Chapter Text
Now that he could visit Loki, he knew he wouldn't leave anytime soon. He brought up a chair next to the bed Loki was in and sat down, grabbing one of Loki’s hands carefully. The god still had not woken up. Doctors said it was from extreme exhaustion and malnutrition. Additionally, to that, he was pretty beaten up, had a few nasty looking bruises in his arms and abdomen, they said it wasn't that bad, and focused more on getting him the nutrients he needed.
However, Mobius knew it was bad, it had to be, despite what the doctors said. Loki could withstand so much; he had already been through so many things already and yet he would shrug it off as best as he could. He knew that Loki, back in the sacred timeline, got smashed onto concrete by the Hulk and all he got were a few scratches and sore muscles, he survived falling off the Bifrost and if it wasn't for Thanos capturing him in the void, he would have been moderately unharmed.
So, the fact that he had bruises, and ugly, big ones at that, made Mobius wince in sympathy. Loki must have gone through hell and back to get those injuries. Not even counting the lack of food and horrible exhaustion.
He subconsciously held tighter onto Loki’s hand as his thoughts raced through all the worst possible scenarios.
Before his uneasiness continued to grow, he forced his mind to stop thinking about all the what ifs, all the possible scenarios and instead focused on Loki’s breathing, letting the way his chest expanded and deflated rhythmically lull him to calmness.
Simply repeating to himself that Loki was okay now, that he was alive, was not enough to make him stop worrying completely but it was enough to stop his panic. Managing to calm down, he wasn’t even aware of when he began to fall asleep.
The next couple of hours were spent between bouts of unconsciousness and waking up every now and then with a start, checking on Loki before he closed his eyes again. He knew he should do something useful, technically he should have been working.
Now that Ravonna was gone off to who knows where, he was in charge now, he and B-15. After the multiverse began, they had to deal with the fallout of it and on top of that, the fallout of telling all of the TVA that they were variants. Some didn't take it well, as expected. Others took it in stride and decided to focus on the bigger problem at large and save the revelation for later.
Thankfully for him and B-15, a lot of them stayed to help so in the end, it was way easier to manage. Before Loki had shown up, he had been working with other analysts, trying to find a way to tackle the multiverse and its branches in the best way. He should be doing a lot of stuff that was expected of him, but he couldn't bring himself to, not until he saw Loki was awake and well with his own two eyes.
B-15, heavens sent, was a great friend and work partner that let him take the time off he didn't have. He would owe her big time later, but for now he was grateful. Yawning, he closed his eyes, never taking his hand off of Loki's. He told himself he was only resting his eyes for a bit, but he ended up falling asleep.
He was woken when something tugged his arm away forcefully. He opened his eyes, fully alert and ready to fight but it only took him a few seconds to come to terms with his surroundings and realising that the thing that woke him up was no other than his Loki.
It seemed Loki was even more confused than he was, he seemed to be terrified with no clue of where he was. It took Mobius a few seconds to realise that Loki had started to tug at his IV frantically, he rushed to stop him.
“Loki, hey, hey, it's okay, you're safe. You're at the TVA, you're with me and nothing bad is going to happen to you.” He repeated a few times in the most calming voice he could muster. Loki, after a few deep breaths he focused his eyes on him.
“Mobius?” He said it as he stared at him with big doe eyes, as if he couldn't believe Mobius was there. It was clear he was still exhausted and even though he did look slightly less pale than before he looked worse for wear and his eye bags were still very much prominent, without mentioning how sunken his skin looked.
“I’m here. You're in the TVA’s infirmary, but you're okay.” Mobius said softly. Grabbing his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze to ground him. “You’re safe.”
Loki still didn't look fully convinced. His eyes darted around the room, and he was still breathing rapidly, unconsciously tugging at his IV again, it felt unfamiliar in his skin, even without full awareness he knew something was not right.
“Hey now,” he whispered quietly. “Let's not do that, okay?” He motioned at the IV and gently moved away his arm. “You're going to get hurt trying to take it out.”
Loki narrowed his eyes, and looked back at the IV, thinking about if he should keep arguing or just let it be, after a moment of careful consideration, he decided on the latter. All his instincts told him he should take it off, there was no way of knowing what they were giving him. It could be a trap and by the time he would know it, it would be too late. However, he realised that his gut feeling was trusting Mobius, if he said it was okay, then it was. If he wasn't so tired and beat out, he would have freaked out about how fast and how easily he trusted him with his life.
