and the blood drained out of her. Last night, right before she had fallen asleep, right before she had passed out, laying there in bed, next to a woman she barely knew, Beau had thought the word “love.” About Keyleth.
Beau shot up. Her head swam. The pressure pounded and her mouth tasted dry and, for the moment, she wasn’t sure if it was the hangover or panic. Here, in the bright morning light piercing through the window shades, the dull haze of alcohol having worn away and the remains of too many beers nailed to the inside of her skull, things were a little too real in this bedroom right now. Beau glanced over at the sleeping form of Keyleth, who hadn’t moved an inch in the last few minutes, and made her decision: she needed to get the fuck out of here. Fun was fun. It didn’t even need to be sexy fun. But love was a level that Beau wasn’t prepared for. The fact that her drunk-ass self had even thought that was a warning sign. Feeling like that was a surefire way to get hurt. Last night had been fun, but maybe it was best to treat this like a one-night stand and peace the fuck out.
Beau scooted carefully to the edge of the bed and set her feet on the floor. Alright, things were a bit wobbly still, but she’d managed a hell of a lot worse. With a faltering start, she grabbed her suit jacket off the chair in the corner. She couldn’t find the tie, but, given what it had been used for, that was probably for the best. Turning left out of the bedroom, the kitchen was to the right and the way out was straight ahead. Beau almost leapt for the door knob. The door was open before she even registered it turning.
Which is when the groan came from the bedroom and a little piece of Beau, in the corner of the clanging in her head, stopped her in her tracks and turned her around. Shit. She couldn’t just leave Keyleth like this, at least, not until she woke up. Not until Beau knew that she was fine. That had nothing to do with feelings that was just human fucking decency.
Ducking her head into the bedroom, she saw that Keyleth was still in bed, eyes shut. But she was now on her back and there was a light snoring rolling out of her open mouth. That was probably a good sign. Beau rolled her tongue around her dry mouth. Okay, so. Water. Beau needed water and Keyleth would need water. And water was usually in the kitchen. So, water. Maybe some food. Get Keyleth sitting up. Then out.
Beau had found the kitchen last night in the dark. Things looked a lot different now, not illuminated by yellow electric light, but it was still where she had last seen it and the glasses were in the same place. She downed two glasses of water and leaned against the counter. She hadn’t gotten much of a look around last night. It was one of those old turn-of-the-twentieth century affairs. The kind that had been done over fifty years ago and been kept together with regular repairs and no updates since. The entire place was covered in the ugliest sunflower wallpaper Beau had ever seen, but it perfectly matched the laminate of the countertops. A big ceramic sink took up almost an entire wall. A small kitchen table was tucked into the corner between doorways. And a stove and fridge straight out of the 1950s finished out the look. It was hideous. But it was also a sight better than Fjord and Jester’s place, with its water damaged walls and the kind of tiny stove that was only made for cheap-ass rentals.
Most of all though, the place was filled with reminders of nature. Plants hung in front of the window from hooks in the ceiling and tendrils of leaves brushed the top of the faucet. More plants were placed in pots around the kitchen, seeming to thrive even without much light for most of the day (Beau guessed they must not need it, but she didn’t know shit about plants). The kitchen table must not have been used for eating because it was covered with pots, gardening tools, empty seed packets, and paper towels—all perched on yellow plastic trays that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a high school cafeteria.
And the rest of the apartment was the same. Wandering into the living room, there were two sofas—one a brown corduroy, the other a too-big floral print, both faded from years of use—a coffee table covered in more empty seed packets and old seed catalogs from ten years before (sticky notes carefully marking dozens of pages), and pictures everywhere. Beau glanced over her shoulder like a naughty child, but then pulled herself together with a shake of her head (and immediately regretted the sudden movement and groaned). She didn’t mean to pry, but looking at pictures that someone had purposefully set out to look at wasn’t prying, so ….
Beau leaned over and peered at a group of pictures on a side table. The first one was of a man with long black hair dressed in a black sweatshirt and black jeans. Too much black. Maybe it was the smile that was more shadow of smile than substance (or maybe it was just all the black), but there was something about him that dripped sadness. Next to that was a picture of Keyleth with the man and a woman who must have been related to him. They looked exactly the same, except the woman was a much better dresser and, by virtue of being a woman, much more attractive. Keyleth was between them, the woman resting her head on Keyleth’s shoulder, the man wrapping his arm around Keyleth’s waist. Keyleth was beaming at the camera. Her body language told enough of a story. So. That was the guy.
