The Return of the Razor
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Was the shard of two-way mirror ever a good plot device? Even before WB got their hands on it, lost it, found it again?
Series
- Part 1 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,552
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 46
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Cw. Drug use. Implied sexual abuse. The Horcruxes are somehow different here.
Flashback DH pre Malfor Manor. And then OotP.
Title courtesy of Charles Kingsley.Series
- Part 2 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,314
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 90
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Kings Cross and Saint Pancras by MadCyril
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Brighton Rock - Graham Greene
13 Jan 2026
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No shard of 2-way mirror. What are we going to do?
pov; Pinkie, then Harry. Tom Gaunt has NOT become Voldemort but rather Graham Greene's antagonist from Brighton Rock.
So the Dark Lord speaks Polari. Translation: droll, amusing; mangare, food; chavvie, child; dish, backside; bona nochy, good night; palared, spoke; beuer, loose woman.
Cw. Some nasty racist slurs at the end. Period accurate.Series
- Part 3 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 29
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No shard of 2 way mirror. Everyone is doomed at Malfoy Manor!
Pov Luna then Draco. cw includes a flashback to the start of DH including torment and murder.
Meanwhile, Dean is working through his Stanley Kubrick phase.Series
- Part 4 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,318
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 22
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No shard of two way mirror. Hermione is missing. The fugitives from Malfoy Manor convene at Shell Cottage
Series
- Part 5 of The Return of the Razor
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- English
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- 3,194
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- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 34
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Cw aftermath of torture. Bella has clearly not just been practicing her calligraphy. Also, no shard of mirror: hostage situation! Extreme threat.
Series
- Part 6 of The Return of the Razor
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Cw Dead dove do not eat. See notes at the end. Nothing funny here.
DH is ostensibly just another kid’s book yet Jo very nearly leaves Hermione to a murderous psychotic bitch quite happy to hand her over to an ostensibly rapey paedo. You don't exactly need Fenrir to say, ‘whaddya think’s gonna happen?’Series
- Part 7 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,252
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 96
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Summary
Cw More Dead Doves; see notes at end.
Series
- Part 8 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,488
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 154
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Cw. I now have a dead-dove dove cote. See notes at the end.
Nat is Dudley’s girlfriend (Harry’s ex)… the girl from the café from the film of HBPSeries
- Part 9 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,728
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 27
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Cw sex. Also various flashbacks. Veela sex can cause mortal damage. Tom Guant is obsessed with Harry’s sex life. And his wizarding name is not amenable to the taboo because the anagrams are all so ridiculous; as indeed is the whole concept, thanks Jo. So, as Malfoy tries to explain, Tom chose a well-known wizarding phrase or saying instead. Hilarity ensues.
Griphook’s banking prank is straight out of Not The Nine O’Clock News. And The C16th Goblin Witch Sex protocols are a favourite field of study for Professor Binns who, genius that he is, somehow made them really boring.Series
- Part 10 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
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- 4,996
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- 1/1
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 382
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Cw serious injury.
Findabair references Arnold Layne by FloydSeries
- Part 11 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
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- 2,337
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- 1/1
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- 34
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Flashback. Flash forward! Implied PTSD. Lyrics: ‘O Children,’ by Nick Cave. But you knew that.
Series
- Part 12 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
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- 1,698
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- 1/1
- Hits:
- 28
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Hermione doesn't know for once, but the island is Boreray, part of the St Kilda Archipelgo.
For non-Brits ‘twitchers’ are bird-watchers.Series
- Part 13 of The Return of the Razor
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Summary
Dead Dove. Explicit violence, major character death, and gore. See notes at end.
Twosticks is Nat’s (The Café Girl From Whinging Central) name for Harry. ‘Gaylord’ is most certainly homophobic, period typical, and in accord with the portrayal of the antagonist in the film: utilised by younger and more irreverent members of The Order to denigrate ‘The Dark Lord’; none of this ‘You Know Who’ business. Let’s face it, it’s what your average immature Griff would.
Pettigrew makes a strange confession. See Tinker Tailor Soldier Squib when it’s back up.
The reverse beartrap is, of course, from Saw.Series
- Part 14 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,312
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 26
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Redoubled by MadCyril
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Brighton Rock - Graham Greene
03 Mar 2026
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Summary
cw: casual racial slur, typical of the C20th British establishment. Severus pov
Tom Gaunt speaks Polari. Look it up.
Hints of Star Trek history.Series
- Part 15 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,533
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1
- Hits:
- 23
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Summary
Dead dove. Non con. Dub con. Suicide ideation. See notes at the end.
Also, Fenrir: exceptionally creepy. Initial reference to and later flashback to Perkin’s tent.
There is a coded accusation about The Hallows.
The Fool’s Gold Loaf was Elvis’ all too frequent guilty pleasure.Series
- Part 16 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
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- 3,623
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- 1
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- 293
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Inspired… if that is the right word… by hermionesrini’s ‘Hooking up with Griphook.’ Unless that author was quoting the vile anti-mudblood slurs that emerged after the war, once rumours about the raid on Gringotts came to light? Because, of course, we know Hermione was still stuck on Boreray the whole time!
Luna’s Goblin promised reward is courtesy of the Sherman brother’s ‘Fidelity Fiduciary Bank.’
Sex Division is from the novel ‘Headhunters’ by John King.
cw: Griphook is a truly vulgar and sexist little lurve god.Series
- Part 17 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
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- 4,024
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- 135
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Summary
Cw. Hint of past underage sexual activity. Also dub con. Poor Hermione.
But the cavalry they send smoke signals.Series
- Part 18 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
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- 3,814
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- 2
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- 650
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Firenze, Londra, Brighton by MadCyril
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hannibal Lecter (Hopkins Movies), Brighton Rock - Graham Greene
21 Mar 2026
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Summary
Hi Hannibal.
Cw sex scene, subtle torture, then brutal murder.
Plan J is from the film ‘Bill.’
The Horcruxes ARE different here… and that business with the cave was a bit melodramatic. One day I may work out a way to revive my first Potter fic and you can learn more about The Grim Gym.Series
- Part 19 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,716
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 43
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Summary
Dead Dove: non con. See notes at end
Also… did I say the Horcruxes were different… somehow?
BUT, on the other hand… badass Hermione escapes! Get in!Series
- Part 20 of The Return of the Razor
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,686
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 82