“-ki, Loki?”
Loki realised a bit too late that Mobius had been talking to him. He looked back at the man, hoping he would repeat what he said.
Instead of repeating himself, Mobius squeezed his arm gently again and looked at him warmly. “Loki, you need to rest. Try to get some sleep?”
Loki was about to protest. He couldn't go back to sleep even if he wanted to. While he’s asleep so many things could happen, and he needs to be ready for it. Besides, he needed to tell Mobius about what happened with Sylvie, with the citadel at the end of time. How she had hugged him and then pushed him to another TVA, then killed the one in charge of everything.
He hadn't yet told Mobius how the multiverse was in graver danger than any of them realised. No one was safe, and on top of it all, he couldn't sleep, if he did, he might wake up again and find out Mobius wasn't really there, that he was still lost in the multiverse.
As if Mobius could read his mind, he spoke again. “I’ll be here when you wake up and I will personally make sure you're safe, okay?”
Well, Loki couldn't really argue with that could he? He found himself nodding without even realising he was doing it. He didn't realise when he laid back again or closed his eyes, but he was vaguely aware of the constant feeling in his mind and chest that screamed safety. He let that feeling drown him to the unfamiliar peaceful unconsciousness.
Mobius watched as he fell asleep again. He probably shouldn't stare at him as much as he was, it was kind of creepy of him to think about it, but he couldn't stop. Seeing him there was a constant reminder he was alive, that he was breathing and that he was right there with him.
He knew he was going to be there for much longer and it wasn't like he was getting any more sleep now. So, he took out his tempad and a notepad and began to look at the branches, running analysis on different courses of actions against the nexus events and writing down any ideas he had.
He wasn't actively working at the moment, but he knew sooner or later he would have to return to run the TVA and it was smarter to have something planned ahead. Besides, he wanted to get work done now so when Loki woke up for good, he would have extra time with him to help him heal.
A couple times over the course of the next few hours, Loki stirred in his sleep, clearly troubled yet Mobius managed to get him to go back to sleep peacefully. He found that when talking to him, Loki calmed down enough to go back to a deep slumber. Only a handful of times did he wake up confused to his surroundings and Mobius, every time, took his hand to calm him down and softly told him where he was and that he was okay.
He didn't take his hand away from his even long after Loki went back to sleep.
He stopped his work after a while and went back to stare at Loki. He looked less pale than before, but he still looked sick and tormented, he had been through life’s wringer, and it showed.
That was something that had been bugging him about all of Loki’s injuries, the time constraint. He had last seen him a week ago, maybe a bit more, right before the multiverse of madness began to take hold of all his working hours. They had only parted a week, and yet the damage Loki had sustained spoke of months, maybe more, of damage.
Logically, he knew there was a very easy, straightforward way that could have happened. But he didn't want to think of that. Not yet, not until he knew more. He knew time wasn’t linear, especially now, but he wanted to hold on to the idea that they had only parted for a week…
He ran a hand through his hair with his free hand and looked away from Loki’s bed, looking anywhere but at his unconscious partner. Seeing him like that hurt too much. That's when he caught sight of Loki’s bag, or at least a bag with his belongings. The doctors at the infirmary put everything that he had been carrying in a bag for safekeeping. Poking out of the bag, was what appeared to be a tempad.
Mobius frowned, something else caught his eye but he couldn't place his finger on what. He untangled his hand from Loki’s and stood up to inspect it.
Holding the tempad in his hand he immediately knew it wasn't a tempad from his timeline, it felt different, the weight of it was slightly off, maybe only by a few grams but he could tell. Spending all of his life— or what he remembered of it— around tempads taught him a thing or two about them. He knew it wasn't a fake one either, just different.
From a different timeline .
Mobius internally cursed and felt his blood run cold. Loki had been through other universes, there was no running from that fact anymore.
His thoughts and fears from before were confirmed. For him it had been a week, but Loki had travelled through timelines, which meant there was no limit about how long it had been for him. Time was complicated and never in the right order, but he was used to it, that's how he functioned. Time was on his side, at least it had been before all this. He never really had to worry about it when he only had his job to deal with.
