FreeSolaria
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Calladayce, the Comically Large Bananar, and Other Whimsical Tales by FreeSolaria
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000
01 Aug 2026
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Summary
Calladayce Taurovalia Kesh: she was the Custode that almost destroyed Terra, the rocket-rider of a would-be cyclonic warhead that could’ve undone the entire universe in one fell stroke and ignited the chain reaction of chain reactions leading to that, were it not for a timely intervention from her brethren and a distrustful vox-officer.
But attempting to nuke the seat of the Imperium in a Blood Game was BARELY even her first antic. Behind the story that made her reputable is a much bigger, and sillier personality than many other notables of the galaxy can not claim to be. One that has lived for 6,000 years, and doesn’t intend on letting the grim darkness of the far future irk her flair… For the silly. And she has a lot of it!
Featuring tales, mostly whimsical, centred around the unexpected Custodian herself!
Set at times in and also after the Reign of Blood (AKA when Goge “I’m Too Busy To Die” Vandire was ruling the Imperium of Man), with stories ranging from early-M36 to M42.If you want to immediately jump into reading it without reading the prior context-sections, please head to “The Comically Large Bananar” chapter!
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Summary
In the grim darkness of the far future, a Custodian of the Unexpected lives: Calladayce Taurovalia Kesh.
Once just another carbon copy of her kind: a stoic, duty-bound, vigil-keeping mentally, spiritually, bio-alchemically, and soulfully-loyal guardian of her “King of Ages”, Calladayce Taurovalia Kesh would break these very shackles and chart 6,000 years of her life as her own woman. Free even of being written, she blazed a goofy path of whimsies and fun along the way!
But there was always a chance that she could have never been the woman she was. Two years after facing down an identity crisis, spawned by having been written of as just another unfeeling machine, Calladayce has now discovered that this gilded automaton DID exist. And she’s NOT going to let the last remnants of that soulless Custode get away with her identity!
With a team of fellow unexpecteds by her side, Calladayce sets off to confront the root of her evil-self, and eliminate the last vestiges of her identity crisis-spawning portrayal for good.
Will they succeed, or will the darkness swallow them?
Set in 011.M42…
(With some skippable explanations for certain things mentioned in the Calladaycean bundle of stories!)
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Guidesman to the Golden Throne: Just A Silly :3 by FreeSolaria
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, The Owl House (Cartoon)
04 Jul 2026
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Summary
It is a time of two vastly different millenniae. Between the vast chronometric distance that separates the 36th millennium and the 42nd one, a persistent truth has been present: the Guidesman to the Golden Throne, as shrouded in mystery as ever, works from where the Greater Game could not see him. High above every Imperial institution, the secretive Officio Solium Aurum, veiled from sight, constantly works to intentionally-contradictory ends, one hand appeasing the status quo, and one trying to defy it.
But events have a way of bringing the most unexpected of things, personified in a form no one expects. In the 36th millennium, he greets that person, unaware of their own potential to defy all that was and is the standards of a cruel narrative. In the other millennium, they reflect on what power it could hold.
Could their meeting reveal to both of them something beyond their own troubles, or will it be the first time that they learn of what existence can never be shaken from - and why grim and dark fatalism must forever remain?
Series
- Part 3 of Guidesman To The Golden Throne Series
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Guidesman to The Golden Throne: Voice Of The Shadow-Regent by FreeSolaria
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, The Owl House (Cartoon)
07 May 2026
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Summary
High above the spires of Holy Terra, perched upon a special area of the Imperial Palace, and nested within the confines of the Imperium of Man’s most secretive agency, two old men find the time to discuss with each other: the enigmatic Guidesman to the Golden Throne, and his aide, a man known as the Voice of the Golden Throne.
As the Dark Millennium comes to a close, the two elderly individuals will muse on the last subjects they will converse on until the end of those thousand years. That, and perhaps, remember what they must keep when reality itself is in flames.
This tale is a glance upon this most valued time, and perhaps, of the man that has been serving the Guidesman as a friend and equal, too.