Beau snorted. Alright, kind of moody. Not really a surprise that didn’t work out.
She picked up the second picture and smiled. Keyleth had her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail and was decked out in a sports bra and athletic shorts. Her fists were wrapped in bandages and she was giving the camera a fierce glare that was not remotely successful. The big guy behind her, stripped down to his waist, thick beard, was doing a much more intimidating job. Surprisingly, so was the tiny blonde woman next to Keyleth who—. Beau looked a little closer, but then shook her head. The blonde looked strangely familiar, but Beau couldn’t place her. Maybe—
There was a load groan and then a soft “Fuck!” from the direction of the bedroom and Beau jerked around.
“Shit.” She glanced around, realized she was in the living room, remembered she was supposed to be taking care of Keyleth, and darted into the kitchen, immediately regretting the sudden movement.
Clutching her head, eyes squinting, Beau pulled open the fridge and glanced inside. It was stuffed full of food—vegetables, eggs, what looked like a leg of lamb, some strange algae-looking mixture in about ten glass bottles—but not what she was looking for. She gave another quick glance around the kitchen and realized that the most logical place for bread was the metal box sitting on the counter labeled, in big capital letters, “BREAD.” She peeked inside to make sure there actually was bread inside, regretted leaning over, and slowly walked back to the bedroom.
Keyleth was laying on her back, hands flung over her eyes, moaning lightly to herself. As Beau stood in the doorway, she could just make out Keyleth saying “Stupid, stupid, stupid …” under her breath. She hadn’t noticed Beau yet. Or maybe she’d noticed her absence.
Beau propped herself up in the doorway. “Hey.”
Keyleth slid her hands slowly down her face and peered at Beau through half-covered eyes. “You’re—you’re here.”
Beau walked over to the bed. “Fuck yeah I’m here.” She grabbed the half-filled water glass off the night stand. “I’m going to get you some fresh water. You just take it easy, alright?”
Keyleth flapped a hand in the air. “No, no,” she said weakly, “I’ll—I’ll get it.” She went to sit up, but only managed to groan and grasp at her side and head.
“Yeah, trust me,” said Beau, “You take it easy. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Beau dumped the water from last night out in the kitchen sink and filled it anew from the tap. The nice thing about winter was the fresh cold water from the tap. Then she sliced off two pieces of bread (who didn’t have sliced bread in their apartment!) and threw them in the toaster and headed back to the room.
Keyleth took the water and, after a failed attempt at sitting up, rolled over and sipped at the glass over the side of the bed.
When she was done, Beau took the glass and set it on the night stand and then sat down on the bed, squeezing in next to Keyleth’s legs.
“I’m guessing you’ve never been hit this hard before?”
“I’m sorry,” groaned Keyleth, “This must have been such a shitty date.”
Beau chuckled. “I’ve had worse.”
Keyleth could barely open her eyes.
“I’m going to go get you some toast to eat. The more water and bland stuff you can get in, the better.” Beau patted Keyleth’s thigh (hidden under layers of blankets) and stood up.
Keyleth vaguely nodded, pulling the covers up to her ears.
Beau meant to leave after breakfast, once Keyleth was sitting up. And then she met to leave after lunch. Keyleth had moved to the couch by then and, although she clearly needed to rest (she’d called her dad to ask him to open up the co-op today and then quickly dissuaded him from stopping by), she was good, she didn’t need to be taken care of anymore. Beau could go without a twinge of conscious. That would be the smart thing to do. Go back home—go back to Jester’s and Fjord’s and forget about Keyleth and text in a few days and say, “Thanks, it was fun, but I don’t think it will work.” That was how this was supposed to go. “You’re sweet, but we’d be a mess.” Out the door. Back to the job hunt grind and Jester and Fjord’s clueless flirting and Molly being a dick and Yasha being hot but distant and—just back to … reality.
