Chapter Text
At first, Kotallo accepted his heartbreak. The Nora belonged to one another. And yet a small part of his head told him otherwise. Aloy was so gentle and sweet and would never do such a thing to Zo, as the woman was so deeply in love with Varl. And Varl seemed to have honor, but it would not be the first time Kotallo would have witnessed a man throw his honor aside for the sake of a woman
And perhaps... Aloy was so sweet she had been unable to turn down Varl once a confession of love came, and thus agreed to the dalliance to save the man from heartbreak.
But still, something seemed off. It wasn't like the two of them to have a secret romance. To sneak around behind people's backs and be cruel this way. But they did have a secret. And it had something to do with the braids.
So that's what Kotallo threw himself into. He ripped apart cloth into thin stripes to be able to practice braiding. He did it alone in his bunk until the joints in his fingers hurt. He tried to learn every pattern he'd ever seen. Figuring out how to create different shapes and textures by simply trying things out. He practiced until he knew how to do every braid on Aloy's head perfectly. Then he learned additional designs and even made up some of his own. He learned how to slip beads into hair and how to incorporate thread and colorful fabrics. He learned alternative ways to secure the braids in place and taught himself how to make hair beads. He painted them blue and carved designs into the beads until he made the one that he deemed absolutely perfect.
When he'd started, all he'd known was how to do his own hair, a style his mother had taught him and he'd worn ever since, but now he was somewhat of a self-taught master. And he took great pleasure in braiding, imagining it being Aloy's hair as he did so.
He thought perhaps he would learn something new from braiding. Discover the secrets of the Nora, but at the end of the day he felt none the wiser.
He watched Aloy and Varl whenever they were together. They would talk, and laugh on occasion, give each other advice, and more rarely console each other when things went wrong. It was clear their bond was special. But in what way? Kotallo still could not tell. Their secret meeting in the middle of the night turned out to be a one-time thing even when an entire month had passed. Aloy wasn't at the base most of the nights, and the relationship between Zo and Varl seemed to flourish into bloom. The two seemed so happy together every single day that the doubt Kotallo had had about them seemed to slowly fade away.
And Aloy... Oh, Aloy. She would whisk in and out of the base just like she used to. And on occasion, Kotallo would smell that scent again when Aloy was in her room. He would see her laugh and smile more and more, appearing happier by the day as life continued on. She never stayed at the base for long unless she was there to sleep, but whenever she would arrive she would seek out Kotallo. They would talk about the Tenakth and she would ask about their customs. On occasion, she needed help learning her way through the land. And he would guide her. She would talk to him about the others and how his life was at the base, seemingly wanting to make sure he was happy. She was interested in his life before all of this and asked a lot about his family.
And with time Kotallo would notice her looking at him, and they would both get caught seeking out the eyes of the other. It was a strange feeling he would get in his belly when he saw her. When she was close he would stumble in his words at times and try to appear stoic, but the second she would turn around that would all melt away and he would look at her fondly. Giving her the gazes he wished he could give her while she was looking at him.
And then one night, her door swooshed open. And Kotallo awoke. He wondered if Varl would join her, but when no other door opened he gathered his courage to get up himself.
He found her in the main room, sitting where Erend usually sat, and untangling her hair with her fingers while she went over data on her focus. She was only opening her second braid when she noticed him, and she swiped off her focus, letting her hands drop from the hair that was now revealed to be curly from the undone braids.
For a moment neither spoke and then: "Couldn't sleep?" She asked.
Kotallo shook his head.
"Me neither. Sleep has eluded me a few nights now." She gestured to the seat beside her, allowing him to take his place by her side. And how right it felt for Kotallo to sit there and listen to her whisper to him so gently. "I thought perhaps coming here to sleep would help, but alas it was a plan shown to be unsuccessful."
Kotallo moved a candle on the table closer so they could have enough light to see each other.
