Chapter Text
Diluc put the feather away and waited for the ink to dry. He sprinkled the letter with sand to make sure it was ready, folded it in half and put it in an envelope. After sealing it, he put it back on the tray and left the office. Some time ago, he established constant contact with the Dawn Winery, overseeing both businesses at the same time. Even so, he has not visited Mondstadt even once since he left eighteen years ago. He didn't need to dig up old wounds. He found a new place here in Fontaine, on the edge of a village forgotten by Archon.
It was not easy, because the local goddess, obedient to Celestia, had driven most of the Khaenri'ah out, and those who stayed, hiding away from the larger cities, even now encountered the hatred of the indigenous peoples. It took years for Diluc to convince the people of a nearby village, and although they tolerated Sigrun and Kiaran, they treated Diluc as their sole conversation partner in business matters. Impeccable upbringing and regular deliveries of the wine produced in Mondstadt helped in gaining acceptance of the local community.
He paused before going out into the garden, absorbing the sight.
Sigrun was sitting on the terrace reading a book and sipping wine. It was hot, so she was hiding in the shadows, not taking the temperatures well. Her health was deteriorating slowly but noticeably. She ignored the problem, looking at it indulgently as she sometimes looked at her nephew. Diluc couldn't convince her to visit a doctor, so they remained at a stalemate, waiting for something bad to happen. In the case of the Khaenri'ah - probably in several decades.
The garden, designed by a local master, was eye-catching all year round. Lots of flowers, mostly blue ones, made fancy patterns, intertwining with paths, ponds and fountains. Diluc did not choose a color, it was necessarily imposed on him, believing that we were in Fontaine, so the garden’s supposed to look like Fontaine , as the designer stated. However, Diluc was looking forward to the color.
He was just watching Kiaran say goodbye to a group of friends. Well-born, in clothes made of fancy, colorful fabrics, they paled in front of Kiaran. The boy wore a simple white shirt and dark, almost black pants, a navy blue vest the color of his hair, and a tie that matched his eyes. Those were simple but elegant clothes and against the background of sapphire flowers, looked ephemeral. Diluc couldn't look away.
As the last marauders disappeared outside the gate, he walked over to him, smiling slightly.
“Time for a gift from me.”
Kiaran beamed, but immediately faded out, as if afraid to ask.
“I promised you that if I can afford, you'll get whatever you want. After all, it's your eighteenth birthday.”
Kiaran nodded, but his eyes darted from side to side.
“Maybe a cake first? Is fantastic!” The smile reappeared on his face and Diluc let the air out.
“Sure.”
Time passed. Diluc, tired of waiting for the boy to say what he wanted, handed him a previously prepared birthday present. The sword was made by the best forge in the country. It was perfectly balanced, decorated with sapphires and adapted to the possible adoption by the owner of any element. Kiaran was delighted and immediately decided to try it, forgetting about the whole world.
Diluc accompanied him during testing the weapon out, making himself a moving target. The boy was extremely talented and after a few years of training he outdid his peers who started at the age of ten. His fighting style, though completely different, sometimes reminded him of Kaeya. His bravado, speed of action, analysis of the environment and taking on as many enemies as possible made them parallel.
"Let's go home," he said finally, lowering his sword and gasping for air. “It's almost night.”
"You're done, old man," Kiaran patted him on the back and, laughing, left the training room.
Diluc didn't think he was old, but he'd spent his last years doing business rather than wielding a great two-handed sword. There was no Mondstadt here to defend. There was a small wine bar, two people he lived with and a dozen or so employees. He didn't have many reasons to reach for his claymore anymore.
He entered the office, making sure the butler had picked up the letter for mailing while he was away.
"Diluc..." Kiaran came right behind him and closed the door. “About the gift I want... I want to ask you something.”
Diluc raised his eyebrows, surprised. He had no idea what it was about.
“You could always just ask. Why make a birthday present out of it?”
“To force an answer on you. Otherwise, you would have either put me off or changed the subject, or you would have said outright that you weren't going to talk about it.”
“If you know I'm not going to…”
“Who is he? From the very beginning, I figured out I reminded you of someone. That's why you stopped by the road. That's why you kept coming back. That's why you took care of us. Eight years have passed and I still look like him, right?”
Diluc took a step back involuntarily. The sharp, determined gaze of the steel eyes, the two eyes , he had to remember, made him dizzy with too much thought.
He didn't only look like Kaeya. They were so alike...
“You were right. I don't want to talk about it.”
“I will not let it go. I need to know. I need to know who I am competing with.”
“How does it compet-”
Kiaran crossed the room in a second and did something Diluc would never have dared to do. He kissed him. Diluc was too shocked to move. Not feeling any resistance, the boy plunged his hands into his hair, and when he ran out of air, oh, on that goddamn bard's braids , Kiaran let out a moan that triggered some latch in his head. The hands themselves wrapped around his waist, bringing him closer. He wanted to hear the sound again, before he pulled himself together, deepened the kiss, provoking more sighs and ...
What the hell was he doing?
He pulled away from him, with a sudden guilt, hitting with the force of a blacksmith's hammer.
"Don't ever try this again," he said, covering his face with his hand.
“Convince me. Who is he?”
He sighed heavily. He wasn't sure if he had the strength for this conversation. He leaned against the desk because his legs were not obeying him.
“What is his name? Where is he now?”
Diluc rarely cried since he had grown out of childhood. In fact, he could count all the times it happened. The first when his father was dying. The second was when Kaeya was killed. And the third, when he met a boy on the road who looked exactly like his brother, friend and love of his life.
He rubbed his eyes. It was about time to face the past.