The thing was, it was nice here. Once Keyleth was conscious and her head wasn’t constantly beating her up, they started talking and Beau liked it. Keyleth was … sweet? But she had an edge. Beau couldn’t quite put a finger on it. She seemed shy and quiet, but then, like last night, she’d go loud and wild. And Beau had the distinct sense that even if Keyleth couldn’t take her in a fight she’d put up a good attempt. Most of all, being here felt comfortable. She’d been sleeping, living, on a couch for months now, chasing a future she didn’t even want, waking up with an ache in her back, her skin a bit greasy. Last night, for all the vomit and the fighting, had been a burst of adrenaline, exhilarating and intoxicating. She’d woken up with a pounding headache. She’d spend the day on another couch. But this couch felt safe: no pressure, no judgment. And that was all Keyleth.
After Keyleth had felt well enough to move to the couch, Beau felt like she needed company, so they’d talked. They’d talked about family and childhood and dreams and music. The words had just spilled out and it was only a couple hours in that Beau realized she was talking about things she’d never talked about before—Tori, the boarding school, even being homeless. No one had ever asked. No one had seemed to want to know. Beau had felt a knot in her throat at that thought, like she was being disloyal. She knew that Jester cared about her, but … Jester never asked. Deep down, Beau knew it was unfair to expect someone to know just what to say to get her to open up, but … well, here was Keyleth and she was doing it.
So maybe that was why, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Beau was still there.
And getting a bit hungry. “Hey, it’s getting late,” she said, glancing at the worn plastic clock on the wall.
Keyleth pulled the brown blanket tight around her huddled knees at her end of the couch. She smiled quietly at Beau. “You’ve been really sweet today—staying here with me. You didn’t have to do that.”
Beau tried to hide the smirk Keyleth’s words drew out. “Yeah, I kind of did. I mean, I couldn’t leave you like that. I needed to make sure you were okay.”
Beau wasn’t sure what reaction she expected, but it wasn’t the one she got: Keyleth’s face crinkled up and she ran her fingers through her tangled mop of hair.
“It was really nice.” Keyleth was looking down at her hands, as if looking for specks of dirt. “I just—I just—”
Beau felt the tightness grow in her chest, the sick twist that came when you saw the bad thing coming and didn’t know a way to avoid it. Except Beau had learned that if you couldn’t avoid the bad thing, that stepping into it prepared made it a whole lot easier to deal with. So, before Keyleth could finish, she stepped in: “Hey, I get it.”
Keyleth’s face jerked up and struggled to meet Beau’s eyes.
“I don’t want me playing nursemaid to be, like, pressure or anything, alright? I know that our date last night was not, like, amazing. It just sort of … was. So … you don’t need to feel an obligation to see me again or anything. Really. I’ve got tough skin. You don’t need to baby me.”
“Oh.” It was a soft, confused sound. Keyleth blinked a few times. “Oh, I—I wasn’t—was our date just okay?”
The words dripped into Beau’s ears and she tried to make sense of things. Most of the time, Beau could see the person on the receiving end of this relax, shoulders dropping, the crinkle around the eyes and mouth loosening. It was the clear sign that Beau had pulled it off. She wasn’t getting hurt. She was chill as fuck. They were both on the same page. But Keyleth was just as tense as before. Maybe more tense.
Beau waved it away. “I mean, I had a great time. Like, it was a shit ton of fun. I mean it.” Keyleth seemed to brighten up at that. “But I totally get if you didn’t have a great time. I’m a little abrasive.” Beau chuckled. It only came out a bit forced. “Trust me: everyone I know has told me. It’s not news. So if you didn’t have fun, this can be a one and done deal. No need to dance around the bush.”
That soft sound came again: “Oh.” But then Keyleth kept going. “Actually, I had fun. I mean—well, it wasn’t my usual fun.” She paused. “I guess I don’t know what my usual fun is. I go out clubbing once a month with Percy and Vex and get hammered, but, well, I guess that’s my usual fun.” She perked up. “So this was sort of like my usual fun.” She laughed and reached out a hand to Beau. “What I wanted to say was that I had fun and I liked it and—and, well, I wouldn’t mind doing it again. Well, maybe with less puking.”
