leave this blue neighborhood.
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Jack is just trying not to see ghosts in the flashing of the lights, because he’s all too aware of where he is. In Vegas, for one. But he’s also all too aware of what these sorts of settings used to be like for him, the way it was easier to try when he had the pills down his throat and a warm boy at his side that eased his way through conversations like they came second-nature to him. Jack keeps seeing a backwards black snapback or a flash of short blonde hair and a shiny watch when the lights are at their brightest, and it has him on edge, because one second he thinks he sees something, and the next it’s gone, and he’s left wondering if he’s dreaming up demons.
If Kent could ever truly be considered a demon, even on the worst days.
Series
- Part 1 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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Kent doesn’t know how the fuck he’s supposed to get his head on straight when just seeing Jack staring him down from across the ice still makes him want to do… he doesn’t know what. Something. The not knowing what is almost worse than the impulse, the itching under his skin to do something to fix it. That used to be his job, before, fixing things. Back when Zimms trusted him enough with what upset him. When Jack was thinking too much, Kent did what he could to fight off the monsters.
It was the monsters he couldn’t see that fucked things up, in the end.
Series
- Part 2 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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Off and on for three and a half weeks, Kent is on top of the world, and the idea that he can step in and make a statement and shift the entire dialogue about LGBTQ+ issues in hockey seems plausible. He believes that he holds the power to change hockey and to keep Jack, all in the palm of his hand.
And then, reality catches up, and the crash comes.
Series
- Part 3 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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Jack doesn’t think any picture could capture the way the view through the window of his dorm room looks cold and empty, and the way that Jack knows he only sees it that way because it’s sinking in that he's now in a place where no one knows his name.
Considering his name, that should be a good thing. That should be a really, really good thing. But it also feels gut-wrenchingly lonely, terrifying in a way he hasn’t really felt since he almost lost everyone and everything.
Series
- Part 4 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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The truth is that Kent would move mountains to get Zimms back out there on the ice with him. It had seemed so obvious in his head when he got in the car and drove down to Samwell. Being able to move cap space around is one of the parts of being a captain he never messed with, but he knows that if faced with the decision to trade someone in order to clear out room for Jack, he’d take the heat from his team without giving it a second thought. He could lay it out for Jack, offer up the chance to go back to what they were before, and Jack would get it. Jack would say yes.
But now that he’s here, Jack isn’t saying yes. Jack isn’t saying anything at all.
Series
- Part 5 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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There are some bad decisions that Kent barrels his way into, knowing they’re terrible ideas. A dirty check on someone twice his size. Saying something honest to the media after a game, instead of giving the press-perfect approved message. They’re things Kent can do, that Kent sometimes does too much, driven by impulse and spite. But they feel safe, even once the consequences hit. Kent may walk away with sore ribs or a new black eye, may have to sit through another media training session and a lecture from the PR person. But when Kent is at his highest, they’re bad decisions that he hates himself for making but that don’t feel like they can touch him.
But being with someone - actually being with them, in a way that is real and present and not half-assed for appearances’ sake. That’s something different entirely. That's a risk that feels too big for Kent to take.
Series
- Part 6 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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Everyone always talks like Kent was the reckless one, and sometimes he was. Sometimes he was so reckless it worried Jack. But there were more moments when he wasn’t. There were lots and lots of moments where Kent was the one alert when Jack wasn’t. When Kent was scrambling to do his best to help, even when he didn’t always understand the problem. When Jack was drunk or high and Kent was the only person keeping him in one piece.
Jack isn’t even sure that Kent was ever aware of how much he did to help.
Series
- Part 7 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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Jack wants to ask Kent why he’s bothering. Why Kent won’t leave it be, and why Kent seems to think that anyone wants Jack hanging around at their party. They never did on any of Jack’s other teams, even back when it was cheesy kiddie birthday parties. Some things may be different in the Q, but Jack can’t see this being one of them.
But Kent doesn’t even give Jack time to say yes before he’s reaching back into his pocket and asking for Jack’s number and typing it into his phone.
Series
- Part 8 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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There are a lot of things that Jack doesn’t know until he meets Kenny.
Series
- Part 9 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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The thought prickles in the back of Kent’s head, though. College. Because he’s been thinking a lot lately. His old friends from back home have been posting prom pictures and graduation group shots and college acceptance announcements on Facebook. It’s hard to talk to a lot of them anymore, because they don’t quite get what Kent’s life looks like. It’s hard for them to understand Kent’s schedule or Kent’s lifestyle or Kent’s time being split between two cities and a giant bus.
It’s just. Different. When he’s sitting on a Memorial Cup championship win and is waiting to hear what NHL team he’s going to play for.
Series
- Part 10 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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In another day, Jack knows he is going to be staring down his dad’s disappointed face, is going to have to acknowledge that he isn’t good enough. That he hasn’t worked hard enough. Hasn’t taken advantage of the opportunities he’s been given, when he’s been given every single opportunity a hockey player could dream of.
In another day, the whole world will know something that Jack’s known all along. Kent Parson is a better player than him, and Kent Parson is his generation’s shining star.
Series
- Part 11 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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Kent will always be one impulse away from kissing Jack in a public park under the shade of the tree, one snarky comment away from being too transparently fond. Kent has never been wholly soft, and never will be. But he will always be too present in himself and his body and his feelings when he’s next to Jack, too aware of the way his heart trips when Jack smiles just for him.
Series
- Part 12 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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When hockey is in full swing and when Jack looks to his other wing, to the other end of his line, it’s never the familiar face he wants it to be. When he goes home to Montreal, he drives to get gas and remembers slushies in the afternoon sun and kissing in the back of Jack’s car and hanging out in the park and going down easy for Kent in his bed, getting a break from his head and letting someone else take care of the big worries for a while.
Kenny is everywhere in that city, everywhere in his home. This year, worse than ever.
Series
- Part 13 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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Kent talked big on the phone, laughed it off and acted like the idea of having sex with Jack was impossible. As far as Kent knows it is. As far as Kent knows, Jack wants nothing to do with Kent these days. Until Jack puts his money where his mouth is and walks outside, Kent isn’t going to let himself think anything different.
There’s a difference, though, between acknowledging something as impossible and not wanting it.
Series
- Part 14 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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your lights are red (but i'm green to go). by katarama
Fandoms: Check Please! (Webcomic)
26 Apr 2017
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Once upon a time, there was a boy who skated like most people walk, who saw the ice as a second home. He played fast and smart and hard. He smiled when he scored, his grin blinding but fleeting, the boy already looking for the next shot. He scored a lot. He smiled a lot.
Sometimes he smiled at Kent, too.
Series
- Part 15 of leave this blue neighborhood.
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It’s not too long until it’s been a decade since the draft, a year and a little bit off. Throughout that time, Kent has consistently carved out a place for himself in Jack’s life, has demanded Jack’s attention. He has kept coming back to Jack, seemingly certain of what he wanted.
For the first time in eight and a half years, it’s Jack’s turn to actively make a choice about what he wants.
Series
- Part 16 of leave this blue neighborhood.