Chapter Text
Cody’s life is grey, these days.
There is no mission today, so his day follows a precisely scheduled routine. He wakes up in the morning, goes to eat in a large, grey hall. After eating, his next destination is the shooting range to practice his aim. He gets the best possible score, every time. Next, Cody goes to the gym, works there for an hour. Showers.
Today marks the end of this two-day rest period, so by the end of the evening he’s called into a meeting where he hears the details of his next mission. An attack on some rebels against the Empire. He’s going to work with a new officer.
“You’ve got experience working with force-sensitives, eh?” asks the woman who holds the briefing, half a smirk on her face.
Cody doesn’t smile, her joke foreign to him. He answers, neutrally, “Yes, sir.”
He does. He used to work with Jedi. Until they betrayed him - no, them, the Republic. Until order 66. Until, until.
She exchanges a look with her colleague. “You’ll be working with one again.”
Cody doesn’t frown, but he feels confused. “Sir?”
They don’t work with Jedi. Any Jedi. They’re all - they’re all enemies. Everyone.
Cody checked the list back then, the first moment of peace they got - he doesn’t know why, but he did, reading through hundreds and hundreds of names, checking faces of those confirmed dead and those confirmed alive after the first days of the Jedi purge.
Obi-Wan Kenobi had survived. Cody was supposed to kill him. He had tried to. He had thought him dead.
The woman doesn’t care to explain. “Dismissed, trooper.”
“Yes, sir.”
The next day brings surprises.
When Cody first sees Skywalker, his mind blanks for a moment.
He says, “Sir.”
It sounds like “Sir?” instead.
Skywalker looks at him, face neutral. “Are you the Commander of the 212th?”
The question comes as a surprise to Cody. Caught off-guard, it takes him a beat or two too long to answer.
“Yes, sir.”
“Have you got a name, Commander?”'
“Cody, sir.”
Skywalker offers a hand. Cody takes it, bewildered.
“My name is Vader”, Skywalker says. “That’s what you’ll call me. I don’t have any official military rank.”
Cody stares. Again, a beat too long. He recognises Anakin Skywalker. The man is dressed in black armour. He’s changed a bit - the long curly hair is shorter, his neck now bare, and his face is slightly edgier, as if he’s lost weight, but this is, without doubt, the man that was at first Cody’s commander before getting his own legion and the rank of general. He has served beside Skywalker. For years.
He dismisses the thoughts, the memories, everything - he can feel, somehow, that Skywalker was never one of the traitors. If he says so, Skywalker is Vader now, and that’s what Cody will call him. That’s who he is.
“Good to be working with you, sir.”
Their first battles are long ones. Skywalker’s - Vader’s tactics are familiar, similar to what they were before, but the man has changed. Most obviously on the outside, as his attire has changed. He wears a helmet and a cloak often - Cody suspects he takes them off only in the company of his men. His voice is different and there’s something in his movements that Cody can’t define.
He moves and fights with the mannerism of an experienced soldier, but when they’re speaking, Vader is almost uncertain. He scans the people around him constantly.
“Sir”, Cody calls to him, at one point, as they're crouching in sand. “I suggest we use a tactic similar to the one we used on Yerbana.”
To Cody, the reference to the past means nothing but what he says, there are no feelings attached. Kenobi had saved his life on Yerbana, but that doesn't mean anything anymore. The memory seems to be equally painless to his men, but Vader - Vader just stares. Cody can’t see his expression hidden behind the black helmet, doesn't know what the reaction is. He doesn’t know if he stepped over an invisible line.
“Yerbana…?”
“Yes, sir. A few months ago.”
It turns out that Vader doesn’t remember. Cody explains the strategy to him quickly, and then they execute it. Vader does it perfectly, getting the smallest of details right, as if he invented the strategy - which he did . Cody certainly didn’t give him a nuanced enough description to perform it so well, and Vader had not said anything about recognising the plan during Cody’s hasty summary.
It is none of Cody’s business. He doesn’t ask. He wonders, though.
Vader does.
Ask, that is.
“Commander...”
Vader stands in the hallway, without helmet, post-battle exhaustion not weighing on his shoulders yet. His forehead is glistening with sweat but there are no visible wounds, no scratches on cheeks. The cold white lights highlight how dusty his armour became in the battle. Cody, less lucky, sits on a bench, getting his injured shoulder treated by their medic.
“Sir?”
Vader hesitates for a moment, a look of uncertainty flashing across his face.
“You mentioned Yerbana”, he says, finally. “I… was I on Yerbana?”
“You were, sir.”
Vader watches him for a while. He looks contemplative and curious. Cody doesn’t say anything more, and neither does Vader. After a while of standing there, Vader leaves. Cody stares at his back as he goes.
Cody gets assigned as the commander of Vader’s legion permanently.
He doesn’t know how to feel about that. He figures he should probably feel nothing at all, yet he still feels something crushing when it turns out that Vader’s legion consists mostly of the former 501st and still there is no clone designated CT-7567.
