Chapter Text
The lab was Bruce’s safe haven from the madness of the rest of the Avengers that were almost 100% guaranteed to set the other guy off. Tony gave it to him on his first day in the mansion so he could work on his own experiments without getting tangled in Stark’s latest wonderbot. Plus, nobody was allowed in Tony’s workshop except for Tony at the risk of the loss of limbs. As time went by and the team actually started to gel as a team and not just an eclectic collection of superheroes and SHIELD agents, Bruce didn’t need to confine himself to his lab and could socialise with the others in small doses.
It wasn’t until Tony blew up his own workspace with another attempt to create his own element that the timid scientist truly appreciated how peaceful his space had previously been.
Previously being the keyword.
Fury-approved renovation squads and Stark himself had estimated that the rebuild would take at least six weeks at the bare minimum. To say that Tony – and Bruce – were unimpressed would be an understatement. Bruce had to go around shifting all of his files and research out of the way to clear space for his new lab partner. Previous experience said that Tony became incredibly bipolar when it came to his work; one minute annoying the living shit out of Bruce and the next being so absorbed in his work that he wouldn’t notice a klaxon going off next to his ear.
So Tony moved into what was technically his own lab anyway and proceeded to drive Bruce up the wall. First it was the coffee mugs, then surprise updates to his personal programs and the heavy metal just made him want to scream. While Tony powered through project after project, Bruce was simply stuck with his routine thrown out the window. Being stuck, however, led him to notice that a lot of Stark’s projects were Steve related and as such, began to label his endeavours ‘The Steve Project of the Week.’ Not a very original name, but you win some, you lose some.
Steve Project of the Week number one was subtle and could easily have been SHIELD ordered, if Bruce hadn’t checked the Initiative’s log. No, this was all of Tony’s doing.
“I thought SHIELD had already upgraded the Captain’s uniform.”
Tony looked up from his schematics and scoffed. “You call this upgrading? I call it fanboy gone wild.” He tossed the stack onto the floor. “Seriously, who the hell let Coulson near these? He’s a pencil neck with no concept of durability, protection or style.”
“What did Steve say?” Bruce paused to ponder his question. “’And you know all about style?’”
“And you’re saying what exactly?” He looked at his plain black shirt and ancient, yet designer, jeans critically. “I know they’re a bit old, but I am working, you know.”
Bruce threw his hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying that he doesn’t really think all that much of your 21st century style and probably won’t like your take on the stars and stripes.”
Bringing up a new screen to work on, Tony scoffed again. “Once I’m done with it, he’ll look hot.”
His fellow scientist merely raised his eyebrow before returning to his own work.
---
The second time was the punching bags and as it turned out, at Steve’s own request.
“You should have seen him, Banner.” Tony turned over a repulsor tracking and moving system in his hands. “He looked like a kicked puppy.”
Bruce simply nodded, trusting Tony to carry on the conversation with himself.
“I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.” Stark dropped his voice in an imitation of Steve’s. “’Hey, Tony. These punching bags aren’t really all that sturdy and I’m sure SHIELD are getting tired of replacing them all of the time. Do you think you could come up with something stronger?”
Every morning, the Avengers saw a row of completely destroyed punching bags lined up in the halls from Steve’s nightly workouts, so Bruce could see where he was coming from.
“So how much are you going to spend developing these Cap-Proof Punching Bags?” Banner could see at least seven figures in his head.
“Does it matter?” The engineer grabbed a screwdriver, tweaking a few screws. “If it helps Captain America kick more ass and take more names, it’s a sound investment.”
“Uh huh. That’s what I thought.” He turned away from his eccentric lab partner, an idea forming in his mind.
---
The third, fourth and fifth times were all along the same line. Tony would bring in his latest project involving tweaking Steve’s shield or something else like that and, to be honest, Bruce was intrigued.
Steve’s this, Steve’s that, Steve, Steve, Steve… There was definitely something going on there and Bruce was convinced when Tony wheeled in Steve Project of the Week number six.
“A motorbike.”
Tony nodded. “Yep.”
“For Steve.”
“Right again.”
Bruce nodded like he understood. He didn’t. “And why does Steve need a motorbike?”
Modifying something that leaked hydraulic fluid, Stark replied. “He had one before he got iced and he mentioned he wouldn’t mind having one again.”
“So you’re building him one.” Bruce nodded to himself. Yep, definitely something more going on behind the scenes there.
“Tweaking.” Tony waved a wrench. “I’m tweaking one I had stashed in the garage.”
Liar. “Uh huh. Why couldn’t he just go out and buy one?”
The engineer shot up, outraged. “These are expensive. Have you seen SHIELD’s salary?” A shudder ran down his spine. “Plus, it wouldn’t have the Stark touch.”
“’The Stark to –‘ Okay.” Theory confirmed, everyone go home. Married superheroes, who would’ve thought (besides Reed Richards and Sue, they didn’t count). “I’ll just leave you to it.”
“Good idea.” Tony turned back to his work.
“Wait a minute.” Banner paused and turned back to Tony. “Your own lab’s been fixed, so why are you still working in here?”
Tony screwed up his nose. “Smells like paint and SHIELD. I have DUM-E emptying twenty cans of air freshener in there right now."
“Fair point.” Bruce conceded as he walked over to his computer and booted up the calendar. Would you look at that? Steve’s birthday just happens to be next week…
Tinkering away at their respective projects, Tony and Bruce settled into relative silence. Finally used to cohabitating in a lab with Stark after a month and a half, Bruce could delve into his own projects and block out the other completely. It didn't last very long, however, when a shadow ghosted in front of the door.
“Dr. Banner.” Thor appeared menacingly in the doorway. “Thou have stolen the confection of the gods. Return them, mortal, and you will be spared.”
Blinking, Bruce looked over at Tony who was trying to edge the motorbike out of the lab. Oh shit, Thor was serious. “Um, you mean your PopTarts?”
“Correct.” Mjolnir was hefted threateningly as Thor took a step forward.
One last thought ran through Bruce’s mind before the Hulk burst forth.
Goddamn it, Clint.