Bikers AU

Series Metadata

Listing Series

• The dickhead distribution system never fails by BlueMouseAtSea

  Fandoms: Men's Football RPF  

  • General Audiences
  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • M/M
  • Work in Progress

  26 Jul 2026

  Tags

  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • Jude Bellingham/Erling Håland
  • Erling Håland
  • Jude Bellingham
  • Martin Ødegaard
  • Julian Ryerson
  • Andreas Schjelderup
  • Harry Kane (Men's Football RPF)
  • Alexander Sørloth
  • Ørjan Nyland
  • Alternate Universe - Bikers
  • Rivals to Lovers
  • Paying off a debt
  • Smoking
  • bellingham is a brat in this one
  • Flirting
  • Fuck AI
  • Eventual Smut
  • Jude being a menace to the norwegian gang
  • Crack Treated Seriously
  • Julian Ryers has anger issues
  • best right hand man Martin Odegaard
  • A Bit Of Homophobic Language
  • but it is barely there
  • Dialogue
  • Found Family
  • Tags May Change
  • Alexander Sorloth has a dead son
  • im sorry sorloth it was necessary for the plot
  • Crack
  • throwing bottles
  • Blood and Injury
  • Hurt No Comfort

  Summary

  Erling Haaland's relatively stable life as the leader of a biker gang is flipped on its side when he has to take in a member of their English rivals. The chaos is expected, but the feelings that bubble to the surface sure aren't.

  or Bikers AU

  Series

  • Part 1 of Bikers AU

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  2,794

  Chapters:

  2/3

  Comments:

  10

  Kudos:

  54

  Bookmarks:

  8

  Hits:

  767

• If you have to kick me do it softly by BlueMouseAtSea

  Fandoms: Men's Football RPF  

  • General Audiences
  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • M/M
  • Work in Progress

  29 Jul 2026

  Tags

  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • Martin Ødegaard/Declan Rice
  • Jude Bellingham/Erling Håland
  • Martin Ødegaard
  • Andreas Schjelderup
  • Julian Ryerson
  • Erling Håland
  • Alternate Universe - Bikers
  • Hurt/Comfort
  • Team Bonding
  • Team as Family
  • Banter
  • Erling cooks
  • implied Martin/Declan
  • there will be more of them later I promise
  • Martin and Erling being a platonic married couple
  • Martin is the dad who stepped up
  • or maybe the brother who stepped up
  • adopted little brother Andreas Schjelderup
  • yeah this is just a happy little family
  • protective Martin Odegaard

  Summary

  The tires have been slashed, the boys are out of the house and Andreas is a few fingernails shorter than he was half an hour ago. Set a few hours before Erling & Co goes to meet up with the English, this is a short prologue to The Dickhead Distribution System Never Fails. We get to see what happens through the POV of Martin. Can be read as a standalone.

  or Martin have thoughts and feelings about the English while he patches up Andreas Schjelderup

  Series

  • Part 2 of Bikers AU

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  976

  Chapters:

  1/?

  Comments:

  2

  Kudos:

  8

  Bookmarks:

  1

  Hits:

  184