Another mission - they get sent to eliminate remaining separatist leaders. Most of them have been either arrested or killed already, but it seems like some always manage to slither just out of reach.
Vader stands on Cody’s side on the gunship, tall and steady. Natural.
They fight together like they’ve known each other for years. They have . It feels good, Cody thinks, to have someone familiar with him. Even though most of the men of Vader’s legion are former 501st, former friends, everything feels distant. Cold.
Grey.
The mission gets dealt with quickly. Vader is efficient and the hesitant manner that he carries outside battles disappears completely as he works. He just moves, every move calculated and precise. Cody likes precision.
As they’re returning towards their ship, Vader gets jumped by a Jedi. Vader manages to kick her off, but his lightsaber gets knocked further away. Acting quickly, Cody shoots her in the shoulder, then in the leg. Vader finishes her off with a lightsaber to the chest.
(His lightsaber is red. The instinctive alarm in Cody's head, set off by the colour, had shut down quickly, but it shouldn’t have risen at all. This is Vader, his commanding officer.)
The Jedi manages to say “you were one of us” with her dying breath.
Neither Cody or Vader pay attention.
“Good job”, Vader says to him, something akin to pride and satisfaction in his voice. “Think we’re done here.”
“I agree, sir”, Cody replies.
Vader picks his helmet off the ground and wipes sweat off his forehead. He turns to grin widely at Cody, eyes shining brightly. There’s still blood on his clothes from the battle, earlier - none of it his own.
“Thanks for the help”, Vader adds.
Cody feels his own lips turn into a small smile. “Anytime, sir.”
They walk the way back to their ship together, side by side.
The cruiser feels eerily silent as Cody makes his way back to his sleeping quarters. The grey walls only add to the atmosphere. Cody doesn’t mind.
Then he hears footsteps. Fast ones.
“Cody?”
He turns to see Vader. His face is slightly reddened and the man is slightly out of breath, clearly having run a while.
“Sir”, Cody greets, tone polite if a bit confused.
“I… wanted to talk to you”, Vader says, and the uncertainty is back. “Could we…?”
“Of course, sir.”
Cody follows one step behind Vader through silent corridors. They enter what Cody figures are Vader’s quarters. They look somewhat… depressing, for the lack of a better word. The main room isn’t small, exactly, but there isn’t much of anything. A metal table and a couple of similar metal chairs. Everything is neat and clean. Cody never visited Skywalker's quarters, but he doubts they were as shiny.
Vader motions for Cody to sit down, so he does. The chair feels cold.
For a long moment, Vader doesn’t say anything. Cody doesn’t think the atmosphere is awkward, not quite, but it’s slightly tense. Cody isn’t sure what he’s feeling, but it’s unpleasant.
“How long have you known me?” Vader asks, finally, and looks somewhat shocked at his own question.
Cody thinks for a moment. “About four years, I think. Almost five, sir, if not five already.”
Vader stares at him, fascinated. “Did we work together?”
“Often, sir.”
It is like he has blown Vader’s mind by his short and clipped answer. Vader blinks multiple times, looks at his own hands and then frowns.
“I don’t remember anything”, Vader confesses. “I’ve lost all memory from before… before just a few months ago, I think.”
That explains things. Cody isn’t sure what would be an appropriate answer, so he settles with staying silent. He watches Vader more closely, trying to figure out what the man is thinking, what he’s feeling.
“Everything feels odd”, Vader continues. “Like everyone knows me. And sometimes I feel like I know everyone and everything as well, but when I try to think … nothing.”
His words are followed by silence. Vader isn’t looking at Cody like he’s expecting a reply or a reaction. In fact, Vader isn’t looking at him at all - he’s turned sideways, his eyes looking out into space.
“I wanted to ask you - they say that the Jedi who did… that ”, Vader taps his temple, “is called Obi-Wan Kenobi. Did I know him?”
The name wakes a response in Cody, one he has been hoping to bury. It is incredibly uncomfortable, and Cody has to take a moment. His response comes out sharp and terse.
“You - you did, sir.”
Vader blinks, and Cody remembers. He remembers dozens and dozens of missions together. When Vader was Skywalker and not just Skywalker, Commander Skywalker, Kenobi’s padawan. When Skywalker left to be General Skywalker with the 501st, when Cody learned to know Rex, they became friends, they… They’d fought together for so long. Cody remembers Kenobi. His kindness and patience, dry jokes. Loyalty. Cody remembers loyalty.
Why had Kenobi betrayed the Republic? Had he really hurt Skywalker? Erased his memories? Does it matter?
Something bitter and angry fills Cody, but he pushes it away, stomps it down. Turns it into numbness, replaces it with a sense of duty, with loyalty, with certainty. A loyal soldier, that’s who he is. That is his purpose.
“Did you know him?” Vader asks and nearly undoes it all.
“I served under him”, Cody replies, but this time his answer is appropriately neutral and calm.