The light from the candle bounced around and glimmered on her skin like she was a part of the flame. They were shrouded in shadow, but this one warm source of light gave them all they needed.
"Do you know what keeps you awake?" Kotallo asked, fighting the urge to push one of the strands of hair that landed on her face away, to not shield his view.
Aloy was silent a moment and then sighed, lowering her shoulders and appearing sad: "The day of Rost's death just passed. And I seem to still be figuring out how to live when there is no home in him to return to."
Kotallo understood. She'd spent her whole life with that man being her only joy in it. She'd lived with him, been raised by him and he was the only person to speak to her for years. He'd taught her to talk, walk, run and fight. He'd been her solace, her safety. And now the man had been gone for some time, and yet she didn't know how to continue on without feeling like there was a hole in her chest. "He meant a lot to you. It's normal for you to miss him dearly."
"He used to braid my hair when I couldn't sleep. He would undo them and rebraid them however many times he needed to until I was asleep. We'd sit by the fire and everything was at peace. So now I braid my hair over and over at night, wishing that I would feel like I did then... But nothing seems to come even close." Aloy said, leaning her face onto her hand, and staring at the little candle's flame as it danced delicately, burning down the candle to live.
Kotallo straightened his back: "I could braid your hair." He offered after a moment.
"Huh?" Aloy let out a surprised sound, questioning his offer without saying a word. "You want to braid my hair?"
Kotallo flashed red in his embarrassment over being so blunt and hoped that the candle's light would cover it: "I am rather skilled when it comes to braids. I promise I will make them look just the same as when you make them."
Aloy blushed, no luck in her heated cheeks going unnoticed. She looked down at her hands and mumbled something under her breath. She was surprised by the offer and wondered if Kotallo knew the significance of his proposition. How deep the meaning went.
"You don't have to accept." Kotallo quickly said, when he saw her wariness. "I am simply offering to help you sleep since I thought-"
Aloy cut him off: "It's a sweet offer, but braids to Nora's... Well, they're important. And I worry you are rushing to help me. And I have only ever had two people braid my hair..." Aloy's voice trailed off, as she looked at Kotallo and her cheeks flushed red once more. He was handsome, in the candlelight.
"Like I said you don't have to accept." He said with his deep voice, wishing to sound sure of himself, and knowing he was failing: "But is this not what partners do for each other?"
"Partners..." Aloy's voice came out like a whisper, with a little breath and a quiet tone.
Kotallo nodded.
Aloy stared at him, her mouth gently open as she breathed. Her eyes were full of wonder. Partners? She nodded: "Yes it is."
"Well then... Shall I get the supplies?" Kotallo got up when Aloy nodded at his offer and he walked to his bunk, his heart thundering in his chest. She'd said yes. Clearly, this was a moment of significance. She was trusting him.
When he came back she was where she had been, one hand in her hair, delicately moving her fingers up and down a braid, the other hand on her lips, gently applying pressure there. Her head turned in his direction when he got close. He placed a small pouch of the wooden beads he'd made on the table and had brought a comb. "How would you like to sit?" He asked.
She still appeared a bit stunned and then smiled, a small, careful smile: "It's customary for both to be on the floor on our knees."
He nodded, and after she sat on the floor, he sat down behind her. His breath wafted into her hair and moved the little curls there gently. She didn't want to admit it, but his breath on the back of her neck sent shivers down her spine. She'd thought about Kotallo braiding her hair before. Just like she'd wondered if she should allow Erend and Zo to do so also... But when she thought about Kotallo, and how much she wanted to offer him the right to braid her hair there was always something there that went a little differently than with the rest of the crew. She worried Erend would muck her hair as he was never gentle and brasher than smooth in his movement. She thought Zo would do a good job after some teaching from Varl and wondered why he hadn't asked Zo to braid his hair yet.
