Chapter Text
Adora leaned back against the closed door.
“I don't know,” she said. “I don't know what the plan is.”
Bow and Glimmer answered in unison. “Well, obviously―”
“―we heal her.”
“―we don't heal her.”
Glimmer gasped and whirled. “Bow, she said she's after the Heart of Etheria! She's dangerous! And evil!”
“Well, she's not dangerous now,” Bow replied. “She's Adora's mother. Like, her actual flesh-and-blood mother.”
“Yeah, that doesn't mean squat to us.” Catra threw an arm around Adora's shoulders. “We never needed to know anything about our birth families before, and we don't now. We're all we need.”
“But what if I do need her?” Adora worried. “What if she knows something about me that changes everything?”
“Then she should've thought about that before she abandoned you!” Glimmer cried. “Am I the only one mad about this?”
“Of course not! I'm furious! I just―” Adora huffed. “It wouldn't be right to just―just let her die.”
She pursed her lips. Catra's hand snaked down from her shoulder to her wrist, and held it in quiet support.
Unbidden, a memory flashed in Adora's mind―holding Catra's hand in the Crystal Castle, clutching it as soon as she found her, where she watched the castle's defenses attack―watching helplessly as Shadow Weaver dropped her mask and obliterated the room.
Watching helplessly as Angella flew into the portal, seizing a sacrifice meant for Adora.
Watching helplessly as Light Hope faded away, as Mara's last holographic message collapsed.
Watching helplessly as Marlena was carried in, broken and bleeding.
“I have to heal her, and then...deal with confronting her afterward,” Adora said. “Either that, or I watch my mother die for the third time.”
Glimmer's anger shrank, to guilt and grief. She leaned against Bow.
“Or you don’t watch,” Catra countered. “You let her go.”
Adora shook her head, as if she could shake the memories away like raindrops from her hair. Whether or not she watched, it would still happen, and it would still be her fault.
“This might not just be about Adora, though,” Bow interjected. “This woman is...the greatest source of history we could hope for. She's a living First One. The last First One. Imagine the knowledge we could get about Adora's past, about Etheria's past―”
Catra snorted. “Okay, stop. Last First One? Do you even realize how stupid that sounds? Like, is she last or is she first?”
“Not the time, Catra!” Glimmer snapped.
Adora sighed. “As much as I understand how important that information would be, the First Ones...weren't good people. She's not a good person. All things considered, the universe would probably be better off without her.”
“Hey. Adora.”
Catra lightly punched her bicep and leaned on her shoulder.
“Forget about the universe,” she said. “What's gonna be better for you?”
Adora bit her tongue. She'd been working on letting go of the self-sacrifice impulse, but it was hard not to fall into sometimes. It was hard to know what she wanted. It was easier to think about everyone else, calculate the broadest possible benefit, divide everything into hard lines and numbers of morality. It was harder to face her own nebulous heart.
“Then we do what Bow said,” she tried. “We use her for information. We call up his dads and any other historians―”
“No. Catra's right.” Bow stepped to stand directly in front of her. “This is your mother. It's your life she's affected the most.”
He took her hands in his and held them tight.
“We love you, Adora, and we trust you,” he said. “Whatever you choose, we're right there with you.”
Glimmer stepped up as well, and laid a comforting hand on Adora's waist. “Always.”
Adora smiled. It was hard not to around her best friends.
“Okay,” she said. “Maybe I just need some time alone with her.”
“Of course.”
A squeeze of Bow's hands, and he turned to leave. A tight hug from Glimmer, and she followed him. A quick kiss for Catra.
“Yeah, I don't think so,” Catra smirked.
Adora rolled her eyes, but let Catra pull her into a longer kiss. It was their anniversary tomorrow, after all. They'd spent far too long not kissing to shortchange any of the time they had now.
“I'll stay with you if you need,” Catra murmured, holding her forehead to Adora's. “Just say the word, and I'll stay.”
“I know.” Adora breathed in, breathed out. “I'll be okay.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay.”
She pulled away, keeping a hold on Adora's hand until she was out of reach.
Adora closed her eyes as Catra's footsteps retreated down the hall. She faced the door and held out her hand.
“For the honor of Grayskull.”
The sword's hilt formed under her palm. She grasped it, and let its energy flow through her, beaming up her veins and lifting her off the ground. When she touched back down, she could still feel the glow in her skin.
She-Ra opened the door and approached the dying queen's bedside. She dropped to one knee, an open hand splayed above Marlena's chest.
Marlena stirred. She grunted, grimaced. Her eyes slitted open.
She lifted a hand and grabbed She-Ra's wrist.
She-Ra's light wavered.
“Don't,” Marlena said. “Please.”
She-Ra's brow arched, desperate and scared. “You'll die if I―”
“Please.”
She-Ra gritted her teeth, fingers trembling. Her hand closed into a fist.
The light faded.
Abruptly She-Ra fell back into Adora, her legs buckling and her back collapsing. The sword evaporated. She buried her face in the mattress.
The room was dark. Adora was crying.
“I'll stay with you,” she choked out, once she was able to breathe even a little without sobbing. “I―I'm going to stay with you.”
Marlena's hand was still around her daughter's wrist. And gently, sluggishly, she let go.
“Thank you.”
Adora sniffed sharply against the wetness in her nose; sniffed again, a weak attempt to clear her aching lungs. Gradually her tears subsided.
She pulled the nearby chair up close to the bed. She folded her arms atop the sheets and used them as a rest for her head.
Marlena's soft breath was steady. It was late. It was quiet. She fell asleep fast.
“You both turned out gay.”
Adora cracked her eyes open and sat up a little. Her arms tingled from the pressure she'd been putting on them, and the creases of the sheet had probably left red marks across her face.
Marlena was awake, almost. Her eyes were just barely open.
“I―” Adora rubbed her eye, crusted with sleep and dried tears. “What?”
“You fell in love with a girl. Adam only ever liked boys.” Marlena's voice was high and airy with exhaustion, like she didn't have the energy to speak any louder. “I always liked both, but the place and time where I grew up, I didn't even have the option to consider not marrying a man.”
Adora's heart fluttered a little. She was no historian, but that tickling urge for knowledge, to understand her own past, her own family...it was undeniable.
“Where did you grow up?” she asked.
“A suburb of Cincinnati, Ohio. U-S-A. Planet Earth. Nineteen fifty-six.”
None of those words meant anything to Adora. “Is that a place in Eternia?”
“No. Earth was another world. It's probably gone now, too.”
Adora lifted herself a few degrees more, just enough to bend her elbows up and lay her chin on the heels of her hands. “What was my brother like?”
Marlena smiled weakly. “Brave. Funny. Friendly. Smarter than he ever let on.” Her breath shook. “Loyal, too. He trusted and loved with all his heart.”
“Did you name him?”
“Mm-hm. Adam's the name of...well, what some people believe was the name of the first human on Earth. I always thought it sounded princely.”
“What would…“ Adora hesitated. Closed her eyes again, briefly; breathed her way through. “If you had kept me. What would you have named me?”
“Your father wanted to name you after some old Eternian goddess. Veena. Doesn't that sound ridiculous?”
“No.”
“Sounds like the name of some stuck-up gasbag. Like an old opera singer made of more jewelry than flesh.”
Adora stifled a snort, but allowed herself a smirk. Marlena was staring at the ceiling again. If she wasn't still half asleep, she was probably delirious from pain.
Marlena turned her head to look at Adora. Her eyes looked paler than before in the dim moonlight. She slowly lifted one hand to Adora's cheek.
Adora flinched.
But this was different―new. This wasn't Shadow Weaver's capture or Angella's goodbye. Marlena touched her cheek with the back of her hand, her knuckles callused and light. She wasn't trying to hold on to her. She touched her like she was made of marble, cold and distant, but awesome and precious. Like she still couldn't really believe she was there. Like she couldn't quite reconcile the woman Adora was now with the infant she must have known.
“I was a pilot, back on Earth,” Marlena said. “That was a hard thing for a woman to get respect doing, but I had some heroes I could look back on who'd done it before me. Well, one in particular that I really loved.” Her smile strengthened the slightest bit. “I think I would've named you Amelia. After her.”
Adora swallowed. “Amelia.”
“Mm-hm.”
She tilted her head in a slight nod. “It's pretty.”
“Mm-hm.”
Her hand fell. The spots of Adora's skin she'd been touching suddenly felt cold, mourning her absence.
Adora let her own hands fall, her arms folding again, her weight on her elbows. She had more questions, so many more questions―but she didn't have time for them all. She couldn't even think of where to start. More questions about her brother, about her father, about her cousins and aunts and grandparents and great-grandparents. About Eternia, about Earth. About Amelia.
About herself.
One question burned hotter than the rest, at the forefront of her mind. It was probably impertinent. It was probably cruel. But she didn't know how much time she had. She couldn't let her mother go without ever knowing.
“Why'd you give me up?”
“To destroy the Horde.”
“Yeah, but...why? Why would you―how could―” She cut herself off, rifling through her words. “Why was that so important to you?”
It was almost what she really wanted to say.
Why was loving me less important than hating them?
But in her heart, she probably already knew. The greater good. The broadest possible benefit.
Marlena didn't say anything for a long time. For a second Adora worried she'd crossed a line, and the queen wasn't willing to answer. For another second she worried she'd spoken too late, and Marlena was gone, and she'd wasted her last moments.
Then, finally, Marlena chuckled, rasping and short.
“I thought they were just more Russians,” she said. “More enemies to defeat. And once I became queen, and actually had the power to defeat them...maybe it went to my head.” Her chuckle faded. “Amazing what your deathbed will help you realize, isn't it.”
It wasn't a question. It didn't expect a response. Adora stayed silent.
Marlena spoke without looking at her.
“Are you happy, Princess?”
“Not at this exact moment, no,” Adora said bluntly.
“Are you happy here, in Etheria? If you had a choice, would you stay?” Marlena asked. “Are you loved?”
If she had a choice, if she had a choice. She didn't have a choice. She'd never had a choice. Everything she ever did had been someone else's machinations.
But...no, she did. She chose to leave the Horde. She chose to break the Sword of Protection. She chose to save the world.
She chose Catra. She chose to be loved.
“Yes,” she said. “Yeah.”
Marlena's eyelids fell closed, and Adora knew that now they wouldn't open again.
“Good, then,” the queen said, more breath than voice, more rattle than breath. “Good.”
By the time the sun rose, Marlena had stopped breathing.
They didn't quite hold a proper funeral, but they invited George and Lance to come share anything they knew of First Ones' burial traditions. They wrapped her in an empty white shroud they'd found in a crumbling temple. They laid her in a small boat, coated with oil and painted with runes of farewell, and set it afloat toward Bright Moon's falls.
Adora had told them everything Marlena said over the night, but during the ceremony, she was silent.
“Bet Entrapta woulda loved to get her hands on that corpse,” Catra muttered.
Glimmer scoffed. “Sucks to be her, I guess.”
Bow nocked an arrow, the tip already alight, and let it fly for the drifting pyre.
december
The queen bore fraternal twins, one a deep brown almost pink and one a soft pink almost lavender, and loved them with all she had the moment she laid eyes on them. The queen's consort might have loved them even more, if that were possible.
Etherian tradition was to have a few names picked out for the child before they were born―one gender-neutral or two to three options the child could choose from as they grew. Glimmer and Bow had made the decisions months ago, but kept it a surprise until they were ready to invite the other half of their squad into the birth chamber.
Adora timidly poked her head through the door, her hand tight around Catra's. “Are the babies okay?”
Glimmer grinned, and it was hard to tell whether the excess shine on her skin was perspiration or just pure joy. “Come inside already! They want to meet you!”
Catra's head appeared directly below Adora's. “They're babies. They can't want anything yet except food.”
Bow crossed the room and yanked them in, forcing through their hesitations and protests. “You're not gonna hurt them just by being nearby. I promise.”
Micah gave his daughter one last kiss on the forehead and left with Castaspella and the midwife. Bow's fathers would be at Bright Moon in a day or two, and the other princesses would arrive for a massive celebration in a week, but the rest of this night was meant just for the Best Friend Squad. The door shut softly.
After a final tentative second, Catra crawled into Glimmer's bed and peered over her shoulder at the twins. Adora still stood stiff; Bow steered her by the shoulders to the nearest chair and sat her down.
“This one is Stiletto,” Glimmer said, gently bouncing the baby in her left arm. “Keeping the tradition from Bow's family.”
“Of course when you have to pick a weapon name you go for the most gussied-up one imaginable,” Catra teased, twirling a dark downy lock of hair around a delicate fingertip. “Maybe I'll just call 'em Shiv instead.”
“Oh, you won't think it's gussied up once I teach him how to really use a stiletto knife. After I learn how to use them.”
“And Adora, this…“ Bow nodded to Glimmer and lifted the smaller child from her arm. He cradled its tiny head and neck with one hand, its body resting neatly across his forearm. He knelt beside Adora's chair and held the baby out for her to take. “This is Amelia.”
“Or, if she prefers, when she's older,” Glimmer said, “Adam.”
Adora blinked, eyes suddenly stinging.
She'd held babies before, of course she had. First orphans that she thought the Horde was helping like she thought they'd helped her, then the children of happy Etherians grateful to She-Ra, then every one of Bow's many nieces and nephews once things had settled down. She knew how to hold a baby. She was practically an expert on it. There was no reason for this baby to be any different.
She bent her arms into a snug, secure nest, exactly according with her expertise. She made sure the baby's head was supported in the crook of her elbow, and that she held her close enough to her chest to mimic the squeezy comfort of the womb but not so close that she squished her or suffocated her or crushed her teensy fragile body like an eggshell―
Amelia squirmed a little, eyes squinting up tight and one arm of pillowy fat and gossamer bone flailing out in a stretch. Adora's breath hitched in her throat. Then Amelia relaxed, and her squinty eyes popped open.
She was beautiful. She was beautiful and perfect and her eyes were a dark, glistening blue, staring right at Adora, studying her, curious and marveling and...loving. Adora loved this baby like nothing else and Amelia loved her right back.
“Oh,” Adora whispered. “Oh, wow.”
“She's amazing, huh?” Bow smiled.
“Bow, she's perfect,” Adora squeaked. Tears were already flowing freely down her cheeks. “I love her. I want to keep her.”
“Well, yeah,” Glimmer laughed. “You didn't think we were gonna raise them without you, did you?”
“You're their family, too,” Bow said, lightly knocking Adora with his shoulder.
Catra chuckled. “Hey, Adora―they're the best of both worlds. They're not our flesh-and-blood family, but they're the flesh and blood of the people we love.”
“Aww.” Glimmer ticked her tongue. “Catra loooves us―”
“Oh, shut up―”
Glimmer slung her free arm around Catra's neck and pressed a loud smooch to her cheek. Catra couldn't shove her away without disturbing Stiletto, and thus had no choice but to accept the kiss.
Adora could feel Amelia's hummingbird heart thrumming hot and strong in her little chest. The warm beat was proof that all this was real. It wasn't a wish or a fantasy. It was the future she'd chosen. It was the family she'd chosen.
She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
If she'd had a choice. There was no telling what would have happened if she chose then, if she chose that, if she chose a hundred times over.
Right now, she was here, and she was choosing this, and she was happy.