To Live is to Love
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❝ The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for ❞
His eyes, a hue bordering between red and purple, captivated your secrets and desires. Looking into them made you want to dig out your heart through flesh and bones to present on a silver platter to him. You wanted him to cradle it in his hands and cherish it like priceless art. Your soul was already his so what more was your heart?
For your whole life, the colours had been dull. There was nothing to live for, no reason for you to wake up every morning. This, however, changed one day when a man with eyes like amethysts and wine approached you, offering a deal you could not refuse. You joined the Rats in the House of the Dead with no Ability of your own but a handful of skills you picked up from boredom.
From then on, slowly over the years, you came to understand the man named Fyodor Dostoyevsky—a man who was as much human as 'demon'.
> A fic based on a quote from the real Dostoyevsky.
Series
- Part 1 of To Live is to Love
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He pretended not to know you in front of prying eyes. But in the shadows, away from the light and the world around, he would have you in his arms, your back against the alley’s wall. Slow kisses would trail up your neck and you would gasp. Your laughter in his ears, your arms around his neck, smiling playfully as you tugged at his hair.
“Missed me?”
A face of impassiveness, just the small perk of his lips. “Of course, Любовь моя.”
Love, jealousy, and trust. Obsession, possession, and desire. Fyodor is always thinking about you.
Arriving at Yokohama, you—with all your talent and skill in the art of deceit—join the Armed Detective Agency. Fyodor watches you play your role on the stage you prepared for yourself as the pieces of his plans slowly fall into place.
Series
- Part 2 of To Live is to Love
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In the corner of your vision, you saw it.
The flicker of an ushanka. The swishing of a dark cloak. The blinking of magenta eyes.
You knew him. The familiarity was both quiet and staggering all at once. It screamed in your mind and pulled at your body. Your movements were instinctual, acting on something you no longer remember. You knew this man, you knew the way he spoke, smooth and deliberate. You knew the way he held himself, elegant and poised. You knew how he was, scarily intelligent and cunning, confident and calm, enigmatic and unpredictable. The feeling that bubbled up within you was a strange mix that you couldn’t untangle.
You don't know where you are. You don't know why you're here. You don't even know who you are.
Since you awoke without your memories, you have been wandering the streets without aim. You don't know what to do. You don't know where you should go. You don't know anything at all. You can only walk around and hope something familiar jumps out at you.
And, as unlikely as it is, it does happen. All in the form of a beautiful man with beautiful eyes.
You'll be damned if you let him slip away.
Series
- Part 3 of To Live is to Love
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❝ Life is more hellish than hell itself ❞
He couldn’t be more different from you. He grew up in the slums; you grew up in riches. He had orphans who offered companionship; you had nobody. He starved, never knowing when a day would be his last; you never went hungry, never had to worry about survival. He had nothing; you had everything. He was unfortunate, and you were too privileged.
And yet, both of your paths converged at one point of similarity—the lack of meaning in your lives and the person who appeared like a saviour, promising to give your lives a purpose if you joined them.
During your undercover mission in the Port Mafia, you meet a boy whose gaze reminds you too much of your past. When you give him the injection and interrogate him, you further learn about how different yet how similar your circumstances are.
The feelings that settled after the encounter weigh heavily on your heart. Of course, it's only a matter of time before Fyodor notices. And of course, he knows just the way to untangle your thoughts and solve your conflict.
Series
- Part 4 of To Live is to Love
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(Sorry) To All the Versions of Us That Loved by Myste
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
02 Feb 2026
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His jewelled flowers are gentle. They flutter over your skin, twist around your left ring finger, before tentatively unfurling their tiny blue petals. They grow from you like a sweet lullaby, soothing and ever so enchanting. You didn’t expect his soul to be this way. Maybe you’re just lucky, taking the only piece that can be so beautiful. Or maybe it’s just because you only briefly brushed against his hand when you passed him. You still don’t know exactly how your curse works. At least even in your ignorance, you can still help.
There are countless other worlds in the Book outside your own.
…and in each and every one of them, you love Fyodor.
Visions of these other worlds come to you in your dreams, moments from other timelines, where different choices lead to different endings. They contain the past, present, and future. You read them like stories, watch them like a film, and navigate your own world using them.
Series
- Part 5 of To Live is to Love