1 - 20 of 131 Bookmarks by Ithlien
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“That one with the leather and the hair, he’s getting cast for sure.”
“Oh, yeah. Doesn’t even matter if you can actually bake, when you look like that!”
“He’ll be this year’s Chigs, or Sandro. Everyone’s flavor, you know?”When Ed Teach gets cast on The Great British Bake Off, he understands the assignment. Look hot on camera, banter with the judges, bake memorable shit.
He isn’t there to make trouble. He isn't there to make friends.
And he certainly isn’t there to fall in love with fellow baker Stede Bonnet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 105,522
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,987
- Kudos:
- 726
- Bookmarks:
- 174
- Hits:
- 20,203
Bookmarked by Ithlien
13 Sep 2024
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The boots land heavy on the floor in Stede’s peripheral vision.
They’re in awful shape, really quite embarrassing. Watermarks leave unsightly stains on the uppers and they’re scuffed up all over, and the silver hardware is so tarnished it’s almost as black as the leather. The right boot has a quarter-inch gouge so deep that Stede can’t begin to imagine how it got there, with only a half-hearted attempt made to treat it by rubbing in a little polish.
Such poorly-maintained leather in a place like Blackbeard’s is a rare thing; it’s almost a novelty, how frankly shitty they look.
*
Or: Stede Bonnet, the world’s bitchiest bootblack, is absolutely not going to waste his time on Ed's shitty boots or his shitty attitude, thank you very much. Nope. Definitely not.
Bookmarked by Ithlien
08 Aug 2024
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It’s nearly noon on December 24th. Christmas Eve. Three things hit Stede, all at once.
First, that Boxing Day is in two days. Second, that Stede’s house is bereft of any kind of charming holiday feeling, and the kids are going to be supremely disappointed when they arrive to open their presents. Third, that Stede is going to be alone on Christmas.
Bookmarked by Ithlien
18 Jul 2024
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Ed can hear birdsong. Birdsong signalling that something in the ecosystem has shifted, dramatically. In a way that was impossible to notice when you’re immersed in it. And it hits him all at once, the realisation that the last ten years are coming to an end, that his period of bare bones survival is going to start shifting into something more active, something faster, something with significantly more intent behind it. After all, nobody tells you when the aftermath becomes just…after. Nobody can tell you when you’re going to feel safe enough to start living again.
or: Ten years after the world ended, Ed's running out of reasons to stay alive. Until one turns up on his literal doorstep, forcing him to reevaluate his definition of hope.
Bookmarked by Ithlien
16 Jul 2024
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Summary
an interdimensional triptych
- Words:
- 15,871
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 17
Bookmarked by Ithlien
22 May 2024
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Summary
stories from the pomegranates 'verse. in roughly chronological order.
- Words:
- 36,034
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 29
Bookmarked by Ithlien
22 May 2024
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Hard to Catch, and Even Harder to Hold Onto by caladria
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Apr 2024
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Summary
“Are you here for the free walking tour?” Teal Umbrella Guy says. He’s around Ed’s age, obviously bundled up in multiple layers, and wearing a very nice coat that suggests that either he’s an exceptionally good tour guide, or that the money’s coming from somewhere else. (It must be that one, there’s no one else here.) His face lights up, hopeful - probably at the prospect that he might have one taker on what is, objectively, a really shitty day to be outside. A properly expressive face, Ed thinks, now he can see it close up.
Teal Umbrella Guy whips a phone out, goes to an app. “Did you sign up online? Through the Gentleman Tourguide?” The umbrella is doing some pretty precarious things now that the guy is focused on his screen, and Ed takes a half step back to prevent a stabbing.
He’s got no idea how the guy manages the hairstyle he’s got going on, golden hair curled to perfection, like no hand should touch it.
Ed immediately wants to touch it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,999
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 80
- Kudos:
- 312
- Bookmarks:
- 46
- Hits:
- 2,328
Bookmarked by Ithlien
24 Apr 2024
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Summary
Ed and Stede have survived storms and scarcity, hardship and heartbreak to make their ways back to each other.
