SaaS: Software as (a) Smut
Series Metadata
Listing Series
-
We Should Fuck (& Maybe More): An Empirical Study by CrystalMyst
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 May 2026
Tags
Summary
Draco stared at the screen. Or, more accurately, the words on the screen. His face lax and unreadable, he looked from Hermione back to where the title glowed in clean black letters.
Why We Should Fuck (& Maybe More): An Empirical Study
He looked at her like she’d grown another head, or a tail, or declared she was in love with the elderly and deaf Ministry archivist, Agnes Brocklehurst. He looked pained, but somehow managed to keep his tone light and casual. “So, what’s all this then?”
“What does it look like? I have a proposal to discuss.”
“With that title?”
“Yes.”
“And this is the personal project you wanted to discuss with… me. I am… one of the ‘we’?”
“Well, I wasn’t planning to present it to McLaggen.”
OR
Hermione gets tired of waiting, and makes a slide deck to convince Draco that he wants her.
Series
- Part 1 of SaaS: Software as (a) Smut
-
Tags
Summary
Hermione makes a teensy, catastrophic coding error that leads directly to Draco and an earnest and very inappropriate kink exploration using Microsoft Excel
“You apparated right out of the stall at the Three Broomsticks, so I was not expecting to hear from you again. Now I'm here, and I’m curious how you ended up in this little conundrum.”
He grinned like it was the best thing to happen to him all year. “I won't push for anything; I just want to know.”
"It's a spreadsheet," she blurted, dissociating to avoid the churn of embarrassment in her gut. "A tracking system with an integrated OwlText system."
Draco blinked rapidly then his mouth curved into a disbelieving grin.
"Granger," he said slowly, coming to the conclusion at the same time the words left his mouth, "---are you telling me you've kept a record of every man you've slept with... so you can send booty calls more efficiently?"
It was reductive, but somewhat, unfortunately, accurate.
"There was a coding error... Malfoy, you were not supposed to receive that message."
"But I did. So, where do I rank?"
Series
- Part 2 of SaaS: Software as (a) Smut
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,702
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Kudos:
- 3
- Hits:
- 71