Chapter Text
Jason didn't clear his throat or do anything to stop the tears. He let his eyes stay open and burn, due to both the welling tears and the light of the candle.
"Happy birthday, Mom." He whispered hoarsely.
The lights in his bedroom were out, but he could still see the light in the hallway from under his door.
Downstairs, he could hear muffled voices. His family was still awake. Tim was probably telling Dick all about how he'd taken Bernard to the water park for their anniversary.
"I wish I could remember if we met. Y'know. When I was… over there. Dead." He cleared his throat then, needing to breathe, and let out a soft chuckle. "I wish I could remember *anything* from then. At least I'd know if I was just talking to thin air."
The dim, flickering light was just barely what he needed to see his cards. He had the full deck of yellowed, stained cards fanned out on the bed in front of him.
"I kept them. Bruce made sure they were in my pocket when I was buried, and Talia didn't confiscate them. God," he looked up at the ceiling, tears making new tracks down his face. "I wish you were here. The real you, not who you were at the end."
He picked up the seven of hearts, remembering the night she'd first played a game of poker with him. There had been serious flooding throughout their part of the city and they hadn't been able to leave the apartment. The power kept going out, so tv wasn't much of an option, but they'd had games.
And cards.
She'd taught him to play, and they'd bet household chores.
Four games in a row, he was dealt that same seven of hearts. He'd been having so much fun that he dissolved into a fit of laughter the fourth time it showed up.
His mother hadn't understood what was so funny, but his giggles soon proved contagious and she joined him on the floor.
"Jason, are you still awa-... oh." Bruce knocked on his door as he opened it, but froze when he saw his son. "What happened?"
Jason looked down and shrugged. "It's… Mom's birthday. I was just… remembering her."
"Oh, Jay. I'm sorry. Do… do you want to be alone?"
Jason didn't say anything for a second.
Then he gestured to the foot of his bed with a small smile. "Want to play poker?"