Now they have to figure out how to be together.
Fortunately, they have all the time in the world.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 93,473
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 1,195
- Kudos:
- 567
- Bookmarks:
- 177
- Hits:
- 15,690
Bookmarked by Ithlien
28 Mar 2024
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Summary
"It's been three nights since Calypso's party, and everything has changed since then. 'Taking it slow' is probably off the table now, what with the pair of them abandoning piracy to build a life of domestic bliss together in this little Eleutheran cove, but it feels as though they're still trying to find the edges of what their new world might be..."
***
In which Ed and Stede enter their Innkeepers Era, get stuck into renovating their new home, and lay a few ghosts to rest.
Unapologetic fluff with a moderate dose of smut.
Series
- Part 1 of The Waters Around You
Bookmarked by Ithlien
24 Mar 2024
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Somniphobia (And Other Eleven-Letter Words) by YellowMustard
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
03 Feb 2024
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Summary
“I wanna stay,” he slurs, voice just on the cusp of unintelligible. His grip on Stede’s other hand tightens, and his eyes swirl wildly. “I don’t wanna go back, don’t let me go back, Stede–”
“Go back? Ed, what do you mean?”
“Don’t wanna…I wanna stay. Please. Lemme stay. Keep me…here, keep me–jus’ keep me, ‘kay?”
(OR: After the gravy basket, Ed is terrified of falling asleep. It's a fear that stays close by in the weeks that follow. A series of missing scenes from S2, BIG TIME angst with a happy, smutty ending. Because Ed deserves to be happy)
Bookmarked by Ithlien
04 Feb 2024
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Bookmarked by Ithlien
25 Dec 2023
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The Only Man to Get Blackbeard on His Knees by olly_octopus
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Apr 2022
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Summary
When one of the last memories Ed has of his mother - a letter she wrote before she died - gets mixed up in some paperwork with a wealthy merchant’s party invitation, it’s only natural that Stede offers to help him crash the party under false aliases to help him get it back.
Of course - the unwelcome return of an old friend, a risqué party game and Ed’s fat crush on Stede Bonnet aren’t exactly helping to make the mission easy. The course of true love never did run smooth.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,911
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 368
- Kudos:
- 1,845
- Bookmarks:
- 337
- Hits:
- 25,460
Bookmarked by Ithlien
15 Dec 2023
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Summary
Ed loves sex. Like, really fucking loves sex. Orgasms, specifically. He loves a few other things, too, but god, does he love sex.
With Stede, though, something's been holding him back, and he can't quite put his finger on it. And after all the stops and starts, all the simmering tension between them, Ed would never have imagined that this would be what finally pushes things over the edge.
(Or: Ed does a silly little roleplay, has some orgasms, and reflects on the things that make life worth living.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,510
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 189
- Kudos:
- 1,758
- Bookmarks:
- 478
- Hits:
- 15,877
Bookmarked by Ithlien
11 Dec 2023
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Summary
How hard can it be to do up a guesthouse with the love of your life? A certain pair of innkeepers are about to find out.
*
Post season two finale, part epistolary, part prose fic. Unbetaed.
Bookmarked by Ithlien
05 Nov 2023
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Summary
Ed looks down, ready to get on with things, and he startles. He’s—Stede—this fucking guy has shoved his hand through the hole in the wall, fingers lined up and thumb out like he’s—nah—he wants to—
“Are you trying to shake hands?”
“Yes, I thought—”
Ed blinks. “Through a glory hole?”
“Oh Christ,” the man allegedly named Stede says, “I’ve messed this up already, haven’t I? I’m so sorry, Jeff, just forget I—hang on—damn.”
It's a glory hole meet-cute! Multiple chapters of Ed and Stede falling in love through a hole in a bathroom wall. Sex, feelings, pining, bad decisions -- all contained within. Now COMPLETE.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,368
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,066
- Kudos:
- 2,191
- Bookmarks:
- 506
- Hits:
- 27,034
Bookmarked by Ithlien
24 Oct 2023
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Summary
Ed picks Stede up at a bar for what ought to be a one-night stand, but it turns out they're attending the same academic conference the next day.
