HeistMaster



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Edward Elric is about eleven when he stands up, makes an extended effort to knock as many books off the old bastard’s shelves as he can, and says, “Fuck the military. Al, you interested in music at all?”

    Everybody's got their own ideas of retirement.

    The Elrics don't even do retirement, what with the world trying to blow itself up every other month, but this shit has got to take the fucking cake.

    Language:
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    33,186
    Chapters:
    3/3
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    26 Dec 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Edward guts him with his eyes, with his glare. He looks distressingly close to tears.

    “I’m not letting go of you.” Edward squeezes Roy’s wrist until it hurts. Until Edward’s adrenaline and fear shake down Roy’s skin and sink into his bones. “S-So stop—stop being a dumbass and help me—”

    The kid’s voice finally breaks open, raw and wet and scared. It strikes Roy’s core deeper than any bullet. Any knife.

    Any impact.

    Ed’s glare comes down on him fiercely. Roy is about to earn it.

    A mission goes very, very wrong.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,157
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
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    21 Dec 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    He grits his teeth. "How the fuck did the basilisk not poison you?"

    "It did, actually," Harry says.

    Sirius stares.

    "Well, not for long," Harry says. "Clearly, it didn't last."

    Sirius makes a distressed noise. "What's next? Was Voldemort there too? Watching with popcorn?"

    Harry brightens slightly, and Sirius already regrets asking.

    (or, sirius finds out about all of the insane, illegal shit harry got into while he was in azkaban. needless to say, he is not pleased)

    Language:
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    1/1
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    26 Nov 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The thing about plastic chairs is that they weren't a great substitute for an actual bed; the other thing is, Robert can't exactly afford to be picky and even if he 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 the internal debate is still ongoing as to whether or not he deserves a mattress at this current point in his life.

    So, the plastic chair stays and is staying for the foreseeable future. Besides, it's charming - in a depressing, minimalism-that-is-totally-not-a-reflection-of-his-inner-sense-of-worth way.

     
    Or:

    The fic where Robert has chronic pain and Flambae has warm hands. The two of them will figure out what to do about that eventually, right?

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    37,526
    Chapters:
    5/5
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    19 Nov 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Steven, Marc, and Jake have finally learned to be a mostly-functional system. Coordinating their home lives. Sharing the Fist of Khonshu powers to carry out missions around the world. They've even started doing team-ups with other superheroes!

    ...None of whom need to know personal details about their psych history, thank you very much.

    A series of times when Avengers notice Moon Knight switching/dissociating/just plain talking to himself...and the growing collection of (inconsistent, mostly ad-libbed, increasingly complicated) cover stories they get for it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,621
    Chapters:
    36/36
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    Comments:
    2,707
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    29 Sep 2025