Vader nods. His expression changes as well, into something more professional and appropriate. He stands up. Cody notices a slight tremble in his hands, but doesn’t say anything. He notes that his own hands shake as well.
“Apologies for keeping you for so long”, Vader says, his voice even, tone matching Cody’s. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
A mutual understanding falls between them. The silence isn’t awkward yet it is very painful, wrenching, and Cody really wants to leave. He walks at a normal pace, Vader following him out.
As he turns to the hallway leading to his sleeping quarters, Vader calls out, and his tone is so panicked and anxious it almost scares Cody.
“When - I mean, back then, what was my name?” he calls. “Was it Vader then, too?”
Cody doesn’t turn, but he answers after a moment of hesitation. “No, sir, it was Skywalker.”
Vader doesn’t say anything anymore. Cody continues walking.
His life is grey, he tells himself. Nothing has changed. He is CC-2224. Cody.
The air is hot around them. The sun shines relentlessly, not easing their travel one bit. Vader leads the way with surprising ease despite his dark clothing.
They’re supposed to find a Jedi here. With only one group of clones accompanying them, this feels like a relatively small mission. Vader had explained that the Jedi had been captured by an acquaintance of the Emperor, and thus, for the sake of being polite, the Emperor had sent an entire group to retrieve this potential Jedi, either to kill or to capture.
Vader motions for everyone to stop, and announces it’d be for the best to take a break. They drink and those who have rations left and want to use them now, eat. Vader comes to sit down next to the stone Cody is resting on.
“What a hellish planet”, Vader says to him while pulling his helmet off. “Can you breathe well with that on? Because I’m telling you that my bucket gets intolerable way too quick.”
Cody grins, which Vader can’t see. “I think that mine is much more wisely coloured, sir.”
Vader never keeps his helmet on for long, taking it off on every mission as soon as they’re finished. He must have instructions to keep it on while interacting with civilians and other military personnel, though, because as Cody suspected, he only takes it off when it’s just him and the legion. The helmet does seem extremely impractical - its lenses are red, and it Vader always needs a moment before his eyes adjust to the actual lighting of his surroundings. Cody remembers Skywalker hating helmets, even if he admitted their usefulness. Rex had joked about it, saying helmets probably disturbed Skywalker's Force-sonar-ability.
“Hmm. That could be it”, Vader says massaging the base of his neck. “Or maybe it’s experience. I don’t remember ever being somewhere this hot and sunny, though that isn’t saying much.”
He says this jokingly, but Cody catches a confused undertone. Vader really doesn’t know. Cody wonders about it but doesn’t ask, because he doesn’t think he should. Instead, he says:
“To my knowledge, sir, you are from a desert planet. Tatooine.”
“Really?” Vader asks, eyes wide in surprise. “That’s - huh. Wouldn’t have guessed. Then again, I don’t know what…”
After pausing for a moment, Vader rolls his shoulders and continues, “The first place I remember is Mustafar. So maybe me, this me, is from there. Huh. I mean, none of that actually matters, but still. Huh.”
Mustafar. A lava planet, and more importantly, a planet under the control of separatists. Or was. Cody supposes that they have been taken care of a long time ago. Did Vader do that?
“Should get moving again”, Vader decides. “Are we still somewhat on schedule?”
Cody’s hidden grin returns as he takes a look at the time. “Early, in fact.”
“That’s how I like it. Come on, let’s go.”
The Emperor's acquaintance is waiting for them, holding a little child by the wrist. Vader gives him the money and takes the child. His movements are too sharp, a bit sudden. The little Tholothian boy is crying and screaming and kicking. Vader lifts him up gently and holds him against his chest. He walks away from their contact’s house after telling Cody and his men to stay and wait.
Cody doesn’t see Vader or the child for a while. The sun is already setting when Vader appears on Cody’s side again. Without the child.
“Sir?” Cody asks.
“Wasn’t a Jedi”, Vader says, sounding a bit sour. “I could feel it the moment we went in. Just a regular kid.”
“Where is he?” Cody asks.
“I asked him where the hell he was from”, Vader explains. “Wasn’t that far. Brought him there, told him to stay away from this place for a while.”
Cody nods. It sounds right.
“Fuck's sake”, Vader adds, frustrated. “If we’re going to be sent running around the galaxy after false clues all year, the real Jedi are going to get away.”
That Cody agrees with, although he wonders why Vader’s reaction is so intense. Cody thinks about loyalty and betrayal. The Jedi betrayed everything they vowed to stay loyal to, everything they swore to protect. They are dangerous, a threat to peace and safety.
According to Vader, this little boy wasn’t one of them.
The hardest battle in a while takes its toll.
Their target, a Jedi, is putting up a strong fight against them, deflecting shots with ease. Vader is still busy fighting another Jedi, so this is something for Cody and his team to handle themselves.
The Jedi lurches forwards, his violet eyes shining in the darkening twilight. Cody dodges the attack, but - but Boil doesn’t, and falls to the ground. The Jedi is about to attack again, when Vader finally gets there, and the Jedi gets what is coming for him, a lightsaber through his torso.
