Chapter Text
They didn’t have money for mostly anything. At least Tommy could somewhat take care of the material and repair issues of their shitty apartment, if he secured this job tubbo has been talking about that is.
It was a quiet day. It poured rain last night, so much in fact that Tubbo had to take in their plants so they didn’t get over watered, and Ranboo put out a water catcher since the rainwater is much cleaner! Honestly, ‘overwatered’ is such bullshit, they’re plants! They should be grateful they are drinking. They’re petty, boring, and Tommy got sick from eating an infected tomato once. ‘The worms will provide neutrance!’ Ah. Such a foul memory.
They’re out to get me, I tell you! They’re plotting, with their growing, sunbathing, and providing us food… ok I might be going a bit overboard. I swear they are trying to unionize against us though, are plants even real? I mean they are illegal. They’re probably mutant aliens from the movies they watch online, fully legally of course we aren’t pirates. They’ve got scurvy and shit and Tommy has great nonexistent health records.
‘Course he would never admit it, but he’s got a huge soft spot for nature. He always does well with it and can summon permanent nature and shit as half of his powers. Not good though, he’s had a few ‘learning experiences’ in that department.
“..mmy! ommy! TOMMY!” He hears a shriek from under him.
Oh, he was on top of Tubbo. Sure he was spacing out, but if Tubbo wasn’t a bitch he could’ve gotten out from under him, it’s not like he’s all muscles. Wait! Nononono! He is just pure muscles and he can deadlift. He is hench and will destroy any hero that comes his way.
He quickly scrambles off of Tubbo before he results in kicking, or worse, headbutting. His horns aren’t visible from his nest of hair but they still hurt like hell. He doesn’t need more small bruises right before the big interview!
He ends up straight on the ground, wings pointed up in mitchmatched ways, an absurd amount of feathers flying down like he’s the goddamn flower boy at a wedding. Which I’m sure he will, once Ranboo and Tubbo can get married ‘to fuck over taxes’ which doesn’t make sense since they don’t pay tax anyway but he couldn’t be bothered to mention it.
“Tommy! If you aren’t ready by the time I finish these Eggos I am going to ram into you, I will make sure it hurts!” He barely heard him over the sound of the broken ac and microwave (Eggos cook perfectly fine in the microwave! We are broke but still deserve to eat non ice cube waffles!) Ranboo is nowhere in sight, he’s probably working at his stocking job. It is after all… Friday?
“Ughhhhhhhhhh…” Tommy barley lifted himself from their concrete floor, “Coming Small T, don’t you worry.” He padded out into their living room/kitchen combo.
“Bitch! Why am I small all of a sudden?” Tubbo sounded genuinely offended by the nickname.
“Mmm… because you’re being a pussy.”
Tommy slipped on some black sneakers. He slept in his interview clothes the night before, not to be lazy mind you, it’s just that they’re the best clothes he owns. White sweater vest, red base shirt, blue jeans, and some kick-ass white base, pink polka dot socks! Shoes too, but they’re boring and not important. Just some converse.
Tommy walked into the kitchen and snagged the Eggo. It looked a tad bit dehydrated and wrinkled, but you can’t afford to have high standards in district 97. He looked over to their white and black clock. They did not dumpster dive outside of the back of a school for it because Thomas Innit has standards, thank you very much. Do not ask about the whereabouts of the clock. Oh shit!
It was already 7:58? Bullshit! Tommy stuffed the Eggo into his mouth.
“You forgot the syrup you dumb fuck! You were the one to convince me to get the syrup in the first place!” Tubbo frowned at him. He wasn’t normally such a bitch to supreme overlord Tommy, he was just stressed. Tommy quickly ripped the cap off, “NO!” Poured a good amount in his mouth already stuffed with the Eggo, “You are a menace! You can’t keep doing this! You’re as bad as Ranboo!” And mixed them together the good old Tommy way. Swishing like you would mouthwash.
He dashed out the door with some special laminated papers, and his special coat.
Once he was out of the door, his wings were hidden by the maroon trench coat, it is magic after all. Illegal, since it’s out of city magic. Magic specifically made for him, it’s not uncommon a lot of hybrids with big features use it out in public. Hero’s, villains, and vigilantes alike too. Hybrids weren’t discriminated against, not anymore at least it’s just a bit of an issue when your feathers are in horrible shape and you don’t know how to fix it. And you leave feathers all over the place, issuing complaints. And if they saw the state of your wings CPS and the police could easily be called. And when angel hybrids are basically extinct. The gene being recessive, hard to contract, and hard to survive. That’s why he has no idea how to care for his wings. They aren’t small by any means, in fact they’ve got around a 8 foot wingspan. He’s not got the time to measure it though. He’s still growing during his hybrid phase, Tubbo and Ranboo often calling him a little chicken or a chick since he can’t fly yet. He’ll have to wait another year until he turns 18. Trust me I’m counting the days. He has one last painful growth spurt and it will be safe to fly with his instincts down. He’ll have to self teach himself. It’ll be harder without someone to guide him but whatever! He’s Tommy he can manage.
