Archive of Our Own

This collection’s sole purpose is entertainment for absurdity’s sake. Nothing should be taken seriously. We’re here to have FUN and share our silly little stories with each other 🫶🏼

Who can submit?
-anyone who is infected with rabies.

Is there a word count limit or minimum?
-You stop when the parasites tell you to stop. We understand this and any fic length is allowed.

Are other medias allowed? (Art or idk art)
-Of course, anything the rabies force you to create is welcome and highly encouraged.

Do you have to be infested with rabies to post to the collection?
-Unfortunately for the dwindling rat numbers, we do have to enforce this. Maintaining a healthy growth in rodent population is essential to the cause.

What ships are allowed?
-Any and all HARRY POTTER ships are required.

If you’re vaccinated against rabies, can you still post?
-Use your discretion. Just understand the primary purpose of this collection is to maximize rabies contagion levels and if you’re vaccinated, it MAY affect the sample size.

Does this fic need to be Harry Potter fandom?
-Yes. The wizarding world is notorious for rabies outbreaks, so we need to maintain the status quo.

Any other questions can be directed to the evil twin Stevie_Sunshine, or the sweetheart angel SweetheartAurora 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇‍♀️

While we want everyone to be free in their creativity so that you can all create deranged things for us to read, we do have just a few simple rules/guidelines.

1. All works must be related to the Harry Potter fandom, but crossovers are welcome!
2. Absolutely no pedophilia, grooming, or mention of sexual activity/attraction when one party was underage is allowed within the collection.
3. Please utilize the archive warning and tagging systems properly for any dead dove/triggering content.
4. We reserve the right to remove any works from the collection at any time.

-If you'd like a prompt to get you started or if anything here scratched your brain and feeds the parasites, you may use any of these:

1. Draco and Theo dress as The Cat and the Hat + The Lorax for Dr. Seuss Day at the new primary school Hermione founded for muggleborn children. She is distracted all day because it has awakened something so incredibly depraved within her.

2. Draco is frustrated he can't impress Hermione with his Quidditch skills/ uniform because she hates Quidditch. She's teased about not liking sports, but she'd adamant that she "doesn't hate sports, just Quidditch, and actually she LOVES baseball". So Draco tries to impress her by looking it up and sees an image of a mascot holding a bat and gets his own getup. She TAKES the bat like a good girl.

3. Draco dresses as Guy Fieri for Halloween and takes Hermione to Flavour Town.

4. HP character/ Pink Panther

5. Magical mishap causes Hermione to be exceptionally stretchy, Elastigirl-style.

6. Psycho, stalker, simp HERMIONE for Draco. She needs jail she’s so obsessed and crazed for him.

7. Goblins & Gremlins: Griphook and Mogwai/Gizmo (from the 1984 horror/comedy blockbuster Gremlins)

-OR, you may create any unhinged nonsense you can think of. All is welcome.