Cody crouches to Boil’s side, but the man is already dead. Vader kneels in the grass beside him, watching the dead man with a solemn look on his face. Rest of the legion gathers around them, mourning the loss of someone that has always been there, it feels like.
“His name”, Vader says, quietly. “What was his name?”
“Boil”, Cody replies, just as quietly.
Vader repeats it under his breath - a name he once knew. (A thought comes to surface, forbidden - Skywalker would've known the Jedi's name as well.)
Cody remembers another name that used to go with Boil, always. Cody remembers endless shenanigans, loud, brash laughter, eye-rolls, inside jokes, elbowing. Cody remembers sharp thinking when it mattered the most. Cody remembers a small girl on Ryloth and empathy.
They gun down a rebel base. Vader is as efficient as always, acting precisely and with familiar certainty, jumping around and whirling his lightsaber. It never ceases to impress Cody. The dance goes on and on, but there are Jedi, three of them, and Vader gets stabbed.
Vader wins anyway, somehow he always does, but after that, he falls to one knee, breathing heavily. Cody has to drag him to their medic. A sense of panic fills him as Vader collapses against his shoulder.
“Don’t bother, we won’t make it that far”, Vader says, his helmet distorting his voice. “I’ll be okay, we’re done soon.”
Cody puts him down gently against a tree stump, and crouches next to him. They’ve got a view down to the attack, and Vader is right, they’re almost done. Cody isn’t sure if he feels proud of that.
Suddenly, Vader grunts and lifts his hands to remove his helmet, revealing his tired face. He runs his fingers through his hair, swiping the hair out of his face and leans his head back, eyes directed to the sky. Cody watches him worriedly, every raspy breath tearing at him. Vader closes his eyes.
“Cody?” he asks, quietly.
“Sir?”
“Does this feel right to you?”
It’s a question clearly directed at him, but Cody isn’t sure whether Vader is actually waiting for him to answer. He looks at the fire of the base. At the corpses of Jedi. At Vader, whose lip is bleeding and more pressingly, who has a gap in his gut.
He thinks.
He thinks about CT-7567. He thinks about Obi-Wan Kenobi. He thinks about betrayal. He thinks about loyalty. The number 66, tying them together.
“I don’t know, sir”, Cody replies, and turns to look back at Vader.
Vader hums. His eyes are still closed, more tightly now.
Cody turns again to look at the destruction. “Do you think it matters, sir?”
A soft laugh, raspy, pained. “I don't remember. Should it?”
For the first time in weeks, Cody checks the list of wanted Jedi.
Almost at the top of the list is the name Obi-Wan Kenobi, accompanied by a picture. Cody doesn’t feel disappointed, or angry, or relieved. He closes the datapad and goes to bed.
Wooley says, “I don’t think we should do this.”
Wooley’s eyes are on the ground. “The Jedi were heroes. But. But now we’re just…”
“The Jedi betrayed the Republic”, Cody says, his voice cold and steady. “They’re traitors, not heroes.”
That makes Wooley look up at him properly and then at the rest of the men sitting at the table. He continues as if Cody hadn’t said anything.
“I didn’t - I didn’t want to, it just happened”, Wooley states, a horror etching onto his face. “Kenobi, he was, he was my - I liked him. Why did - I didn't want to.”
“That is the talk of a traitor”, Cody interrupts. “It was an order.”
“It was wrong !” Wooley retorts, slamming his palm against the table. “Why can none of you see that? Kenobi was good! The best!”
Wooley’s chair makes a screech-like sound as pushes backwards and jumps on his feet. Cody mirrors him, as do the rest of them. Wooley shoves the nearest man, Crys, hard.
“Why can’t you fucking see?”
“Get your hands off him and your head straight”, Peel hisses, pulling Wooley back.
“You get your head straight! Why are we going after good people? Those Jedi last week, they were so young -”
The Wooley only fights back harder, turning hysterical. He kicks and screams and punches. He speaks of a good man with auburn hair, blue eyes, a wry smile and a blue lightsaber. A few minutes later, Wooley’s chest has a smoking hole and Barlex has a blaster in his hand.
The Empire doesn’t tolerate traitors. Crys steps back, his eyes wide, but there is an approving look in Peel’s eyes. Barlex rubs his cheek where Wooley’s hand connected with it. Cody looks at the unmoving man at his feet. No one says anything.
“What happened here?”
Cody turns to see Vader. His eyes move from Cody’s face to the rest of the clones in the hall. His face is indecipherable.
“Wooley was possibly under enemy influence”, Cody replies, his tone void of emotion. “He turned into a Jedi sympathizer.”
“I don’t know about influence”, Barlex mutters darkly. “A traitor is what he was. Always seemed rotten to me.”
“I see”, Vader says, his voice quiet, eyes now glued on the corpse. “And you took care of it.”
“Naturally.”
Vader is quiet for an awkwardly long while.
