Chapter Text
Hajime Iwaizumi’s POV
2 years later
“I’m home!” Iwaizumi called through the house as he flung his bag onto the table before plunking down into one of the island bench stools. He was utterly exhausted, and his feet were killing him.
Having a 12-hour shift would do it to most people, but then Iwaizumi realised that it had been his last shift at the damn café. In seconds his mood heightened, and he was bounding to his feet wanting to celebrate his changing in careers with some nice dinner and a few drinks.
‘Meowww’
“Merak” Iwaizumi smiled down at the ginger tabby cat with zebra white stripes that came strutting over from where she had been dozing by the window in the late afternoon sun.
‘Arf, Rarf’
The noise came first before a little Maltese rounded the corner at such a high speed it tripped with a yelp and slide the rest of the way to Iwaizumi’s feet. “Zee, hello to you too,” he greeted.
Merak hissed and swiped her claws at her archenemy, but it didn’t seem to faze the puppy who was quickly picked up by Iwaizumi, “Now, now be nice!” he scolded.
Merak only ‘Hhmp’ before turning around and walking away.
‘Arf,’ the only warning Iwaizumi got before he was attack with sloppy kisses.
“Anyone home?” he called out once more, placing Zee back on the floor, yet again silence greeted him, and he tilted his head pondering, ‘I know that they didn’t have anything on today… Did they perhaps go out?’
Walking down the hallway, he got his answer and he grinned, taking his phone out from his back pocket and turned around to get a selfie, making sure to get the other two in it and - click - he captured the moment in a beautiful paused image.
“AHaha, Shittykawa’s not going to like this one bit,” he laughed.
“Iwaa?” a sleepy murmured ask, and he turned around watching as Tobio sat up rubbing a fisted hand against his eyes.
“What are you doing…” Oikawa grumbled before proceeding to pull Tobio back down and into his arms, “go back to sleep… I still tire~” the words lured off as sleep re-found him.
Seconds passed before, “NO!” Tobio shrieked as he burst free of Oikawa’s hold and kicked him off the couch and with an - emf - Oikawa shot up and looked around disoriented.
“What!” he panicked, looking around, and finally he looked straight towards the camera currently pointed in his direction. “Iwaizumi! You shit, delete that this instant or else -”
“Or else what crappykawa?” Iwaizumi dared taking a step forward, still having the camera filming the interaction.
Oikawa didn’t give Iwaizumi much warning before he launched, and Iwaizumi was twirling on the spot to avoid the outstretched arm and sprinted back the way he had come.
“Argh!” a groan of pain came from behind him and when he turned back around, Oikawa, was back on the floor hugging his knee to his chest.
“Tooru!” Tobio panicked, accidentally calling the older boy by his first name.
“Oh shit!” Iwaizumi also panicked, dropping his phone and coming back to aid his fallen boyfriend, “Are you okay… I’m sorr-” before he could finish, he was pulled into a headlock and tackled to the wooden floorboards.
“HAA got you!” Oikawa cheered over Iwaizumi’s fallen form, “And if I remember correctly, you addressed me by my first name…” Oikawa said as he raised his head, a slight smirk in play towards Tobio.
“Argh, N-no I-I don’t th-think so… You must be hearing things,” Tobio stuttered.
“Oh you're right I must be,” Oikawa said tapping a finger against his chin before leaning forward, “or maybe you're lying?”
Tobio shook his head, “Never!”
“Hmmm?”
“Noo-” Tobio tried to drag out the ‘no’, but Oikawa had already smashed his lips against the other’s, which shut the younger up.
“Did ya all just forget about me?” Iwaizumi pouted - which was very out of character for him.
“Of course not, love,” Oikawa said and kiss the other man as well. When he pulled away, he whispered, “Congrats on your last shift. Now, would you like steak or Orecchiette with cime di rapa for dinner?”
“Let's have Orecchiette!” Tobio beamed.
Oikawa gave him a look, “It's not your choice!”
Tobio pouted.
“Can we have drinks?” Iwaizumi asked.
“Of course love,” Oikawa smiled, “anything for you.”
Toru Oikawa’s POV
Over the dinner table Oikawa watched as Tobio sat his cutlery down and took a deep breathe before saying, “I have a game this Sunday.”