He isn’t going to show off his wings though. And there’s already an angel hybrid! The #1 hero Philza has already gotten that spot. And rightfully so! That man is terrifying, but still great with civilians. He might be a hero and all hero’s are a bit dog shit but he’s like golden dog shit! Still under the category of dog shit but he shines though! Tommy’s never met mr. Golden Dog Shit and he doesn’t know if he would want to because he would not like Tommy.
He also has two partners, Jubilee and Blade. Jubilee is a bit dumber than the other two, I mean who names their superhero name after a train station? He can go invisible and stuff like flying through walls which is alright. Dead bitch. Blade is really scary and I think I’d faint if I saw him in person, but he’s still wicked cool. He’s got a huge bloody axe! Who wouldn’t find that cool? Mainly Tubbo because he said the weight was impractical but if you were as strong as the Blade you could definitely use it practically! Speaking of the Blade being buff, almost every physical trait is buffed! Eyesight, hearing, balance, speed… you name it. Way better than hanging out like you escaped a graveyard.
He still won’t meet them though, they’re the best heroes in the goddamn country and he’s a speck in district 93.
His shoulders hurt like god damn hell. Granted they always do, wings and not getting a goddamn care manual and stuff. But they always hurt a bit more in the most annoying way when he wears his trenchcoat. Don’t get him wrong, he looks absolutely poggers but god damn! It hurts like a bitch! Like Tubbo ramming into his back over and over! Whatever. He took some Advil when he drank the syrup. It'll just be a waiting game to see it kick in.
The streets of L’manburg district 93 were beautiful. God damn excellent. Fuck what the upper 20 have to say, fuck the capital reports, because they’re wrong. It’s historic. 93 was the very first settlement of lmanburg and it shows in the decade old recipes, historic homes, the culture itself.
And since then it’s only grown, merging with 94-100 since those were no longer livable. All of the residents merged and we became an even bigger family! Abandoned districts taken over by the wild, still as dangerous but the rewards are better. With more up to date technology. Still no true magic though, like his coat. It’s half of the size of all top 15 combined and I feel bad for the hero’s because they’re actively avoiding it. Hell, he’s almost glad they’re avoiding it. They’re just over glorified stuck up prudes. If they did patrol he wouldn’t be able to do some small Vigilante work here and there, he wouldn’t be able to save faces in his community that he recognizes, and he recognizes all of them.
He knows for a god damn fact that the hero’s don’t recognize faces. He also knows he shouldn’t stereotype but how can he help that when he hasn’t been proven wrong once?
-
Tommy got onto the bus, paid the fee, and decided to look over his very legit resume. It was legit because he had a fake name, fake home, fake birth parents, fake birthdate, fake education, okay basically everything was fraud.
Tubbo and Ranboo looked over it apparently, some kind of janitor position. Worked in a government building, but it’s whatever, don't think he’ll have to work with someone he wants to sock in the face that badly. If it does get to that point he can just walk out and never return. What are they going to do? Contact his fake parents? Go to his fake address? That isn’t even an open apartment complex, but one destroyed in a battle?
He bets if it gets caught as being false information he will be able to get away. He also bets they won’t even do a good background check. By the time he gets to the small office building in the capital, it’s already 10:37. Interviews start at 10:45, so he decides to just wait it out and see what he should look out for.
The building is simple but modern, the inside is a waiting room for the interviews as soon as you step in. Is this building being rented? Just for interviews? It’s a janitorial position, goddamn! He notices a lot of people in their mid twenties, still some teenagers though. They all look very prestigious compared to him.
Then he sees some feathers across from the room, someone going up to a makeshift stand.
Philza, god damn #1 hero, pretentious fuck of pretentious fucks around the world.
The crow tapped the microphone- hell even that looked expensive, “Hello! Welcome everyone, I’m sorry we couldn’t give much information on the flyers and advertisements. We had to weed out a few villains, bugs, and overall plants here and there.” Then why the hell was he still here?, “But now we can disclose some great news! It will be in the A wing! A very high end wing so we need to make sure everything, including the cleaning teams, are safe and also trustworthy.”
Tommy zoned out pretty quick. Seriously? He rode a bus all the way here, got up at the ass crack of dawn, for this? Just his luck. Philza might be the golden dog shit in the park, but this isn’t worth it. I’m just going to get arrested. The goddamn Blade is in the corner! To the left of him! Only about 7 feet away! Watching everyone! I’m out. No way.
“-Thank you all for coming! We will be calling people up in alphabetical order, please be patient and we will get to everyone in an orderly fashion.” Philza got down from the podium and started to survey the room, dropping comments.