“I came here to tell you to get yourselves ready. We leave in an hour. Cody, we have a briefing to attend.”'
“Yes, sir.”
Vader stays in the hall as the rest of them leave. Cody doesn’t know what happens to Wooley’s corpse. He was a brave man, but traitors aren’t celebrated.
The briefing room seems darker than usual.
“It’s an order”, Vader states, dully.
Cody agrees. It most certainly is. A direct order.
Intel says there is a suspected hiding place of escaped Jedi younglings on Dantooine. They’ve been ordered to find it and destroy it and its inhabitants. With as much force as necessary. They must depart immediately.
He stands on the opposite side of the table, watching at the holographic display of their terrain. Vader closes his eyes and lets out a hiss between his teeth. Cody waits, his own decision already made. A direct order from the Emperor will be fulfilled, always.
“Let’s go”, Vader says, eventually, his voice even again.
Cody feels relieved, and follows the man out. They stand together in front of the legion, the “Vader’s fist”. They put their helmets on in sync, they stand side by side in the gunship on the way down. They walk at the same pace.
In the end, the intel turns out to be wrong. There is a base, but an abandoned one. Vader searches it thoroughly, and they scout the surroundings as well, and when Vader reports their findings (or rather the lack thereof) to the Emperor, they're given the permission to leave.
“Let’s stay here for the night”, Vader says, looking around at the vast emptiness and the fields around them. “No need to waste fuel by idling around in space aimlessly.”
It wouldn’t really be a waste of anything significant. Vader knows this. Furthermore, they’ll likely get another mission in the morning. Cody doesn’t say anything - it doesn’t matter.
They make a fire, a large one, and settle around it. The men talk in groups around it, chattering about nothing and everything. It reminds Cody of another time. Not a simpler one by any means, but somehow - somehow it was softer. Safer. Gentler.
Better?
Vader sits down on his side. The fire is reflected in his eyes.
“Do you think”, he begins, and his tone makes it sound like a statement rather than a question. “That.”
He pauses and sighs. Cody waits. Vader’s fingers tap against the ground in a consistent rhythm.
“Did Skywalker always follow orders?” Vader asks, the words sounding forced, a frown on his face.
Cody doesn’t need to think long. “No. Not consistently.”
There is a hint of a smile on Vader’s face. “Probably should’ve.”
“It was a good thing sometimes”, Cody offers, earning himself a glance from Vader, something indecipherable in his eyes. “More often than not it was a solution rather than a problem.”
It feels odd to speak of that time. Cody isn’t sure if he feels uncomfortable or not talking about it so nonchalantly. He doesn’t really feel anything, he’s just stating facts, after all. The talking itself is alright - and yet something feels wrong.
“Did you always follow orders, back then?” Vader asks, turning to look at Cody.
“Yes.”
“And now?”
“Yes.”
Vader just nods and then lays down on his back, eyes on the sky. There is something on his face, again. Something desperate. Afraid. Cody doesn’t ask, but he wants to.
“Wish I could remember”, Vader breathes out. “I think.”
A smile crosses his face. A bitter one. He opens his mouth again, but decides against saying whatever is on his mind. Cody feels like he should say something, and he wants to say something, but nothing comes to his mind. The feeling of desperation hits him too, and he doesn’t know why.
He lays down beside Vader, looking up at the stars above, and thinks. About loyalty. About betrayal. About the past and the present, but not the future.
His life is grey. He is a soldier. He follows orders, and goes where they take him.
Cody walks alongside Vader into the hangar of the cruiser. The silence between is the same as always - wrenching, painful, stabbing, but this time Cody doesn’t feel the need to walk further, because he knows the pain will stay the same even if he does.
They go into the hall together to eat. No one else dares to sit with them, usually, but this time someone approaches them.
Cody recognises Tarkin.
“Lord Vader”, the man says, pleasantly, a polite smile on his face.
Vader lifts his head to meet his eyes. “Tarkin.”
His greeting is calm and neutral. Tarkin crosses his hands behind his back, looking back and forth between Cody and Vader. Cody has the feeling he’s expecting something, and he wonders if he should leave.
“Have you got the news already?” Tarkin asks after a short, awkward while.
Vader tilts his head, frowning. “If I’m supposed to know what you’re talking about, then I haven’t.”
“Obi-Wan Kenobi has been seen on Alderaan”, Tarkin says. “He has been seen in the presence of a young female Togruta. Any idea who she might be?”
Vader looks increasingly confused. “No? Should I…?”
He sounds even more confused than he looks, looking at Tarkin with a deepening frown. Tarkin smiles wider, somehow satisfied with this answer. Cody keeps eating and pretending he isn’t present at all. is the kind of man that overlooks the clones' presence. That had annoyed Rex quite a lot, but Cody isn't sure if it ever bothered him.
Cody does know who Tarkin means. He remembers Rex laughing about Skywalker’s new apprentice at the 79’s after Christophsis. He remembers her . The toothy smile, the bright eyes, clever words, caring looks - and the bombing and its trial. The silence afterwards.