Oikawa froze up, suddenly no longer having an appetite.
“That’s cool, I’m free, so I’ll definitely be there,” Iwaizumi smiled before continuing with his food.
“Oikawa…” Tobio said before sliding off like he wasn’t sure how to progress the conversation.
“Yeah!” Oikawa jumped, “what is it?”
Tobio looked timid as he looks back and forth between Iwaizumi who also placed down his cutlery before taking Tobio’s hands from across the table and squeezed it in reassurance.
“D-Do you think you will be able to make this game.”
Oikawa dropped his fork - it smashing against his plate in a shattering ‘ crash’ and ‘clang’ .
It was such a shock that Tobio yelped, tumbled from his chair to the floor in an effort to make some distance between the sound that resembled thunder and lightning too much.
Oikawa jumped from his chair as soon as he saw his youngest boyfriends cowering form. Memories rushed back as the argument engulfed his mind, “I-I I’m s-s-s-sorry… I didn’t mean to-” he said shakily. “I-I” he turned to look at Iwaizumi who was now by Tobio’s side, “What do I do, Iwa? I didn’t mean to…”
Iwaizumi also wide-eyed, scared of this non-threatening event that was now effecting his boyfriends, “Toru I need you to take a deep breath for me,” Iwaizumi started as he pulled Tobio close - knowing he couldn’t deal with both at the same time, “Come on baby… just in- out- in- out-”
Currently, Oikawa’s breathing pattern was in- in- in and when his mind couldn’t take the constant oxygen it switched to out- out- out and once again when the brain ran out of oxygen it yet again switched.
“TORU!” Oikawa snapped out of it, “In-” Oikawa followed the order, “Out-” Oikawa let the air out, “In-” bringing the air in he realised he was finally breathing, “Good… so good baby keep doing that-” Iwaizumi turned to Tobio, “-Tobio? Are you okay?”
Oikawa over his breathing could hear the shaky, “yes” before he evacuated the room.
The thing was Tobio and Oikawa both still struggled greatly with what had happened, but over the 2 years they had gotten so much better, but these relapses sometimes occurred, and they would need a few minutes to bring themselves back down before proceeding in a healthy conversation because communication had become a vital key in their healing and for their reason in still being in a relationship.
“Oikawa?”
An hour had passed since Oikawa had come into the study to meditate his panicking thoughts and dull down his emotions, it’s what his guidance counselor had told him to do when he felt his mind spiralling backwards.
“Can I come in?” Tobio asked again from the door.
Before Oikawa could think he was on his hands and knees bowing deeply, “I’m so sorry Kageyama.”
Oikawa had never been able to forgive himself for what he had done.
“Toru,” Tobio called out and Oikawa lifted his head watching as Tobio walked in and sat on the floor in front of him, “Do you like when I address you like that?”
Oikawa nodded, sitting back as well.
“Then don’t go back to a surname base with me, please. I love you so much, and what happened back there was a mistake-”
“But I-”
“NO! It was a mistake,” Tobio cut in and took hold of Oikawa’s hands, “I’m okay… Okay?”
Oikawa nodded, “About the game-”
“Don’t worry about the game.” Tobio started shaking his head, “I know you're doing your best to get better for me and for yourself.”
“But you and Iwaizumi have obviously talked about it,” Oikawa said, referring to the way Tobio had looked over at Iwaizumi during dinner.
“Yes, we did,” Tobio confirmed.
Oikawa felt his chin tremble - he was failing them by not being strong enough to attend Tobio’s games - he was weak .
“I’m seeing your thoughts Kawa,” Iwaizumi said as he joined them in the study, “You are by no means weak...we-” Iwaizumi continued pointing between himself and Tobio, “Wanted to see how your process was coming along, and obviously you aren’t quite ready to put yourself into a volleyball arena you can’t personally play in… and that is totally okay”
“I-I… I’m so sorry-” Oikawa cried, “But I promise one day I will be there Tobio just a little more time and I will - I PROMISE.”
Tobio laughed and wrapped Oikawa in his arms, “I have no doubts… I love you!”
“I love you too.”
“And me three,” Iwaizumi laughs, wrapping them both in his arms.