Aloy and Varl had already braided the warrior's bond braid into each other's hair on the night of a Nora celebration. Mother's Midnight the Nora called it. They believed that on Mother's Midnight All-Mother was closest to them, and that they should braid their hair and pray through the entire night to honor her and thank her for all her blessings. Varl and Aloy hadn't really agreed to spend the night with each other's company, simply found themselves doing so without a thought since they were the only Noras on this side of the earth. While they now knew All-Mother doesn't exist, it still felt wrong to skip this tradition. It was the Nora's most sacred one, Rost's favorite, and a night the Nora always spent in company, creating large circles all around the Sacred Lands, simply sitting down in nature to braid each other's hair.
But now Kotallo sat behind her, about to touch her hair for the first time and Aloy held her breath.
Kotallo sat there, unsure of where to start, scared to even touch her. He made sure to stay back far enough that his knees wouldn't touch her. He wanted to give her space. She was giving him so much, and he wanted everything to be perfect so that she would let him do this again.
Slowly, he reached over and touched her hair, he smoothed it down her back, and found how easily his finger slipped through the strands and touched her skin. This was something that never happened with the clothing strips he'd practiced with and the texture of her hair was so different and yet somehow it felt so right.
He ran his hand down her hair a few more times and then asked if there was a specific braid he should start from.
"No." She whispered back and then reached back, to touch two different braids: "Don't open these ones." She instructed and then ran her hand back down to her front, tugging one of the braids forward so she could hold it in her hand and keep it out of the way. The two braids she'd touched were the one that had appeared anew the night she met up in secret with Varl and one that she had never opened. The bead at the end of it was different from the rest, the blue color of it almost fully faded, leaving the carvings on it as the only decoration you could still see.
He didn't ask why even though his fingers itched to undo the braid he was certain Varl had made. Perhaps his fingers retreating from her hair gave her the clue to how much he burned to know why those two braids he wasn't allowed to touch. And so, Aloy told him: "The braid at the back was made by Varl. It's the warrior's bond, which means we will always fight the same battles. And the other was made by Rost... It's the father's braid." Her fingers twirled the bead on the braid she said was made by Rost, no doubt the bead was also made by his hand. "The meaning of Varl's braid would disappear were you to undo and redo it. And I haven't had the heart to open Rost's braid. He was buried with my daughter's braid in his hair, and one day I will be buried with his braid in mine. Wherever and whenever I return to land, we shall still be connected by our braids, no matter how far apart in soil."
Her words were loving and sweet. The braids were like the seed pouches to the Utaru then. The ones made by dear ones lost to time were kept forever until they passed on too. And the braids would guide them together in the afterlife. It was a sweet belief, one that Kotallo swore to respect and honor.
After ages, burning with questions about the braids Kotallo was suddenly getting so much information. His heart felt warm and full, his mind only thinking of Aloy as her presence took over all of his senses. He'd never been more appreciative of anyone or anything as he was right now in this moment, returning his hand to Aloy's hair and gently starting to open one of the regular braids.
Her hair was soft, and the more he would undo a braid the more curls he found. The braids bent the hair into wavy patterns, all different from one another, affected by the way the braid was made. He made sure to not tug her hair, to brush it between every single braid, and reveled in the feeling of its softness and how he was allowed every question he'd ever thought. They didn't really have conversations. He would only speak when he would take hold of a new braid, being finished with the last one, and ask what the braid signified. She would always reach over, feel the braid and then tell him.
"And this one?" He asked when he grasped a braid so well hidden in her hair he'd never even known it was there. Turns out she has a lot more braids than he ever knew, some so small they almost seem like regular hair.
"It's the seeker's braid." She replied, lowering her hands to her lap again. Slowly, as he'd worked through her braids she'd relaxed, and she kept her eyes closed now. Her frame appeared so small when she felt lulled by the hand in her hair, taking care of her, not hurting her. Just being there. Doing the smallest deed for her that meant so much.
"What's a seeker?" He asked, the first additional question to just the meaning of a braid.