Series
- Part 2 of Guidesman To The Golden Throne Series
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Guidesman To The Golden Throne: Pizza Bagel by FreeSolaria
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, The Owl House (Cartoon)
22 Jul 2025
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Summary
It is the 41st millennium. The Imperium of Man, the largest empire to have graced the stars since the time of elder xenos races, reigns supreme, united, and ever the duality of Mankind’s triumph and destruction both, their immortal Emperor having been bechained and nigh-mute upon the Golden Throne of Terra for the past ten thousand years. To the eyes of the “Greater Game”, whose every direction governs all of reality in a way The Four malignant entities of the Warp could never claim the power of, that is all there is.
But where its eye deliberately cannot see, are others. Amongst these others are ardent workers, whose organisations silently work amidst shadows. The Officio Solium Aurum, an organisation whose levels of secrecy surpasses even that of the Adeptus Custodes, are the greatest amongst these, led by the Guidesman to the Golden Throne for the same ten thousand years the Imperium has existed as a proper polity.
But duty cannot be done without some respite along the way, or so the old and enigmatic Guidesman knows. That is why every once a month, he arranges for himself a small treat, a reward, in a way, for his work: eating pizza bagels. This tale is but a glance into one of those sessions.
Series
- Part 1 of Guidesman To The Golden Throne Series
Recent series
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Calladayce: Tales of a Bananar - The Epic Series Franchise Tale Blockbuster Anthology Special by FreeSolaria
Fandom Warhammer 40.000
01 Aug 2026
Summary
In the grim darkness of the far future… A CUSTODE exists.
Set in the far future where there is only WAR, a member of an order of Aurumite-clad demigods known as the Adeptus Custodes has learned THINGS. Known as CALLADAYCE TAUROVALIA KESH, this superhuman woman who stoically kept her duty of vigil, ever-loving her emperor, has finally learned… The TRUTH.
And that TRUTH… Changed her forever. No longer bound to the lies constantly recycled into her very SPIRIT and bio-alchemic soul, CALLADAYCE decides… To go OUTSIDE the IMPERIAL PALACE and stop doing her STOIC VIGIL…
Join the imaginary “us” in the area… As Calladayce navigates the BRUTAL GOTHIC GRIM DARKNESS with NOTHING BUT-
silly :3
blehhh :p-And maybe laugh along the way, as a Custodian that was said to have a “flair for the grandiose and unexpected” does the unexpected, alright: defy the ENTIRE point of the setting, just to have a good time!
There is no seriousness among THIS Custodian’s stars: only an eternity of grim dark-less silly… And the laughter of a Laughing God… (That she just so happens to serve!)
- Words:
- 89,149
- Works:
- 2
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Guidesman To The Golden Throne Series by FreeSolaria
Fandom The Owl House (Cartoon), Warhammer 40.000
04 Jul 2026
Summary
The Guidesman to The Golden Throne: it was a title that has never seen the grace of public view for over ten thousand years of the vast Imperium of Man’s history. It is a post - an office of such incredible power - that has been delliberately obscured from the eyes of those who play the Greater Game for as long as it was maintained upon reality. It was the status of utter secrecy, taking personification of a career.
But now, such titles have been given the smallest of graces to surface. And with it, the countless stories long veiled from sight. Such accounts and narratives, from the tales of the enigmatic office itself, to tales of forces and individuals once not meant to be known, have been given the sanction to be witnessed.
-Told, perhaps, from an unworthy writer as me; for who can match their stories with words?
These are the tales of the Guidesman to The Golden Throne, Ezra Gabriel, and all those who are affiliated with him, as well.
- Words:
- 33,517
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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The Collector's Space Trip by hunter139
Fandoms: The Owl House (Cartoon), Star Wars - All Media Types
06 May 2023
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Summary
The Collector takes a journey to a Galaxy Far, Far Away. One-shot. Takes place post TOH Season 3.
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Summary
The collector eats a pizza bagel
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Pluto-289: A Death Korps of Krieg Fanfiction by LeeKenTam669
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
20 Jul 2025
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Summary
Watchmaster 39R4H5 of the 96th regiment of the Death Korps of Krieg has been sent to the radioactive mining planet Pluto-289 to assist with the siege of one of the planet's hive cities that is now overrun by a mutant army. Under the command of General Alistair Wembsley and working together with the 88th regiment of the Hive Harotune Royal Guards, the Krieg officer is exposed to the planet's politics and strange culture.
(A tribute to Sharpe's Eagle)