“Good evening, Mr. Oikawa,” a kind middle-aged woman greeted as he walked into the small room. It wasn’t obsessively tiny that it felt claustrophobic but just big enough to fit a bookshelf, a comfy reclining chair and a table which the petite women sat behind smiling.
It had almost been 2 years since he first came to address himself and the issues he had been facing. What had started off as 2 visits per week were slowly reducing themselves to monthly as he learnt to grow as an individual and in his relationship with his 2 amazing boyfriends.
“How are you?” Akari asked.
“I’ve been doing okay,” Toru replied.
The lady frowned, not seeing any clear signs of confirmation that he was actually ‘doing okay’ and as Oikawa found himself seated the women said again rewording her question, “How are you feeling?
This time Oikawa took the time to think about it and asked, “Right now?
She nodded.
“Empty.”
“Empty?” Akari tilted her head in wonder, “How so?”
“I feel like I’m failing,” Oikawa said.
“Failing? Why’s that?”
Oikawa sighed, “No matter how hard I seem to be trying, there's still this hurdle that I’m struggling to get over.”
“Have you talked to Hajime and Tobio about this hurdle?”
“No, but I know that they already know... They're not stupid, they see right through me”
“Do you mind extending on how you're ‘failing’ them?”
“Game after game Tobio asked me if I can make it but-”
It was silent for a while, Akari allowing Oikawa the time to think.
“I know they are happy to wait for my progress, but I don’t think I will ever be okay,” Oikawa laughed humourless.
Akira let the silence fest on the confession before saying, “I think you have been lying to yourself.”
Oikawa was shocked by the words, his eyes showing it.
“I think you're just scared to see Tobio on the court that you saw yourself on once upon a time.”
“I-i.”
“You can’t lie to me and don’t lie to yourself. I have told you multiple times to be honest to your emotions, so that you can analyse your situation and ask yourself, ‘okay I’m feeling this now so how am I going to deal with it’ ”
Oikawa took a few deep breaths, finding himself again, “I love Tobio so much.”
“I’m not saying you don’t, but I feel like you're still thinking you're not good enough for forgiveness.”
Silence.
“I believe you don’t want to be forgiven, otherwise that would mean that what you did to Tobio was okay… Am I wrong?”
Oikawa shook his head, she was right on the nail of things.
“What I need you to understand is what you did was wrong, but it was vice versa… correct?”
Oikawa went to shake his head but was cut off by the look she gave him.
“You can’t be placing all the blame on yourself. Tobio also said mean things that day, did he not? Even if it was drilled from the moment or in a defence, he did say stuff he didn’t need to.”
“BUT-”
“But,” she cut him off, “the difference between Tobio and yourself is that Tobio has been ready to move on for a year and a half now, while you are what is stopping that from happening. Iwaizumi and Tobio stopped coming after 6 months, do you know why that is?”
Oikawa shrugged his shoulders.
“They saw the situation and forgave themselves and those around them, but you are stuck on not forgiving yourself, which if you keep going down this path will only continue to stain your relationship with Tobio and maybe one day Iwaizumi as well.”
“So they're growing tired of me.”
“No, not at all. What I am trying to say is by straining yourself from so many precious moments you could be having if you forgave yourself and for once thought that you deserved the time of day and the love - You would find that you, Iwaizumi and Tobio could reach a point of happiness beyond what you have now.”
“Does it all fade?”
“The pain?”
Oikawa nodded.
“No… it will not, but we all learn to live with it and day by day things will start to become better and once you learn how to strive through the echoes of this pain, everything becomes better and maybe even better than how they used to be.”
A moment passed and then another before Oikawa shot up out of his chair, giving the woman a heart attack and declaring, “This will be my last visit!”
“We still have half an hour-” Akari tried but ..
“Don’t care! I have things I have to do…. Thank you for everything!” Oikawa said.
She smiled and chuckled, “My pleasure. I wish you an endless life of happiness. Oh and Oikawa before you run off,” Oikawa turned back around, “I want you to know that you have come so far and to never forget that.”
Oikawa ran out the door, yelled behind him, I’ll send you the money.”
She yelled back, “Don’t worry, this one's on me - Good luck!”