"It's a special role among the Nora. We aren't allowed to enter ancient ruins or leave the Sacred Lands, but the seekers are granted these freedoms, when the tribe is in great need." She explained. "Varl is a seeker as well. I'm sure he had the same braid hidden somewhere."
Kotallo studied the braid for a moment, undid it, and then rebraided it slowly. Once he took hold of a new braid he didn't even have to ask anymore. She reached over to feel the braid and told him: "That braid tells my age."
And like that, time moved on slowly. With the two of them sitting in the candlelight. Kotallo's strong hand went through her hair, smoothing her hair and braiding it with ease and careful movements to make sure each braid was perfect. The candle was half-melted on the table, pooling where it stood as it burned bright.
More and more braids were made and their stories were told as he went along: That braid signifies my unmarried status... this braid says I have no children... tells other Nora I used to be an outcast... for winning the proving... being the Banuk chieftain I created a braid for it myself when I took the title for a while... for the loss of a loved one... for a grand battle... signifies my talent to tame machines... warning to those who try to steal from me... marks someone who can be approached to ask for help... says that I was born during wintertime... the mark of a thrush... for my first kill... shows my love for tallnecks... I made that one to honor Elizabeth Sobeck and I would like to braid it to Beta's hair one day... the mark of an only child... wards of evil spirits... a bond to the Sacred Lands..."
Kotallo was learning so much, at times he was surprised she even had specific braids. He didn't think she believed in spirits and yet wore a braid to fend them off. And there were so many braids for general information that could just be exchanged by words, like the season of birth and age. It was like the Nora willingly gave each other all this information at the first meeting to... What? Feel more connected? He couldn't fully understand and yet some of the braids were just like his tattoos and paint. Speaking of great deeds, even though he felt like Aloy had left so many incredible defeats out of it being humble as always. He felt like he should have similar braids now. So that they could bear the stories of the deeds he'd lost with his arm.
When he was reaching the final few braids he slowed his braiding speed down significantly. He wanted to stretch the moment they'd created. This bubble that felt like it was filled with electricity with each touch. Each delicate brush to her skin felt like fire to him. The closeness of them felt so right, as if they were made to never be apart. They'd both leaned towards each other, his knees touching her back, her hand gently placed on one of said knees, holding herself up steady with it, adding pressure to his skin. Sometimes he would lean so close his breath would be so strong it heated up the part of her skin it touched. Her scent was everywhere now as if he was inside a cloud of it.
And the same was for her. He smelled of musk and cold mountain air of burning wood, and a lily on the water. His scent was the perfect mixture of something so fresh it burns your throat as you breathe it in and something so earthy you feel like you are being transported to the forest when you're near him. And now every breath made that scent stronger. Every time he gripped her hair he wished he would hold it a little longer, a little tighter. So that she would truly feel like they are one. His touches were careful with her, like he worried she would break from his touch. Or that she would push him away, when she was actually slowly leaning closer, seeking out more body heat and a comfortable chest to lean into.
The fact that she was so sunken into him didn't cross her mind. All she thought about was him, but it didn't somehow seem out of the ordinary for her. It was meant to be like this.
Once his fingers finished the last braid, she was leaning back so much it was almost like she was half lying in his lap, with her eyes closed. He didn't mind. He loved it.
He reached over to the pouch he'd brought with him one more time. He'd changed all her beads to ones of his own making. They were practically all the same, but his beads had a fresh coat of paint. He'd made sure to keep her regular beads to the side so he wouldn't lose any of them, since he would give them back to her of course, in case his beads weren't satisfactory. But now his fingers went through the pouch of beads searching for a specific one. He pulled it out and stared for a moment. It was the only bead he'd painted yellow. He'd made beautiful carvings into it... The same carvings he made to the beads in his own armor. They signified him, and he wished she would carry him with her always, through that small bead.
"This is the final braid..." He said. She'd given him the meaning earlier. To newly found companions. It seemed fitting his bead would be on this braid. "May I secure it with his?"