That’s his cue. He grabs his papers, makes sure his coat is situated, and with his cheap ass coffee he grabs in the spot of the moment to look busy he walks to the door.
He’s about two and a half goddamn feet away when someone tugs on his sleeve. He’s kept in place.
He looks around to see the worst goddamn person in the world. Jubilee.
The man smiles at him, he’s clearly not using his powers like he was a moment ago, as he’s completely solid, “Hello there! I’m so glad you came to apply. Could I see your form really quick though? My apologies, but you look on the young side and we said in the flyer we don’t want a minor to take up the job due to it clashing with school hours and being full time.” He smiles at Tommy, taking a step forward as he takes one back, “Oh! I’m Jubilee of course, and you..?”
Tommy looks back at him nervously, “Oh! That’s cool. Well, no need to worry I am leaving. Good day.”
He spins on his heel, but Jubilee just tightens his grip. “Why? Did I say something that upset you?” He tilted his head, the friendliness replaced with worry and a bit of suspicion,
Tommy giggled a bit, too deep in, might as well lie my way out, “Nothings wrong! I should really be going. Don’t want to waste your time. I’m sure you have got lots of fans here.”
Jubilee quickly shifted his arm from Tommy’s coat sleeve to his right shoulder as he tried to get away. Tommy held back a Yelp, yeah it was sudden and spooked him a bit. It was still nothing compared to the pain I felt from where his wings were hidden by the flimsy magic.
I went straight to pulling down on my hair, trying to distract myself from the current situation. “Let me the fuck go!” I growled, a few people looked our way. I noticed the blade did too. Or was he already watching us? Phil made eye contact with the man behind me. They had a silent conversation and I hope it leaned in my favor or I am fucking fucked!
Jubilee frowned, “Wow, you didn’t even tell me your name. Can you tell me or give me your resume?” Ah shit.
Tommy shifted nervously, “You can call me uhhh…” he paused for a second, “...Tomathy?” He cringed, oh my fucking god.
He chose the name TIMOTHY on his resume, and at this time he clearly wasn’t thinking the Tommy way.
Jubilee smiled brightly, “...Ok! I’m just going to call you Tom. I am not losing my dignity calling you that.”
Fair enough, I suppose.
“Yeah that’s alright, can you let go of my shoulder? Since you know my name?” His voice sounded a bit more meek than he would’ve liked, not intimidating like Tommyinnit™. He knows his last choice was dumb, but he would rather be angry then scared!
At least he quickly let go of him, spouting an apology and keeping that sickening smile. Seriously, how much does this guy's face hurt at the end of the day?
“These interviews are a bit drab, don’t you think?” He put his full arm around me, not roughly, not to hurt more to keep me in place. “I’ll show you some cooler areas!” He started to walk to a hallway I couldn’t see the end of. “You don't seem to be wearing clothes from the upper districts, so that means I can tour you!”
Nonono! This is how people get kidnapped! Is he trying to arrest me but do it in private? A polite kidnapping?
I followed him, dragging my feet a bit as we walked. Is this how the great Tommyinnit™ loses?
~~
While Phil was holding interviews with a few random managers, Techno and I got to shit talk everyone in the corner.
I was invisible of course, keeping my voice down so I could eavesdrop. A lot of the same old in the capital. Stocks, bonds, golden parachutes. I just want to go home honestly. I couldn’t give less of a shit who’s working in the same wing as us. I did notice some kid though, he had light vanilla blonde hair, and blue eyes. Like blueberries, but not edible obviously. His ears were slightly pointed just like Phil, which is cool. Although Phil’s hair is more of a yellow blonde and his blue eyes are leaning on a grey shade, old man. His eyes were really striking. I had to do a double take to see if they were contacts. They were a really deep blue.
My first thought was, wow those eyes are crazy! My second thought was he looks way too young, and a bit malnourished. Maybe he could get Phil’s attention and when they interview him, give him wilburs bagel he packed for a snack? Kid didn’t look too good.
I pointed him out to techno, “doesn’t he look a bit young to be applying? Looks a bit too drastic just for a baby face.” I whispered to him.
My fathers little improvised speech lasted another two minutes, him shifting and rolling his shoulders, Techno added that he was acting like he was hurt.
The speech came to a close. We were supposed to introduce ourselves and warm up to everyone in the room, since one will be a new employee.
Why not start off with the kid? Maybe see if he’s hurt?
That hope of looking over the papers in his hands was pushed out quickly, as my third and final observant thought was, is he looking to bolt?
He kept glancing between Phil, Techno, the front door and scanning the windows. What the fuck set the kid off this fast? If he was a spy, he would surely stay. Spy was off the list, so why didn’t he want to apply now knowing he would work closely for hero’s?
