Chapter Text
[The video begins.]
The human holds the camera facing them. The room around them is dark, and their face is only faintly illuminated by the light from the screen of their D.D.D.
“Hey there, Devildom,” the human whispers. “I don’t know how much you can see, but I’m here in Beel and Belphie’s room, and --” they shift around, the camera blurring and shaking for a moment, Belphie’s sleeping face can be faintly seen behind them.
“Belphie’s asleep,” the human whispers. Then they grin a wicked little grin. “So I thought it would be funny if we --”
A bright light turns on, and the human yelps a little and the camera shakes again. When the camera refocuses, the human has their hand over their eyes.
“Beel!” they hiss.
“Why are you whispering?” Beel says from offscreen, at a normal volume. “He won’t wake up that easily. You could jump up and down on the bed right now, and he still wouldn’t wake up.”
“Oh,” the human says, laughing a little as they take their hand off their eyes and turn to look at Belphie. Sure enough, he’s still deeply asleep, lying on his stomach with his face turned to the side, mouth open and drooling a little, body half-covered in a deep purple sheet.
“He really just went to sleep in his clothes, huh,” the human says.
“Yes,” Beel sighs.
“Anyways,” the human says to the camera, that tiny wicked grin coming back, “I thought it would be funny if we stacked things on top of Belphie while he’s asleep to see how much it’ll take for him to wake up.”
“He won’t wake up,” Beel says. There’s a small scraping sound. “Here, you can use this table.”
The human shrugs and gets up from where they were seated against the side of Belphie’s bed. There’s some more camera shaking and shuffling around. When the video stabilizes, the camera seems to be set up on its tripod on a low table across from Belphie’s bed. The human backs away from the camera, giving a double thumbs up when it stays put, and steps back to join Beel in standing over Belphie’s bed.
“So what should we start with?” Beel asks.
“Let’s start small,” the human says. They step to the side and drag a backpack emblazoned with the RAD logo into frame, and dig around inside it until they find a pencil case.
They start laying pens in a careful, neat row along Belphie’s back while Beel watches skeptically.
After a few moments, Beel shakes his head and goes for the backpack. He pulls out three enormous texts, collectively bigger than the backpack seems able to contain, as though they’re no heavier than empty cardboard boxes. He gently lays them out on Belphie’s back, on top of the layer of pens.
“Uh, Beel,” the human says, staring.
“He won’t wake up,” Beel says again, shrugging.
And Belphie doesn’t. He just snores a little.
“Huh,” the human says.
“Yeah,” Beel says.
Without another word, they both split up and start roaming through the room and grabbing random things to stack on top of Belphie.
A small stack of manga from Belphie’s side of the room. An empty soup pot from Beel’s.
A bunch of extra pillows. More textbooks from Beel’s backpack. Three unopened Akuzon boxes from under Belphie’s bed.
A big plush demonfrog. A toolbox of art supplies. A bundle of thick blankets. An old-fashioned spyglass. A large astronomy telescope, complete with its own tripod stand.
And still Belphie doesn’t even stir.
“What the fuck,” the human says, gesturing helplessly at Belphie and the small mountain of junk on top of him and laughing a little.
“Hmm,” Beel says. He turns and walks out of frame. And then returns a moment later with two entire futons slung over his shoulder. He lays one, and then the other, on top of the Belphie-pile, and then steps back to eye it critically.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” the human says, making a face like they’re not sure if they should laugh or not.
“Hmm,” Beel says again. He looks from the pile, to the human, and back again.
The human looks from Beel to the pile and back again, at first with a puzzled expression, then with dawning understanding, then with evil glee.
“Beel, you’re a genius,” they declare, grinning. And then they climb up onto the bed and then carefully onto the top of the Belphie-pile, and sit down on the futons on top.
They carefully peek over the edge of the futon down at Belphie’s face which is half-obscured by one of the plush demonfrog’s legs, but Belphie still doesn’t stir at all. The little drool stain near his mouth has even grown.
The human grins at Beel. “Beel, get up here.”
“That will probably wake him up,” Beel says, but he’s already climbing up beside the human anyway.
After Beel sits down on the futon, both he and the human seem to hold their breath for a long moment. Belphie snuffles a bit in his sleep, and still doesn’t wake up.
“Huh,” Beel says.
The human just starts giggling, covering their face, Beel chuckling quietly along with them. “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done,” they say, chortling.
After they stop laughing, there’s a long moment of silence.