Cody knows it isn’t his place to say anything, so he doesn’t.
“I was just asking - perhaps you’ve seen her before”, Tarkin says.
Vader smiles drily. “The Jedi I see don’t really hang around anymore.”
The satisfaction on Tarkin’s face grows, now even reaching his eyes. “Of course. I didn’t mean to insinuate otherwise. We are mostly certain she’s a former Jedi with close ties to Kenobi.”
“Are they my next mission?” Vader asks curiously.
Tarkin smiles. “Yes. I’ll let you finish - come to the briefing room once you’re ready.”
Then he leaves. Vader continues eating, like nothing happened. Cody wonders but doesn’t ask.
Two hours until they reach Alderaan.
Vader is already in armour, standing on the bridge, staring straight ahead. Cody comes to stand next to him. He used to stand just behind Vader, but then the other man would back that little way so that they were side by side.
Skywalker did that, too. Cody remembers.
“That former Jedi Tarkin talked about”, Vader says, quietly, thoughtful. “Skywalker knew her, didn’t he?”
“Yes, sir”, Cody agrees, although he’s quite sure that his confirmation wasn’t needed.
“It’s kind of weird”, Vader continues after a pause, “that I’m going to fight two people that knew Skywalker, probably quite well, yet I don’t know them or him.”
Another pause. Cody wonders. Doesn’t ask. Not his place.
“What about you?” Vader asks. “You said - Kenobi. How are you feeling?”
Cody thinks. He thinks about tired laughs shared at the brink of collapsing, about supporting dead weight and making promises, he thinks about comfort and determination. He thinks and remembers; late night conversations, a shared grim outlook, the same kind of dry humour, the perfect flavour of sarcasm.
He thinks about loyalty. He thinks about betrayal. He thinks about the gleam in Tarkin’s eyes, about Vader’s confusion.
Loyalty and betrayal. The number 66. The weight of a blaster. He remembers kind grey eyes and trust.
“I don’t know, sir”, Cody replies, letting uncertainty paint his voice. “Like you said… it’s weird.”
Vader sighs and looks at Cody, wearing the same expression as by the fire on Dantooine, that same desperation in his eyes. Cody doesn’t feel uncomfortable, exactly, but inadequate, and something like bitterness bubbles inside him. Something angry. Something sorrowful. Desperate, like Vader.
“An order is an order”, Vader says, quietly, his tone almost unfittingly light and wondering, but not quite a question.
“Indeed, sir”, Cody agrees immediately, his voice steady and certain, because that’s something he knows.
His life is grey after all. Whenever there is anything else, Cody does as told. No matter what. A good soldier is what he is, and he would never betray his own men. There’s loyalty, and there’s betrayal, and then there’s duty.
Vader takes a sharp, hitching breath, and looks away. There’s a stabbing pain in Cody’s chest. They don’t speak anymore.
They just wait.
They land on Alderaan. Cody follows Vader, his steps stiff and wrong. He feels off. He doesn’t say anything, though, just follows. Vader keeps clenching and unclenching his left fist.
A woman in an imperial uniform comes to meet them.
“Lord Vader”, she greets. “I will brief you on the details right away.”
It takes forty-seven minutes and eighteen seconds. Cody doesn’t count, but he checked the clock upon coming in and he’s having trouble grounding his thoughts. He wonders if Vader has the same problem.
“Tomorrow”, Vader says to him when they leave, although Cody already knows as he was standing right beside Vader during the entire briefing.
Neither of them sleep, that night. They don’t go to their rooms, they don’t even try.
Instead, they stand at the great window of the imperial base. It’s pitch dark outside. The shrill, white lights of the base give enough light to see the snow falling. Cody feels his pulse racing. It shouldn’t be.
“Hey, Cody?” Vader says, his voice not louder than a breath, as if he’s scared of breaking the silence.
“Sir”, Cody replies, right on his side.
That’s his place, he figures. It isn’t that bad of a place to stand. Everything feels less empty now.
Vader shakes his head. “Have you ever had a choice?”
He sounds… heartbroken. Terrified. Mournful. Bitter, and yet full of wonder. Everything at once, or maybe Cody just can’t identify which one it is. Or then he’s projecting, because Cody feels all of those things himself. He closes his eyes for a moment and thinks. Thinks.
Duty, loyalty, betrayal. Orders. The weight of a blaster -
“Not really, sir”, Cody replies. “Have you?”
The question is probably more a surprise to Cody than to Vader.
Vader laughs - the same laugh from Dantooine. “I don’t know.”
More silence. Cody feels exhausted, but he knows that it is something sleep won’t fix. There isn’t anywhere else he’d rather be, right now, than right here, even if his thoughts stray towards golden memories that he feels guilty about treasuring.
He wonders - he wonders. But doesn’t ask.
“If you had a choice”, Vader says, and this time, his voice is neutral, calm, like it was when they first met, Cody and Vader. “Would you… would you make it?”
