Chapter Text
“What? Why?” Therese felt all the blood leaving her face, she felt herself draining from Carol’s exclamation.
“It’s Rindy, Harge called Abby that she was looking for me. She caught a cold because her goddamn grandparents weren’t paying attention to her on the ice.” She grumbled, her jaw was clenched.
“Is it serious?” Richard joined the conversation. Carol didn’t tell him about Rindy, or Harge, but he was worried nevertheless. He figured out who they were on the way.
“Thankfully no, but…It’s not only that she caught a cold, it would be alright if Harge was around. He has unfortunately been called into work a week earlier than he was supposed to for a few days and he had to leave Rindy with the grandparents because I left. And Harge knows his parents and he’s just as worried as me, so he asked me to come back to the city and be with our daughter, which I get, I would have done the same it’s just…” She sighed and closed her eyes after her rambling. She seemed tired, the stress weighted on her shoulder.
“The timing is awful. I thought I’d get two weeks for myself, but I didn’t even get a week, and now I’m stressing out whether my ex-mother-in-law is taking good care of Rindy or not.” Carol fumbled with her gloves and took them off. She was searching for a cigarette, but Abby was quicker. She held her pack out and Carol’s shaky fingers lifted one out.
Therese couldn’t speak. She couldn’t think about Carol leaving. She felt like the girl in front of the ship in New York again. Numb. She felt a scoop in her throat but was unable to tear up.
“The earliest ship leaves in an hour,” Abby said glancing at her clock. Therese felt like this was the worst news of the day. Her heart soared for Carol, she wanted to comfort her, she wished this situation would turn out better, but she felt lifeless as she heard that in less than an hour she won’t be seeing Carol for two weeks, or maybe even more. She was terrified of Carol leaving her life. She tried catching Carol’s eyes but the woman had her eyes closed as she rubbed her temple.
“Well then, I guess I’ll have to go back now if I want to leave in time.” She calculated and finally opened her eyes. The grey eyes now seemed transparent, glassy, and lifeless. She looked into Therese’s eyes with sadness. Therese now knew that Carol felt the same, and lost the idea of not seeing Carol again.
“We’ll go back to the hotel with you.” Therese finally choked out. Richard nodded next to her. Carol threw them a tight smile and nodded.
~~
Abby stayed outside the hotel, next to the taxi that was waiting for them to leave for the ship. Richard, Therese, and Carol went inside the hotel, unable to feel the same enjoyment they felt the first time they set foot here. The elevator ride was silent, Therese’s eyes were glossy.
“I’ll stay in the room, tell me if you need help with anything,” Richard told them and left the two women in the aisle, in front of Carol’s door. It felt like years before Carol opened it for them.
The darkness of the room fit the mood Therese was feeling. Empty. She thought about Carol’s lips on hers this morning, craving the lighthearted joy she was feeling, not knowing anything about Carol leaving. Leaving her here. Without her.
Carol’s fingers on her forearm snapped her back to the present.
“Hey, look at me.” Carol’s palm warmed up Therese’s cold, lifeless cheeks. Her eyes felt heavy, her whole body felt exhausted from the news.
“Don’t you go all mopy on me, alright? You know I’d want to stay with you forever if I could.” Carol reassured her. Therese knew that Therese knew it all, she knew it wasn’t Carol’s decision to leave. She had to, it was because of Rindy.
“I know.” She said it out loud. “I know that, it’s just…I hate that I won’t be able to be with you, I won’t be able to enjoy all this with you, even the awful ship.” Carol hoarsely chuckled.
“It’s one week.”
“It’s more than one,” Therese grumbled.
“I know that, I just didn’t want to say that out loud.” Carol humorlessly laughed. “I never expected to fall in love during this trip.” Carol changed the topic.
“Well, neither did I but here we are.” Therese reacted, her cheeks gained color as she thought about her time with Carol. They stared into each other’s eyes, just like the times before they realized how they felt. Therese wanted to say so many things, wanted to confess everything, all the things she felt about everything and nothing. She wanted to tell Carol how she felt over and over again, she wanted to shout ‘I love you' from the top of the Eiffel Tower. The only way she could properly express all these things at once was with a kiss. She conveyed everything she felt for Carol into the kiss, she sighed as she poured out the contents of her heart. Carol’s soft lips responded and groaned into the deep kiss. Therese’s hands pulled Carol closer to her, gripping the back of Carol’s neck, pulling her down as she took her scent in.
They broke apart, heavily sighing in complete silence. They both expressed emotions they couldn’t say to the other in a farewell like this.
