Chapter Text
Finn had Poe sit at his desk while Finn quickly changed the sheets on the bed. He made a mental note to ask the medbay if they had anymore sheets that they could have while Finn washed the rest. The Resistance Base didn't have a ton of resources and Finn didn't want to take away from those that were sick or injured, but since Poe's nightmares were a near continuous adventure every night, it was becoming difficult for Finn's laundry duties to keep up.
"There, all clean," he announced as he drew back from the bed and clapped his hands together. "Ready to get some sleep?"
Poe's gaze turned spacey as he shifted from one foot to another while seeming to mutter under his breath. Finn could tell that his thoughts were racing without even saying anything. Finn decided that he would climb in first and let Poe climb in after him, hopefully that that would pull his attention.
Finn shifted over on top of the warm sheets while having the comforter turned down as he waited for Poe to join him. It took a few moments before Poe seemed to snap out of whatever had caused him to freeze before climbing into bed beside Finn. He laid on his side facing Finn, but he was so far away from him that if he shifted just one more inch, he would’ve fallen off the bed. He looked to Finn almost pleadingly in the honey colored glow that shadowed the room from the small lamp.
It was difficult for Finn to remain quiet when he had so much that he wanted to say. However, he knew that he had to allow Poe to reach out to him. If Poe wanted to connect to Finn, then he had to be the one to verbalize it or Finn feared that he may do something that Poe wasn't alright with.
"Finn," Poe finally croaked after what felt like a lifetime to Finn.
Finn's eyes had drifted shut and he had nearly been asleep when Poe spoke. He instantly opened his eyes and saw Poe staring at him fearfully. "Yeah," Finn answered as he struggled not to drift off once again.
"Hold me," Poe requested in a soft and almost small voice. He looked down to the space between himself and Finn as if terrified of what he had just said or Finn turning him away.
Finn managed to stretch out a hand before curling his finger and tipping Poe's chin upward so that Poe had to look him in the eye. "Turn off the lamp and come here."
Poe rolled to his shoulder as he strained to switch the lamp off. He then shifted over to Finn with Finn pulling Poe close into his strong arms. This wasn't a totally uncommon occurrence, but Poe seemed a lot more willing and comfortable with him. "Comfortable," asked Finn. He didn't want to hold Poe too tightly and cause another panic attack, but he wanted Poe to know that he was loved too. It was a delicate balance that Finn struggled to find.
Poe snuggled closer to Finn with his head rested against Finn's chest. Their legs slightly tangled together, but Finn didn't dare move for fear that he would startle Poe away.
“Yes I’m comfortable," Poe rasped. "Are you?"
"I'm always comfortable when I'm with you," Finn told him sweetly as he leaned forward and kissed Poe lovingly on the cheek. He longed to plant a kiss on Poe's lips, but he could tell that Poe wasn't ready for that in this moment.
Poe couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm not sure about that. I know that I make things damn difficult sometimes," he huffed sadly.
Finn hated to hear Poe speak like that and he knew that Poe was aware of that. He decided to choose his battles with this carefully so that it didn't start an argument with him. "It's what we do for each other. We're there for each other through the good times and bad."
"The times seem to be all bad recently," Poe continued in the same sullen tone his voice seemed to always have now in days. "I just don't understand how you could think that I’m attractive in the slightest."
"Are you kidding? You're my sexy pilot," Finn exclaimed, feeling a new sense of awareness seem to spread through him. Yes, he was exhausted, but never too tired to have these important conversations with Poe. "And I meant what I said about falling in love with you for so many reasons. The fact that you have scars and burns on you doesn't change any of that. I'm just hurt that you didn't want me to see. Did you think I was that shallow that I would leave you if you felt you were less than perfect?"
Poe shook his head against Finn's chest, his curly hair tickling Finn's chin in process. "No, but who would want to see something like that everyday?"
"It's not the only thing that makes you, Poe, not even close. It doesn't change anything about how I feel about you. Nothing will, I promise. You can trust me with all of your insecurities, but you need to be honest with me. I can't help if I don't know," Finn murmured.
"I know."
"And you also can't wait either. If it bothers you that minute then you say something. If you're bothered by your scars, tell me. If you think that this is too much for me to handle, tell me. If you feel you want to try something else that may help, tell me."
"I know."
Poe was saying all the right things, but Finn wasn't sure how much he was really retaining. Finn wasn't in Poe's head, which meant that he just needed to trust him for the time being since he couldn't do anything else about it. He wanted to continue, but he felt Poe yawn against him and he was then reminded how late at night it really was. There would be time to have this conversation later, or at least Finn hoped. He never seemed to be able to bring up any difficult topics when he needed to just because of how difficult he knew that it was for Poe. He was always trying to make things easier on Poe, and he suddenly wondered if what he had been doing in the past wasn't actually helping as much as he would've liked to believe.
Now wasn't the time for any of that. He and Poe both needed rest. They would talk about this later or maybe they wouldn't. At this point Finn didn't have an opinion on it. He was aware of the problem and so was Poe. They would be able to at least try to work through it in the future if either of them deemed it necessary.
"I love you, Finn," Poe mumbled as his body seemed to grow limp as he gave into his exhaustion as he drifted off into sleep.
While he ordinarily wouldn't have been shocked to hear those words come out of Poe’s mouth, it caused Finn to feel his excitement rise. Normally he was the one that said it first to Poe, so the fact that Poe said it first to him just warmed him up from his toes to his ears. "I love you too, Poe, and nothing will ever change that."
The End