“Well,” the human says.
“Hmm.”
“Honestly, I thought this was going to be fucking hilarious when he woke up covered in junk, but…”
“I told you so.”
The human sighs. “You did tell me so.”
They glance at Belphie again, before carefully sliding off the junk pile to stand on the bed itself. They give a few experimental little hops, enough to jostle Belphie and even Beel where he still sits on top of the pile. No reaction.
“Rude,” the human says to Belphie, though good naturedly.
The human and Beel both get off of the bed and stand there looking at the small mountain of random junk piled on top of Belphie, Beel wringing his hands, the human putting their hands on their hips.
“Now we have to clean this all up,” Beel says resignedly.
“...Yep,” the human says.
Neither of them moves to start.
And then, with no warning whatsoever, Belphie bursts out of the pile, manifesting his true form and sending pillows and Akuzon boxes and pencil cases flying. The plush demonfrog soars across the room, smacks into the camera, and knocks it over, and the video shows a glimpse of the room’s ceiling before the frame is flooded by a cloud of pure darkness. There’s a horrific demonic roaring, and the sound of Beel and the human screaming and shouting, and then --
[The video ends.]
---
[DevilTube]
Video description:
lmao serves us right I guess
Comments:
slothstan:
Belphegor’s back??
balfeloth:
MAH FAVATAR BELPHIE’S BACK?????
→ reply by Belphie:
ur being so loud i can hear u from here. shhhh. i’m trying to sleep.
→ reply by balfeloth:
o shit o shit sorry ily <3
mememememo:
my cousin told me they heard Belphie was gone because Lucifer locked him in a dungeon. crazy rumor, right?
→ reply by Belphie:
yea. crazy. he actually locked me in the attic.
→ reply by balfeloth:
!!! how dare he!!! brb im off to kill lucifer
→ reply by Lucifer [Admin]:
@balfeloth You want to reconsider that course of action.
→ reply by balfeloth:
o shit os hit i was only jokin i swear!! ily lucifer <3333 please dont obilterate me
DDSimeon:
Glad to see Belphegor back, and back to his old antics!
→ reply by tangyrus:
[deleted]
→ reply by [user deleted]:
[deleted]
→ reply by heck:
[deleted]
→ reply by verdiginous [muted]:
[deleted]
→ reply by verdiginous [muted]:
the fuck do you know abt our Belphie
→ reply by verdiginous [muted]:
[deleted]
→ reply by You [Mod]:
@verdiginous [muted]: You're muted, again. One more incident and I’ll have to ban you.
→ reply by Belphie:
@DDSimeon oh hi. havent seen u since we fought on opposite sides of the war. buy me a coffee n i'll tell u about all the "antics" u missed while u were stuck up in the boring realm.
→ reply by DDSimeon:
Haha! Deal.
veneneth:
that horrible screaming… what the hell did Belphie do to them?
→ reply by Beelzeburger:
lol
→ reply by You [Mod]:
lol
→ reply by Belphie:
lmao
meteoridle:
Is the telescope OK???
→ reply by Belphie:
its fine. i made sure not to fling it anywhere. :)
→ reply by meteoridle:
Oh thank fuck. If you had trashed that XZ-9600 Platinum Hex just for a prank I would've had to unfollow you on principle.
→ reply by Belphie:
lmao
→ reply by Belphie:
valid tbh
prof.pertus:
Oh good, you're back. You'll be in my office tomorrow at four o'clock to beg for mercy and an extension on your thesis deadline. Don't be late. @Belphie
→ reply by Belphie:
urgh
→ reply by Belphie:
i was gone for so long i forgot how much u suck @prof.pertus
→ reply by prof.pertus:
Ah, what sparkling wit and refreshing veneration for your dear beloved advisor! Truly, this is why you are my favorite advisee.
→ reply by Belphie:
i'm ur only advisee.
→ reply by Belphie:
anyways, i won't be there, because i dont need an extension. check ur inbox. [sticker: demon_mic_drop_animated]
→ reply by prof.pertus:
You were gone for so long that I had to replace you.
→ reply by prof.pertus:
Anyways, I mistyped earlier. You're actually my least favorite advisee. See you tomorrow, and bring red pens. You'll be taking notes while I tell you about all the mistakes you need to fix before you'll be ready to publish.
→ reply by Belphie:
urgh
→ reply by Belphie:
missed u too, u old bat. <3
---
[Youtube]
Video not found.