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Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time by monsterleadmehome
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Jun 2020
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Summary
She scoffs. “If you must know, he ‘elected’ me because he thinks our shared animosity will keep you in check. He’s also not worried about you trying to shag me as a distraction.”
He leans back, stubbing out his cigarette on the banister. His eyes rove over her from crown to toe and back. She lifts her chin and tries not to shiver. “Well, he’s right about that.”
Lucius Malfoy hires Hermione Granger to whip his son into shape so he can find a pure-blood bride and receive his inheritance. What could go wrong?
Russian translation available here.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,092
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 512
- Kudos:
- 5,416
- Bookmarks:
- 1,569
- Hits:
- 143,779
Bookmarked by Archiveria
03 Dec 2025
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Summary
'We are all broken. That's how the light gets in.'
When Hermione and Draco return to Hogwarts for their eighth year, they’re both broken and both changed in irrevocable, albeit different, ways. But when the school’s new mind healer implements an innovative new treatment, it ignites the possibility that, maybe, Hermione and Draco can help each other piece together the scattered fragments of themselves that the war has left behind.
Complete.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 108,157
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 21
- Comments:
- 1,278
- Kudos:
- 4,814
- Bookmarks:
- 2,114
- Hits:
- 202,556
Bookmarked by Archiveria
11 Nov 2025
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Since the end of the war, Hermione Granger hasn't been able to cast the Patronus charm, which she didn't think anything of until the Ministry made it a requirement for graduation. So now, she's stuck doing extra spell practice with the two other students who haven't managed to cast the spell--Theodore Nott and Draco Malfoy. Unluckily—or luckily—for her, they end up having more in common than she thought.
**COMPLETE**
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,271
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 113
- Kudos:
- 583
- Bookmarks:
- 165
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- 13,291
Bookmarked by Archiveria
06 Nov 2025
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Summary
War leaves a lot of orphans in its wake. Hermione is one, by her own hand, and she struggles with the realities of her situation. When she finds an orphaned familiar, it seems meant to be, giving and receiving comfort helping to heal her fractured heart. Unfortunately, the animal is actually a wizard, and he has his own issues.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,152
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Collections:
- 22
- Comments:
- 2,031
- Kudos:
- 4,044
- Bookmarks:
- 1,617
- Hits:
- 145,539
Bookmarked by Archiveria
03 Mar 2025
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Draco Malfoy: Dungeon Master by ChaosAndCrumpets for Abraxas52
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
14 Feb 2023
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Summary
A thorough analysis of a conversation overheard at the bar of The Leaky Cauldron between one Hermione Jean Granger and one Luna Pandora Elizabeth Constance Chrysanthemum Lovegood led Draco to the establishment of the following facts:
1. Hermione Jean Granger was looking for something called a D.M
2. There were a number of possibilities for interpretation of this acronym (one of which was rather dizzily Draco Malfoy). The most likely of these, after much research and consideration of the context of the conversation, was Dungeon Master.
3. A Dungeon Master (according to a response received to a hastily dispatched owl from a Muggleborn Theo had once had sexual relations with) was responsible for the dictation of play in a Muggle game known as Dungeons and Dragons. This was an RPG (Role Playing Game) in which participants were subject to the whims of the D.M
4. Dungeons and Dragons was, after much investigation and a fair amount of educated guesswork, in all likelihood, a Muggle subset of the BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Submission, Masochism) community.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,317
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 114
- Kudos:
- 785
- Bookmarks:
- 93
- Hits:
- 6,612
Bookmarked by Archiveria
19 Jan 2025