“Don’t come to the ship. Stay here. I couldn’t handle saying goodbye to you there. I couldn’t leave then.” Carol choked up and embraced Therese. Therese felt Carol’s hot tears on her cheeks and her heart broke. She wanted to say no, I’m not going to let you go, I’m going to go with you to the ship, but hearing Carol’s ragged breath she stopped herself. She nodded against Carol’s cheek and mumbled: “I’ll stay here then.” Carol released Therese from her embrace and Therese felt naked, incomplete.
“I couldn’t bear seeing you there, look at the way I’m reacting now, it’s disgusting.” Carol laughed, her voice deep from the tears. She motioned with her hands and wiped away her tears.
“I couldn’t either. It’s more private this way too.” Therese concluded. Carol nodded and walked towards her suitcase. It was packed so she didn’t need to waste time on that. She had to get going no matter what. It was the last time she’ll get to be alone with Therese. She grabbed her suitcase, her grip on the handle so strong it could break metal. Her glassy eyes bored into Therese’s brown ones, barely noticing any light behind them.
“I love you.” Carol said it with the same timid voice she said the first time. She was new to this feeling too, if she thought about it, she wasn’t used to saying it and meaning it at the same time.
“I love you so much, Therese.” She repeated herself, her voice getting stronger with these words. She stepped in front of Therese, released the suitcase from her grip, and cupped Therese’s cheeks.
“Oh, Carol, how I love you too.” Therese breathed out and closed her eyes as she felt Carol’s lips on her cheek. She traveled back in time, to that moment when Carol first kissed her there on the ship. She thought she would never feel her heart beating that fast at that moment, but the future proved her wrong. Carol’s warm lips traced Therese’s jaw before it fell into place; Therese’s lips met hers. It was a kiss of goodbye. The slow departure of pink and smudged red carried the weight of separation on itself. Carol had to leave, and Therese had to stay here. Carol stepped back and her fingers traced the handle of the suitcase again, an object that felt like an enemy to her now. She took slow, delicate steps towards the door, something that will separate her from Therese, a feeling that neither of them was ready for.
She turned around again to take a look at Therese, to burn her image into her mind before the possibly 2 weeks, but who knows how long the absence of the younger woman.
“Meet me in New York next year?” Carol flashed a smile, lighting up the room and Therese’s mood.
“Without a doubt, Carol.” Hearing her name on Therese’s lips sent shivers down her spine. Her hand touched the cold silver of the doorknob. Before she pushed it down she turned to Therese for the final time and said:
“My angel, take care till then and never forget how much I love you.” Her voice started choking up and quickly pushed the doorknob down and rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind her in process.
Therese stood there in silence. The smell of Carol lingered in the room as if she were there with her. She never felt more alone. She never thought leaving Carol, for two weeks only, would be so hard. She slumped down on the bed Carol slept in a took a deep breath.
She let her tears spill this time.
~~
Therese waited for Carol to completely leave before she could step into her room with Richard. She composed herself, cleaned her face in Carol’s room before would face Richard.
He was sitting on a dark brown chair in the middle of the room, lost in thoughts. Carol said goodbye to him too, right after she had her farewell with Therese. She must have told him to wait here too, probably to take care of Therese. She walked around the room, not knowing where her place was. Her place was supposed to be next to Carol now. She should be--
“You should go with her.” Richard suddenly said.
“What?” Therese felt like she misheard him. Did he want to get rid of her? Or what did he mean by that?
“I said you should go with her, back to New York.” He repeated himself.
“No, I mean, I heard you I just don’t understand.” Therese’s brows knit together.
“You’re not happy with me here.” He simply said.
“That’s not true, I like being with you here.” She didn’t lie this time completely.
“No, I mean, you’re not happy with me the way you’re happy with her. She makes you happy in a way I won’t.” He wasn’t angry and that confused Therese even more. She threw him a confused look and Richard laughed, in a kind way.
“Oh, c’mon Therese, I have eyes too! I’ve been with you two for days now and you two aren’t very subtle.” He stood up to be on the same level as Therese.
“Nothing happene-“ Therese flushed up and tried to explain.
“I know, I know, that’s not what I mean. I’m happy about that. There are even drunk memories of me saying that to you one night.” Richard stepped closer and rested his hand on her shoulder.
“How come you’re not mad?” Therese enquired. She couldn’t understand Richard’s light reaction to it.
“Well, I mean when I was figuring it out I was mad of course but I thought things over and then today happened and I realized that…” He took a deep breath before he said.
“I miss our friendship.” He frowned for a moment before his lips turned up and formed a kind smile.
