Assmuncher37
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Harry Potter and the fact his life can't get more fucked up by Awkwardaxalotl
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Dec 2025
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Summary
Harry sees that playing the hero in his first year gets him dumped back at the dursleys with a pat on the back for literally murdering a man and decides fuck it I live like I want now. He goes to gringotts gets an inheritance test finds out he has a reluctant soulmate and that dumbledore is a prick. Shenanigans ensue. This is purely self indulgent and my first attempt at fanfic .
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Summary
I'm bad at writing a summary but here we go:
'Opposites'
Harrison was opposite to his sister- Hope- in every way: Where she could barely control her magic, he could summon things when he was only one; where she was trained by tutors to defeat the dark lord, he was in the past getting trained by the founders; And where she was giving her life for the light, he became a new sign of hope for the dark.
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Wrong G/BWL Au, Harrison time travels to the past to grow up with the founders only to go back to the future a month before his first day at hogwarts. He decided that the dark side shares more of his ideas than the light side does and eventually even finds love in the man his sister is trying to destroy.
(This sounds so sappy, I promise it's not.)
RATING & WARNINGS MIGHT CHANGE LATER! -
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Summary
The Potter family is not known for stopping the war with sacrifice. In this world, the war ended in a treaty with concessions on both sides, and the Potters raised their children in a time of unprecedented peace. Their eldest child is not known for facing down a dark lord, in fact, not much is known about him at all.
Or: Harry is born unable to speak anything other than parseltongue.
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Severus Snape was resting his cheek on the table at the faculty meeting. The hateful glare he sent the headmaster's way was only emphasized by the dark shadows under his eyes. "Albus," he said. "I don't care what the board is blackmailing you with. This is hell."
Dumbledore surveyed the roomful of teachers and found not a single person who disagreed.
"I'm sorry, everyone," was his solemn reply, "but the babies are a mandatory project."
(You know that old trope in American teen dramas where they give them the fake baby to raise for home-ec? Yeah.)
Series
- Part 3 of October, 2022
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Pettiness Is the True Evil by Ellionne for RudeHellion
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
14 Feb 2022
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Summary
Prompt: Tom Riddle channels all his latent anger into pettiness instead of world domination. Dumbledore wishes he'd become a dark lord instead.
Series
- Part 8 of Mad as a Hatter (Crack Collection)