CannedJackAss
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Of Pies and Pearls by CannedJackAss
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
02 Feb 2021
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Summary
A story about love, home and new beginnings.
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Summary
Once upon a time there was a legend whispered only in the darkest corners of the underworld. Al-Tayyib, the artist of death. The story went he fell in love, did the impossible and then walked into the light, never to be seen again.
A decade onwards a mild-mannered importing warehouse clerk named Joe lives in a sleepy little town with his sleep little life and his sleepy little house and his sleepy little consistence of routine with the love of his life, nothing more or less than a normal man deep in the throes of almost perfect domestic bliss.
Then one night, trouble comes knocking on the door.
It picked the wrong damn house.
Or, in other words: The Joe Wick AU
Bookmarked by CannedJackAss
10 Jan 2024
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Contractually Speaking by ishandahalf
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), The Old Guard (Comics)
07 Jun 2021
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New homeowner Joe has hired contractor Nicky for his planned renovations. He very quickly begins to regret that decision - not because of Nicky’s quality of work, but… just how is Joe supposed to react when the most gorgeous man he has ever seen is giving him pointers on how hard to squeeze his caulk?
Bookmarked by CannedJackAss
19 Nov 2023
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i'm alright with a slow burn by incurableromancer
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), The Old Guard (Comics)
08 May 2023
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Back in college Joe and his friends used to joke about selling out, finding rich patrons and being paid obscene amounts of money to paint pretentious abstract pieces. Ten years later, Joe's the only one who actually did it. Finding himself with more money than he'll ever need, an utter lack of passion for his craft and no friends left in the city, he runs away to a tiny town on the coast to try and rediscover whatever it is he lost of himself along the way. Luckily for him, the overly friendly manager of the motel he's living in and said overly friendly manager's two year old son are all too eager to help him out.
Bookmarked by CannedJackAss
11 Nov 2023
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a little piece of eternity (who knows what to do with it) by knoepfchen
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
21 May 2023
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The morning rehearsals set to start, Joe corners Quynh in the little office of their rehearsal space.
‘Well?’ he says, crossing and uncrossing his arms.The tension is getting to him.
Quynh only looks at him with an expression that tells him she’s surprised to see him awake, then she pushes some papers together on her desk.
‘I will tell you what I told Nicky when he stormed in here half an hour ago. Let it happen.’
Joe feels his temper rising and just as quickly deflate again.‘Really?’
Quynh looks at him for a long time, then she winks. ‘I’m not going to repeat myself.’When Andy approaches Joe for the lead role in a play she's directing, he would be a fool to say no, even though his co-star is Nicolò di Genova, who he has a history with that's more than complicated.
If he can just move past that, he's sure he'll figure out his performance - he'll figure out how to be something more.
An actor!AU (not RPF)
Bookmarked by CannedJackAss
09 Nov 2023
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Stop and Smell the Flours by ishandahalf
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), The Old Guard (Comics)
27 Aug 2023
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Summary
Nicky is a baker. And a witch. (A witch whose magic infuses into his baking, so really those identities are irrevocably intertwined.)
He is perfectly content baking bread and making pastries, feeding his customers with lightly charmed food, and acting as the unofficial welcome wagon for new entrepreneurs setting up shop on their street.
Then one day the storefront across the road – the one that just can’t seem to stay in business – is leased (again)...
Bookmarked by CannedJackAss
03 Nov 2023