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I Don’t Know How I Got Here (Seriously, Nobody Understands) by Athi816
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
13 Mar 2024
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Summary
Alastor dies in battle and gets redeemed.
This is a huge mistake, and he would very much like to go back, please.
Series
- Part 1 of Alastor’s Guide to Redemption
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Summary
“So, Rosie.” Alastor straightened himself in his seat, taking his teacup and indulging in a sip. “Now that you’ve heard the tale, I come to you for advice on what to do with our little serpentine king. Please, enlighten me: why is Lucifer Morningstar acting so strangely around me?”
Rosie took a deep breath and set her cup on its saucer. “How’s the tea, darling?” she asked, hands folded on her lap.
Alastor blinked once, then twice. “Why, it’s lovely, as per usual.”
Rosie smiled sweetly. “Good. Not too bitter?”
“Not at all.”
“And how’re the fingers, dear? They taste alright?”
“They’re simply delightful.”
“Is your chair nice and comfortable?”
“The comfiest.”
“You’re all relaxed?”
“I’ve never felt so at home.”
“Lucifer is in love with you.”
Alastor spat out the tea he’d been drinking, which was quickly followed by a round of coughing so harsh you would think he was actively dying.
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Alastor has a chat with Rosie regarding Lucifer’s odd behavior.
Rosie finds it all quite amusing.
Alastor does not.
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Summary
For a long time Vaggie had hoped that her Soulmate was immortal. A strange wish for an angel to have who would only meet any human Soulmate once they died and went to heaven.
Since she could remember she saw a red string leaving her chest and then showing the way to her Soulmate: Straight down.
As a child a Vaggie had believed that meant her human Soulmate lived on earth and would someday join her. As she grew older she saw more and more of the other angels mentioning seeing their Soulbond for the first time and then in barely any time introducing her to their human Soulmate that made it to heaven. At some point she pointed out how young the humans were (barely a few decades) and was told that that was actually pretty old for humans. Doubt started making itself space in her stomach until she finally dared to ask one of the human souls around her how old humans could get. Her stomach sank even further when she heard the answer: A hundred years at most.
Vaggie had had her Soulbond for over a century now. If her human had not appeared in heaven yet and were not actually immortal that could only mean they were…
Further down.
Series
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Summary
Hell had a tendency to make everything a bit… twisted. Soulmates were no different. On earth every baby was born with a Countdown written on their dominant arm showing how long the child was still away from meeting their soulmate.
In hell sinners did not have Countdowns until they DID and then it was a heads-up for the real mess to follow. Soulmates in hell had two different roles: the Prey was the weaker of the Soulmates and would get a name and a Countdown usually a few hours before their mate. Once the Countdown reached zero the Hunter got their mates name written on their arm and the Hunt began.
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"You know not every Claiming is the same.”
Alastor laughed hysterically. “Valentino and Velvette are Vox’ Soulmates and they claimed him directly in front of V-Tower with him screaming at them to stop!”
“Well those are two rather disgusting individuals!”
“Husker took Angel Dust in the middle of the hotel on top of bar in the lobby with Angel pleading with him to stop!”
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There is NO non-con in this story everything described is consensual, Alastor just doesn't quite understand what's happening!
Series
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Summary
“Have you heard about the big uproar that happened seven years ago?”
“What?”
“I mean the fight between Zestiel and the radio demon.”
“I, wha, no!” Angel shook his head. “I don’t care about overlord politics!”
“Zestiel had found his soulmate!” Husker explained. “But her soul was owned by the radio demon. Enraged Zestiel demanded her soul from the other overord but of course Alastor didn’t want to give his trump card against such a powerful demon away. Do you know how the conflict ended?”
“No,” Angel whispered.
“All overlords, every single one, turned against Alastor demanding from him to give her soul to Zestiel. There was not a single one on his side because if one overlord could use the soulmate of another overlord against him than this could happen to anyone. No overlord could ever know themselves and their loved ones save again.”
“Why,” Angel swallowed already suspecting the answer to his question. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I am an overlord and once you tell me who you sold your soul too I will come with every overlord at my back and take what is mine!”
"No!"
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How would a story about Soulmates look in a world where you can sell your soul?
Series
- Part 4 of Soulmate stories
- Part 1 of I would give you my soul (if I hadn't already sold it)
