1 - 20 of 49 Works in Absolutely Need A Lobotomy
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When Charlie Weasley turned nineteen and the truth of his bloodline revealed itself, he left everything behind, exiling himself to the wilds of Romania to protect the ones he loves.
Years later, after Molly Weasley’s special brand of guilt-tripping finally wears him down, Charlie returns to the Burrow. He only intended to support his youngest brother on the day of his wedding, but then, there she is.
Standing at the end of the aisle, wrapped in a flowing gown that glitters like the finest diamond. A treasure, just for him. His mate.
Instinct overpowers reason, and before the change can be stopped, the dragon breaks free to claim what belongs to him.
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The Peculiar Emancipation of Betelgeuse Black by Spookyandcooky
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Nov 2025
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“Good evening, Malfoy. You’re looking well…which is convenient, really, because I need to have sex with you.”
After five years of self-imposed isolation, Draco Malfoy never expected to find Hermione Granger on his doorstep. Similarly, he never expected her Afterlife-research to involve him...OR to kill him. But when the unlikely pair wake up as ghosts, Hermione is convinced that Draco's ancestor—the infamous Betelgeuse Black—is the only one who can help them.
...But not until he terrorises the new occupants of Malfoy Manor, of course.The "Beetlejuice" submission for the A.N.A.Lween Fest.
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Mystery Work
Part of ANAL_Ween, Privated Work (BurningChandeliers)
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
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The Devil entices.
The Devil wants you to live deliciously.
The Devil knows nothing & learns plenty about how indulgences work in 2025 when he comes to add a new name to his book.
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Theo is a raccoon who likes to make friends.
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Pansy Parkinson takes evil to a whole new level when Voldemort accidentally creates ANOTHER Horcrux. Luna and Theo stay out of her way when her revenge aligns with saving the Wizarding World.
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Sassy Pansy
Major Character Death
Canon Coward Draco
Surprise Guest: The Sword of Gryffindor
and Luna & Theo being super cute! -
Mystery Work
Part of ANAL_Ween, Drafts and Fic Ideas
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
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Call Me Davy by Witchy_Writer3 for SomnophiliaSweetheart
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Oct 2025
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Communication is the key to every good relationship.
Theo didn’t tell Hermione that he was dressing up as Davy Jones for the Weasley Twins’ Annual Halloween Bash. Hermione didn’t tell Theo that she has a tentacle kink and now neither of them are going to the party.
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Hewwo, Pwincess by CassieMK for SomnophiliaSweetheart
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Oct 2025
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Harry surprises his girlfriend for her birthday.
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Welcome to Halloweentown by Slytheremm for emmeonpaper
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
29 Oct 2025
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My Dearest Grandson (Dylan if you’re reading this, no you’re not),
Theodore, it pains me dearly to ask you of this, but I am in dire need of potion ingredients, and these knees just aren’t what they used to be. I’ve spent too many years kneeling in phallic worship, and I’m afraid it’s all rather caught up to me. Would you please be a dear and gather the ingredients for me?
Hair of a werewolf
Fangs of a Vampire
Sweat of a GhostThey shouldn’t be too inconvenient to find in town; your cousin Marnie was able to find them at a much younger age and with no tutelage in the wixen arts. Oh! And let that pretty girlfriend of yours know she is more than welcome to join us for dinner – I’m positively dying to meet her.
Love,
Grandma Aggie -
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Come hither, little himbo, for a frolic in the woods. There are dangerous and delicious delights to be had.
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Hermione lures an eager and far too trusting Draco into the Forbidden Forest for a sex ritual and sacrifice. Yes, sacrifice. Do not take this seriously, Draco sure isn’t.
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Ron Weasley worked really hard to build a resort for his friends to escape the grind of Wizarding life. He's invited them all for the first test run. It promises to be a relaxing weekend, not at all full of chainsaws and hockey masks.
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You've Got Dead On You by TheGarnetGirl
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Shaun of the Dead (2004)
27 Oct 2025
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After ̶I̶n̶f̶e̶r̶i̶ Zombies ravage half of London, Aurors Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are assigned the cleanup and containment of any potential fallout. They elbow out (read: 𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 indiscriminately) the Muggle army, chaos ensues, Theo considers adopting a new pet and all the while Muggle survivor Shaun is hauled into a ministry interrogation room to explain how the hell everything went tits up.
Series
- Part 1 of The Drarry Cinematic Universe
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Inappropriate Use of the Hogwarts's Headmaster by VintageCherry
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Oct 2025
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The creature had been just a myth, something ever headmaster passed down from generation to generation, never seen until tonight. The night of Hallow's Eve has brought in not only floating decorations but also a mysterious floating pumpkin where Albus's beloved Express should have been waiting for him. Now he is faced with a creature of the night, one he thought wasn't real, chasing him through the grounds of Hogwarts as he leads it into the Forbidden Forest. But what happens in the forest, stays in the forest, or so Albus thought.
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"Granger," a dark reimagining inspired by Stephen King’s Carrie (1974), centers on Hermione Granger-a gifted but isolated witch navigating a world that never truly accepted her. Raised in the shadow of war and prejudice, she endures scorn from her peers and mistrust from her elders. When betrayal ignites something long suppressed within her, Hermione discovers a power far beyond books and reason. What begins as survival becomes reckoning.
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There is a beauty, an elegance in violence, in the arc of a sharpened blade, the precision of a lethal strike. No wands. No magic. The Killing curse is too cold, too impersonal. With the blade she is close enough to feel the life force drain from the body, close enough to hear the slicing of skin, to taste the blood as it splatters…
Click - open. Click- shut. Click- open…
She watches as the man wets himself, scrambling across the floor of the cell, cowering in the corner like the pathetic sniveling, scumbag that he is and for the first time in years, her smile is genuine. She casually flips the blade in her hand.
“Hello Tiberius. Did you miss me?”
_________This story is an AU. A "What If" for my multi-chapter fic The Secret Keeper.
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Astoria might be a little nieve when it comes to things that muggles do but her curiosity has been getting the best of her.
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For as long as he could remember, green had been his favorite color.
From the fields of wild flowers where he grew up, to the specific shade of his best friend’s eyes, to the house tie wrapped tightly around his neck. Green was his favorite color.
Series
- Part 1 of Greenie Weenies
- Part 1 of Bussy Couture
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Fossilized Foreskin by Slytheremm for VintageCherry, LSBinding
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Jul 2025
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Percy was many things, a brother and a son, a friend. A politician, an overachiever, a swot of epic proportions, and a people pleaser. And apparently, he was a fool.
Otherwise, how else would he have ended up in this predicament?
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OR,
Bunny sent me a TikTok, and it SPIRALED from there lmao.
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Mouse King Part Three by VintageCherry for SomnophiliaSweetheart
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Jun 2025
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Theo had everything a rich boy could dream of having: sunbathing in Italy, mud baths on South Korea, but he wanted, yearned for, his cousin.
Theo tutted his tongue. “I will never be done with you Hermione. No matter how many death glares you give me or how much you distance yourself from me.” He leaned closer to her, his lips a breaths width away from her ear. “You belong to me, or did you forget?”
His plans to get rid of the Nutcrackers had been successful thus far, now all he had to do is take care of the Mouse King. And that involved a rope, chair, and a pair of Hermione’s knickers.