He walked around the desk, pulled the necklace from under the shirt and with the key attached to it he opened the top drawer. He took out a decorative box and opened it. The pearl-like white crystal framed with the Mondstadt symbol was cold to the touch. Just cold, not frosty. He pulled out a dead Vision and handed it to the boy. Kiaran looked at it without understanding.
Kiaran was born on the day Kaeya died. If the crystal accepts him ...
It won't change anything. Kiaran wasn't Kaeya. Even if he was a reincarnation, he wasn't Kaeya. Kiaran was Kiaran. He shouldn't keep comparing them. It was hard not to do it when they looked identical and shared so many character traits, but he should finally accept the fact that Kaeya won't be back.
There was still an eye patch in the drawer. He turned it over in his hands, waiting for the boy to put the facts together.
"Shit," he said finally. “It is impossible.”
Diluc watched him closely. It took him too long anyway. Now he was fighting with himself, unable to accept the theory he had just put together.
“Inactive Vision from Mondstadt. An eye patch and… Shit. My date of birth.”
Diluc nodded.
“It's not fair," he whispered, terrified. “How am I gonna compete with him .”
“There is no need for you to compete with anyone. Stop deluding yourself that I can forget about him. You're leaving in a month. You will taste life, adventure, maybe you will find someone who will be able to reciprocate your feelings.”
“But…”
“We were eight when he appeared on my doorstep.” Diluc took two steps, standing in front of Kiaran and looking at him with a slight advantage of height. “We grew up together. Do you think that after more than four decades it will suddenly vanish?”
He lied. He was lying to talk him out of his infatuation. It's not like he was in love with Kaeya all this time. He was a goddamn idiot who didn't understand his feelings until after his death. He was a complete idiot, hating and then avoiding and ignoring him for so many years. He was an idiot, not seeing Kaeya's feelings for him. He didn't deserve to mourn him.
He didn't deserve no one to feel deeply about him, not after destroying Kaeya's life and pushing him onto a way he didn't even want to go.
There was no point for this boy to waste his life with a man as crooked, broken, and stuck in the past as Diluc. (He guessed he felt old after all.)
The crystal fell from his hand. And it shone. Kiaran reached out and the air between him and the Vision froze, preventing it from falling.
Diluc felt chills run down his spine.
Kiaran glanced at him, trying to melt the frost on his hand. Diluc walked over to him and took it hand in his own, warming it and instantly melting the ice. He did the same with Vision, dissolving the protective layer and locking the crystal in the boy's hand.
“Go.”
He left. Diluc was left alone in the office.
Diluc threw himself into the work. He pretended that he did not miss the boy. He took care of the winery, spent evenings with Sigrun and nights with a book, the same one, unable to concentrate on the text and not moving forward at all.
Letters from Kiaran came regularly. He described the places he had visited and Diluc could close his eyes, remembering the streets of famous cities, shop windows, restaurants. On the days the letter arrived, Diluc would open a bottle of light wine and lock himself in his room.
He once wrote that he was going to Mondstadt and the next letter would be from there. Diluc put the intact envelope in a drawer and that evening he opened two bottles of wine. He was thinking about Kaeya the whole time that night. Towards the end he started to get confused and he had no memories of getting to bed. Next day Sigrun was giving him a critical look.
After a letter from Mondstadt that he had not read, he began to wonder who he was missing.
It was confusing. He wandered around the property with complete chaos in head and a throbbing pain in heart. He was longing for… he didn’t even know what. Or who.
Standing under the tree and watching the sunset he felt tired. Tired of unrequited love, tired of carrying the guilt, tired of regret building inside him after each chance wasted. Angry at himself and at his own stupidity. He felt tingling under his fingertips, itching to do something, anything.
Kaeya .
Kiaran .
When Kiaran returned, Diluc felt as if a new life had been breathed into him. It didn't matter that he sent him in the hope that he would find true love, that he said goodbye to him with not very pleasant words and did not expect a warm welcome. All he had to do was see him and he felt better, lighter. He smiled for the first time since the departure.
Kiaran has changed. Diluc was terrified as soon as he noticed the change. He was afraid it would be the same change he found with Kaeya. Meanwhile, Kiaran has once again proved to him that he is not Kaeya .
He has changed, yes. He has matured. He was more balanced, a little less spontaneous. Body movements showed constant readiness to fight, and eyes ...
The eyes said, I know exactly what I want.
You.
He came to his bedroom at night. He didn't say a word. He did not have to.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, maintaining eye contact, and leaned forward, hands resting on either side of him. Diluc put the book back on the cupboard. Kiaran leaned over and kissed him. Much more confident this time.
Diluc was still confused. The resemblance was too great to be easily ignored, but slowly his mind was adjusting to the thought that he had someone else entirely in front of him. The fact that Kaeya had never dared to kiss him helped. He could not compare the softness of his lips, the feeling of hands tangled in hair, tongues intertwined, intermingling, rapid breathing, icy fingertips crawling under his shirt and caressing his hot torso. It was a completely new experience, only associated with Kiaran.
Slowly he turned them so that he was on top. Kiaran made a sound that echoed throughout his body. The way he looked at him ...
As if Diluc was his whole world.
Diluc knew he would do anything for him, he had known that for a long time, but the intensity of the emotions he saw in the gray irises with a diamond pupil overwhelmed him.
He turned off thinking.
Kiaran cuddled up to him, as if he was afraid that as soon as he released him, Diluc would leave, he would say it was a mistake. Perhaps it was so. Diluc pulled him closer and pressed his face against his navy blue hair. Kiaran smelled of irises.
“Diluc ... I don't care if you think about him when ... just let me be with you…”
Fists tightened on his chest. The boy also did not have it easy, living in the shadow of his previous incarnation. He wondered for a long time how to answer. He wondered whether he was ready to declare something that did not yet happened, not yet entirely. In the end, he only said:
“Don’t think about it.”