Cody understands and doesn’t. “I don’t think I’ve ever needed to, and... I don’t think I will ever need to.”
Vader nods a few times. “Okay.”
The air between them feels lighter. He can’t tell if it’s in a good way.
Cody watches the snow fall, and remembers.
The air feels electric as they approach the building. Cody’s steps are filled with determination, with certainty. He knows the plan - they’d gone through it twice last night and once in the morning.
For an hour, nothing happens, and then everything happens quickly, all at once.
Kenobi and Tano are both present as promised. Tano jumps on to fight Vader while Kenobi defends the rest coming out of the surrounded building. Cody spots Bail Organa, but his mind blanks as his eyes meet the brown eyes of someone who could be his own image.
Almost. The man has a small stubble, and his blonde hair, longer than before, is covered by a hood, but of course Cody knows who he is. Cody isn’t relieved. He isn’t disappointed. His life is grey and he’s a good soldier.
He brings his attention back to the fight. There are more and more rebels joining it, and although “Vader's fist” is by no means a small legion, the rebels have home advantage. There are snipers on nearby roofs, something they hadn’t expected.
Then that someone tackles him in the snow.
“Cody!”
It is Rex. Of course it’s Rex.
Cody struggles, tries to get out of Rex’s hold.
“Please, brother”, Rex says, his voice desperate. “It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. You can be like me, like us, you can be free of all of this.”
Cody attempts to kick him in the stomach, but Rex dodges and presses him in the snow, tightening his hold. Cody grits his teeth, tries to see if he can reach his gun.
Rex wrenches the helmet off Cody’s head.
“Look at me, Cody”, Rex says, over and over again. “Do you remember what we fought for? Do you remember? Who we fought with? You have to see -”
Cody manages to get one hand free and he twists out from under Rex. He slams the other man on his back, and they’re back to fighting again. They know each others' moves perfectly, their hits and kicks matching in a way that would look funny for a bystander.
Then someone knocks him backwards - other than Rex - and both the unknown assailant and Rex are gone. Cody is left gasping for air in the middle of the street. His ears are ringing.
It’s all in your head -
- brother, -
...have to see -
Do you remember?
He feels angry, and bitter, and guilty, and so fucking -
Cody shakes his head, snow falling from his hair, water dripping down his forehead and cheeks and neck. He picks his blaster from the ground, and looks around. Most of the legion has advanced forwards, chasing after the now retreating rebels.
Vader is still fighting Tano. Cody approaches them, blaster ready. They’re fighting so fast that Cody can’t shoot without being sure that it would only hit his target, but he’s ready, a lone fighter in the snow.
Vader's going to overpower Tano any moment now. He’s stronger and faster and getting more and more powerful with every strike. Tano’s face is twisted in a look of desperation, and she’s talking to Vader, terrified and quick. Vader doesn’t react to it, just keeps going.
He keeps pushing and pushing and finally, Tano’s lightsaber falls from her hand and rolls away as she collapses backwards. Cody sees an approaching threat, though, so he shouts out a warning and Vader turns, just in time to block Kenobi’s attack.
“Please, Anakin -” Kenobi is shouting.
Tano takes her lightsaber and rejoins the fight.
The balance tilts as the fight goes two against one, yet Vader is still winning. He looks so effortless, like he’s dancing while the others fight for their lives.
Then he gets a good hit on Kenobi. His lightsaber comes to contact with Kenobi’s leg, and the man falls to the ground. Vader continues his fight with Tano, he has to, but Cody has a chance to make this easier for them. To help Vader.
He takes aim. Kenobi notices him, and freezes.
“Cody”, he says. “No. Cody, please. You deserve freedom. Please. Break free.”
Cody’s eyes meet Kenobi’s. Cody remembers, and wonders if it’d be better if he didn’t. The number 66. Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty, and betrayal. The weight of the blaster in his hands then, and the weight now. Everything hurts, and he wonders whether that matters.
Should it? Vader had asked, on the edge of all that destruction.
Good soldiers follow orders, Crys had said once into the silence after the end of the war.
His hands are freezing in the cold, shaking in the wind, but Cody has impeccable aim and he knows he’ll hit. An order is an order. Cody got the order to execute Order 66 those years ago but failed to complete his task. He won’t fail again.
Cody pulls the trigger.
He isn’t sure where he hit Kenobi, but the man does collapse backwards. Cody is already steadying his shaking hands for another shot when the air fills with the deafening sound of an aircraft, and Cody looks up, momentarily distracted, and sees a fighter. The kind that drops bombs.
When he turns his gaze back down, he sees Vader sprinting towards him, his fight with Tano abandoned. Tano is helping Kenobi up, further away. Cody fires another two shots but Tano deflects them both. If Vader had stayed, he could've finished off Tano, and Cody would've hit Kenobi twice. They would've won. It occurs to Cody that despite him ignoring it, Vader's priorities are different than his. It occurs to him that Vader has probably lied to him about it at some point. That the two of them might not stand on the same line after all.