Beau stared at the outstretched hand. The freckles painted up the pale skin and disappearing at the shoulders off the armless tee were horribly distracting. You could imagine kissing each of them in turn and working your way—
Beau looked up at Keyleth and realized that she’d let her mouth hang open slightly at Keyleth’s words. Beau’s hand shot out and took Keyleth’s. “Wait, really?”
Keyleth’s mouth went wide in a smile. “Yeah. I guess I know it might not work or anything, but that’s—that’s dating, right?”
“Uh, yeah, right.” Beau looked at her hand, holding Keyleth’s hand. “That’s dating.”
Keyleth squeezed. “It’s just—” Keyleth’s hand pulled away and suddenly Keyleth was rubbing her face with both hands. “Okay, so, this is—this is too much—” She sighed and locked eyes with Beau. “Shit. I—so I need to tell you something. It’s important because I don’t want to start this—I don’t want us to maybe go any further without—” She stopped.
Beau choked down her words, the jokey response that bubbled up.
Keyleth broke through Beau’s never ending shitshow of thoughts. It began with a sigh. “Okay, you know I had one serious relationship before, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So when I was in that relationship it was, uh, my first time having sex.”
“Right, yeah, I remember you saying that.”
“Right.”
Silence filled the gap between them as Keyleth looked down at her hands, one hand fiddling with the nails on the other. Beau opened her mouth to say something again, anything to break the awkward silence, but again, she found some part of her she didn’t know existed forcing her to swallow the words.
Finally, Keyleth looked up again. “You like sex.”
“Fuck yeah.” Beau laughed and a tight cock-eyed smile etched itself on her face. “Sex, fuck, is like one of the greatest things in the world.”
Keyleth’s head had dropped again and the smile vanished from Beau’s face.
“Okay, what’s going on?” asked Beau, “I have to admit that I’m not used to people thinking that’s a problem. It’s usually what they’re after.”
“I’m sorry,” said Keyleth, “I’m sorry this is such a mess. I just—I just—“
Beau saw a few tears drip off of Keyleth’s downturned face.
“Hey, whatever you’re going to say, I promise it can’t be that big a fucking deal. I’ve seen you puking your guts out and I’m still here. If that isn’t a good start, I don’t know what is.”
Keyleth let out a wet laugh. “I just feel like me being me is going to screw things up from the start.”
It was Beau’s turn to laugh. “Shit, if you want to talk about messing things up, you’ve got the master right here! I can’t even give someone a compliment without them thinking it’s an insult.”
Keyleth lifted her head. Even though her eyes were wet, a small smile was on her face. “I don’t think that’s true. You’re … blunt, but you’re also just you. That’s refreshing. A lot of people have a whole bunch of layers and masks. It’s nice to meet someone who doesn’t.”
Beau couldn’t put her finger on why, but she felt a lightness in her chest from Keyleth’s words. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m just me. Take it or leave it.”
Keyleth took Beau’s hand again, clasping it between her palms this time. She leaned forwarded and gave Beau a warm kiss on the cheek. “I—I’d like to take it.” She sat back. “But—“
“Okay, seriously, you need to get this out.”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry.” Keyleth took a deep breath. “Just let me talk and—and I’ll be able to say this.”
Beau nodded, but she already felt distinctly uncomfortable. This conversation with Keyleth was like a rollercoaster: soaring to awesome heights and then immediately dropping to anxiety-inducing depths.
“So I told you I had one boyfriend before this and he’s the only person I had sex with. Well, the truth is, I never had any interest in anyone before him. I was kissed once before, but that was another man and he was the one who kissed me. And then, Vax—his name was Vax—told me he loved me. We had been friends for a while and one day he just … told me and told me how amazing he thought I was and that this wasn’t a demand, he just wanted me to know, and that if I didn’t feel the same way, that was fine too.
“Except I did feel the same way, but—things were so complicated and I was so afraid of feeling that way that it took me months to tell him.” Keyleth shook her head, as if remembering something. “Which isn’t the point. I guess the point is that I … I don’t have those feeling easily and when I did I didn’t trust myself because I didn’t understand them and I guess I still don’t. But I want to. Which is why I want to try this. Because I do feel that—that feeling … for you.”
