Chapter Text
She walked for a while and Mr. Houston was right. It was cold as balls. She had been walking for about 15 minutes in nothing but her thin-ass jacket, leggings, and her striped t-shirt. She was sure if it was humanly possible, she’d be frozen at that point. It was snowing, and if Lex wasn’t so drained she might’ve thought it looked nice. She wanted to talk. She really did. About sports, or even politics, which she knew nothing about. She wanted to talk about anything other than the one thing she hadn’t stopped thinking about for weeks.
Lex went into a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes. Becky had encouraged her to quit because of the health factors or something like that. She must’ve figured it worked because she stopped bothering the teen, but she just hadn’t taken a break because her pack was empty, Lex could care less about her wellbeing.
She pulled out her ID and slipped the attendant a 10 to pay for the pack. Suddenly she found herself back where she always ended up. On a cold park bench with a smoke in her hand. It was her safe space. No one ever bothered a kid who looked like she had nothing to live for.
When she smoked, the constant headache of everything in her life calmed. It was still there just quieter. Drinking helped too but Tom had the cabinets locked and she didn’t keep her fake ID on her. She contemplated walking back to the trailer just to get it, but she knew the headache would come right back up at the sight of her mom. She kept the ID in the little crevice between her mattress and the shitty drawers she built. She kept a lot of shit there, a portion of the California fund, Hannah’s report cards, and anything else she felt the need to hide. Her mom wasn’t smart enough to look there for the past 18 years and Lex doubted she had now.
She closed her eyes for just a moment but when she opened them, the only person who would bother a teen who looked like she had nothing to live for: an alcoholic looking for something to put his dick in.
He said something about going back to his place, but Lex just ignored him, moving closer to the edge of the bench. Even though every word he spoke was slurred she really hoped he could take a hint. Of course, he didn’t. He moved closer and then he touched her thigh, that was when she snapped.
She tried to slap him but he grabbed her arm. He was fucking strong to be that drunk. He twisted it in a way that it definitely shouldn’t have gone, but it didn’t pop so she thought it was fine. Before she could fully process what was happening an arm was held tightly against her neck. She wouldn’t let herself die to some perv in a public park. She shouldn’t have left. It was dumb to get angry, Tom was only trying to help. Plus, if she hadn’t gotten angry she wouldn’t have been struggling to breathe, again, in a fucking public park. She strained her neck to try and struggle out of it and she could’ve sworn his eyes were glowing, but maybe that was because she was losing consciousness. They were bright green. A familiar color.
Fuck. Sherman. The entirety of Black Friday flashed through Lex’s eyes. Everything from Linda ruling over her cult to Frank dying.
But when she opened her eyes she saw nothing. It was black. Was that death? Was it that short? If she was in a coma that would really suck, but at least Hannah was with people who seemed to care about her almost as much as she did.
Suddenly something she remembered came into frame. The army guy who gave her the gun. He looked tired, more worn out than when she last saw him. “Alexandra Foster, we meet once again,” She laughed as much as she could through a chokehold. “In case you don’t remember, I’m general John Macmamera of P.E.I.P, we call it ‘peep’.” Oh, so that’s what she was supposed to find out. That made sense. It only took some freak choking her out, Xander really could’ve just told her instead.
She reached out as she had before. Last time he gave her a gun so maybe he had something for her this time.
“Give her the knife!” A voice she could recognize even with the low ringing in her ears. Was she really dying? Because there was no plausible reason for Ethan’s voice to be there.
The general sighed, glaring towards a space that she couldn’t see. He pulled out a knife, Lex found it funny that even in her final moments her brain was committed to this scene. If she hadn’t died so young she would’ve made a great actress. Somehow, she still found herself trapped in the drunk's arms, though she couldn’t see him. She strained to get the knife and soon enough the weird snake-like grip was in her hand. The metal was cool against her fingers, which was weird considering this was all a dream. If she was dying how could she still feel. “You’re not dead, soldier. Keep fighting. They’re still out there. Don’t fall victim to their traps, understand?” Soldier . What did that mean? Did something deep down really wish that she was whoever Xander meant to call. She nodded. If it was really her deepest desire she might as well let it play out before she found out what death felt like.
“Stay safe, Lex.”
And with that, she was back in the park. With the knife. With the knife. She was losing wind quickly so she did the only logical thing left to do, she stabbed him in the calf, shoving him on the ground with her elbow. As weird as it seemed, it worked. Lex was free and the guy’s eyes flickered between the glowing green and their original color. She looked around and everything was the same. The badly carved hearts were still in the trees, the snow was still falling, she was still fucking freezing, but she was free. The knife was in her hand. It was a really fucking cool knife. She was just curious as to how it came into real life. Unless… no. It couldn’t have been. She heard Ethan’s voice and Ethan was dead. It was just her mind playing tricks on her. Then, how’d she got the knife? No one would’ve just handed it to her.
She heard a grunt as the guy slowly got up and she ran. It hadn’t been too far, she had just walked slow on the way up. It was a straight shot back to Mr. Houston’s.
~
General Macnamara was pacing, once again, but this time Ethan was on his feet as well.
“I don’t get why I couldn’t help. I know her better than either of you do!” He trailed behind the General, keeping up with his steady pace.
He huffed, which frightened Ethan for a moment, but he wouldn’t let that show. “Because, to her, you’re still deceased. Dead. Six-feet-under. She can’t know you’re alive. If she knows then she gets conflicted. Conflicted on whether she’s seeing me as an homage, or whether she’s just as much a goner as you should’ve been.”
They were just staring at each other for a moment. Ethan was lucky, he knew that. He was lucky in the way that Wiggly hadn’t completely taken over like some of the others. John had explained that it was because Ethan was dead, while the others were still alive. Their emotions could be manipulated, while he was just lifeless. A sort of marionette, though John said that if they got out, he wasn’t sure how he’d react. That was because, in physical form, Ethan was still Wiggly’s doll. He was used to serving Wiggly and then forgotten about. Which sucked, but was preferred to becoming one of his sniggles or whatever. “Alright. Fine, just promise me that I get to see her at some point. Or at least be some sort of mystic guider.”
“Maybe.”
“That’s not a promise.” Ethan knew he was being immature, but he also knew he wanted to see Lex one last time before whatever the fuck Wiggly did to him finally killed him.
John ran a hair through his hair. His hair looked soft, especially for not being washed for however long they were in there. It made sense though. There wasn’t really anything that could harm his hair, they were basically in a sensory tank dimly lighted by green. “I can’t promise you that. If it’s safe for Lex, then it’s a possibility. Otherwise, there’s no way to tell.”
Although not the answer Ethan wanted, he nodded. If seeing or hearing him caused any sort of harm to her, he’d gladly tape his mouth shut. He’d be fine staying in the Black and White for eternity if that’s what it took. “I’m gonna go take a walk, I think.”
John looked at him skeptically, “Alright, don't stray.” Ethan gave him a thumbs up even though he had no clue what that meant.