Ithlien
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“That one with the leather and the hair, he’s getting cast for sure.”
“Oh, yeah. Doesn’t even matter if you can actually bake, when you look like that!”
“He’ll be this year’s Chigs, or Sandro. Everyone’s flavor, you know?”When Ed Teach gets cast on The Great British Bake Off, he understands the assignment. Look hot on camera, banter with the judges, bake memorable shit.
He isn’t there to make trouble. He isn't there to make friends.
And he certainly isn’t there to fall in love with fellow baker Stede Bonnet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 105,522
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,987
- Kudos:
- 726
- Bookmarks:
- 174
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- 20,202
Bookmarked by Ithlien
13 Sep 2024
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The boots land heavy on the floor in Stede’s peripheral vision.
They’re in awful shape, really quite embarrassing. Watermarks leave unsightly stains on the uppers and they’re scuffed up all over, and the silver hardware is so tarnished it’s almost as black as the leather. The right boot has a quarter-inch gouge so deep that Stede can’t begin to imagine how it got there, with only a half-hearted attempt made to treat it by rubbing in a little polish.
Such poorly-maintained leather in a place like Blackbeard’s is a rare thing; it’s almost a novelty, how frankly shitty they look.
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Or: Stede Bonnet, the world’s bitchiest bootblack, is absolutely not going to waste his time on Ed's shitty boots or his shitty attitude, thank you very much. Nope. Definitely not.
Bookmarked by Ithlien
08 Aug 2024
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It’s nearly noon on December 24th. Christmas Eve. Three things hit Stede, all at once.
First, that Boxing Day is in two days. Second, that Stede’s house is bereft of any kind of charming holiday feeling, and the kids are going to be supremely disappointed when they arrive to open their presents. Third, that Stede is going to be alone on Christmas.
Bookmarked by Ithlien
18 Jul 2024
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Ed can hear birdsong. Birdsong signalling that something in the ecosystem has shifted, dramatically. In a way that was impossible to notice when you’re immersed in it. And it hits him all at once, the realisation that the last ten years are coming to an end, that his period of bare bones survival is going to start shifting into something more active, something faster, something with significantly more intent behind it. After all, nobody tells you when the aftermath becomes just…after. Nobody can tell you when you’re going to feel safe enough to start living again.
or: Ten years after the world ended, Ed's running out of reasons to stay alive. Until one turns up on his literal doorstep, forcing him to reevaluate his definition of hope.
Bookmarked by Ithlien
16 Jul 2024
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Summary
an interdimensional triptych
- Words:
- 15,871
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 17
Bookmarked by Ithlien
22 May 2024