“Yes, please, a – Loose Cannon, did you say? Really, how charmingly nautical.” There. Words. Sub-optimal words, but words nonetheless. He grins, aiming it toward the stranger while taking him in in smaller doses. Leather boots, faded, artfully ripped black jeans, a purple cropped shirt under a silky, billowy black – kimono? Overshirt? Facial scruff. Lots of hair, salt and pepper, pepper only just winning out, for now. Tattooed knuckles, forearms, collarbone. Earring, silver stacking rings on most fingers, a nose stud that somehow softens the whole, well, lewk and – okay, he’s staring. He stares some more as the man reaches to accept his own drink, revealing more tattoos up the arm and an inch more of skin below the crop top. The stranger makes some obscure gesture to the bartender, then meets Stede’s eyes, which he worries might actually be protruding from his skull, like a cartoon. AwOOga.
Series
- Part 1 of Pirates of the Care-i-Bae'n
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,524
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 1,030
- Kudos:
- 1,043
- Bookmarks:
- 316
- Hits:
- 19,523
Bookmarked by Ithlien
27 Aug 2023
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Summary
Stede needs a place to call home, Ed needs a reason to get up in the morning. They both need a fresh start.
Welcome to Clerkenwell.
*
A modern AU romcom about trauma and healing. Unbetaed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 77,781
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 736
- Kudos:
- 727
- Bookmarks:
- 143
- Hits:
- 15,433
Bookmarked by Ithlien
20 Jun 2023
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Summary
Ed finds Stede Bonnet's Filofax and tries being Stede Bonnet on for size. It's going okay until he meets the real Stede Bonnet.
A deeply stupid modern take on the "Ed wants to steal Stede's identity" idea. Unbetaed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,937
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 109
- Kudos:
- 724
- Bookmarks:
- 147
- Hits:
- 3,663
Bookmarked by Ithlien
01 Jun 2023
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Summary
Frenchie laughs.
He laughs, and the sound is so unexpected that Izzy startles, heart thumping unevenly in his chest, breath caught in his throat. His chin tilts and his eyes squint and his nose wrinkles with it, and it strikes Izzy that he’s never heard Frenchie laugh before. Not properly, not like this.
I could care for you, Izzy thinks, sudden and violent as a bolt of lightning splitting a mast.
I could care for you, if I chose to.
__
In which Frenchie unofficially usurps Izzy as first mate, and they both also fall in love a little bit.
Featuring an entirely baffled and unwillingly charmed Izzy Hands, Frenchie playing the long game, Edward Teach Makes a Friend, Fang And Ivan My Beloveds, a suitably murderous Jim Jimenez, and a very spiteful and pissed off ghost in the walls.
[COMPLETE]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 158,811
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Comments:
- 495
- Kudos:
- 678
- Bookmarks:
- 196
- Hits:
- 16,723
Bookmarked by Ithlien
17 May 2023
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Summary
Ed's minding his business when the new neighbor's kid comes around holding a human puppet. It's creepy as hell, but as soon as the kid's father rounds the corner, Ed doesn't mind.
ETA: Podfic available here from Kninjaknitter my darling dearest
“Hello,” says the strangest voice Ed’s ever heard, jolting him out of his reverie, sending his heart speeding into chaos.He opens his eyes and he’s staring straight at a stuffed animal in the shape of a human person. It is bald with a tiny hat and too-big eyes and it wears a blue shirt and a name tag that says Jeffy in the sort of scrawl normally reserved for words written in blood.
A puppet, he realizes several seconds beyond when it would have been appropriate to respond.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,773
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 1,654
- Kudos:
- 1,762
- Bookmarks:
- 599
- Hits:
- 33,664
Bookmarked by Ithlien
16 May 2023