However now he was stuck with the horrible realization of the passage of time in a way he had not had the displeasure of thinking before. How it had dire consequences and implications he didn't want to perceive. Who knows how much time had passed for Loki, time apart that he would never get back, it was gone, time wasn’t linear, and it didn't get repeated. Not to them. They weren’t so lucky for that.
Taking a closer inspection to the device, he noticed it had markings on it, scratches and bumps on the front of it, it must have been made from fights or falls. However, when he turned it around, he noticed that the entirety of the back was scratched, but it wasn't random scratches like the front of it, but in patterns, tally marks.
The entirety of it was covered, Loki had been counting the days, or at least, had been counting something. It must have been in the hundreds, one tally mark after another, tiny enough to not harm the device but clearly engraved, visible to the eye and touch. He ran a hand through them, he could feel it was made with a blade, they were not drawn but carved, and some of them were coated with dry blood.
Mobius felt sick as his brain once again conjured up the worst scenarios of what could have happened to Loki in their time apart. According to the tally marks it had been hundreds of days, which if his calculations were correct, would have been a few months at the least. A shudder ran through him as he thought back to when he saw Loki a few hours ago, just then he had been relieved to hear his voice, not knowing what he would find when he looked at him, he had never worried as much and he had been dealing with the end of the timeline as he knew it, his worries got worse and everything went to shit when Loki had passed out.
He truly thought Loki had been dead for the first few seconds, after he had to carry his dead weight. He never wanted to go through that again. Loki had looked so pale, so morbidly sick once he passed out..
What if Loki had not found him in time? Mobius was sure he would have died if he had continued on like he was behaving. If Loki were awake Mobius would be asking him what was he thinking? What happened to make him end up like that? He made a mental note to ask him later when he woke up, because he would. He had to. He wouldn't have it any other way.
“You weren't supposed to see that.”
Mobius snapped away from his thoughts and jumped slightly at the voice that startled him. He turned back to look at Loki who was now awake, still laying down and looking at him. “The tempad?”
Loki shook his head. “The tally marks.” He said, voice raspy. He cleared his throat a few times. “Is there any water I can get?”
“Yeah.” Mobius put the tempad back on the bag and moved towards Loki, next to him was a small coffee table where Mobius had his water bottle with him. He uncapped it and passed it over to Loki.
He took a small sip and closed his eyes as he felt the refreshing cold water run down his throat, he doesn't remember when he last had something to drink so his throat was killing him. “Thanks.”
“How are you feeling?” Mobius took the water bottle back and sat back in his chair, next to the bed.
Loki shrugged. “I’ll live.”
“I know you will. That's not what I am asking though.”
“I’ll be fine. Not feeling the best right now.” Loki said truthfully, taking slow breaths. “Although I am much better now, thanks to you.”
“Thanks, but it wasn't me who saved your ass from dying on me. Had to drag you all the way to the infirmary after you collapsed.” Mobius pointed out dryly.
Loki slightly winced. “Sorry about that.” He truly was. He knew he wasn't in tip top condition before, but he honestly did not know it had gotten this bad. He could have kept it together for longer if he really needed to, that's what he was born to do, survive no matter what. So, he would keep on fighting to see another day while he travelled. But the moment he saw Mobius he knew he didn't need to force himself to stay awake, he knew if he just let go in that moment, he would wake up again, safe. He really had no choice in that matter afterwards. Still, he felt bad that Mobius had to deal with that. “But that is not what I meant.” He didn't mean he was better now that he had medical care, no, it was that he was better thanks to Mobius being there.
“What happened to you?” Mobius asked softly, tone filled with concern.
“A lot.” Loki chuckled dryly, devoid of any humour. “Let’s recounter all that has happened, shall we? Sylvie betrayed me, I got lost in the multiverse, I might be the most hated variant out there, so I had to run for my life more times than not and then I found my way back.” He listed it nonchalantly. He had to shrug it off, undermine what he had been through to be able to talk about it, that's how it always has been and how it always will. The months? Weeks? Years ? He had no idea; it had been unbearable. Jumping through timelines had been one of the worst experiences he had endured in his life, the only thing that could rival that would be his time in Thanos' clutches, but that was another whole different level of horrible experiences he never wanted to think about and if he could get away with it, he wouldn't. “All in all, I think it went fairly well, wouldn't you?” Loki smiled tiredly, the smile not reaching his eyes, which in turn were dull, tired and hazy.