“At the café, I was thinking about our relationship and how we got together, and in front of Notre Dame with the birds then I realized that I regret ruining our friendship with our relationship.” Therese couldn’t believe her ears. Richard was quite literally breaking up with her this way, something that was supposed to be done by her. She wanted to say something, but Richard kept on talking.
“You were my closest friend and because of the so-called “societal pressure” made me think I’m supposed to fall in love with you, so I asked you out, and you went into it! Which was great at the time! But we didn’t feel anything, and that friendship was thrown into the trash this way because I know you didn’t feel that way. Thinking about it I didn’t either, but that’s a different case.”
“I really miss our friendship too, you’re still one of my best friends.” Therese was finally able to reply. Richard grinned and continued his monologue.
“Anyways, so in conclusion, I realized today that in order for this friendship to continue we should break up.” Therese was silent for a few moments and laughed out loud.
“I can’t believe this.” Therese kept on laughing and Richard’s smile dropped and gripped Therese’s shoulder in worry.
“What? Don’t tell me you don’t want that and I completely misread that, I just thought-“ He startled rambling but Therese shut him off.
“No, it’s not that, I wanted to break up with you today.” And continued laughing. Richard joined her as they laughed at that situation.
“Because of Carol?” Richard asked after he calmed down, waiting for Therese to confirm his suspicions. Therese froze, used to the hiding of the nature of the relationship. She looked into Richard’s eyes, fearing that she might see disgust. Instead, she saw curiosity.
“Yes.” Therese muttered. Richard felt Therese freezing up at the question.
“See? That’s why we would never fit together. I never thought your type would be women twice your age with a sick kid in New York City.” He joked and nudged Therese’s shoulder playfully.
“Oh, shut up.” Therese hit his shoulder playfully and failed to hide her grin.
“Not judgment! But really, don’t worry about this. Your secret is safe with me. Only if you promise to never break this friendship up with engaging in a relationship with me.” He shifted from serious to playful and Therese felt light again. He held out his pinky finger and Therese giggled. She wrapped hers around his and said:
“I promise. Now help me get to the ship.”
~~
“There are no taxis this hour or what? I swear they disappeared, just when I need them most.” Therese furiously walked from sidewalk to sidewalk with her suitcase in hand. Richard walked the opposite side of her and looked for taxis. Therese started feeling hopeless, but Richard came up with the best idea.
“These tandem bikes can be rented!” He noticed and pointed at the other side of the sidewalk. He jogged up to the man in charge and quickly paid for it, not wanting to waste more time. He grinned back at Therese and motioned for her to sit on the back seat as he asked the Parisian where the port was. The young man showed him the way, thankfully not a difficult route, and Richard thanked him and hopped on the front seat.
“Let’s get going, Operation: catch Carol’s ship is on.” And started pedaling.
The funniest thing about this to Therese was that they saw more of Paris this way than they have seen all day. The building they passed, the cars with locals in it, the smells of the pastries mixed together and Therese finally felt the magic of Paris. The moment when she was actually leaving Paris. She grinned to herself as she thought how ironic this whole trip was. She wanted to get away from the ship that led to Paris, then wanted to get on it, and now she wants to reach the ship that leaves for NYC. She deeply wished she would reach this one.
The only thing that changed from the beginning is that she didn’t want to get away from Richard this time. And that she found the love of her life of course, but the result of it was the change of her relationship with Richard too. She smiled at Richard eagerly pedaling in front of her. She could never be thankful enough for him today. She saw the ship from the distance, surprised at how quickly they got there.
“Try looking for her, I’ll take lead us to the place then, you just keep pedaling!” Richard shouted back to Therese.
The people were far too away from her to see Carol. There weren’t many people there, at which Therese gave a relieved sigh. The last thing she needed today was another stressful factor.
“I can see the ticket booth! When we reach the port, you should hop off and I’ll buy the ticket, alright?” Richard suggested as he took a right turn. They were getting closer and closer to the goal.
“Great idea!” She scanned the crowd and finally noticed her. Carol.
“I can see her! She’s there, she hasn’t left!” She knew that would have been impossible since the ship was still there, but seeing her in the distance calmed her.
“Ah, thank God. I’ll lead you to the sidewalk and you should hop off.” And he did. Therese was shaking from excitement as she clumsily fumbled down from the bike. Richard flashed her a smile and a thumbs up and went on to the booth. Therese braced herself and started running towards the target.
“Carol!” She screamed from the top of her lungs. “Carol!” She shouted, and she would shout her names over and over again. She sprinted towards the woman, she couldn’t care about the eyes of others on her. “Carol!” She shouted again and again until the woman finally heard her. She whipped her head up and looked around, tried to find the source of the voice. Then she spotted a young woman running like crazy with a maniac smile painted on her lips, a suitcase flopping next to her, her coat hanging open. Carol chuckled amusingly at the sight and Abby gasped.
