Chapter Text
Papa was angry
Tsukasa winced when his small wrist was overtaken by papa's large brash grip as he was ripped away from his brother and dragged back upstairs. Amane turned, with the intent to follow only to be pinned down wide eyed to papa's cold stare as his grip on Tsukasa tightened. The older twin gulped and obediently lowered his head with his hands balled behind his back as the younger bit his lip to not make a sound. Apologies seared at the back of Tsukasa's throat that he dared not utter. They never work. It's his fault this is happening.
If he didn't complain so much he and Amane would have left before papa arrived. Amane wouldn’t be shaking now. All he does just makes Amane's life worse. His foot almost tripped on the last step up at papa's harsh tug, luckily he managed his footing so papa wouldn't grow angrier.
Panicked amber eyes caught one last glimpse of his brother through the upstairs railings before entering the hall. To the scratched and padlocked door.
Tsukasa went rigid at the sight of the door, eyes constricted and breathing shakily. He doesn't want to go in there.
He doesn't have a choice.
The moment the door banged open the younger twin was shoved in. The only source of light slamming closed behind him with a resounding click.
Tsukasa whimpered, sitting up from the wood floor, dismissing the sting on his wrist. Fangs gnawing at his lip while struggling to stay grounded, hating how his murky surroundings threatened to wash over him. He has to get over it.
His heartbeat and numbing claws said otherwise.
It was like a trigger. The moment he's inside the space becomes void, walls closing in as his mind becomes too muddled to understand what's happening or time spent. Shapes and darkness swirling around him, trying to creep and drag him under.
A chill clasped around him, Tsukasa crawled away rummaging for something in the dark, anything to keep his mind off this lingering muck on his skin.
Eyes and voices, all watching and whispering and laughing. It's his imagination. It has too!
It's cold, it's so cold. Dark, no light, no windows. His body won't stop shuddering enough to turn on a light. The floor's gravity is too strong, a wisp of anxiety within, and his body was pulled down. Tsukasa curled in on himself, waiting and listening. Watching the frigid silhouettes reach for him, but can never touch him. Only passing through.
It's bitter, freezing even his blood. Like someone is there. Only it can't be real.
Tsukasa shut his eyes and cringed away from the nonexistent touch. He hated it! Hated being here, hated being away from Amane! He hates himself for not understanding what papa wants or what others call normal.
Get over it! Papa's voice joins the orchestra with the bite of disdain.
He knows he’s not right in the head. Papa takes every moment he can to remind him. That's why papa hates him. He's not how papa wanted, Tsukasa is something to be locked away and never let out.
A shape made itself known among the blur.
It wasn't moving so Tsukasa took the chance. Reaching out, ice still nipping at the veins, his hand tangled in it. Catching him by surprise at how soft it is. It's fabric with stitched stars. Caressing it they were in the form of constellations.
”Amane…” Tsukasa called out to his twin in a whispered plea as he drew it near and wrapped the blanket around himself and over his head, like a child.
His hand trembled as fingers traced the stitches stars on the blanket. Tsukasa pulled it closer, it provided grounding. The room started to be clearer. Amane’s night air scent cleared his head some. It felt safe as if his twin we're here. Which is why Amane gave it to him.
Something loud shattered, causing amber eyes to jerk at the noise. That's right there is some light from under the door. It's blue so it must be night now. Another sound crashed, it came from downstairs. He breathed, and wearily looked around, the silhouettes turned back to furniture. He hoped Amane is alright.
The voices began to muffle out and the cold dissipates.
It's quiet now.
Hm Hm hmmm
He flinched away from the cold embrace, that melody is new, Tsukasa isn't sure if it's real. It sounds…
Hm Hm hmmm
It isn't real. It shouldn't be! It's in his head!
“I found you~”
Everything was tumbling down again only this time it was accompanied by screams and laughter.
“Tsukasa!”
Amber eyes blinked, meeting pained moon eyes. They're as real as the frantic heartbeat under Tsukasa's clenched hand over his chest ... As the heartbeat under his other hand circling Amane's bandaged neck.
”A-Amane…” Tsukasa’s throat caught feeling overused, ”did… I…”
He couldn't finish. Tears welled up. He didn't want to confirm it.
That it's always Tsukasa's fault Amane keeps getting hurt. He knows they can't be true! The rumors. Papa. He couldn't have done those things! He couldn't, he loves his brother too much to ever…
Is it his fault?
Everything was so blurry he remembers a voice, and the slithering feeling on his skin, then the shadows were swimming more wildly than before. Lashing out at the voice was what he wanted so why is Amane bleeding and bruised under him?
He flinched when hands held his own. Being gentle and warm as they pride him off. Being there. Being real. Tsukasa for once wishes this was a hallucination.
“Tsukasa, breathe. It's okay, ” Amane’s voice was too real, it made the sight of the bruises all the more sickening. The younger trembled as the other sat up and pet his hair in a comforting motion. ”There, there. It's alright Tsu. You're alright.”
His twin sounded so soft while hiding pain. Tsukasa doesn't dare look him in the eye, he doesn't want to see this moon eyes quiver like his bloodied shoulders are now.
We're the rumors true? He doesn't know anymore.
“...Amane…” Tsukasa choked. What is his reality anyways?
Wet droplets feel heavily from his cheeks.
It's unfair, he fell on his twin's chest and cried. Amane was so warm, holding him and humming to calm him down. He's too kind, too forgiving.
“I'm not going anywhere,” Amane murdered, holding him as if he were something dear.
They both sat there, feeling like an eternity before his tears dried. Tsukasa sniffled and shifted to better view his surroundings. His room is a lot less scary when Amane is here. The voices are gone and there's no more haunting humming. He sees that they were leaning on his bed which was the same as Amane’s, standard blue sheets and pillows. Unlike Amane's, which is decorated with hand drawn moon phases and stars, his had a wider range after drawings from crudely drawn trees and buildings, some papers were even on the floor waiting to be drawn. Now they collect dust since he can't be here unless he holds his brother's hand, papa wouldn't allow it. Unless it was to shut him up.
The door was open, nothing else filtered in through the moonlight. Until there was a shift.
A looming presence but no shadow, one that made Tsukasa feel cold.
He leaned away and found a pair of amber eyes staring back at him across at the entrance. They weren't moon eyes or empty. They were…
“Amane?”
Amane hummed and tried to follow what he was looking at with deep confusion.
“I can see mama.”