Chapter Text
Bucky’s POV
Dear diary,
I was thinking about life recently and how it has flew by. After Raven died I didn’t know what to do, I spiralled and didn’t know how to live without her.
Then I read about a man who tragically lost his wife and the mother of his child in a car accident. He was going through a hard time and had found out he needed a transplant, I can’t remember which organ now but when his wife was killed, a few days later he was told they’d found a match and that it was his wife’s organ. Turns out she had been his match all along and it took her dying to save him.
I find similarities to mine and Raven’s lives. Soon after she died I went into cyro to allow the scientists with their advanced technology and medicines to find a cure.
Eventually they did and I was woken up. A lovely young woman called Shuri told me that they had used Raven’s mind and memories and put them in my mind. I didn’t ask how it was done but apparently it was successful. Every time I hear one of the trigger words or something Hydra related my mind will think about one of her memories and I won’t become brainwashed again.
We all know she was the one thing that could break the Winter Soldier spell, one gentle touch of her hand, a glimpse of those sparkling green eyes, a kiss from the lips that can create a smile that brightens up a room or simply the sound of her voice. Just one of those things brought me back every time. She was the one thing I could remember even when I didn’t know who I was and the amazing scientists here in Wakanda were able to use that.
Raven cured me. I just wish she could see it but then I think of the man and his wife and that some people are soulmates and meant to be together while others are soulmates and meant to be apart.
I have a lot to be thankful for in life. Soon after Raven’s death Pepper decided it was best if I started looking after the twins a few times a week, to get them used to having a dad in their lives and to allow me to get to know them.
At the start it was difficult. They had never met me, they only knew the amazing memories and stories Raven had told them about me but they didn’t know much about my dark side or my past and it took a few years before I told them the whole truth. Once they learnt that I wasn’t a completely perfect man they seemed to actually relate to me more as a dad and as a human being. It felt nice. It still does.
They moved into a place I had bought a few months after we started to get to know each other. They were still grieving for their mum and I was grieving for the woman I loved most in this world, the woman I always will love most so the first few weeks were strange. We talked about Raven but at the same time we didn’t. Then our first Christmas came and we received a small box filled with pictures Raven had taken of her and the twins and the Avengers and old pictures from the forties that she had found. It was a memory box that me, Salve and Theo started to add to. We met up with some of the kids of Raven’s old school friends too. This allowed us to talk more, we talked about what we remembered about her and I told them stories of how we met and how I always felt about her. Them loving that we started out hating each other.
Soon though the twins grew up, way too fast, and started to live their own lives. Salve moved to London soon after finishing high school. She now works for MI6 as an Intelligence Officer and Code Breaker, has a loving husband called Sean and is expecting my first grandchild.
Theo still lives at home but is working on the ‘moving out project’ which will free up some space in the house. He now owns a garage in upstate New York, along with Sam’s son and loves that he gets to meet a different celebrity every day because apparently I don’t cut it in that World anymore. He also helps out at a local animal rescue centre which I know would make his mother proud. She was always a.. what do they call it nowadays.. ‘tree hugger’ but really she just wanted the best World and environment for our children and animals to grow up in.
We all meet up at Christmas and during Summer and have wonderful dinner parties. On Raven’s birthday, no matter where we are in the World, we look up at the sky and thank her for giving us life.
I still miss Raven every day, who wouldn’t? That smile that lit up every room she was in, those sparkling green eyes that could make you fall in love in a split second and a mind that could easily rival Einstein’s. I wish we could have spent the rest of our lives together. But at the same time I think we are soulmates who were just never meant to be together.
If Raven hadn’t died, I probably would never have been cured. So in a heartbreaking way she kept her promise.
She wanted to find a cure for me one day.. turns out she was it.
Bucky.