Mobius didn't know if he should sigh or call him out for his behaviour. It was as if Loki forgot he knew him, inside and out. He studied every moment of his life and on top of that he had learned so much about him after he met him and spent time with him, after he became one of the most important people in his life. He knew Loki was shrugging off his experiences and making them not a big deal. Mobius knew the truth though. “Must have been tough.” In the end, he decided to not push too much, he would call him out later if Loki kept avoiding talking about it as he always did but for now, he would let him rest.
Loki shrugged. “Nothing I couldn't handle.”
“Is there anything you can't handle?” Mobius said with a smile trying to ease the tension of the whole situation. “But even though you can handle it doesn't mean it still sucked.” He pointed out.
“Yeah, I guess.” Loki shrugged and took another sip of water, lost in thought.
“So, the tempad…” Mobius started. He needed to know more about where Loki had been and what happened to him on their time apart, even more so after finding the tempad with the tally marks, he had a long list of questions but he was aware Loki had been almost dying not even a few hours ago so he didn't know how much he could question before it was too much for him.
“Snatched it up from the timeline I ended up with after the void, tempads are not supposed to be used to travel between universes but after a while I managed to tweak it, made a few adjustments and managed to manipulate it to be able to travel through the multiverse.” Loki said, trying to detach all emotions that accompanied the daunting memories that came with retelling what happened. “At this point I might be more of an expert than you about tempads, I know the inner workings of those things almost as much as I know my magic.” He said with a hint of humour, clearly trying to defuse the severity of the conversation.
“Perhaps, knowing how to use tempads across timelines is impressive enough, but I am still confident I know this timeline’s tempad better, it has been my job for as long as I remember, quite literally.” He smiled. “You must be one smart god to become such an expert in just a few months.”
Loki’s half smile disappeared for a quick second, all humour from his face gone and replaced with the emptiness before he schooled his expression and looked at Mobius with a tired smile. “Of course, I am a smart god, this is not new information, I am hurt you would only realise that now.” He played along to Mobius' comment as he would have done before, then he added quietly. “Though I am sure it took me more than that to become an expert, even I need more time than a few months to master such a skill.”
Mobius frowned and looked at him. “More than a few months? But I saw your tempad, that many tally marks must have been a few months, at the most a year, I calculated it.”
Loki couldn't keep his facade and his eyes were now blank and hollow and he tensed up ever so slightly. “I was not counting days, just the timelines, and it is not as if it is accurate, I did stop after a while.”
Mobius’ blood felt ice cold at those words. He had thought the tally marks were counting days, which were in the hundreds. He thought that was bad enough. But finding out the tally marks were not days, but the number of timelines Loki visited? That was like a stab to the gut.
Adding to that the fact that Loki had probably stayed between a few days or weeks between each timeline, Mobius guessed since it was tricky to jump through timelines and the tempad needed a lot of time to recharge; and the fact that he stopped counting after a while…
His brain and chest began to hurt just thinking about it. The amount of time he must have spent alone, deserting, surviving, hurting.
“How long?” He whispered, staring at the scratched tempad in his hands. “How long have you been gone?”
Loki didn't answer, he simply looked away.
“Loki?” Mobius called again, not trusting himself to look up.
Still no answer from Loki, who decided taking a sip of water was much more important.
“How long?” Mobius almost shouted, he looked up at Loki making direct eye contact, afraid of the answer he would give, yet he wouldn’t take silence for an answer.
“I don't know!” Loki snapped and hurled forward, defensive. “ Leave it be .”
Mobius had known deep down that was the answer, but he hated hearing it, nonetheless. There was no way of knowing, it could have been years, decades… and they would all be none the wiser to the fact… Mobius felt sick. He couldn’t imagine being on his own that long, worse to even imagine Loki going through with it.
It must have been heart wrenching, spending so much time alone, being hunted down and persecuted, not knowing when it was going to end or if it ever would. Mobius cannot begin to fathom how it must have been, how much resilience Loki would have had to have. He knew the god was a survivor through and through, but this was something else, years, decades, it was all a fraction of a life span for a Jotunn, but time did not pass as usual when one is alone, when one is alone or hurting time seems to go on forever. He knows the few hours he waited for any news of how he was doing, and the other handful of hours spent by his bedside as Loki slept felt like an eternity, an eternity filled with doubt and fear.