She paused and looked up at Beau. Beau didn’t know what she looked like at that moment—she only knew what she felt, which was a warm glow in her face and a twist in her stomach—but it must not have been good because Keyleth dropped Beau’s hands and held them up in a nervous sign of reassurance.
“Not that I’m saying I love you! I don’t know you well enough, I—” Her voice was tight and panicked. “Just—that, well, uh, like when you plant a seed it’s—it’s not the plant, but if you don’t have the seed, you can’t have a plant.” She peered carefully at Beau. “That doesn’t make any sense does it?”
“No, yeah, that makes sense,” said Beau carefully, “Uh, it’s just a lot to process.”
“And look,” said Keyleth, “if you don’t feel the same way, if this is just fun, that’s fine too. I’m—I’m not sure if that’s something I can do, but it’s—“
“—better to be honest,” finished Beau.
“Yeah.”
Beau shrugged. “I can’t promise you anything. I’m a fucking mess and I’ve never tried to do more than fun hookups. Well, I guess I wanted more with Yasha, but, well, that didn’t work.”
“Is that the friend you started, uh, fucking?”
Beau chuckled. “I don’t know why, but I laugh every time you curse, but, like, you curse a normal amount. I’m the one that’s overblown.” Beau tugged at her topknot. “Yeah, that was Yasha.”
“So it doesn’t have to be just … physical for you?”
“I guess not,” said Beau, “But, if we’re being honest, that’s definitely my first line of attraction. I mean, you’re not even my type. Well, I guess you’re more my type not all made up, but, fuck, I got a look at your arms and your legs and, whew, just your whole body and I knew that I needed to get closer to that.”
Beau went to give Keyleth a smile, but noticed that she was back to worrying her hands.
“Damn it,” said Keyleth, “I’m sorry, but—okay, so reason number two why we shouldn’t do this.”
Beau hesitated and then moved her hand to haltingly pat Keyleth’s clenched hands. “So I like you. We can just try it.”
“I—I really want to be open about this. I feel like I’ll be leading you on if I don’t.”
“Okay?”
“You like sex. That’s really clear. I, um, well, I’m fine with sex. Uh, it can feel good.”
“Fuck yeah it can.”
“But, I don’t—that is—” Keyleth stopped and bit down on her lip. Her next words were an explosion. “I don’t want to have sex!” Keyleth’s hands dug into her knees and she stared at Beau.
Beau didn’t want it to be, but the words were like a slap across her face and she knew it had to be obvious to Keyleth. “I, uh, well that’s—” The words she wanted to say were fucking fantastic, but that part of her that seemed to be holding her in check this whole conversation reared up again and she simply said nothing.
“Shit,” said Keyleth, “Shit shit shit. I was trying to be so—so comprehensive with this. I was going to tell you about being asexual and what that meant—and then that just pops out.”
“That’s okay.” The words came out a whisper, so Beau repeated them, but this time they came out a little too loudly: “That’s okay.” And then it was too late to stop. “So you don’t want to have sex with me.”
“I don’t want to have sex with anyone.”
“But you had sex with your boyfriend.”
Keyleth’s face was steadily turning scarlet. “I’ve screwed this up, but will you listen to me?”
“I guess so.” Beau didn’t mean to throw the words like a dagger, but her emotions had a way of just … being, regardless of what she wanted.
Keyleth frowned and it pulled her eyes down. Beau could see the tears glistening in her eyes. “Maybe I was wrong about this. I—maybe it’s best if we just call it quits now.”
Keyleth started to stand up, but, before she got too far, Beau’s hand shot out and grabbed Keyleth’s wrist. “Look, I’m not—okay, I’m an asshole, but I’m not that kind of asshole, okay? I just—I feel things and that’s what they are. That doesn’t mean it’s everything I am.”
There was a moment when Beau thought Keyleth was going to pull away, when she was going to finish getting up, when there was a flash across Keyleth’s face of that look she had given Beau last night when Beau broke the bottle on the ground. But then Keyleth let herself fall back to the couch and Beau let go.
Beau wished she could drown out the sound of her heartbeat in her ears, but … this was also what she lived for: when things got tough, she fucking handled it, no matter what.
