Malar_key
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Summary
First, he stretches. Then, he exercises. He eats breakfast, and watches the street he lives on come to life -- the old man and his corgi, the baristas at the coffee shop, the woman who jogs, the daughter and father, and the Indian grocer all making their appearance. Then, he showers, shaves, dresses, and heads to his job as an Auror, where he has been on desk duty ever since he was pulled from the field because of The Incident.
Draco lives his life by his Ministry mandated Mind Healer routines, and he is trying to get back to being Potter's left-hand man, but the cannonball to his careful regimen comes in the form of a very cranky Hermione Granger.
Banter, fluff, eventual smut, an ensemble cast of friends and family and weddings and babies. Told in mostly Draco's POV, but the occasional random one, because who says Draco is the most reliable of narrators?
It’s a character-driven slow burn.
[Author's Note: I give blanket permission for this fic to be bound, translated, narrated, and for artwork, so long as you are not making a profit off of it. For more info, feel free to message me on IG, monstersof.men.]
[9/8/25: I am beginning minor chapter edits.]
Series
- Part 1 of The Hum Hallelujah Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 188,254
- Chapters:
- 72/72
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 811
- Kudos:
- 1,616
- Bookmarks:
- 837
- Hits:
- 84,715
Bookmarked by Malar_key
10 Sep 2025
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Hermione Granger made a bargain with Death, who had taken the form of Draco Malfoy. In exchange for restoring her life, she must guide him through the human world and teach him what it means to live as one of them.
But along the way Draco discovered he could fall in love with more than life...
(on a temporary hiatus)
Bookmarked by Malar_key
06 Sep 2025
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Where The Duck Is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Jul 2025
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Summary
Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.
Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.
Warnings:
- Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.
- Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.
- Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.
- Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 160,562
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 1,545
- Kudos:
- 3,228
- Bookmarks:
- 1,472
- Hits:
- 165,704
Bookmarked by Malar_key
06 Sep 2025
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Summary
There is a world where a prophecy goes unheard. A world where a boy is never orphaned, where he grows up safe and loved, rather than in a cupboard under the stairs.
But in that world, Harry Potter died in 1991—killed in what became known as the Hogwarts Express Massacre, along with every child who was supposed to attend Hogwarts that year. The war did not end, but it shifted, forcing both sides to set aside their differences against two common enemies: Gellert Grindelwald and Albus Dumbledore.
Seven years later, during a memorial for the children lost that day, the dead return. But not as ghosts. They are flesh and blood. They are seven years older and ripped from a world that's only just beginning to recover from its own war.
And the families who mourned them must now face the mirrors of the children they lost—and the strangers they’ve become.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,318
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 420
- Kudos:
- 2,891
- Bookmarks:
- 1,238
- Hits:
- 47,936
Bookmarked by Malar_key
18 Aug 2025
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Summary
What if things were a little different?
What if Guy swept Nan off her feet first before she met Theo?
What if Lizzy is ready to take her power back?
What if Theo already had a broken heart and found a friend in Lizzy?
What if indeed.
___________________________________Being caged by his arms, made my stomach flip in excitement. The smell of him, of fresh sea air and cologne. How could I have almost dismissed all this?
"They say, if you catch a Duke's eye the whole world would be at your feet." He smirked, as his breath fanned on my neck.
My hands covered my face, heating in embarrassment at the memory and laughed.
"I don't care about the world at my feet. What about him?" I teased smiling up at him.
He lowered to his knees, slowly un-tying my shoes. My heart quickened at the sight of his eyes blown out and hungry.
"I guess you haven't noticed," he said looking up at me, "I've always been here."Bookmarked by Malar_key
12 Aug 2025