So, thinking of Loki spending years on his own, probably feeling worse than Mobius has ever felt… he couldn't begin to comprehend but he grieved for all his partner had to go through.
Mobius stood there frozen in place, he blinked a few times and took a shaky breath and looked at Loki who was staring at him quietly, shoulders were squared up, completely tensed and there was a mixture of fear and hope in his eyes. “Oh, Loki .” He whispered before he sprung forwards, clutching him carefully in a tight hug. “I am so sorry , but I am so proud and incredibly grateful that despite everything, you found my way back to me.”
“ Always .” Loki managed to croak out weakly.
“You do know I am not going to let you out of my sight anytime soon, right?” Mobius asked, still hugging him, his chin resting on Loki’s shoulder.
“Good.” he let out a mixture between a laugh and a sob, he hugged Mobius tighter for a second before pulling away so he could see him. “Those are exactly my thoughts, I spent too much time looking for you to even think of letting you wander off at all.” He said, his voice croaked no longer and instead his tone was pure of determination and adoration.
“I do have to work at some point.” Mobius said yet had no intention of doing it any time soon and he knew he would be damned if he did not keep Loki close by, even then.
“As if you could get rid of me that easily.” Loki snorted. “I can always interrupt your work whenever you need, just like old times.”
Mobius simply looked at him unamused.
“Fine, I guess I will help you with your work, you would be lost without me.”
“No, I would be lost without B-15.” Mobius said without missing a beat and he bit back a laugh at Loki’s reaction. “She has been single-handedly running the TVA since you arrived, without her I wouldn't be able to take time off to be here with you.”
Loki hummed. “I will have to thank her then.”
“You and I both.” Mobius agreed.
“How long has it been for you?”
“A week or two… time is difficult to estimate around here, especially now.”
“Oh….” Loki said in disbelief, for him it had been a lifetime and for Mobius it had been merely a blink of an eye. “At least I wasn't gone for long from your perspective.”
“You were gone long enough. I missed you terribly.”
“But I am here now.” He said both to reassure Mobius and himself.
_________________________________
“Loki, are you ready? The meeting starts in five minutes and B-15 will kick us both out of this timeline if we are late.” Mobius crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow in exasperation.
Loki came out of their room dressed in Asgardian leather pants, a long-sleeved shirt and a tie. He kissed the tip of his nose and rolled his eyes. “Would you calm down? We are not going to be late, but if we are, I did just get cleared from the hospital— if the TV's med centre could even be called that— I am sure she would understand.”
“No, she would not, it is still your first meeting where you will be introduced as the third in command. You of all people should know you have to have a strong first impression to last. Especially since we are in a multiversal crisis.”
“A multiversal crisis that we will soon fix…somehow. It will be fine.”
“As if it were that easy” Mobius said, walking towards the door hoping Loki would follow. “You sure you are feeling okay?” He turned back to look at him.
“For the millionth time, yes , darling I am fine. I was fine a month ago when I wanted to leave the damn hospital room after healing most of my problems and I was fine a week ago when I finally ditched the boring room to live here. I got to say, your apartment is much better, even if you did not let me do anything but stay in bed.”
“The doctors had not yet cleared you.” Mobius reminded him. “You may be a god, but I do not need to remind you of how hurt you were when you got here.”
“I’m fine, truly you do not need to worry.” Loki rested his hand on his shoulder to reassure him. “Besides, if you keep worrying over nothing, we will be late, and I will tell B-15 it was not my fault for once.”
“I will still put the blame on you.” Mobius said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along as he walked, the meeting was in the main room next to the cafeteria, so it wasn't far, but they still had to get a move on.
“That is quite rude.”
“You still love me though.”
“Unfortunately.” Loki smiled warmly and chuckled at the pout Mobius sent his way, he was incredibly grateful and lucky that he had the strength and will to make it back, he doesn't know what would have happened if he had given up in one of the other timelines, like he had thought many times of doing. He walked with Mobius through the corridors and despite being in the midst of a multiversal disaster that would bring nothing but uncertainty and problems, he had never felt happier and at peace, surrounded by the people he cares about and loves, he smiled to himself at the thought.
“What’s with the smile?” Mobius asked fondly.
“Nothing, I am merely noting how I was right, we are on time.”
“You're always right.” Mobius faux grumbled. “Well then, shall we?”
“After you.” Loki grinned and followed Mobius into the room, where he greeted B-15 before starting the meeting.