“Come on”, Vader yells, breathless as he reaches Cody. The helmet is gone, again, his eyes are wide and blue and his voice is barely audible over the sound of the fighter that is almost just above them, and Vader grabs Cody’s arm, dragging him to the side of the road, “we’re going to be fucked but let’s try -”
Then bomb drops and the snowy coldness turns into burning fire. Vader tackles Cody headfirst into snow, but even with his face pressed into it, Cody feels the heat and for a moment, everything becomes white, all feeling leaving his body.
Then it comes back, and it hurts more than anything has ever hurt. His head is pounding, but there is a terrible, piercing pain in his leg and his right shoulder is in so much pain Cody can barely breathe. The warmth of blood spreads all over his back.
“Shit, Cody”, he hears Vader say, a million worlds away behind a blur. “Hang on, please -”
He gets turned on his back or his side, he isn’t sure, but he knows that he screams because it hurts so much, why can’t he just pass out, why can’t he, why must he live through this , will he die with this as his last -
“Please, Cody”, Vader says. “I’ll - I will try to fix this, please just hang on for a moment, I’m going to try to - the pain, I’ll -”
He can't breathe, all of the air in his lungs is wasted in screaming. Most of what Vader says goes over Cody’s head, but he catches some words, and the part of Cody’s brain that still produces coherent thoughts wants to say something, about a choice, about anger and guilt and bitterness, but he can’t, not even now. Grey. A good soldier.
Orders.
“Hey, Cody”, Vader speaks, is still speaking, and it reminds Cody of a time when Vader was Commander Skywalker and Cody was the poor bastard on a mission with him, and then Skywalker got injured and he was bleeding out and the only way to save him was to cauterise the wound with a lightsaber and Skywalker had screamed so hard but joked right after and before and it had been a bunch of terrible jokes, and Cody had been so afraid -
“It’s gonna be okay”, Vader continues, hastily. “I’m good at fixing things, I’ll fix this, too, okay? No more pain. You’ll be fine, I promise you -”
His hands are pressed on either side of Cody’s head, his fingers wipe the wet hairs off his forehead and then Cody feels warm, not hot, not burning anymore, but warm, better, safe, and he takes it, he falls into it, and it’s the best he’s felt in a while.
Cody wakes up, and something is different.
Very, very different.
His thoughts are clear. He feels shocked, he feels terrified, he feels guilty, he remembers -
and now he sees it like it is, and it really was all in his head -
A whimper escapes his lips, and even though pain pierces his head as he sits up, the horrifying thoughts keep piling on each other. The room is white, too white, bright, it hurts his eyes, everything hurts, but nothing wins over the pressure on his chest, the panic and the shame .
His hands tremble, and he doesn’t know what to do. His shoulder hurts, and he doesn’t care, his leg’s bandaged and he doesn’t care , because he has - what has he done , what has…
“Sir”, a medical droid says, alarmed. “I advise you to stay calm. Due to limited supplies, the amount of analgesics in your system is comparatively low, which means your injuries are guaranteed to cause you -”
“Where”, Cody rasps out. “Where’s Sky- Vader, is he here, can he come -”
“I have alerted Lord Vader about you regaining consciousness”, it informs him.
Cody feels terrified and relieved both at once. He needs - oh, hells, what has he… his fear twists together with his sea of guilt. He hides his face in his hands despite the amount of agony it causes in his shoulder and the useless fussing from the droid.
He isn’t sure how long he sits on the bed like that, but eventually the door to his room swings open and Vader comes inside. Skywalker. Cody isn’t sure, he doesn’t know, all he knows is that everything went wrong and he knew but didn’t do anything, and he should have.
“Cody”, Vader says, breathless. his voice is almost as terrified as Cody feels. “Something - I tried to fix things, I promise, and I tried to and something was wrong and crooked so I righted it and then there was this dam and I thought - so I wanted to… it felt right but now something is different and…”
CT-5555 - Fives. Rex had told Cody about the entire mess with Fives, drunk as balls in the 79’s. Had Cody even considered that it could be true what Fives claimed, back then? Had he cared ? Because he does now. He’d known - all this time, he had known, Cody had remembered the chips but it hadn’t mattered to him. He hadn’t cared about the lack of a choice.
Cody shakes his head. Closes his eyes, tears burning.
“I… thought they betrayed us, but…” his voice hitches. “But I - I did so much wrong. And I didn’t see it. I do now, but it’s too late, too far, and I thought -”
And then he cries. Vader’s arms come around him, carefully, gently to not hurt him even worse, but Cody clings to his shirt with all the power in his arms and cries desperately. Cries for all of those he betrayed. All of those he should’ve helped. Those he killed without a second thought.
Cody thinks about Order 66, about pulling the trigger, about Kenobi, about Rex, about Skywalker, about everything that is now lost, everything that he wishes he could’ve saved, about Alderaan, about the weight of the blaster in his hands, the time that came after -
- and he remembers it all.