“You said you liked that I didn’t have any masks, right? Well, that cuts both ways. It means everything bad about me is out in the open too. My shit stinks and I can’t help that. But—but I can try and not be this specific kind of asshole.” Beau locked eyes with Keyleth, the mixture of anger and sadness making Beau feel ashamed. “I want to understand.”
The silence and the downcast eyes stretched on a little too long and Beau thought, “Yep, I’ve fucked this up like I always do.”
And then Keyleth said, “Okay.” She placed her hands carefully on her lap, finding a place for each finger and then she took a deep breath and looked at Beau.
“I am asexual. That means that I don’t have sexual desire for other people. I’m—I’m actually a gray ace? I think I have that right. I learned all of this from the internet because I didn’t even know it was a thing. Like, I didn’t know it when I was with Vax. Looking back, it makes perfect sense. I didn’t want him sexually, but I loved the closeness of sex. I loved the way it brought us together.” Keyleth laughed lightly. “It was like the ultimate hugging and kissing. And, I mean, I like getting off!” She glanced up at Beau trying to read her serious face, but Beau didn’t crack. “But I don’t really care about doing it with other people.” Keyleth stopped, gathering her thoughts and then continued, “Like, if I loved another person who was asexual, I’d never feel like I was missing something. Sex—sex just isn’t a thing I think about. It’s not something I want.” She gave a smile like a sick dog at Beau. “That’s—that’s it. I don’t know.”
Keyleth lapsed into silence and Beau didn’t know what to say, so she simply said, “Okay” and tried to brush the silence away by running her fingers through the fuzz on the back of her head. Then she took a deep breath.
“Okay, uh.” She stopped and licked her lips. “Okay, so, I’m … really into sex. That’s pretty obvious, huh?”
Keyleth gave a slight nod.
“If I’m being fucking honest that’s kind of all I’ve been into. Ever. Girls are hot and I like the feel of them. Short, tall, big, small, I don’t really care as long as they’re—fuck, I don’t know—hot. Able to make me wet. Muscles. Fuck! I don’t know! I—I’ve just known as long as I can remember: girls are hot. So, like, that’s just who I am. I can’t take that out of me.”
Keyleth couldn’t slump because her shoulders were already rolled forward, her face ducked behind her hair. Her voice was soft. “I understand.”
Beau could feel the hot anger bubbling at the back of her head—that burning frustration she got at herself when she knew she was messing something up. “No, uh, no, I—I’m not bring clear. I like sex. But that’s all I’ve ever gone after. I guess Yasha was different, but—” She shrugged. “—that’s what it is. Fuck, it seems like I can’t have sex and—and feelings.” Beau laughed, but cut it off when Keyleth didn’t smile.
“I guess that’s it, isn’t it,” Beau continued, “I’ve got feelings and I guess you do too.”
Keyleth brushed her hair out of her face. She was chewing her bottom lip, while interrogating Beau’s face, then nodded. “I look at you and I want to see what happens.”
One corner of Beau’s mouth twitched up into a smile. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good way to put it. I want to see what happens.” Then she grimaced and the corner tugged down. “But—and I’m just trying to be honest here—I don’t know how much of that is just sheer horniness. Like, I want you. I can’t help that. I can’t stop that.”
Keyleth squeezed her legs. “Sex isn’t—” She gazed around the room, as if searching for anything that could guide the conversation. “Sex isn’t off the table. We’ll—that is, I assume we’ll have sex. It’s just that …” Her words drifted away only to blow back a moment later like a leaf on a breeze. “… sex is emotional for me. It’s a point of connection. There’s never going to be drunken messing around or, or—” She laughed and covered her face. “—I don’t even know what people do!”
Beau smirked. “Fuck, I could—shit, nevermind.” She reached out and grabbed Keyleth’s hands and pulled them close. “So … I’m in, if you are. I just—I guess we need to talk about some … things.”
Keyleth looked at Beau’s light brown hands holding her close and she nodded. “Okay, but, first, I’d like to kiss you. Just a kiss.”
“Like I’m going to say no?”
Keyleth didn’t leap forward, she just slowly leaned in and then her lips were on Beau’s. Beau sank into the kiss, drinking deeply of Keyleth’s mouth. It was a mix of sweet mint, acid coffee, and, yes, the distant memory of vomit.
It was also one of the best kisses Beau had ever had.