Chapter Text
It had been three years since the war ended and the trial had taken place, and it felt so calm. There was something about being on what could be considered the other side.
The first year was still quite rough, and while Anakin had more good moments than bad - he had to deal with the aftermath. The aftermath of learning that a lot of what he had been taught was a lie - that the trust he had put into those around him was a lie. He had to deal with the fact that it was all to groom him into becoming a sith apprentice.
The very thing he feared.
Time moves on, and so does a person. The processing would never be over. The period of his life in the Clone Wars would plague him forever, as would everything he did to himself.
Scars could heal, but they remained raise along his forearm - reminding him of something that felt both so close and so far away from him.
His body was not as lucky. The years of damage impacted a lot of him, and he had lost two of his back teeth after the purging had impacted them too much to repair. He never fully felt as if he could go back - nor did he want to. Something was also so calm.
Nostalgia existed alongside the calm. He did miss it. He missed the nights in the library fresher, or the hunger. He missed the way it numbed him out. It was something quite hard to shake when he felt it. His entire world would stop for moments as his heart began to beat strongly. He could feel everything that happened in those moments.
He remembered the moment Obi-Wan had first found out, and then the realization of relapse. How they had run through the same red hallway - Anakin’s world collapsing, and how calm Obi-Wan had been. He remembered the conversation with Ahsoka, and the amount of times that he had broken her heart through the whole thing - yet she remained by his side.
He remembered the sheer amount of times he had collapsed in battle, and the awkward conversations that came afterwards. The sheer amount of injections needed to keep him alive.
The time on Tatooine and the absolute depression he had been in afterwards. Obi-Wan’s determination to help. The conversation that happened behind a closed door, and how desperate Anakin was.
He remembered Fives and how he found out about the plot. He remembered the trial - the excruciating trial that saved his life. The birth of the twins, and the changing of the Council.
It all would come back to him often. He would feel it in every fiber of his being, but he learned to brush it off. It was a feeling like everything else. It would disappear eventually.
He remembered the conversation with Obi-Wan - the calm behind the storm. The quiet halls of the temple, and the pitter patter of tiny feet from two twins that never knew when to stop.
How the nights weren’t loud in the Jedi Temple.
The twins had just celebrated their third birthdays, and it was something surreal to Anakin. He hadn’t expected to ever make it so far.
There were many moments where he truly thought he wouldn’t, yet he stood along the stone pathways on Naboo - Padme insisted they spend the birthday week away from Coruscant. The evening light was quite dim - but not entirely gone. An orange hue fell along the lakeside.
Nothing had been easy. Anakin still had weekly holo sessions with a mind healer, and even now, years after the fact - had the same thought patterns.
It was clear that those would never go away.
Padme stood in the archway - behind Anakin. He could feel her radiant smile from behind him.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it.” She observed. Anakin looked back, startling from what was almost a meditation.
“It really is.” He said, and she stepped forward to place her head on his shoulder. They stood on the balcony together. The same spot where they first talked, where they got married, and where they first kissed.
He looked behind him one more time to see a very excited Ahsoka holding Luke - who was fiddling with her shirt, and Obi-Wan, who held Leia’s hand. He smiled gently and waved before prompting Leia to do the same.
Anakin was never more happy to be alive.