I speed walked over to him, grabbed his arm, and had a mainly one sided conversation.
I was a bit desperate, so I grabbed onto his shoulder without thinking. SHIT! He managed to get even more pale, if that was even possible. Shit! Shit! Shit!
I know I hurt him, but I really don’t want to let go, he quickly got more obvious with his plans.
Also seriously? Tomathy? Does he think I’m as dumb as Techno? I am not calling someone who clearly has a fake name Tomathy, I am not losing my dignity that way especially on company time.
Tomathy isn’t even a name. Did he mess up Thomas and Timothy? Dumbass. He is a lovable dumbass though and he’s clearly spiteful which isn’t a common trait around hero’s. Who tells a famous hero to fuck off before his interview with him? Kids got balls. Can you blame Wilbur for being a bit curious? It’s not my fault!
People were already looking at us, he’s probably just grouchy and needs some food. I’ll take him to get some food and ask why he was leaving, maybe get to know him better. He clearly needs the money though, if he has to lie about his name and also the clothes look mitch matched. I have to say the pink socks are creative! But the shoes look like they’ve been glued back together a few times, nothing is ironed and the coat looks completely different from the rest. Something is off about the lower part, fanning out a bit despite no wind. It also is really good quality and not in the price range of the other clothes.
Not going to lie everything looks stolen, left in a dumpster, or from a local goodwill. His hair also looks like Phil’s bed, a bird's nest. He’s a bit judgy though and probably shouldn’t profile but the kid is still underweight and it’s time for Wilbur to do the unimaginable, channel his inner Philza.
“Want to get lunch? I know some great places!” Wilbur smiled at him. What the fuck?
He’s not arrested yet, he’s not been taken to a back room to be interrogated, and he’s just been let out of the back door? Seriously?
Something is seriously wrong. Jubilee is a hero. Derogatory, very shit and rude hero’s are! Is he playing the long game? Oh my god he’s going to get poisoned or paralyzed so it’s easier to take him in. Tactical warfare and shit. Oh nooo TommyInnit™ is not doing very poggers. In fact he is doing quite cmonbruh, and that’s not a very good thing to be!
“Also we can get you some medication, you look really out of it not going to lie,” This is bullshit. I’m never returning to any of the upper districts again. “What happened? So I know what kind of medicine to get.”
They were back in an alleyway. I don’t blame Jubilee, I wouldn’t want to go on the main streets as a hero either. It was dirty, and the only people there were druggies and teens.
Jubilee's hair was a mess, not like Tommy’s which really needs a brush but he needed a good cut. Ranboo always cut Tubbo and his hair so he wasn’t an expert but surely that got in the way when doing superhero work?
He had no idea, superheroes always avoided his district. Hell, there weren’t many vigilantes either. As long as criminals and villains stayed away from the civilians it was like an unspoken rule. If it’s homemade and not mass produced, leave it alone, and if it’s a chain, blow it up at night when it’s empty. Granted, there weren’t any chains as they got driven out long ago. Don’t snitch on those pulling down capitalism and classes. Just stupid, won’t solve anything. Only kill if that’s a risk they signed up for.
A hero hadn’t been to their district in 47 years. Since nobody called the police they were underfunded and were driven out. Hero’s couldn’t find anything from gossip or civilians about big villains so no fame or money was to be made.
After those left, with corporations (mainly banks for money and grocery stores for food) being run dry almost everything was run by the common man. Walmart was the last to go, it had a gun aisle so I’m surprised it didn’t go sooner honestly.
God bless almart. Someone stole the W so there could only be L’s.
“So where are you from?”
“Ligma.”
“Ha ha. Very funny. Seriously, where are you from?” He sees the hero roll his eyes under the masquerade mask.
“Everywhere. I do Penny Trading. Travel a lot.”
“What the fuck is Penny Trading?” Tommy snickers.
“Penny trading your mom!”
“Huh?” Wilbur stopped to look at him confused.
“Penny trading your mom?” Tommy tries to tell him his wisdom again.
“She’s dead.” Oops. Time to be gender inclusive.
“..Penny trading your dad!” Let’s go!
“Fuck you.”
“Ha! No thanks, I don’t want to Penny Trade you.”
“I don’t understand what that means!”
“You will when you’re older, Jubilee.” The child shakes his head sympathetically.
Gottem.
“We’re here!” A concrete building with large windows shines down on them.
The bell makes a dull thud as they walk inside.
Wilbur pulls his wallet up as he strolls to the counter, “Niki! I’m here to buy some food for me and my new friend!”
“Who?”
Wilbur looks around for the kid to find him and the wallet dashing out of the door as it makes a thud.
“My ID! My Starbucks gift card! God damn you little kid!”
He hears cackling as he resounds himself to sulking out of the shop, with not enough money to even buy something for himself.