Aloy opened her eyes slightly, but then they widened and she sat up straighter. She looked at the bead as he held it in between his fingers. "If... If you do not like it I will not use it."
She stared at the bead more, seemingly not even hearing him. Then slowly her eyes moved to his and she whispered: "No,,,"
His shoulders slumped. Everything had been perfect. But then he had ruined the moment. Cracked the beautiful, fragile atmosphere that had rested between them and then spread into the whole room as if they'd created their own universe inside it. He cursed in his head. He'd pushed it too far. And now he'd made her uncomfortable.
"-not on this braid." Her voice was naught but a whisper. So small he thought he imagined it. Her eyes were still locked into his and he swore that if only she kept looking at him like this he would never leave her side. "If you wish to braid your bead into my hair, you must make your own braid for it. Here..." She guided his hands to free hair at the side of her temple. It was a spot that would display the braid to everyone. A visible place. Unlike most of her braids. "And I must braid my bead into your hair as well. If you are sure about it." Her voice wavered off like it was drifting away.
He stares knowing the moment is significant: "I would be honored to wear your bead in my hair."
She stays silent, not a trace of emotion on her face. Then she whispers a silent: "Wait here." And walks away. When she returns she has a bead with her. It's thicker than the ones in her hair, carved with small designs, the most notable one being the familiar triangular patterns carved to the edge that reminded him of his own paint. There are designs unlike he'd seen before, ones he is certain carry great significance to her, but he knows now is not the time to ask.
She sits down on her knees facing him this time. Something in the air tightens. Her hands shake.
She reaches over, pulls out a part of his hair from his usual hairdo, and detangles it. Then she begins to braid. She seems to forget to breathe for a moment. He knows because while she is focused on the braiding, he watches her. A sudden blow of cool air hits his forehead when she releases the breath she was holding. He sees how her body is stiff, how she worries and carries around all the pain and grief with her. He can feel her hands shiver, and how her expressions shift as she braids. He can't fully tell how she feels. Only that this moment right here... He will think of it forever.
Once she gets closer to finishing the braid she slows down, and lowers her gaze into his eyes. He gives her a soothing smile, reaching over to steady her, when she falters on her knees.
She smiles back and then gently works the bead onto the end of the braid. And then, she whispers: "May this braid stay and our bond never waver. May our destinies align on the same path, never splitting apart until we return to the earth and reunite on the other side." Before she releases the braid she runs her fingers down it gently and smiles once more when she looks him in the eyes.
He had never heard her voice like that. Nervous yet hopeful. So silent that he felt like it was meant for nothing but his soul to hear.
And suddenly it was his turn. And he began braiding. It was quiet. And peaceful. But this time, their eyes were locked together.
The swooshing of a door opening didn't get them out of their trance. A yawn from a Varl waking up and leaving his room didn't even reach their ears. He might as well have been on the other side of the planet. He rubbed his eyes and seized when he saw them. Surprised his eyes took on the sight. Kotallo braiding expertly with one hand, staring at her like she was his entire world. Like she was the sun and he was the earth circling her. Like there truly was no other being on the planet than Aloy. And her, sitting there, allowing him to touch her hair so freely and returning his adoring look with one of her own.
Varl was silent. He looked at the site in front of him, and stood as quietly as he could, watching on as Kotallo reached over to the table, picked up a bead, and worked it onto the braid repeating words Varl had heard in many ceremonies in the Nora land before: "May this braid stay and our bond never waver. May our destinies align on the same path, never splitting apart until we return to the earth and reunite on the other side."
And with that Varl witnessed the marriage ceremony of Kotallo and Aloy, which ended with a careful, sweet kiss between them, that seemed to come as a surprise to both. Varl, walked backwards into his room again, still stunned by what he witnessed. He returned to his bed and wrapped his arms around Zo not to sleep a wink again that night.