GodIsPrettyKnives
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flowers shall grow by parsnipit
Fandoms: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, Linked Universe - jojo56830 (Webcomic)
25 Jan 2026
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Summary
The first thing the Dragon of the Wild knows is this:
It hurts.
Wild swallows a secret stone in order to save Zelda from Ganondorf.
Meanwhile, Hylia dumps eight iterations of his soul into the Depths for a lesson in despair and dragon-keeping.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 122,266
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 1,029
- Kudos:
- 2,032
- Bookmarks:
- 480
- Hits:
- 42,112
Bookmarked by GodIsPrettyKnives
31 Jan 2026
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Summary
Lately, though, The Narrator and him had had the talk. Not the birds and the bees talk, obviously, they were grown men. They both knew it was something along the lines of it, though. “Give me privacy in the broom closet”, “let me mute my mic”, “make the broom closet more comfortable”, “don’t break things when I leave, it’s distracting”, “distracting from what?”, “Shut up Stanley, I know what you do in that closet”, “and I know what you do on your breaks, smart ass”.
The talk.
Bookmarked by GodIsPrettyKnives
18 Jan 2026
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Summary
Things have been good— besides some lingering regret over not killing Shroud and the careful consolidating of corporatizing Mecha Man with dispatch work, Robert’s been alright. Hell, he even bought a bed recently.
Things spiral pretty quickly when he’s a victim of some sort of bizarro mugging and gets turned into a cat. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even rank in the top ten worst experiences of his life.
Series
- Part 1 of I Think You’re the Cat’s Meow
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,630
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 527
- Kudos:
- 1,920
- Bookmarks:
- 388
- Hits:
- 22,186
Bookmarked by GodIsPrettyKnives
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
Herman's eyes brim with tears, face flushed as he whimpers. The cheap plastic chair creaks under their combined weight. Herman's voice breaks on a strangled moan, the sound raw and utterly wrecked as it tears from his throat. Fresh tears streak down his already flushed cheeks, his breath hitching between desperate sobs. Robert thinks he's never seen anything sweeter than Herman falling apart like this as those large hands dig into skin as Robert bounces on his cock. And in that moment, Robert wants to eat him alive.
Short summary: Robert rides Waterboy in that stupid chair he sleeps in.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,975
- Chapters:
- 4/?
- Comments:
- 163
- Kudos:
- 2,512
- Bookmarks:
- 341
- Hits:
- 28,674
Bookmarked by GodIsPrettyKnives
23 Dec 2025
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Summary
In a stroke of good luck, Herman finds himself with a wealth of free time on his day off.
Normally he spends this by himself, or with his grandma, but the group of people he's found himself dating give him a better idea.Series
- Part 2 of The Z-Team Harem
Bookmarked by GodIsPrettyKnives
22 Dec 2025