Chapter Text
The blood was hot and sticky against Kimi’s hands, pulsing in waves over his hands. No matter how much he tried to stop it, it just kept coming and coming and coming.
The wolf lying in his lap was heavy, it’s eyes almost glazing over. It was giving up.
“Shift…Seb please. Shift.” Kimi is begging. His voice is hoarse with pain. The love of his life was dying and there was nothing he could do.
The wolf looks at him, eyes lost of light. Images flood Kimi’s mind of every time he had ignored Sebastian or shouted at him. It was clear. Sebastian would rather die than take Kimi’s forgiveness.
“No….” Kimi’s voice breaks and his world seems to spin on itself as the wolf shudders and then lies still in his arms, it’s eyes closing with finality.
Kimi sits bolt upright in bed, his heart pounding and Sebastian’s name on his lips. He can’t breathe, he can’t think. There was so much blood. Seb was dead. He was dead. He was dead.
“Kimi!”
The voice seems to break through the haze of panic and he looks up to meet familiar worried blue eyes. Sebastian.
“Seb-” Kimi’s voice breaks. It’s brittle and lost and it takes just one damn touch from Sebastian to make a sob come from him. Once it’s out it doesn’t stop and he begins to cry in earnest, lost to his pain and the nightmarish images in his head.
Sebastian makes a soft sound and he moves until he can pull Kimi into his arms, rocking the sobbing Finn silently back and forth. “Shhhh it’s okay. I’m here, I’m right here.”
Kimi is shaking in his arms, but the warmth of Sebastian’s scent and the soft sound of his heart soon seem to bring Kimi around from the trauma of his dream. After a little while his sobs seem to fade and he slowly lifts his head, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes. His own golden and full of tears.
“What happened?” Sebastian whispers softly, gently brushing away the gathered tears.
“You didn’t shift back.” Kimi whispers, his voice catching.
Sebastian swallows, looking at him with sorrow in his eyes. “But I did, Muru. I did. I’m here…”
“You wouldn’t in my dream…would have rather died than take my forgiveness…” Kimi says brokenly, wiping at his eyes.
“Oh Kimi…” Sebastian whispers, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m here okay? I forgive you. I do and no matter what I wouldn’t ever leave you.”
Kimi nods, almost trembling with emotion.
Sebastian silently cups his face in his hands, making Kimi look at him. “I hurt you. Remember? I needed to earn that love and trust back.” He looks away for a heartbeat. “I sometimes think I’m going to lose you again.”
“How do you mean?” Kimi asks, looking concerned at him. He had sometimes noticed Sebastian’s smile fade or a thrum of anxiety from him in the bond.
“I just…I was so used to you being so cold to me I thought I’d never get my Husband back.” Sebastian says quietly. “Ever since I got you back, I keep thinking the shoe is going to drop and we will be back to how we were….”
“Oh, Sebby. No. No, of course not.” Kimi whispers, placing his hands on his waist. “I love you, okay? I love you so much.”
Sebastian nods, his hands falling at his sides. “I…I guess we’re both still carrying the trauma of what happened…”
Kimi nods, moving until he’s lying back down and motioning for Sebastian to curl up against his chest. The German beta comes willingly, snuggling in against his chest.
“You listen to me okay? We are okay. We are strong. I’m going to make sure you know this every single day.” Kimi whispers to him softly, the gentlest kisses pressed to his head.
Sebastian starts to relax slightly, moving until he can nuzzle at his neck, “and I promise that I forgive you. With everything I have and I’d never ever leave your side. If I had a choice I’d choose you.”
Kimi sends him a gentle wave of love, calming at his warm weight on top of him. It helps make him feel grounded. Sebastian was here and he was safe. He wanted him safe at his side forever. He wanted Sebastian not to doubt him anymore. An idea enters his head and his heart softly picks up in response to it. He looks at his Husband, feeling excitement flood him.
“Sebby…” Kimi asks, his voice soft and thoughtful.
Sebastian gives a little sound of acknowledgement and Kimi silently brushes his fingers over his face.
“I was thinking, maybe we need to renew our vows.”
Sebastian pauses, glancing up at him with shocked eyes. “What?”
“Hear me out.” Kimi holds up his hand. “What if we, on the next full moon, renewed our vows?”
Sebastian blinks a little. “Kimi, I love you but no one is going to marry two wolves in a church.” He has the amusing mental image of them dressed in suits in wolf form.
“No you idiot. We renew our vows in the day with our pack and our family and in the night well…we have a celebration. Decorate the clearing, have everyone join the full moon run, the two of us can howl on the tallest hill together….”
Sebastian thinks it over, nodding slowly as he thinks over his plans. “Little Myla as our flower girl. She gets to see us getting married and know we love each other.” He continues, giving him a smile. “And we can invite Antonio this time.”
“I like the sound of that.” Kimi admits softly and Sebastian gives him one of his winning smiles.
“Are we really going to do this?” Sebastian asks, hope and love washing over him in the bond.
“Sebastian Raikkonen we are going to do this.” Kimi takes his hand and gently removes his wedding band. At his protest, Kimi just holds the ring up. “No, hear me out. Sit up.”
Sebastian sits up slowly, glancing at his Husband in confusion as Kimi sits across from him and takes his hand again.
“Sebastian, we have recently gone through a difficult patch in our life together. One we never thought we would survive. But we did. Proving time and time again that we are meant to be together. I want to show you that I mean it when I say I forgive you. I want you at my side forever. So…would you do me the honor of marrying me again?”
Sebastian looks at him with tearful warm eyes and he lets out a little sniffle. “Yes, yes I will marry you again.”
Kimi gives him a big smile and slowly places his wedding band back on, leaning in to cup his cheek and kiss him slow and sweet.
Sebastian rumbles, soft and gentle as he kisses him back. The wave of happiness Kimi can feel in the bond sends sparks along his entire being.
He loved Sebastian. With every beat of his heart. He would prove it to him time and time again if he had to, and he knew Sebastian wouldn’t ever leave his side. Not now or ever.
Sebastian looks at Kimi with a hunger in his eyes that he hasn’t seen in a long while and the rest of the night is lost to soft touches and deep burning kisses. The dreams don’t ever haunt Kimi again.