Chapter Text
Merwaine pt 2
The first time Merlin saw Gwaine again after everything that happened, nothing happened. They were out on a hunt with the king and the other knights. There was no opportunity to talk, barely even a chance to share a meaningful look across the trail. In fact if Merlin didn’t know better he would say Gwaine was purposely avoiding his gaze. That thought stung a bit, but he supposed he didn’t want it to go anywhere and so simply forgetting it ever happened would be the best option.
A few days later though and the inevitable came to pass. Merlin was sat by a river, refilling water skins for the whole group, when he heard a rustle in the trees behind him. He slowly pulled a dagger from his belt and turned around.
“Who’s there?” He called out.
“It’s only me!” A resigned voice came from the bushes and Gwaine stepped out, his hands held up apologetically. “Arthur sent me to check you were alive, but I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Ok.” Merlin said quietly before turning back to him the river. A dead silence filled the air.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Gwiane stated quietly. “Not that I blame you.”
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Merlin replied simply. “Don’t worry I get it,” he felt himself start to ramble, “I should have apologised sooner, it wasn’t fair of me, what I did, oh and I forgot to give your shirt back, I’m sorry I just didn’t want it to become some big awkward thing. Which I guess it has now and that’s completely my fault, I know that. I never should have done it and I am so sorry for disrupting your life like that. I can’t apologise enough.”
“I understand,” Gwaine smiled a fake smile. “Everyone does things they regret when they’re that drunk. I know I have before.”
“Before?” Merlin asked before he could stop himself. “Wait no don’t answer that.”
“Want to go back to pretending all this never happened?” Gwaine asked with a shrug and a sympathetic smile.
“I think that’s for the best,” Merlin almost whispered the words, staring resolutely into the river.
“Yeah that makes sense.”
——
“Merlin hasn’t smiled in over a week,” Arthur noted suddenly one morning at breakfast.
“Yes I had noticed that.” Gwen replied.
“I wonder why...?” Arthur mused. Then he started to stand up. “Oh well-“
“Sit back down.” Gwen grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the table.
“What did I do?” He asked in mild confusion.
She raised an eyebrow at him but got no response.
“Something obviously happened between him and Gwaine!” She said exasperated. “You basically outed Merlin’s feelings for him the other week, clearly he felt the same?”
“Wait...?” A realisation dawned on Arthur. “They aren’t together?”
“I love you.” Gwen said patiently, a hand on his arm, “but sometimes you can be really oblivious.”
“But they can’t go three minutes without flirting?” He exclaimed in shock, “how are they not together?”
“Well they aren’t,” Gwen stated very matter of fact, “and you are going to go fix it.”
“But why me?” He protested. Gwen shot him a look. “Fine! I’ll talk to Gwaine.”
“Good,” Gwen replied with a happy smile. “Off you go then.”
Arthur grumbled the whole way down to the knights quarters where he stood, arms folded in the door way.
“Gwaine,” he called, “we’re going for a walk.”
“What did you do this time?”
“Nothing I swear.” Gwaine groaned. Not again...
The two of them slowly walked along a wooded path just outside the city walls. Arthur tried not to let his boredom show, but did notice Gwaine anxiously fiddling with that necklace of his.
“What do you need princess?” Gwaine asked, clearly trying to keep a straight face.
“Remember that favour I asked of you?” Arthur prompted.
“What about Merlin?” Gwaine asked although he knew the answer. “I haven’t spoken to him all week, just like you asked.” There was a slightly accusatory tone to his voice.
“Well I may, emphasis on the word may, have made a slight mistake when I asked you that.” Arthur replied.
“Oh for gods sake what now.” Gwaine groaned. “If I have to take much more of this nonsense I might just go back to drinking my way across the country.”
“Erm... don’t do that...” Arthur responded, clearly slightly disturbed. “No I wanted to apologise for that request. I hadn’t realised you and Merlin weren’t... you know, together.”
“Oh.” Gwaine said simply. “Wait what?” He flipped his head round to actually look at Arthur for the first time.
“I thought the two of you were dating, turns out your not,” he responded, “Gwen wanted me to apologise.”
“Always did like her,” Gwaine grinned. “But I thought you only asked me to stay away from Merlin cause you like him?” He asked, brow furrowing in confusion.
“I’m married!” Arthur replied indignantly.
“Well...”
“No ‘well’,” he shot back. “I love Gwenyvere and that is that.”
“Poor Merlin.” Gwaine mumbled quietly to himself. Arthur let out a large sigh of exasperation.
“I can’t believe I am doing this.” He groaned, before turning and looking Gwaine in the eyes. “Merlin does not like me he likes you.” He enunciated each word as if speaking to a small child. “Honestly anyone could see it. Merlin sees me shirtless every day and doesn’t bat an eyelid, and yet have you seen the colour his face goes when you so much as roll up your sleeves?” He paused for breath. “Ew I can’t believe I just said that.” He shook his head a couple times and took a deep breath. Gwen might claim this was all his fault but he had had enough of it already. “Anyway I am sorry if I caused you any trouble. Good day Sir Gwaine,” he called out before turning and heading back the way they had come. Gwaine didn’t move an inch.