“Is that Therese?” She asked unable to believe her eyes.
“It is. Therese. My Therese.” Her eyes filled up with tears at the sight. Carol couldn’t take her eyes off of the suitcase in Therese’s hands. Her legs started moving her body towards the brunette. She felt herself speeding up and her arms opening. She felt Therese’s body slamming into hers, almost making her fall in the process. She wouldn’t care, as long as Therese was in her arms. They gripped each other, the time without one another felt longer than they expected. It was like a reunion after months of separation.
“You’re here!” Carol dumbfoundedly said, unable to say anything coherent as she looked at Therese, her hands gripping the shorter woman’s shoulder. Therese glowed, the grin on her face was the greatest joy in Carol’s life.
“I’m here, Richard and I cycled here.” She giggled at the surrealistically sounding answer. She couldn’t stop smiling.
“Richard?” She was astonished, her eyes scanned the crowd and saw him waving as he cycled towards them. He was holding Therese’s ticket in his hand. Carol let out a burst of throaty laughter at the sight, her mouth hanging open. “How? I mean what happened or-“
“He made me come here and demanded me to follow you to New York.” She tried putting on a serious face but failed, her lips quirked into a smirk.
“Oh, I see, so you didn’t even want to come, huh?” Carol teased. Richard hopped off the bicycle and grinned at the two.
“Hello, Richard, she was just telling me about you making her come here. How bossy.” Carol started with a joke that was met with laughter. Her arms left Therese’s shoulder and they turned towards Richard.
“Yes, you see, after I went through all the stages of grief-“ Therese punched his shoulder and Abby cackled –“ouch? This is the thank you I get? Anyways, so this lady here was unable to realize that she cannot spend a few weeks without you so I dragged her here.” The softness of his voice oppressed the joke, and Carol melted.
Richard held out Therese’s ticket, which she softly took. In response she threw her arms around Richard in the overwhelming emotion, gripping the ticket in her hand.
“I didn’t thank you properly for this. You don’t know how much this means.” She mumbled it into his neck, loud enough for him to hear. Richard wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her.
“Don’t thank me yet, you’ll have enough time in New York, you’ll gotta tolerate me hanging on your neck every week.” Richard released her and looked at Therese with a playful, yet kind smile.
“And I’ll gladly do so.” Therese mirrored the smile. She was looking forward to spending time with Richard the way they are supposed to. The friends they have always been supposed to be. Richard stepped back and turned to Carol again.
“Take care of her, she’s a special one.” He said with a wink as she glanced at the two.
“A very special one that’s for sure.” She looked at Therese filled with adoration. “Thank you, Richard.” And she hugged him too. Her chest warmed up at the kindness of his, something she didn’t expect or didn’t know she’ll receive when she met him on the ship. She’ll ask about it more from Therese on the ship, but that didn’t matter now.
“Ship will leave in 10 minutes, everyone who hasn’t stepped on board, do it now!” A boy in a blue hat shouted from the crowd. It was time to depart. The bitter feeling left her body completely and gripped Therese’s hand. She looked into the brown eyes, the eyes she wants to look in every day from now on. Another journey has begun with this, she knew that. They said goodbye to Richard and Abby for the last time before they walked up the board.
They waved at the distant figures of the friends as the ship slowly started moving. The two women finally found their voices after the situation that was turned upside down.
“Well, I would be lying if I’d expected any of this to happen, but I’m not complaining.” Carol laughed and looked at Therese.
“Believe me, I thought my life would be miserable for two weeks now, I was already in the middle of the preparation of it.” Therese half-joked and nudged Carol’s hips with hers.
“Oh, Gosh, don’t even talk to me about that, I was ready to cry for 4 days of traveling both because of leaving you and because of Rindy’s idiotic grandparents.” Carol couldn’t stop grinning. Sure she was still stressed out because of the happenings, but having Therese with her now lifted her spirits. She reached out and squeezed Therese’s cold hands. Therese stared at it with an adoring smile.
“What is this obsession of ours with ships and Paris?” Therese giggled and looked back into Carol’s silver eyes. They were sparkling.
“Whatever it is, I’m glad we developed it. You know why?” Carol smirked and Therese stifled a laugh at the sight. The wind blew some strands in front of her eyes and before she could get them out of the way Carol’s unoccupied hand flew up. She grazed Therese cheek before finally saying:
“It made me find you, my love.”