GrayAss
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Robert slumps into his chair, headset half-on, the SDN bullpen still humming with the last dregs of the night shift. The coffee tastes like battery acid, but it’s the only thing keeping his eyes open.
Then the comm crackles.
“Hello, Robert.”
Phenomaman’s voice, flat as a gravestone.
“I would like to learn about intercourse from a human person.”
Robert chokes on his coffee. Why is this his life?
Series
- Part 1 of Dispatch NSFW Fics
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- English
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- 12/?
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Bookmarked by GrayAss
05 Dec 2025
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Messages by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) for Melioristicbeast
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
05 Oct 2025
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“When McCall called to say you’d lost your mind, I thought he was fucking with me. It implies you had a mind to lose to begin with.”
“Do you know what this heathen did?!” Stiles demanded, facing Jackson around the side of the board, but pointing his marker backwards towards the apartment across the way.
“I probably don’t care,” Jackson admitted, sighing in annoyance.
“He was watching Star Wars out of order, Jackson! Out. Of. Order! Not like, the original trilogy, then the prequels, then the sequels, oh no! No! He was watching them all willy nilly in whatever order he wanted!”
“The tragedy,” Jackson deadpanned, coming around the entertainment unit so he was beside Stiles at the whiteboard.
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- 5/5
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Bookmarked by GrayAss
06 Nov 2025
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The Real You by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) for Fae_vorite
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
03 May 2021
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Stiles held both hands out. “She loves it here!”
“Probably because we treat her right,” Boyd insisted, giving him a look.
“Again, not my fault,” Stiles argued. “But I will let you berate me to your heart’s content as long as you help fix her so she doesn’t leave me stranded in the boonies.”
“This whole fucking town is the God damn boonies,” Derek said angrily. Stiles wondered if he had any other settings.
So far he’d learned confusion and anger. He hoped there was a happy setting in there somewhere.
Boyd’s gaze cut briefly to Derek, then back to Stiles. “I see you’ve met Derek.”
“Oh yeah. We are now very close friends,” Stiles said, turning to grin at the Alpha.
He didn’t look impressed. Also like he was trying to figure out which parts of Stiles were the squishiest and easiest to eat through. That was concerning, he didn’t like that.
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Bookmarked by GrayAss
06 Oct 2025
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Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) for Fae_vorite
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
24 Apr 2021
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“Scott, I am in love with Derek!” Stiles shook him roughly. “This is literally the worst thing that could ever happen to me! How am I supposed to have a conversation with him without blurting out that I love his big, beautiful brain, or that he literally makes me feel like I could barf rainbows, he makes me so happy, or that his eyebrows are sexy?!”
“You—you think his eyebrows are sexy?” Scott asked, as if that was the most important takeaway here.
Stiles slapped him hard in the arm. “Scott, focus! What am I gonna do?!”
Bookmarked by GrayAss
03 Oct 2025
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My, What Big Shoulders You Have (The Better to Help You Carry the Weight) by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) for nohmisung
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
05 Oct 2021
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“Talia was just telling me an interesting story,” his dad informed him. Stiles didn’t have the nerve to glance over at him, because he knew no matter how much he argued, the proof was all there. The wolves had found him, Parrish had picked him up on the side of the road, he had a fucking picture on his phone. He was screwed. No point in arguing, all it’d do is piss his father off even more.
“You don’t say,” Stiles offered slowly. “What uh—you know, I like stories. Is it a uh, good one?”
“It seems to be a matter of opinion,” Talia said with another kind smile. “I hear you had quite the night last night.”
Okay, time to cut his losses. He was already fucked, all he could do was apologize and hope she didn’t press for him to get fined and arrested. Given he was her husband’s friend’s son, he had high hopes.
“I’m really sorry,” Stiles blurted out. “It was stupid and-and irresponsible and just—I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have crossed into your territory. I should’ve known better, I do know better! It was a complete lapse in judgement and I am just—I am so sorry.”
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Bookmarked by GrayAss
02 Oct 2025