“TOBIO KAGEYAMA!” Oikawa called through the house as he burst through the front door like an elephant on steroids.
“What?” Tobio asked jumping from where he sat beside Iwaizumi who also quickly raised from the couch and lucky enough so because the next thing they know Tobio is being tackled back onto it by Oikawa who then raised up and sat up on Tobio’s waist.
‘Hmpf’ Oikawa made.
“Oikawa?” Iwaizumi asked as he looked at the time, “you still had half an hour left if you had finished earlier I would have come to pick yo-”
Ignoring Iwaizumi, Oikawa shouted once again, “TOBIO!”
“Yes?” Tobio asked again, a bit scared now of how serious Oikawa was being.
“Do you believe in me?”
Tobio looked confused looking at Iwaizumi in question but the other just shrugged his shoulders. “Of course I do,” Tobio started, “You're the only person I know who has had to overcome so much and proceeded with such driving force.”
“THEN I WILL BE COMING TO YOUR GAME TOMORROW!”
“Yeah… wait what! Are you being serious?” Tobio asked and Oikawa nodded.
Tobio squealed, sitting up with Oikawa now in his lap. “Are you sure?” Tobio again asked and Oikawa nodded again, “... you better not be pushing yourself for my sake.”
“I’m not,” Oikawa confirmed before turning to Iwaizumi, “You will definitely be there won’t you?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Don’t worry stupid Kawa I’ll be there with you all the way,” Iwaizumi smiled, running his fingers through the latters hair.
From the side line Oikawa watched, eyes bright and stars in his gaze, and finally for the first time he cheered, loud and with a full heart, “GO TOBIO!”
Ocean eyes turned, and Tobio smiled right at him. Slowly, with his pointer finger stretched out, Tobio lifted his hand and pointed at him as if saying - ‘This one is for you’ - and Oikawa felt a tear run down his face at the simple meaning behind that gesture.
Tobio continues to raise his hand, a ball now in it before throwing it high up into the air, takes three wide steps and leaps. His pupils blow wide, scanning the court as his hand comes into contact with the molten ball. It crashes down onto the other team side of the court and despite their libero’s best efforts at receiving it, they miss, and it makes a beautiful ‘ bam ’ sound echoing the arena.
“Yeaahhhhhhh!” Tobio cheered.
Oikawa’s eyes widened, his heart beating fast in his rib cage. It felt like he was down there playing by Tobio’s side, and he realised that just because he was no longer able to play, there were people like his Tobio-chan who were playing each and every game on behalf of him.
More tears fall.
“Hey, Kawa! What's wrong? Are you okay?” Iwaizumi asked, grabbing Oikawa and turning him, so he was looking into hazel eyes, but Oikawa only pushed his face into the other’s chest and wept. “It’s okay, I’ve got you… everything will be okay - I promise. You're doing so well.”
Through the rest of the game, Iwaizumi held Oikawa close as they both watched on as the Schweiden Adlers pushed an evenly matched battle against the Tachibana Red Falcons before winning the game, and you could easily hear Oikawa’s screams of joy over everyone elses, but that was a story for another day.
“How was I?” Tobio beamed, smiling as he walked over. “Did you see me, Oikawa? That last hit in the second set was all for yo-”
Before he could finish, Oikawa was throwing himself into the younger's arms, who was by now no means taller than him, and sobbed.
“OMG what happened!” Tobio panicked, trying to pull away.
Oikawa held on even tighter, not letting the obviously stronger one of them win, “Tobio-chan-” Tobio paused in his fussing, almost missed the next set of words, “you were absolutely amazing! I’m so glad I came to your game… I-I w-ill neve-r mis-s Aaa-nother.”
Then Tobio was back to fussing over the other as cries grew into wails.
Hajime Iwaizumi’s POV
Iwaizumi took his phone out before snapping a photo. It was beyond beautiful, stunning to see how far they had come from an argument in an apartment to now .
With Oikawa’s face hidden in the nok of Tobio’s neck while the latter fussed over him, Iwaizumi thought, ‘Maybe I should create a photo album… Yeah , I’ll do that.’
~ [◉"] ~
𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚,
𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝,
𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴𝚂,
𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚙 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚝
- 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝.