Chapter Text
As so often happened in El Paso, the rain started without warning. Ari was halfway to Dante’s house when the sky opened up, making it nearly impossible to see the road in front of him, even with the windshield wipers on high. Fortunately, it was a short distance, and he knew the way so well he probably could have driven there with his eyes shut.
He was a little surprised that he wasn’t afraid, but then again, he wouldn’t have been driving over to Dante’s right then if he was. It was the lack of fear that had made him decide to drop in on Dante. Kind of a full-circle thing.
He parked his truck in the street, not wanting to block in either of the Quintanas’ cars without knowing what they were doing later, and darted across the lawn to the front door. Even though he ran fast he was still nearly drenched when he leapt up onto the covered porch.
He let himself in and stopped short, because Sam and Mrs. Quintana were standing right there in the foyer, putting on raincoats.
“Ari!” Sam cried, sounding (as always) like he was delighted to see him. Ari smiled and kissed and hugged them both. He had to side-hug Mrs. Quintana because of her baby bump.
“Where are you headed in all this rain?” Ari asked.
“Rain can’t stop date night,” Sam said, winking. “Dante’s upstairs. Head on up.”
“Thanks. Have fun,” Ari said. They stepped on to the porch and as the front door closed behind them, Ari saw Mr. Quintana opening an umbrella.
Ari dashed up the stairs, taking them two at a time like he normally did. He stopped at Dante’s closed door, relieved that Sam hadn’t mentioned Daniel being around. He was going to do this regardless, but it would be a hell of a lot better if that asshole wasn’t there to witness it.
He knocked softly, and there was a pause before he heard Dante’s voice, a little snuffly, call out, “Yes?” Ari wondered for a second if he was sick, but surely Sam would have mentioned it.
He opened the door to Dante sitting in a ball on his bed, knees to chest, wiping his cheeks aggressively. This pulled him up short; it was definitely not what he was expecting. He knew the Quintanas didn’t know their son was up here crying, or they wouldn’t have happily skipped out the door on their date.
“What’s wrong?” Ari asked, closing Dante’s door behind him.
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter,” Dante said, wiping his cheeks again, clearly trying to turn off the tears he was in the midst of shedding.
“Nothing? Bullshit. What’s wrong?” Ari crossed to the bed and sat down at the end of it, a few feet away from where Dante had his back to his pillows.
“You don’t want to know, Ari,” Dante said, his voice just a little sharp.
“I do, though.” Ari paused. “Is it Daniel?” Dante gave him such a disgusted look, he leaned back. “Woah, okay, Dante, I didn’t mean anything by that. I just don’t know who else would make you cry.”
“You really don’t, do you?” Dante asked in a defeated tone.
Tentatively, Ari placed his hand on top of one of Dante’s feet. “Please tell me.”
Dante sighed. “It’s not anything unusual, Ari. I just have to cry sometimes.”
This was news to Ari. He knew Dante was sensitive, and cried fairly easily, but he didn’t know he cried regularly. “But why?” he persisted.
Dante shut his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and met Ari’s gaze solidly. It broke Ari’s heart a little to see how red-rimmed and exhausted Dante’s eyes were.
“You really want to know?” Dante asked. Ari nodded.
Dante looked at him, a single tear escaping that he roughly wiped away. “I just...really want you,” he finally admitted. “It’s like an ache in my bones. The longing.”
Ari blinked at him a couple of times, speechless. Overjoyed. He had come here for one reason, but he hadn’t known what to expect and frankly this declaration was better than he had dared to hope.
“I…” He swallowed and tried again. “I thought you were over me? What about Daniel?”
“Ari!” Suddenly Dante sounded exasperated. “I told you when I kiss him I pretend I’m kissing you. That’s the whole problem. Look, I like kissing. I like affection, and romance, and I’m definitely sure that eventually I’ll like sex. And I want those things with you, but if you don’t want them with me, I’m not just going to live my life without them. I’ll find other people to have them with. But it’ll always be you, in my head.” He glared at Ari for just a second before his face melted into a horrified expression. “Shit. I’m sorry. That’s so unfair. It’s not your fault you…it’s not...you haven’t done anything wrong.” Dante shook his head helplessly and covered his face with his hands. “I told you you didn’t want to hear it,” he said, his voice muffled behind them.
Ari couldn’t help but smile, and when he did, he felt it stretch across his face and fill his heart and flood the room. Dante must have felt it, too, because he looked up in confusion, his face streaked with a new set of tears.
“Why the hell are you smiling, Ari?” he asked.
“Dante. I came here for a specific reason,” Ari began. “And I didn’t know how it would go. For all I knew, Daniel would be here. For all I knew, you were really into him now.”
Dante shook his head slowly. “Just you,” he said softly, still sounding defeated. “I’m always only into you.”
Ari pulled his legs onto the bed so that he could turn and face Dante directly. He bit his bottom lip. He could feel his heart pounding, now that the moment was here. He wasn’t scared, exactly. He was done being scared. But what he was about to do was monumental. It would change everything. So maybe he was a little scared.
Not enough to change his mind, though.
“I’m into you, too,” he said.
Dante’s eyes filled with shocked hope for a split second before growing wary. “Don’t play with me, Ari.”
“I’m not.” Ari scooted closer to Dante on the bed, and seemingly unconsciously, Dante opened up to him. He let his knees fall open, slid his feet to either side so that Ari could slot himself between his legs. “Look, Dante. I’ve been fucking terrified. I think my family might disown me, like they did my brother, and it’s not like I have any friends other than you. And you’ll get tired of me eventually. You’ll realize you’re way out of my league. So it’s this huge risk.” Dante was watching him, wide-eyed, clearly trying not to dare to hope. Ari took a deep breath, pushed onward despite how his heart was racing. It felt a little like he was jumping off a cliff and he just hoped he’d land as softly as he thought he would.
“But the ache in your bones?” he said quietly, slowly. “The longing? I have that, too.” He snaked his arms under Dante’s bent knees, put his hands on his thighs. “And I can’t take it anymore.”
Dante stared at him, tears still streaming, but they were different now. He seemed like he was having trouble getting a deep breath as he processed everything Ari had said.
Ari leaned forward on his knees, needing to touch Dante. He had needed to touch him for a long, long time. He stopped an inch from Dante’s mouth. “May I…”
He didn’t even get the question out before Dante was kissing him, his hands cupping Ari’s face, and it was even better than Ari had imagined. He freed one arm from under Dante’s knee so that he could take him by the back of the neck and pull him closer. They fell back onto Dante’s pillows, and Ari couldn’t believe they hadn’t been doing this all along, that he had let fear keep him from such happiness for so long. He grasped at Dante and Dante grasped at him, like they couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t have enough contact. And right then Ari knew, beyond any doubt, that it would be worth it. No matter if his worst fears came true, it would be worth it to have what he had right that minute.