——
It had been a long time since Gwaine had done this much thinking, and his head hurt from it all. Merlin didn’t like Arthur, and Arthur wasn’t in love with Merlin. But Merlin had turned him down. There could be a hundred reasons for that, it’s not exactly like he was great boyfriend material. But Merlin had completely shut him down, and somehow that gave him reason to hope that maybe it was something more than Gwaine’s drunken past holding Merlin back. Maybe there could be hope that he would change his mind. The question is what was stopping him?
It had taken a while but Gwaine thought maybe he had worked it out, and if he hadn’t, at least he had an excuse to ask. He had called in a favour with Elyan who had made sure Merlin would be sent herb picking on this particular trail today, so all he had to do was wait. Wait and try not to chicken out more accurately.
As Merlin rounded the corner Gwaine stood up and said a quiet ‘hey there,’ to announce his presence.
“Gwaine,” Merlin nodded at him, suddenly tensing in his shoulders even if he didn’t let it show on his face.
“Can we talk?” Gwaine asked gesturing to a clear bit of ground they could sit on.
“Um, sure,” Merlin replied sitting down awkwardly across from him.
“You don’t have a crush on Arthur? Do you?” Gwaine asked, jumping straight to the point.
“No,” Merlin’s nose crinkled up in something Gwaine presumed was disgust. “At least not for a long time. Why would you think that?”
“Well when everything happened the other week,” he explained, “I couldn’t think of any other reason for you to turn me down.”
“Gwaine I-“
“I know I’m not perfect,” he stated, leaning back on his elbows, and glancing up at the sky, hoping it would calm him. “But you’re not like any other drunken mistake I’ve made before, and I think you know that.”
“Gwaine I can’t,” Merlin said quite firmly, “we can’t, it just wouldn’t work.”
“Do you remember when we were in the perilous lands?” Gwaine appeared to change the subject with a slight smile.
“Yes,”
“I finally solved the bridge keeper’s riddle.” Gwaine said with a slight smile. “I’m embarrassed it took me so long to be honest. But when I had the right motivation it was really simple.”
“Look I have to go-“ Merlin started to protest.
“Please stay?” It was a simple request but he knew his eyes gave him away. Merlin slowly sat back down.
“You are the bravest person I have ever met Merlin,” Gwaine said. “But there’s just no way that ‘magic’ is Arthur, so he must be courage. And I was called strength.”
“It would be unlikely for Arthur to be magic, yes.” Merlin responded, confirming Gwaines suspicion without actually outright saying it.
“I’m not Arthur,” he said calmly, “I won’t ever use your secret against you.” The last thing he wanted was for Merlin to fear him.
“Thank you,” Merlin said quietly. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”
“It’s no big deal,” Gwaine laughed. “Its probably just karma or something.” Merlin smiled at him and Gwaine felt his heart lift.
“This sort of thing just doesn’t happen to me you know.” Merlin said softly. “And when it does, bad things happen.”
“I’m sorry,” Gwaine decided not to ask further. “You know my relationship track record isn’t exactly shining. Never spent more than a few weeks in the same place till I came here.”
“I remember.” Merlin smiled. “I’m glad Arthur made you a knight. Everyone deserves a place to call home.”
“I’m not here for Arthur.” He responded before he could stop himself. “Sorry, that wasn’t meant to be any kind of guilt trip. I respect your decision.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt Gwaine.” Merlin said, now looking only at the dirt between his feet, “you’re too important to me for that.”
“I get it.” He smiled, and then shot Merlin his famous smirk, “if you ever change your mind I’ll be waiting here for you.” He winked. “As long as we’re still friends.”
Merlin laughed and shook his head. “This way is smarter right?”
“I dunno,” Gwaine said honestly. “But I like to think I’m a smart man, I know when to give up.” He sat up thinking he might go for a walk. He knew that while he felt kind of happy now, in a few hours he was going to crash back down to the reality of what was happening, he wanted to enjoy that happiness whilst he could.
“Wait Gwinn.” Merlin said almost too quietly, the shortened version of Gwaines name making him want to smile.
“Yes?” He asked turning to face his friend.
And then Merlin leaned forward and closed the gap between them, kissing him once more. Only this time Gwaine was fully sober and able to actually enjoy the moment, feeling his heart triple in speed.
Eventually Merlin backed away and Gwaine closed his eyes, waiting for Merlin to change his mind and reject him once more. He deserved to be able to make that decision without Gwaine pressuring him again.
“I love you.” They were not the words he had expected to hear.
“I love you too Merlin,” he responded, still a little unsure of the situation, but owning his eyes nonetheless.
“Friends just doesn’t seem right. Sorry if that sounds indecisive.” He had an anxious look on his face, the kind that gave Gwaine a strong urge to hug him. “Do you think we can make this work?” Merlin asked.
Gwaine looked at him and used a hand to tilt Merlin’s head down to look at him.
“‘May I?” He asked. Merlin nodded his head slowly smiling. Gwaine leaned in and kissed him once more, properly this time, pulling Merlin in towards him, the two lying in each other’s arms in the grass.
Eventually they pulled apart.
“I think this will work,” Gwaine said, looking Merlin up and down with that flirtatious grin on his face. “What do you reckon?”
“There’s nothing I would like more.”