Grey03



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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The MLH rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    04 Sep 2026

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    ilyahollanderrozanov81 ✅
    Here is an incomplete list of things about my husband that absolutely do not turn me on
    ↳ shanehollanderhockeyplayer ✅ Ilya no
    ↳ harrisdrover ✅ Ilya no
    ↳ troybarrett ✅ Ilya no
    ↳ haydenpike35 ✅ Ilya no
    ↳ rose.landry ✅ Ilya YES

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    03 Sep 2026

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    Ilya flops dramatically onto the sofa. “I am very sick, Yuna”. Ilya pouts. “Feel my forehead.”

    His forehead feels lukewarm to the touch, a little cold if anything. “You feel fine?” She says as she turns to look at Shane, who is busy rolling his eyes.

    “I am not. I have baby fever.” He sighs loudly. Yuna smiles as she realises what is happening.

    or

    5 times Ilya Rozanov is struck with baby fever + 1 time he infects Shane

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    02 Sep 2026

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    Cliff slowly eases the phone out of Ilya's sleeping hand. He answers, putting the call on loudspeaker.
    'Rozanov. Thank fuck. I know you probably don't want to hear from me. But I was just fucking mugged. I don't know where the fuck I am. And my phone is going to die. Can you-'
    'Is that Shane fucking Hollander?!' Brad yells.
    There's a long pause before Shane speaks again. 'I'm in fucking hell.'

    ***
    With Ilya indisposed, the Raiders rescue Shane from a terrible night in Boston.

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    02 Sep 2026

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    Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderofficial 
    I’ve seen many publications over the years speculating on my own, and my husband’s, hockey stats and accolades in relation to our romantic relationship and when the public assumes it started. 

    We don’t owe this to anyone. But we’ve also been playing professional hockey for seventeen years and we’ve both run out of ahem, cares to give.

    On the right is a photograph from the behind the scenes of our joint CCM advertisement in July of 2010. This photo predates the hundreds of combined accomplishments listed on the left. 

    Oh, and it was also taken about six hours before our first kiss. 

    -----

    or; a year from retirement and out of fucks to give, shane reveals their timeline to twitter in response to the latest speculatory article on their relationship. hollanovs across the world rejoice, centaurs celebrate their beloved dads, and former teammates share the not-so-subtle clues they missed the first time.

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    01 Sep 2026

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